closet
Yelena was nervous about telling Natasha about her asexuality and aromanticism. She knew that Natasha would love her no matter what but the Red Room taught them that women were to be subservient to men and their superiors. That only a man and a woman could be together and anything else was unnatural.
Yelena has seen Widows killed for finding comfort in one another. Whether it was holding hands or being intimate to get rid of the touch of men from honeypots or handsy guards, any touch was forbidden and if they were caught then they were shamed and assaulted to ‘fix’ them.
So while Yelena knew that Natasha would love her despite whatever she did, she also wasn’t exactly sure how she would react. Natasha might tell her she was confused or it wasn’t a thing or that Yelena needed to figure things out.
Natasha had seemed so against the thought of being with Maria and Yelena isn’t sure if it was the fact that Yelena thought she had a crush or the fact that Maria was a woman.
So Yelena decides to practice what she was going to say with Bobbi.
Bobbi had been busy lately and Yelena understood that she didn’t have the clearance to know what it was. But Bobbi had ensured that she showed up to train Yelena at their usual times.
Yelena takes the opportunity while they’re taking a break after a rough session where Yelena got a little frustrated because her head was full and she got distracted. The pair are sitting on a bench, Bobbi digging cold bottles of water out of her bag and passing one to Yelena.
“Hey, Bobbi?” Yelena finally spoke when she caught her breath, wiping sweat from her brow as she pressed the cold bottle to her neck.
“Yeah?” Bobbi glances at her, her chest heaving after the intense workout.
“I have to tell you something,” Yelena stalls a little, focusing on the cold feeling on her hot neck. It helps keep her focused and stops her from getting lost in her head.
“Okay…” Bobbi waits for Yelena to gather her thoughts. “What’s up, kiddo?”
Yelena busies herself with taking a sip of the cold water.
“I’m all ears, kiddo,” Bobbi reassures her, clasping her shoulder. “Take your time.”
Yelena can’t tell if her heart is racing from the intense workout she just did or her nerves. “I… uh…” She looks down at the bottle in her hands so she doesn’t have to see Bobbi’s face. “I am asexual and aromantic.”
Bobbi’s quiet so Yelena takes a deep breath, gripping the bottle to stop her shaking hands before she elaborates.
“I… I just don’t want to date people. I don’t want to kiss people or have sex or anything like that,” She explains, taking a carefully measured breath. “I just… I just wanted to tell you…”
Bobbi’s hand squeezed Yelena’s shoulder. “Ah, kiddo. I’m sorry.”
Yelena’s head snaps to peer up at Bobbi in confusion. “What?” Why would Bobbi be sorry? “Why?”
“I kept ragging on you because I assumed you had a crush on Skye. I didn’t realize I was upsetting you until you ran away very frustrated with me,” Bobbi’s arm moves to wrap around Yelena’s shoulder despite the fact they’re both sweaty messes. “Thank you for telling me.”
“Is… is that okay?” Yelena can’t help but question, looking up at Bobbi anxiously.
“Kiddo, you can do and feel whatever you like and I’ll still like you. You can decide whatever you want and I’d still love ya,” Bobbi pulls Yelena into a tight hug that is more comforting than stifling. “I’m so proud of ya.”
Yelena can’t help but grin, hugging Bobbi back tightly before she gets too hot and has to pull away. “Thank you for accepting me.”
“Always.” Bobbi promised, reaching out to ruffle Yelena’s hair. “Let’s go hit the showers.”
Yelena nods and the conversation is over.
Yelena’s still nervous about telling Natasha. Bobbi’s reaction was unexpected but nice but Bobbi didn’t have the same upbringing they did.
Like with Bobbi, Yelena doesn’t quite plan when she tells Natasha. It just happens one night.
Yelena is laying on top of Natasha, absorbing her big sister’s affections. “Nattie?”
“Hmm?” Natasha’s fingers comb through her hair lovingly.
“You said that it was okay to like girls, right?” Yelena questioned, starting at the lie she told.
“I did. Is this about Skye?” Natasha inquired and Yelena shrinks in on herself slightly in shame at having lied to her.
“Kinda… I lied about having a crush on Skye,” She confessed quietly. Natasha’s hand stills and Yelena misses the soothing motion.
“Why?” Natasha looks down at Yelena’s face. Her voice isn’t harsh and that soothes Yelena some.
“I was confused,” Yelena admits. She sits up, straddling Natasha to peer down at her. “Everyone kept thinking I had a crush and I didn’t really understand my feelings.”
“Okay…” Natasha seems confused about where the conversation was going. “What is it you want to tell me?”
Yelena is still sometimes surprised at how well Natasha was able to read her. “I… Carol recently visited… I…” She struggles to find the words so she resorts to Russian. “I am asexual and aromantic. I don’t want to date people or kiss or have sex.” She rushes out quickly, her words slurring together before she quickly blurts out. “Please don’t be mad!”
Natasha sits up abruptly, dumping Yelena into her lap. “I’m not mad.” She said, reaching up to cup Yelena’s face softly. “Look at me.”
Yelena does, peering into Natasha’s soft green eyes as her big sister looks at her with a softness saved only for her to see.
“Nothing you ever do or say will make me leave you. It’s me and you forever,” Natasha leans forward, pressing her forehead against Yelena’s. “Do you want to know something?”
Yelena frowns in confusion. “Yes.”
“I like girls. Boys as well but girls more…” Natasha’s voice is soft and low. “We’re not in the Red Room anymore… I forget that sometimes.”
“Me too…” Yelena confessed, reaching up to wrap her arms around Natasha’s neck. “I love you.”
Natasha lets out a breath of air, kissing Yelena’s forehead. “I adore you, Yelena.”
“Hey, Natasha?” Yelena cups her sister’s face. “I think you’re perfect.”
Natasha inhales sharply at her words before her face softens. “You are perfect, Lenochka.”
Those words lift a weight off of Yelena’s shoulders. She grins at her big sister before shoving her back down to lay on her again. Natasha lets out a chuckle at her movements, snuggling Yelena close to her.