Chapter 26
Yelena remembers when she was small that Melina used to put her in a time out whenever she did something bad.
Melina would grab her hand and lead her away from whatever she had been doing to push her into the corner of a room and tell her to stand there. When Yelena didn’t stay there the first few times, Melina fetched a quarter and told Yelena to hold it against the wall with her nose.
Yelena never let the quarter fall. She never even thought about the consequences of what would happen if she did.
Melina forgot about her standing in the corner and Yelena stood there with the quarter pressed against the wall for nearly an hour and a half until Natasha finds Yelena crying quietly, the face of George Washington imprinted on her nose from the coin being pressed against her skin for so long.
Natasha never got put in the corner. Yelena would watch as Natasha was meant to do wall sits. She’d watch Natasha’s legs shake as time passes and the older girl wavers.
Whenever Natasha got in trouble to cover for something Yelena did, Yelena would join her. Yelena could never do it as long as Natasha but she’d try her best and Natasha would always smile at her and Yelena knew she appreciated it.
Alexei lost his temper with her once and tried to spank Yelena. He didn’t understand his strength and Yelena sobbed and couldn’t sit for a week afterward.
Melina yelled at him. Yelena could hear them argue and Natasha took her hand and took Yelena for a walk to get away from the yelling.
While Natasha wasn’t great at showing feelings as a teenager, she was protective without a fault.
When Yelena was torn from her sister, she no longer had anyone to cover for her. There were no quarters or corners.
Punishments depended on what Yelena did. Sometimes it would be as simple as a smack across the face and sometimes it would be beating Yelena until she couldn’t physically stand because of the pain.
Yelena learned where to hit to make it hurt. She learned from her own experiences.
Yelena even had her fingers broken as punishment once for failing a mission that required her to hack. She hadn’t typed fast enough.
Punishment in the Red Room taught her nothing except how to hide fear and lie better.
Punishment hurt.
While Yelena craves rules, she fears the consequences.
When she and Natasha came up with her list of rules, Natasha made it clear that she was never going to strike Yelena. That was a line she wasn’t willing to cross and Yelena appreciated it.
When they made rules for Yelena, they also made rules for Natasha. While Natasha wouldn’t receive a consequence if she broke hers, Natasha’s rules were mainly for Yelena.
For example, Natasha couldn’t just disappear without leaving a note. Yelena needed to know where she was.
Yelena had been good and followed the rules until she didn’t. She hadn’t meant to snap at Natasha but she had been angry and her mind had felt stuck on an endless loop of anger and pain.
Yelena broke two rules.
No raising her voice at Natasha.
No getting physical with Natasha off of the mats.
Yelena had yelled and kicked at Natasha. She had screamed and sobbed and Natasha manages to coax her down just like she always had.
Yelena frets about consequences but Natasha said that they can wait until she had calmed down and felt safe.
Yelena curled into Natasha and listens to her heart, hearing her hum quietly as she taps the names against her back.
Yelena doesn’t know how long she sat curled up against Natasha but she eventually pulled away. “I’m sorry.” She feels much calmer.
“I know you are,” Natasha said, reaching out to cup her face. “I forgive you.”
Yelena twists the hem of her shirt around her fingers nervously. “I broke rules.” She brings the point up again.
“You did.” Natasha inclines her head. “Do you remember the rules you broke?”
“Yes.” Yelena nods her head.
“Tell me. Recite them,” Natasha said firmly and Yelena tenses up some before feeling her sister gently grasp her hand and rub circles on the back of her hand with her thumb.
“I yelled at you and I kicked at you,” Yelena replies, gripping onto her sister’s hand. A reminder that she wouldn’t hurt her. “I don’t know why I did it.”
“I know,” Natasha gives her hand a gentle squeeze. “And do you remember what we discussed as a consequence?”
Yelena appreciates that Natasha didn’t call it a punishment. “Yes.”
“You broke two rules. How much time do you feel is fair?” Natasha asked and Yelena frowns slightly.
“I don’t know.” Yelena paused. Melina would put her in the corner and tell her to think about what she did but there was never a set amount of time. Melina came and got her whenever she deemed Yelena to have learned her lesson.
“How about ten minutes.” Natasha states and Yelena nods because she doesn’t have a better idea. “I want you to think about maybe why you lost control.”
“What if I still don’t know why at the end?” Yelena blurts and Natasha gives her hand another small squeeze.
“It’s okay if you don’t know. Saying ‘I don’t know’ is an acceptable answer,” Natasha tells her, and Yelena nods. “Are you ready?”
Yelena nods once again and stands. Natasha rests a hand onto the back of her neck and walks with her to the corner.
“I’m going to put a timer on my phone,” Natasha tells Yelena. “If you do not feel safe or you need me then you can speak up. Is that understood?”
Yelena feels like a broken robot, repeatedly nodding her head.
“Words, Yelena. I need to hear you say it,” Natasha requested and Yelena whispers the affirmation. “Good.”
Yelena focuses on one spot on the wall and hears Natasha move around behind her. There’s no quarter. This isn’t Ohio. Melina isn’t here.
Yelena stares at the wall and thinks. It’s quiet in the room and Yelena listens for a few moments before daring to speak. “Natasha?”
“Yes?” Natasha replies and Yelena lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.
“Just… making sure you were still there…” Yelena murmurs before quieting down again.
Yelena thinks over the events of the past few days and tries to pinpoint when her bad mood started.
She realizes it while staring at the pale walls in Natasha’s room. She checks in with Natasha twice more to make sure that she was still there.
The alarm on Natasha’s phone startles her and she jumps, her heart hammering in her chest at the sudden noise. Natasha moves toward her and wrapped Yelena up in her arms.
“I’m proud of you,” Natasha whispers, pressing a kiss against Yelena’s forehead. “Do you have an answer to what I asked you?”
“Yeah…” Yelena rests her head onto Natasha’s shoulder. “Did you know that Peter liked MJ too?”
She can feel Natasha’s confused stare down at her. “I did not…”
“He’s me and MJ’s friend. We thought he should be one of the first people to know,” Yelena closed her eyes, taking a moment to inhale deeply and surround herself with the smell of Natasha. “He said he was happy for us but his voice and body language said differently. He was jealous?” Yelena searches for the right words. “Sad. Angry? I had a hard time telling. But he looked at MJ and I knew.”
Yelena lets out a long sigh, having not realized how much Peter’s reaction had bothered her. She had tried to brush it off and forget about it but it obviously weighed on her mind and caused her to act out.
“I don’t want to take MJ away from Peter,” Yelena murmurs.
“You’re not taking MJ away from anybody. Both you and MJ consented and decided to start a relationship,” Natasha replies, carding her fingers through Yelena’s hair. “If Peter wanted to date her then he could have tried asking her out before you did. He can’t be upset with you for something that you didn’t know about.”
“I don’t want Peter to be mad at me…” Yelena whispers, curling her fingers into Natasha’s shirt.
“I know, little one,” Natasha cups Yelena’s head to her shoulder. “It’ll be okay.”
Yelena usually believes Natasha but something in her gut said that she needed to speak with Peter and she was sure that it was going to get messy.