i won't let go of your hand

Marvel Cinematic Universe The Avengers (Marvel Movies) Black Widow (Movie 2021) Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
G
i won't let go of your hand
author
Summary
Yelena Belova was seventeen when her sister broke her out of the Red Room. She was seventeen when her sister brings home the man sent to kill her. She was seventeen when she became the youngest SHIELD agent known to date. (used to be "i was held in chains, but now i'm free")>>Now with German translation!<<
Note
Natasha is 22Yelena is 17Words in italics is RussianThank you so much to Jeylee for the German translation! Find it here:German Translation
All Chapters Forward

skynet

Yelena’s worked with the rookies plenty and she’s gotten along with them for the most part ever since Fury shut down any harassment that they were showing her. Still, Yelena would prefer working with Bobbi or even May over the rookies. 

 

Unfortunately, Bobbi had to go do something with Hunter. Classified as always and it left Yelena with the rookies since Maria was busy too. 

 

She’s gotten into the habit of showering after each session so she doesn’t think twice to shower in the locker room after she finishes. Nudity never really bothered her. She had been so desensitized to the nudity of others as well as her own body that she doesn’t really think twice when changing. 

 

She picks up on the murmurs of “holy shit” and “jesus christ” from a few of the other young rookies. 

 

She feels self-conscious suddenly. It’s foolish but she quickly tugs her shirt on to hide her body when it’s obvious that they’re referring to the scars on her. 

 

Yelena quickly leaves the locker room and moves to try and peek in and see if Maria was done with whatever had her so busy. 

 

Unfortunately, it was an all-hands-on-deck type of situation. Agents are running to and fro and at the center of the chaos were Fury and Maria, murmuring to each other as they stare up at the screen. 

 

Yelena wasn’t stopped when she slides into the room so she makes her way toward Maria, glancing up at the screen. She’d leave if someone ordered her to but nobody really paid her any mind. 

 

Fury notices her first, pausing and glancing at her. “You shouldn’t be here.” He comments and Yelena shrugs slightly, turning to leave but dares to ask him. 

 

“What’s going on?” She glanced up at the screen. 

 

“A hack,” Fury replies and Maria glances at him with slight surprise, as if she couldn’t believe he was sharing the information with Yelena. “The hacker has made it past our defenses once before and they’re doing it again.” 

 

“What’s their handle?” Yelena asked, peering over at the agents scrambling to block the hacker out. 

 

“Skynet.” Fury mumbles and Yelena frowns slightly. 

 

“They usually don’t get caught,” Yelena comments, and two heads jerk to look down at her. 

 

“You know them?” Maria questioned, a tinge of hope in her tone. “Are they from the Red Room?” 

 

“I’ve never actually met them before but I’ve worked with them a few times. Information for information. I could complete my hits faster and in return I’d get them information they were seeking out,” Yelena shrugs slightly, reaching up to pull her damp hair back out of her face. 

 

“Do you know where we can find them?” Fury asked her and Yelena shakes her head before pausing. 

 

“I… might be able to set something up…” Yelena admits before looking up at them. “But I’m not betraying them if you’re gonna arrest them.” She’d make that clear. “I owe them a lot.” 

 

“Then can you convince them to pull out of our systems?” Maria questioned, offering out her tablet. 

 

Yelena gestures to the electronic band still wrapped around her ankle. “I’m not allowed.” She’d get booted from the system immediately if she tried with the nanny bracelet still intact. 

 

Maria lets out a sharp sigh, glancing at Fury before kneeling and releasing Yelena’s ankle from the monitor and then shoving her tablet into Yelena’s hands. 

 

Yelena’s not good at hacking but Skynet had shown her a thing or two and she learned their certain way of hacking. She intercepts them with a message and a chat log pops up onto the screen. 

 

Skynet: No way

Skynet: It can’t b u

Skynet: R they holding u hostage? 

SHIELD: No. They offered asylum

Skynet: Prove it’s u

Skynet: What was ur handle? 

SHIELD: Tiny_Dancer

Skynet: I can’t st0p n0w

Tiny_Dancer: I wanna meet up

Skynet: …

Skynet: Dude, sus much? 

Tiny_Dancer: It will be like old times

Tiny_Dancer: Info for info

Skynet: I doubt u can get me wat i’m looking 4

Skynet: It’s all REDACTED

Tiny_Dancer: I have my contacts like you have yours

Tiny_Dancer: I still owe you for Jamaica

Tiny_Dancer: You just gotta pull out of the system now and stay out

Skynet: Fair

Skynet: Fine. 

Skynet: I contr0l the wh0le thing

Skynet: If I think ur trying to screw me, we r done

Skynet: Capiche? 

Tiny_Dancer: Deals a deal

Skynet: I’ll send the deets 

Skynet: Until then Tiny_Dancer

Skynet: …

Skynet: Glad u got out

 

The hacker pulls from the system and Yelena looks up at the faces of Fury and Maria before holding the tablet back out. “Here…” She hesitates when Maria takes her tablet back. “Will you let me go like I promised? I didn’t lie, did I?” Skynet would surely run if Yelena had lied, and breaking ties with them wasn’t something Yelena wanted. 

 

“You’ll take Morse,” Fury spoke. 

 

“Sir, she’s not an agent. She’s not qualified--” Maria starts but Fury holds a hand up to quiet her. 

 

“You will be debriefed on how to handle yourself and the situation when we have more information,” Fury then points toward the door. “Now, out with you.” 

 

Yelena glances between the two before leaving the room. 

 


 

Yelena hates her appointments with Damian. She usually doesn’t talk and she can tell that he’s getting impatient with her. 

 

It’s only her third session of silence when he finally snaps at her. “You’re acting like a child.” 

 

Yelena doesn’t expect the snap and recoils slightly, glancing up at him. 

 

“You’ll have to get over your period of silence sooner or later. Even your sister is talking more than you,” He tells her and Yelena blinks in surprise. 

 

“She is?” How would he know? He wasn’t her therapist, he was Yelena’s. 

 

“So you need to get over whatever childish ploy you’re pulling and start talking before I tell the commander that you’re misbehaving,” He threatens, tapping his pen against his notepad. 

 

Can he do that? Yelena’s not breaking any rules, not that she knows of. But Damian had more authority than her, surely Maria would listen to him instead of her. “Don’t tell Maria.” Maria was already kinda upset with her for the whole Skynet situation.

 

His face softens but there’s still a hint of irritation in his eyes. “I won’t if you cooperate.” 

 

He then starts asking questions again. Yelena wants to be good. She wants to answer them but it’s like the words get stuck in her throat and she doesn’t know how to explain it in English. 

 

Yelena tries to focus on any place but him. She stares at the action figures on his shelf as her fingers nervously fiddle with the zipper on her vest. He keeps asking about where she came from and the Red Room and Yelena doesn’t want to answer those questions. 

 

Talking about the Red Room is hard. She doesn’t want to think about it. 

 

Then he asks about her triggers and her fears and Yelena quiets down again for the rest of the session. She’s not telling him about that. Not even Natalia knows all of that and Natalia was her sister. 

 

She exits her session, exhausted and tense. Bobbi’s waiting for her, frowning when Yelena quietly asks her for pressure. Bobbi’s hand slides up to brace the back of her neck, gently squeezing. “You okay?” Bobbi questioned softly. 

 

“I’m fine.” Yelena murmurs because the pamphlets Maria gave her said that she might be exhausted and emotional after her sessions. “Is Natalia still in her session?” 

 

Natalia had only made it back a few hours before the planned appointment.

 

“Yeah. Do you want to wait?” Bobbi asked and Yelena nods. The chairs aren’t big enough for Yelena to scoot close together so Bobbi can keep a comfortable grip on her. 

 

The halls are empty and nobody would be bothering them except perhaps the small circle of people that Natalia and Yelena had begrudgingly begun to trust. 

 

Yelena sits on Bobbi’s lap. Bobbi stiffens at first and Yelena moves to pull away, afraid she had overstepped but Bobbi’s grip on her neck shifts, and she gives a gentle squeeze, reassuring Yelena that it was okay. 

 

The list of people Yelena completely trusted with gripping the back of her neck was now two. 

 

Natalia Romanov and Bobbi Morse. 

Forward
Sign in to leave a review.