Chapter 11
Yelena lay in bed with Natasha that night and thinks about the previous twenty-four hours.
Natasha is quiet as well as she thinks. Natasha pulls Yelena just a little closer that night, as if Fury himself would kick down the door to try and take Yelena away.
Yelena counts Natasha’s heartbeat from where she rested her head on the older woman’s chest, drumming her fingers in time with it.
She keeps having fits of restless sleep. Every time Yelena managed to fall asleep then she’d dream of the diner and imagine the pizzeria getting shot up as well. She wakes up multiple times and would have to call MJ.
It seemed that MJ was just as restless as she was. Yelena’s phone went off twice when the teenager called just to ensure that her own dreams were not real.
It gets to the point that Yelena makes a nest of blankets on the floor of the closet because she needed the small space to feel safe. Natasha squishes her way into the closet with Yelena and curls up with her. Yelena clutches the stuffed dog she had close as she runs her fingers over the soft fabric with worry.
Natasha wraps her arms around her and holds her close and whispers to her.
“Hey, Natasha?” Yelena whispered, her face tucked against the crook of Natasha’s neck as the older woman strokes her hair.
“Yes, little one?” Natasha whispers back, pressing a soft kiss to Yelena’s forehead.
“Did SHIELD ever make you go to therapy?” Yelena asked and the hand stroking her hair paused before continuing.
“They did. It was mandatory,” Natasha nods her head.
“Did… did it help?” Yelena asked quietly and Natasha nuzzles her nose against Yelena’s forehead.
“I wasn’t exactly truthful and I didn’t try. I said what they wanted to hear in order to clear me. But… they did give me some helpful tips for dealing with emotions,” Natasha said and Yelena feels her frown. “Why the sudden question?”
“Do you think going to therapy would help me?” Yelena asked Natasha, frowning when Natasha pulls away.
“Where’s this coming from?” Natasha cups Yelena’s face. “Did someone say something to you?”
Yelena shrugs, glancing away from her. “Tony mentioned how therapy helped him…”
“Is therapy something that you want to try?” Natasha asked, her thumbs stroking over Yelena’s cheeks.
Yelena shrugs slightly. “I don’t know. I want…” She paused before shrugging again.
“Come on, sweet girl,” Natasha coaxed. “What do you want?”
Yelena sighs, leaning into Natasha’s touch. “I want to be good.”
“You are good,” Natasha replies but Yelena shakes her head.
“I want to be good but I don’t want to be a superhero…” Yelena lets out a long sigh. “I want to wipe the red from my ledger but I don’t know how to do that.”
Natasha was quiet for a few moments. “I have an idea.”
Yelena’s eyes flicker up to look at her sister. “What is it?”
Natasha leans forward to kiss the tip of Yelena’s nose. “You said you like dogs, right?”
Yelena squints at Natasha suspiciously. “I do. I love dogs.”
Natasha chuckles. “You could volunteer down at the local shelter nearby. Help out with the animals.”
“That’s a thing you can do?” Yelena asked with wide eyes.
“I’m sure you could rope Peter and MJ into doing it with you,” Natasha said with a small smile at the look on Yelena’s face.
“And I’d be helping?” Yelena asked quietly.
“You’d be giving love to those animals that need it,” Natasha said. “You’d be helping.”
“And you think it could wipe some of the red from my ledger?” Yelena questioned softly and Natasha nods her head. “I wanna do that.”
Natasha smiles, leaning forward to press her forehead against Yelena’s. “We’ll talk with Peter about it tomorrow. He’d know more about that sort of stuff.”
“What if SHIELD comes after me again?” Yelena asked and Natasha shakes her head.
“I’m working something out with Maria and Coulson,” Natasha brushed her fingers over Yelena’s hair. “It’s a little cramped in this closet. Are you ready to get out now or not yet?”
Yelena paused before nodding her head. “Can we go make warm drinks?”
A fond smile crosses Natasha’s face. “Of course we can.”
Yelena finally climbs out of the closet and moves to set the stuffed dog on her bed before hesitating.
She didn’t want to let it go yet. Rubbing the soft fabric between her fingers soothed her.
“You can bring it up to the kitchen,” Natasha said and Yelena frowns slightly.
“What if the others see?” Yelena asked quietly. Natasha digs through her things until she procures the green bear that she bought at the same time as Yelena’s.
“I’ll bring mine,” Natasha said and Yelena pulls the stuffed dog back to her chest before leaning against Natasha.
The two head to the kitchen. Natasha sets the bear onto the counter so she can start to heat up milk. Yelena takes a seat at the counter, her fingers rubbing one of the ears of the stuffed dog in her hold. The fabric was becoming thin from how much Yelena had worried the fabric between her fingers.
There’s a shuffling noise and Yelena glances up at Toni as she moves into the kitchen and pauses at the sight of them. She’s wearing her Taskmaster helmet which looks a little funny with her pajamas.
“Hey, Antonia. Do you want some too?” Natasha offered, moving to pull a third mug from the cabinet.
“wis it?” Toni’s voice came out slightly muffled.
“Hot cocoa,” Natasha said as she sets a third mug down.
“Okay…” Toni takes a seat next to the chair Yelena was perched on.
Yelena leans against Toni, feeling the woman’s muscles tense up under the touch. Toni doesn’t shove Yelena away or pull back so Yelena just leans against her and rubs the fabric on the stuffed dogs ear.
Natasha pours three mugs and sets them up on the counter. Toni stares down at her mug for a few moments but doesn’t make a move to pull it closer.
“You can take off your helmet,” Yelena said, reaching up to rest her fingers on the lock that would disengage the helmet from where it say securely on Toni’s head but she doesn’t unlock it yet. “It’s just me and Natasha.”
“What if someone else comes in?” Toni asked quietly.
“Hey FRIDAY, would you alert us before anyone approaches the kitchen?” Natasha tilts her head back to speak to the ceiling.
“Of course, Miss Romanoff,” FRIDAY agrees and Toni finally nods her head and lets Yelena unlock the helmet.
Toni pulls her helmet off and sets it down on the counter. The scarring on her face seemed irritated and Yelena can tell that Toni had a rough night by the bags under her eyes.
Yelena leans against Toni again as the woman finally grasped the mug and brings it up to her mouth.
It’s quiet in the kitchen as the three enjoy their warm drinks. The anxiety in Yelena’s chest fades slightly at the warm drink and two of her people there with her.
“Is that yours?” Toni finally breaks the silence, looking down at the blue stuffed dog in Yelena’s grip.
“Maybe…” Yelena shifts to hide the stuffed animal, feeling her cheeks turn pink at the question.
“What’s its name?” Toni asked and Yelena looks up at her in confusion.
“Why would I name it?” Yelena asked and Toni shrugged.
“I named all mine,” Toni said and Yelena perks up slightly.
“You had toys like these?” Yelena asked and Toni nods.
“I had plenty of them… my father wasn’t always a horrible man. Not to me,” Toni said before briefly looking at Natasha. “He loved me. I was happy…”
Toni then reached up to touch the burns on her face. “I stopped being his daughter after the explosion.”
Natasha reached out to gently grip Toni’s wrist and pull her hand away from her face. “I’m sorry…”
Toni shakes her head. “I’m not mad at you. You… you did what you had to do.”
“I’m still sorry,” Natasha said and Toni twists her hand to let just let Natasha hold her wrist.
Toni glances back at Yelena. “So. A name. You should name it.”
Yelena looks down at the stuffed animal in her lap. “I don’t know what I should name it.”
Yelena still had issues with letting herself have things. She was always scared that someone bigger and meaner than her could come and take it away. Naming it would just make her get more attached.
“Just name it whatever feels right,” Toni shrugs before downing the last sip in her mug.
Yelena stares at the blue stuffed dog for a few moments, running her thumb over where it was missing one of its eyes. “I’m gonna name it Dog.”
Natasha lets out a small laugh. “Dog?”
Yelena shrugs. “It’s a dog. So I’m gonna call it Dog.”
“A very fine name,” Toni nods her head. “I had a stuffed cat I called Moose.”
Yelena glances at the green bear. “You gotta name yours now, Natasha.”
Natasha lets out a hum. “I suppose I do. I’ll name it Pockets.”
“Pockets?” Yelena scrunched her nose up.
“I got it because it’s the same color as your first vest. Pockets it a very fitting name,” Natasha said and Yelena grins.
“It is the same color as my vest!” Yelena said, delighted at the admission.
“Dog and Pockets.” Toni repeats with a small smile.
“I never claimed to be creative with names,” Natasha defends with a laugh.
Yelena can’t help but grin, setting Dog down onto the counter so she could focus on her mug of cocoa that had cooled considerably during their conversation.
Dog and Pockets.
Yelena and Natasha.