bad guy
Yelena remembers the last time that she cried in front of the General she was fourteen.
She doesn’t even remember what it was for. All she remembers is a lot of screaming, crying, and pain.
When she breaks down in front of the director, she hunches in on herself, raising her hands to cover her head. She violently flinched when hands touched her but she recognizes them after a few moments. Natalia’s hands immediately find the back of her neck and she squeezes slightly, pulling Yelena against her.
“Dismissed--” Fury said and Natalia is pulling Yelena up by her upper arms and out the door before Fury could change his mind.
Bobbi had reappeared and was waiting for them just outside the door. She clearly wasn’t expecting Yelena to be fighting off the sobs that threatened to overtake her and Natalia needing to get them back to their room as quickly as possible.
“What the fuck happened in there?” Bobbi demands in alarm as she steps aside to let them pass. She reaches toward Yelena but Natalia grips her wrist in a bruising grip and hissed at her, daring her to touch Yelena.
Bobbi immediately holds her hands up as a sign of surrender. “Okay. Okay, I won’t touch her.” She said softly. “I can go ahead and clear the way for you?”
Natalia lets her wrist go and gives a curt nod. Bobbi takes off down the hall to scare off any agents standing between them and their bunk.
Yelena still trying to hold herself together. She can’t believe she showed such weakness in front of the director and he hadn’t even hurt her for it. Hadn’t scolded her for being a child or daring to cry. Didn’t even threaten to give her something to cry about.
As soon as they cross the threshold into their bunk, Yelena breaks. Her knees give out beneath her and she descends into pitiful sobs. Natalia immediately falls to her knees beside her and pulls her against her tightly.
Yelena clings to her big sister. “I’m sorry--” She chokes out because while she doesn’t regret protecting herself and the others, she’s sorry that she got in so much trouble for it and jeopardized the life for them that Natalia had worked so hard to build.
“Shh, I’m not upset,” Natalia croons softly, cupping Yelena’s head to her chest. “Let it all out. Nobody will punish you for crying here.”
Yelena cries until she can’t cry anymore. She cries until her eyes hurt and her mouth is dry from gasping for air.
Natalia just holds her, gently rocking her side to side and whispering soft reassurances in Russian.
Yelena focuses on her sister and the feeling of fingers gently sliding through her hair. She doesn't know why she’s so overwhelmed but it’s like everything is hitting her at once and she can’t stop it.
She broke the rules and all she got was sent to her room. But now she has to see Damian three times a week and she can barely handle seeing him once a week.
The Director's words bounce around in her head. Until she was proven to be telling the truth they’d have to treat her like she was lying. Yelena knows that things usually aren’t fair but Yelena felt like they were accusing her.
Did they think she wanted to hurt that Widow? That she wanted to kill that girl? Yelena had no choice. It was not only for her safety but for SHIELD and Skye’s as well.
By the time Yelena is done with her breakdown, she’s exhausted. She usually kept her emotions under a tight leash but they just went wild that day for some reason. Maybe it was the appearance of Skye or maybe it was the fact that Natalia was leaving once again tomorrow to continue whatever long-term mission she was doing.
Yelena wants to be a little childish and put her foot down and demand that Natalia can’t leave her. She needs Natalia. She needs her big sister there while she does her punishment.
Alas, she is not a little child. She is far too old to be throwing temper tantrums over stupid silly things like being confined to her room or her sister leaving her.
She was seventeen, not seven. The way she’s acting is unacceptable and if she was in the Red Room they would have beat her until she couldn’t move.
Yelena doesn’t exactly remember when she fell asleep. One moment she was curled up in Natalia's lap with her head pressed against her big sister’s chest, the next she was staring up at the ceiling in bed as someone knocked on their door.
Natalia peels away from Yelena to answer it and Yelena pulls the covers up over her head, curling into a tight ball as the events of the afternoon came back to her.
“Yelena?” Natalia calls out and Yelena pushes the covers back to look at her. Bobbi was there with two trays of food for their dinner. Yelena had honestly expected them to forget about feeding her and see how long she could hold out before she broke the rules of her punishment for food.
“Would you be okay if Bobbi sat with you while I talked to Maria?” Natalia asked Yelena in Arabic. It was one of the few languages that the sisters could use that none of their immediate friends could understand.
Yelena glances at Bobbi before letting out a hesitant nod. She trusted Bobbi almost as much as she trusted Natalia.
Natalia tells Bobbi she’ll be back in a few moments and leaves the room. Yelena watches as her posture straightens into determination as she strides down the hall before the bunk door slides shut.
“I heard you had a rough day, kiddo,” Bobbi claims Natalia’s spot on the bed. “Here, Clint said you’d like this.” Bobbi pulls out a foil packet of Pop-tarts. “He said you liked them.”
Yelena stares down at the offered treat like it was a trick. She was being punished, why would give Bobbi a treat to give to her? “What do you want for it?”
“Nothing. Clint wanted you to have it,” Bobbi said, a small frown crossing her face. “You don’t have to earn this.”
“But I was bad. I’m being punished because I’m bad,” Yelena points out, folding her arms.
“You’re not bad. You’re being punished because you broke the rules,” Bobbi corrects and Yelena wrinkles her nose, not seeing the difference.
“That’s what I said,” She grumbles quietly.
“No. You said you’re being punished because you’re bad. You’re not bad, Yelena,” Bobbi sets the packet of Pop-tarts down on one of the trays. “I don’t know exactly what happened but you made a choice and that broke the rules. But you are still a good person, Yelena. You just made a bad choice.”
Yelena mulls over Bobbi’s words for a few moments before slowly shaking her head. “I’m not a good person.” She disagrees quietly. “I’m the best child assassin.”
Bobbi lets out a soft sigh and reached out to wrap an arm around Yelena’s shoulders. “Do you want to know how I know you’re not a bad person?” She questioned. Yelena obviously wanted to know so she nodded her head. “Because you’re here. You are atoning for all the bad you’ve done. You’ll help people and make a difference when you’re an agent.”
“I can be an agent?” Yelena didn’t know. She knew they were making Natalia an agent as soon as she officially defected but Yelena thought she was just there to make Natalia stay.
“I’m pretty sure as soon as you’re eighteen then you’ll be recruited,” Bobbi said, giving Yelena a small squeeze. “But we’ll talk about that later. You’re not a bad person, kiddo. Do you understand?”
Yelena didn’t really understand but she didn’t want to make Bobbi frustrated trying to explain so she nods her head. If Bobbi knows she was lying, she doesn’t point it out.
“I know what’ll make you feel better,” Bobbi shifts and pulls her phone out of her pocket.
Yelena can’t help but let out an excited grin. “Dog videos?”
“Dog videos.” Bobbi agrees, pulling up a video.