The Chaos Squad

"Peter Parker picked a peck of pickled peppers."

"I thought it was 'picked a pot'?"

"No, it was peck. Or maybe pack..."

"You guys are weird."

Peter and Shuri both looked up from the tablet. They both sat at the kitchen counter-table thingy. Bucky had just walked in and grabbed a plum from the fridge. It had been only about five weeks since Steve his merry men were marked wanted criminals and three weeks since the entirety of the Sokovia Accords were being demolished and rewritten. The once-criminals were now living with everybody else at the Avengers Compound. School was starting back up in a month. The teens shared a look.

"Hurricane Katrina?"

"More like Hurricane Tortilla!"

"Oh no!"

"Our table!"

"It's broken!"

"What are thooooooose?!"

"Those are my crocks!"

"This bish is empty."

"Yeet--"

"Stop!" Bucky playfully groaned, covering his ears, "You're teen language is killing me!"

"Yaaaaaas."

Bucky threw a second plum at Shuri before outright sprinting from the room. Peter caught it inches from her face and took a casual bite from it.

Shuri made a face, "I'm still not used to that."

"I doubt you ever will be," Peter replied.

"You should really warn someone when your Peter-tingle activates."

"First of all, don't call it that. Second of all, it warns me of danger. I can't warn others, only save them. I don't get enough heads up to say it aloud."

"Seems like your spidey-sense has some weaknesses."

Peter sighed but didn't argue. At least she wasn't calling it Peter-tingle anymore. He finished the plum and tossed the pit into the garbage can at the other side of the room.

"Anyway," Peter tapped the screen, "Where were we?"

"Pot or peck or pack?"

"Let's go with pack for now."

Again, they were interrupted as both their kimoyo beads rang. Shuri and Peter pulled up their holograms, displaying the text from the chat group.

///

Loki: I need to tell you something. 

Peter: What?

Shuri: What do you want to tell us?

Peter: Loki!

Loki: Sorry, I had to deal with something. I have a surprise.

Peter: Oooh what is it?

Shuri: Tell me you did something cool.

Loki: I did but it's not that specifically.
I'm coming to New York.

Peter: OMG REALLY?!

Shuri: YAS MY DUDE

Loki: Indefinitely actually. I'm hitching a ride with my brother and some friends but I'm ditching them when I land in about five minutes.

Peter: Are you far from the Big Apple?

Loki: No, not far at all.

Shuri: Meet us at this cafe XXXXXX Main Street.

Loki: Will do.

///

"Hey, kiddos," Tony strode into the room as they shut off the beads, "Doing something?"

"We were just about to head out," Peter grinned, standing up with Shuri.

"Where?"

"Just a cafe to meet with a friend."

"Alright, but stay safe."

~~~

Loki, contrary to unpopular belief, was not a people person. Unlike his brother, who could make friends with most anyone he met who enjoyed killing and smashing things. (Thor could also burn bridges faster then Surtur destroyed Asgard but we don't talk about that.) Loki would much rather be holed up inside his room or a library with a book in hand and a cup of hot chocolate. Or maybe tea, if the mood struck him. If you wanted to compare the two brothers, it was the puppy dog extrovert and the black cat introvert. People tended to prefer the puppy.

Not that the cat cared. After all, cats don't have feelings. Neither did Loki, apparently.

Loki really wanted to make friends. He wanted non-toxic relationships that didn't end with him being stabbed, poisoned, cursed, and/or chained to a rock with his mouth sewn shut. No, that wasn't oddly specific at all. The former prince had tried to mend his relationship with Thor on the Statesman, but decided that the thunderer wouldn't want his company right before the impromptu coronation. Instead, Loki let Bruce gawk at a little of his magic. At least someone appreciates it.

Not that there weren't others who would like it. But they wouldn't just want to see it. If Loki had decided to stay on the ship, there was a 100% chance that SHIELD would have apprehended him when they landed and Thor wouldn't protested. They would have loved his magic. Loved drawing blood, running tests, strapping him to a table and having him vivisected without any anesthetic because why waste it on a war criminal when they don't feel anything except anger and hatred. And not only that but their precious specimen had almost four thousand years left on its lifespan, so you can test it in both new and old ways without worrying if it will die of old age anytime soon! 

Loki watches too much Sherlock. The high functioning sociopath's sarcasm is a bad influence.

So, to avoid any and all conversation with his brother about the inevitable run in with SHIELD and/or the Avengers, Loki texted his real friends and now he's waiting for them. The cafe wasn't that bad for a Midgardian establishment. He had to make note. There was a perfectly empty corner table next to the tinted window and he could see some trees in the distance from the park.

Even with this, Loki's anxiety got the better of him so he knew he probably looked like a nervous wreck fidgeting with his kimoyo beads, long since changed out of his armor and now in a grey hoodie. He had shut off the audible alarm on it, instead waiting for the buzz when they were close.

The buzzing came just as the door swung open. Two people, female and male, came in. As if sensing it, the boy looked in Loki's direction. Without thinking, all three of them raised their wrists to show three bracelets on each. Kimoyo beads with their special color accents, metal bands with shiny colored finishes, and handmade plastic color bracelets. Loki stood as the two came to him. Their greetings were varied.

"Hi!"

"Hello."

"Sup?"

"So you're Loki?" The boy asked.

"No, I'm the tooth fairy," Loki rolled his eyes.

"Where are my coins then, man?" The girl crossed her arms, "You owe me twenty teeth worth."

"Sorry... Shuri," Loki mimed reading a list, "I forgot to refill my magic pouch. Maybe next time."

"What about me?"

"You're out of luck, Peter."

"Aw," Peter pouted before laughing. They all sat down and he started talking, "It's amazing to finally meet you in person."

"Ditto, though I expected you to be older," Shuri admitted.

"What, I don't look mature to you?" Loki frowned.

"No, I just thought that you'd be a college student."

"Well, I'm not."

"Dang, though," Peter said, "You could be our age. How old are you?"

"1056," Loki blurted. He then laughed like it was a joke, "Uh--" He did some mental math, "Sixteen."

"Hey, us too!" Shuri grinned, "Actually, I'm transferring from Wakanda and Peter already lives in Queens. Are you switching too?"

Shit. He forgot that Midgardians were educated for so long.

"I'm homeschooled, but I mostly teach myself. I could transfer but it doesn't matter much."

"Is homeschooling good?" Peter asked, "May offered it because I'm ahead in some classes but I really don't want to ditch Ned and MJ, especially not with Flash."

Ned and MJ were his friends from school and Flash was the idiot bully. Loki remembered.

"It has some issues, mostly because I don't have as much of an excuse to get out of the house regularly. I hate my family. But it's great if you want to go at your own pace."

Loki felt extremely nervous, which was strange because he was a talented liar and had actually researched this information once for some vague reason. 

"Anyway," Shuri said, "Tell us about that cool thing you did!"

"Which one? I do a lot of cool things."

"The one you said in the text."

"Oh, that one. So I found out my adopted brother had an older sister who's a psychopath."

"Damn," Peter's eyes widened, "What is up with your family?"

"It's my adoptive father's fault. Everything is."

"Not everything," Peter pointed out, "You met us without his help."

"I met you because I was using the internet as an escape."

"We all do that," Shuri shrugged, "If you don't you're not human."

"Yes," Loki gave a strained smile. 

"Wait I almost forgot. You have to look at this!"

Shuri then began to ramble for nearly half an hour about some new tech she was working on, with Peter putting in some details. Apparently, Peter was Stark's personal intern and Shuri was the younger sister of the king of Wakanda, also known as the hero Black Panther. (Loki knew of the Black Panther. He'd been to Earth before and he knew of Wakanda's hidden advancements. He was sorry to hear that King T'Chaka had passed.) The two of them also developed most of the Avengers' tech.

At the part where Peter was explaining this new hero by the name of Spider-Man, there were gunshots and screams heard outside. Across the street, which happened to be a bank, there were people running around. Obviously, it was being robbed. 

Peter jumped to his feet, "I need to go!"

"You shouldn't," Loki argued, "It's not safe out there."

"He needs to go," Shuri echoed, "Uh-- His aunt is very protective. He's not allowed to be near crimes."

Peter gave a rushed nod, dancing on his feet like he wanted to bolt out of there. He wasn't scared. It was like he was late for something and needed to get there on time. Or maybe--

Oh.

Oh.

Loki should've realized.

"Okay, go!" He said, "But stay safe!"

Peter sprinted to the back of the store, leaving Loki and Shuri behind. Several bullets came to their side of the street and they both ducked under the table as the window shattered.

"This was one sucky meeting!" Shuri yelled over the screaming still happening outside.

"I think it's rather exciting!"

"Hey, look!"

She pointed outside where someone clad in red and blue spandex swung down to the ground. They engaged the robbers in hand-to hand combat as they tried to shoot at him.

"That's Spider-Man?"

"That's Spider-Man. Peter designed his tech with Stark."

Loki watched them fight, reading Spider-Man's aura. It was the same as Peter's. He totally called it. He saw one bullet fly dangerously close before deciding to interfere. With a subtle wave of his hand, the robber's magazine fell out of the gun and shattered on the group. Spider-Man took this moment of confusion on the robber's behalf to web them up just as police sirens filled the air. Spider-Man swung away.

"Wow," Loki mumbled, "New York has developed a lot since I was last here."

"When were you last here?" Shuri asked as they both sat properly at the table again.

"2012," Loki decided to speak the half-truth, "You remember my incident?"

"The one ending with you..."

"Yes. I was lost literally and figuratively for about a year. I ended up with some bad people and I was forced to do some horrible things. I told Peter about it after I finally fixed myself."

"Sorry," Shuri said sheepishly.

"No bother."

Just then, the back door opened again. Peter came running in, tired looking but unscathed, "Is it safe now."

"Yes, thanks to Spider-Man," Shuri grinned.

"Good work out there," Loki said, high fiving him.

Peter complied, then froze. Shuri stopped too. Both of them took a moment to register what Loki had said. He couldn't suppress the grin that spread across his face.

"What?" He asked, "Do you think I'm stupid?"

"Shuri, you had one job!"

"It wasn't me!"

"It was neither of your faults," Loki waved a hand. "I'm just good at discovering secrets."

"Please don't tell anyone," Peter literally begged as he sat down, "No one but the Avengers know! Not even my family!"

"I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you so much."

"I can keep secrets. I have plenty of my own." Loki gave a crooked smirk, "The rule is that you give so you get. You gave me a pretty big secret, so do you want to know mine?"

Peter and Shuri shared a look, Shuri tilting her head with intrigue, "Only if you're comfortable with it."

"What do you think of supervillains?"

Peter frowned, "If they're bad, they need to be stopped."

"What about ones who try to redeem themselves?"

"We help them," Shuri said.

"Like Bucky and Yelena," Peter nodded.

"That's nice. Now, do you remember the big incident in 2012?"

"You mean the aliens?"

"Yes. Now..."

Loki looked around to check if no one was watching, then looked them. He let his eyes flash unmistakably bright and held out his palm to light a small green flame.

"I may or may not have been there during the alien invasion."

Peter and Shuri gaped at him, at a loss for words.

"What-- You're-- Is that-- Are you--"

"That's magic. Oh wow. I can't believe this. I've only ever seen Wanda's on video."

"What--" Peter's eyebrows furrowed, "Are you an Avenger? One of the originals, since the alien invasion was when they first assembled."

Loki's hand closed into a fist, snuffing out the flame, "No, I didn't fight against the aliens. I didn't help the Avengers. Believe me, I wanted to."

They both looked at him with confusion.

"I didn't fight against the invasion. I led it."