Chapter 21
The next day, Yelena sits down with Natasha in her big sister’s bedroom. “I wanna talk about therapy yesterday.”
Natasha joins Yelena on the bed and Yelena scoots closer to curl into her side. Natasha readily wrapped an arm around her. “Everything okay”
“Mm-hmm,” Yelena nods her head before resting her head onto Natasha’s shoulder. “I spoke with Frankie yesterday about what happened with me and you… when I got mad at you.”
Natasha nods her head, letting Yelena take a moment to gather her thoughts.
“I think… Frankie said…” Yelena paused as she struggled to think of how to phrase it. “I need rules.” She finally blurts.
“Rules?” Natasha repeats and Yelena nods. “What kind of rules?”
Yelena shrugs. “Just-- I need rules to make me feel safe. I still feel really guilty about what happened and I know you forgave me for it but--” Yelena reached up to pull at her hair in frustration as words fail her.
Natasha quickly snatched Yelena’s hand before she could, squeezing her hand gently. “Take a moment. It’s okay.”
Yelena takes a moment to take a deep breath. Talking about feelings was hard. Once she collected herself, she continues. “The Red Room had rules. I knew what I could and couldn’t do. I need rules, Natasha.”
“I’m not the Red Room,” Natasha said and Yelena quickly nods her head.
“I know that,” She swallows hard. “I know that. You’re nothing like them. But I need this.”
“And punishment for breaking the rules?” Natasha asked her. “What do you think we would do about that?”
“I dunno…” Yelena plays with Natasha’s fingers as she avoids her gaze.
“I’m not comfortable with physically punishing you,” Natasha said and Yelena immediately shakes her head.
“Me either. I don’t want that. I… I don’t know,” Yelena lets out a long sigh.
“I can’t ground you because you don’t go anywhere and I’m not taking your phone away because you need MJ and she needs you,” Natasha continues and squeezed Yelena’s hand. “Do you have ideas?”
Yelena honestly wasn’t sure if Natasha would be willing to have this conversation with her.
“I dunno…” Yelena pulls her knees up to her chest but Natasha untucks her and pulls her over into her lap instead. “Remember how Melina punished me when I was little?”
“She’d make you stand in a corner,” Natasha recalls.
“She would make me put my nose against the wall and told me to think about what I did and how it affected the others around me,” Yelena said quietly.
“Is… is that what you want to do?” Natasha asked and Yelena feels a little foolish for suggesting it but shrugs.
“It can’t hurt to try,” She mumbles. “If… if you’re okay with that--”
“I’ll do what you need me to in order to feel safe,” Natasha said, bringing Yelena’s hand up to kiss her fingertips. “Look at me, little one. I love you.”
Yelena looks up at her. “I love you too.” She said softly.
“Let’s get a piece of paper and something to write with and we’ll come up with some rules, okay?” Natasha said and Yelena nods her head.
“In a minute. I just want to lay with you,” Yelena said and Natasha nods her head, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“Of course, little one,” Natasha said, pulling Yelena closer.
Yelena is spending the night with MJ in her bedroom.
Natasha actually made sure that MJ was there instead of assuming. She had confiscated the pair of handcuffs Yelena had after catching her using them.
Yelena doesn’t know but there is something about spending the night with MJ that leads to serious conversations in the early hours of the morning.
“Hey MJ?” Yelena speaks up and MJ cranes her head up from where she was laying next to Yelena. “Can I tell you something?”
“Always,” MJ hums, rolling over to face Yelena.
Yelena props herself up on her elbow and MJ gives Yelena her full attention.
“I like you,” Yelena tells her. “As more than a friend. I didn’t know it at first because I’d never had a crush on anyone before.”
MJ stares at Yelena for a few moments. “I like you too, Belova.”
“I have a crush on you,” Yelena clarifies in case MJ didn’t understand.
MJ shrugs. “I have a crush on you too.” She states. “What do you suppose we should do about that?”
“You like me too?” Yelena blurts and MJ props herself up on her elbow to face Yelena.
“Yeah. I do.” MJ reached up to run a hand through her hair. “So… I like you and you like me.”
“Yeah…” Yelena feels like she might be dreaming. “I think I’ve liked you since we kissed.”
MJ grins. “Told you I’m a good kisser.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Yelena lets out a soft laugh, her heart thudding in her chest anxiously. “That’s… that’s what I wanted to tell you.”
They descend into quiet for a few minutes.
“Can I kiss you again?” MJ asked this time and Yelena looks at her in surprise.
“Uh… yeah…” Yelena shuffles closer. MJ reached up to rest a hand against Yelena’s cheek and leaned in.
It’s similar to their first kiss. A brush on the lips with no pulling hair or deepening or yanking at clothes.
“Still see fireworks?” MJ teased and Yelena pokes her finger against MJ’s side where she knows she’s ticklish. MJ jumps, letting out a startled laugh as she swats Yelena’s hand away.
“I… I’m not allowed to leave the towers without the others but would you maybe want to… go on a date with me?” Yelena asked, having absolutely no clue what she was doing but used what she knew about American movies and other relationships.
MJ stares at her before nodding. “Yeah. I’d like that, Belova.”
Yelena leans forward and pressed her forehead against MJ’s. “I’ve never done this before.”
“I’m not very good at this,” MJ said. “So you’re not the only one.”
Yelena nods her head slowly. “I might need you to tell me if I hurt you. I’m not good at picking up on that sometimes.”
“Same thing goes for you. You gotta tell me if I hurt you,” MJ said and Yelena nods her head.
MJ lays back down, rolling over to drape herself over Yelena like usual.
Yelena laid back down and squirms to get comfortable.
MJ liked her back. Yelena had been frightened that MJ wouldn’t like her back. Scared of ruining their relationship.
But she knows now that relationships doesn’t change friendships. You can be best friends with your partner.
Yelena falls asleep with a grin on her face.