christmas
Yelena woke up the next morning to knocking on the bedroom door. She did startle at first, jerking forward until the handcuff around her wrist stops her, knocking against her tracker and scraping her skin uncomfortably. Natasha has a knife in her hand as she throws the door opens, Yelena pulling the latch on her handcuff to back her up.
It’s just Clint, still in his Christmas pajamas and with a very wide-awake toddler on his hip. Cooper squeals when he sees them, immediately reaching his arms out toward Yelena.
“It’s Christmas tradition to get up early to open gifts,” Clint explains as he holds Cooper out to Yelena. She reaches out to take the toddler from him slowly, still tired but alert. Cooper’s fingers immediately tangle into her hair to give it a tug.
Yelena follows Clint downstairs toward where Laura and Maria were already on the couch. Even Lila was awake, her fist shoved into her mouth as her big eyes peer around.
Yelena and Natasha have to stop in the doorway to the living room because there were more gifts under it than there was last night. So many more gifts flooded the living room and Yelena could see their names on a lot of them.
It reminds her of Ohio. Yelena stands there and thinks of when she was young. Everything was decorated, the gifts were perfect, and everything is happy.
What if there isn’t anything in the boxes? What if they’re empty, just like they always are?
She knows it’s a possibility. But the thought of it hurts her heart because she trusted these people. They made promises and reassurances and everything had been so nice so far.
Yelena’s mind is telling her that she’s in danger. That she’s going to get hurt and that she needs to stop. Put on a mask. Play along.
She doesn’t realize how long she’s standing in the doorway until the warm weight in her arms disappears and Natasha is suddenly blocking the view she had into the living room.
“What’s wrong, Lenochka?” Natasha questioned softly in Russian, reaching out to cup her face.
Yelena can’t help the flinch that she gives. “It… it feels wrong. It doesn’t feel safe.” She tries to explain. She knows that everybody is waiting for her. She knows that she’s holding Christmas up. But she’s moments away from bolting and she can’t do that with the tracker on.
Natasha pulls her into a hug that is tight and feels stifling but it also makes her feel safe. Yelena burrows against her big sister, curling her fingers into Natasha’s pajama top, and takes a few moments to go over the grounding techniques that Moth had taught her.
When she finally manages to push herself into the living room, Natasha takes a seat on the couch and pulls her into her lap. It’s another reminder of when she was young and in Ohio, when Natasha did the exact same thing to keep Yelena from tearing off the paper on the fake gifts.
Clint was sitting on the floor with Cooper as the toddler slaps his hand against a wrapped gift in his lap over and over again. They were all waiting for her so Yelena forces herself to give a nod and tells them that she was okay.
But then a wrapped gift with her name on it is set into her lap. There’s weight behind the gift, she knows that there is something inside the wrapping paper. But… she can’t make herself open it. Some part of her says that it’s dangerous. She’s going to get into trouble for it.
The couch dips down next to them as Maria moves her spot to sit next to Natasha. “Having a hard time getting started?” She asked Yelena with something akin to understanding on her face. Yelena nods her head. Clint and Laura weren’t staring at her but rather helping Cooper open his first gift, the toddler much more interested in the wrapping paper than the actual gift under it.
“Here,” Maria leans closer, her arm resting on the couch behind Natasha as she shuffles closer and reaches out to take Yelena’s hand. Maria guides Yelena’s finger to hook under the flap of the wrapped gift. “Are you ready?”
Something so small as opening a gift shouldn’t fill Yelena with this much dread. She feels like she’s about to disarm a bomb instead of receiving a gift. Yet she steels herself and nods her head.
Maria pulls her hand and Yelena’s finger breaks the seal on the gift. Yelena can’t help but tense up, her eyes flickering to look up at Clint and Laura.
They’re more invested in making sure that Cooper doesn’t eat the wrapping paper than they are in her opening the gift.
“You’re doing good,” Maria says and Yelena opens up the edge until she had unwrapped one side of the gift so carefully that she hadn’t even torn the paper. “Come on.”
Yelena tips the gift so that it slides out instead of her having to rip the rest of the paper off. She doesn’t get scolded for it so she figures that it’s okay.
It’s a white box with the logo of what she thinks is a phone on the front of it. It’s fancy and high-tech and she’s not even sure if she’s allowed to have it.
“Ooh--” Clint pipes up and Yelena’s head jerks up to look at him. “That’s from me and Laura. We checked with Maria that it was okay.”
“What is it?” Yelena can’t help but question and Clint chuckles as he moves toward them.
“It’s an iPod. It’s for listening to music,” He explains and then opens the white box for her to show a gray square nestled in the box along with a pair of earbuds. “I wasn’t sure what kind of music you like so Laura and I downloaded you a collection.”
Yelena is so invested in the iPod that she nearly forgets there are other gifts until there’s another one set in her lap. It has Natasha’s name on it so she holds it up to her big sister.
Natasha is hesitant to open her as well. Maria does the exact same thing she did with Yelena, grabbing Natasha’s hand and hooking her finger under the edge of the tape.
It’s another iPod, this time in a silvery-blue color, and another set of headphones.
“Clint said that you liked rock music so there’s a lot of that on there,” Laura pipes up. Cooper had gotten through three gifts in the time it took for them to open only one. “Along with a few other options.”
“I’ll finally get you to listen to the Beatles,” Clint grins at her.
It’s Maria’s turn next. She hesitates just as they did. “You didn’t have to get me anything,” Maria tells the Bartons.
“We get you something every year, why would this year be any different?” Clint questioned with a wide smirk. “Open it.”
Maria receives a very nice bottle of scotch that Clint tells her is for the headaches that the agents will no doubt leave.
Yelena receives a few more gifts from Clint and Laura. A case for her iPod, some building thing called LEGOs that Clint seemed excited to help her build, a few comic books, and a sketchbook and colored pencils.
Then she gets a gift from Bobbi. Her eyes widen when the set of batons falls into her lap just like the ones that Bobbi used. “Am I allowed to have this?” She questioned immediately, looking up at Maria.
Maria nods her head. “She talked with me about it. You’re not allowed to use them without supervision but yes, you can keep them.”
Hunter’s gift is the GameBoy games he had promised to dig out of the attic along with a gift card to a gaming store for her to buy more of her own.
Maria’s gift is a thick leather cuff with a floral pattern etched into it. Maria tells her that she hopes it will help her sleep better at night and Yelena realizes that it was meant to replace the handcuffs. She secures it around her wrist, taking comfort in the snug feeling that her handcuffs had along with the feeling of comfort and security.
Carol’s gift is a travel tumbler with the words BABY AGENT on the front of it along with a blanket that has Goose’s face on it. Both make Yelena grin.
Yelena was surprised to receive a joint gift from Coulson and May. She almost doesn’t want to open it because she wasn’t on the best terms with them and for a brief moment her body locked up at the thought that it could be something dangerous or something that could hurt her.
When she does open it with help from Maria, she’s surprised to see that they’re genuine gifts. Coulson gave her Captain America comic books while May gave her more tea that helped with pain on tough days.
Finally, Natasha’s gift lands on her lap. Yelena looks up at her big sister who grins down at her.
It’s a throwing knife, the hilt engraved. Yelena’s thumb runs over the words.
I WILL ALWAYS BE UPSIDE DOWN WITH YOU
“I can keep this too?” Yelena asked Maria who just nods.
Yelena then gets to watch the others open her gifts.
Clint unwraps his almost as carefully as she unwrapped hers despite having torn the paper off of all the other gifts. He lets out a laugh when he holds up a mustard yellow sweater just like the one she had. “It’s so soft!”
Yelena had thought long and hard about what to get Laura. Laura got a star projector that would work much better than the nightlight she had. She gushes over it and Yelena gets embarrassed at how much Laura fusses over her for it.
Yelena had absolutely no idea what to buy a toddler and infant. Cooper received a toy car much like the ones he liked to play with on the kitchen floor. Yelena had selected one she knew he didn’t have. For Lila, she bought a pacifier with a ballerina on it, determined to never let Lila associate ballerinas with anything but ballets.
Maria was very hard to shop for, merely because Yelena wasn’t too sure what to buy her. In the end, she ended up buying a weighted neck wrap so that Maria could have pressure on her shoulders whenever she needed it. Maria wraps Yelena up in a tight hug that makes her feel secure instead of stifled.
Yelena didn’t know what to get Natasha for a long time. She wanted her gift to her big sister to be perfect. She ends up buying a set of action figures that Natasha had back in Ohio. It was the four Ninja Turtles that Natasha used to have save Yelena’s My Little Pony’s from danger. Natasha obviously remembers by the look of fond nostalgia that crosses her face briefly as her thumb runs over her favorite one.
Yelena had forgotten about the stockings until there is one set on her lap. Her name is on the front of it and it’s filled with what looks like candy and chocolate. There were also a few keychains in it.
At the very bottom of the stocking was an envelope. When she opens it, Yelena is greeted with copies of the photos they took in the matching sweaters. She sifts through them until she’s looking down at the first photo she had of her and Natasha after the Red Room. Natasha has her arms wrapped around her and Yelena is staring up at her with adoration in her eyes. Seeing it causes a grin to cross her face.
While Laura makes breakfast, Yelena receives a call from Skye to wish her a merry Christmas. “I have a gift for you.” Skye says excitedly. “I’ll give it to you next time I see you.”
“I have a gift for you too,” Yelena replies. Yelena had worked hard to get Skye’s gift. It was technically contraband since Skye wasn’t supposed to have one but Yelena knew how important it was to Skye. Yelena had been hanging out with the scientists on the helicarrier when one spilled their coffee on their laptop. They were going to throw it away when Yelena offered to transcribe notes for them if they let her have it. Yelena cleaned it up and wiped it before sliding it into her drawer of important things to give to Skye at Christmas.
Bobbi calls her as well, excited to see if Yelena had opened her gift yet. “I’ll show you more moves with them.” Bobbi tells her excitedly. “You need them for when you’re an agent.”
They eat cinnamon rolls for breakfast and they’re delicious.
It was the best Christmas that Yelena had ever had. When she moves her new gifts upstairs that night, she looks at her pile of new loot. It’s more than all the gifts she had ever received.
Yelena falls asleep without handcuffs that night, the leather bracelet snug against her wrist.