meltdown
Bobbi is both glad and upset that Yelena chose her to stand in with her for her deprogramming.
Bobbi watches as they strap Yelena into a chair, and although she understands the need for the restraints, Yelena is terrified. They can’t get the last restraint secured over Yelena’s head because she keeps flinching away.
Bobbi finally steps forward, gently gripping her rookie’s jaw to guide her head into place to secure the final strap. Yelena’s breathing is irregular and her eyes peer up at Bobbi, wide with fear.
It takes a lot for Bobbi to force herself to step back from Yelena and watch as they begin.
Things seem to be going well until Yelena’s slow, robotic answers to their questions fade to choppy English before tapering off into Russian.
Then they find a trigger and Yelena screams.
Nobody expects it and they all flinch as Yelena screams in fear, yanking on her restraints as she yells in Russian too quickly for Bobbi to translate. It’s half-finished thoughts and pleas.
Natalia jerks forward and Bobbi watches as Maria quickly loops her arms around Natalia’s waist to keep her in place, murmuring something into the redhead’s ear.
Natalia looks absolutely frantic, twisting in Maria’s arms. Bobbi knows that Natalia could easily get out of her grip if she chose to but Natalia doesn’t, her hands gripping onto Maria’s arms around her waist.
It gets to the point that Yelena starts to cry out for Natalia and Maria has to haul Natalia out of the room before she breaks protocol to get to her sister.
Bobbi is left, listening to Yelena screaming for her parents and her sister in Russian.
Then they finish and Yelena still isn’t quite fully there. She’s blinking sluggishly, frowning up at Bobbi when the older woman lets her out of the restraints.
Bobbi goes to her room that night and cries in Hunter’s arms because watching the teenager she’d mentored for months scream like that was horrible.
But Bobbi pulls herself together and shows up the next day, having expected things to get better. Yelena didn’t scream this time but she did cry out and yell, once again going from English to choppy English into full-blown Russian.
Each day, Bobbi would watch Maria rest her hand on some part of Natalia to give her comfort and keep her in place.
The sixth day, the doctors hit something that leaves Yelena even more frantic than the first day. The teenager howls like she’s in pain, yanking at the restraints so hard that Bobbi’s worried she’ll break her wrist.
She’s screaming at the doctors to not touch her and pleading that she’ll be good. None of the doctors understand her Russian pleading.
Bobbi swallows hard because Yelena’s sobbing so hard that she’s choking for air. She doesn’t know how much longer she can watch.
Finally, Natalia wiggles in Maria’s hold. “Stop it! Please, Maria, stop it!”
Bobbi turns to look at the deputy director who barely hesitates after Natalia spoke before letting the woman go. “Stop.” Maria spoke and the doctors froze.
Natalia steps forward and undoes the forehead strap. Bobbi shuffles closer to Maria to watch as Natalia attempts to calm Yelena down.
Yelena’s not in the present. She’s still living in the past, drowning in memories that nobody but her can see.
As soon as Natalia undoes the restraints, Yelena shoves herself out of her chair, onto her knees, and proceeds to kiss Natalia’s thigh, her hands reaching for Natalia’s waistband.
Bobbi’s fingers curl into fists as she immediately looks away. This feels way too private for her to be witnessing. Natalia slaps Yelena’s hands away, crouching in front of her and grabbing the back of her neck to stop her advancements.
Yelena folds in on herself, waiting patiently for Natalia to do something.
“Everybody but Natalia and Yelena, out,” Maria orders. The doctors don’t hesitate to file out. Bobbi pauses, glancing over at where Natalia was pinning Yelena close to her. “You too, Morse.”
Bobbi glances at Maria before she leaves as well.
Bobbi is very surprised when Maria shows up to get her the next morning for their next session. “Are you kidding me? The kid didn’t even know where she was yesterday!”
Maria levels her with a stare. “We have to finish.”
“You’re going to fuck her head up,” Bobbi said but yanks her uniform on to follow Maria to the same room.
Natalia was already there, holding Yelena close to her. Yelena looked half-asleep, dead on her feet as she just leaned against Natalia.
“Okay,” Maria said. “Everyone into place.”
Yelena isn’t even aware that Maria spoke until Natalia is prodding her slightly toward the chair. Yelena shuffles forward slowly, staring at the chair for a few moments before she obediently lowers herself into it, staring straight ahead.
Bobbi doesn’t think that they should be doing this. She does not agree with proceeding because the teenager in the chair is moving like she’s still not there.
Natalia lingers by the chair, her hand on Yelena’s shoulder for as long as she can before Maria pulls her back.
This time, Yelena doesn’t answer the doctor's prompts. She doesn’t do anything but stare straight ahead.
Bobbi’s the one that notices Yelena digging her nails into her palms so hard that she’s bleeding on the armrests. “She’s hurting herself.”
Natalia moves forward just as one of the doctors says a supposed trigger word.
Then there’s the Russian mumbling from Yelena.
“I am a widow. I am made of marble. I will be good. I will be obedient. I am useful.” She mutters and Natalia grabs Yelena’s hand to stop her.
“Commander, we need to stop,” Bobbi holds firm, twisting to look at Maria.
“We’re almost there,” Maria replies, stepping forward to set a hand onto Natalia’s shoulder.
Yelena’s eyes flicker down to look at Natalia’s hands when they touch her and Yelena sees the blood on her hands, twisting her wrists to flash the jagged indents in her palm.
“I killed them.” Yelena whispers, a morbid fascination on her face as she stares at her bloodied hands. “I am the General’s good little girl. I am the winner. I am a Widow.”
Yelena flexes her fingers, her breathing picking up. “I killed them. I killed them all. I killed them for him. I killed them to be good. I killed them to prove I’m useful.”
Yelena’s hands shake as her breathing speeds up and she spirals.
“Maria, that’s enough!” Bobbi finally raised her voice, using Maria’s first name to get her attention.
Maria looked over at her. Bobbi knew Maria was a stickler for the rules and wanted to follow protocol but this was going too far. Yelena was not going to accomplish anything while in the midst of a panic attack.
Maria trusted Bobbi’s opinion so she lets out a curt nod. “Fine. We’re finished for today.”
“But--” One of the doctors starts to protest.
“I said dismissed!” Maria tells him and the doctor turns to leave.
Maria helps Natalia undo the straps. Yelena flinches violently away from Natalia’s hands when she tries to touch her.
“Don’t hurt me. Please don’t hurt me. I’ll be good--” Yelena’s squirming, anxious energy buzzing just under her skin.
“Yelena, look at me. It’s Natalia. You’re safe,” Natalia whispers to Yelena.
Bobbi moves into Yelena’s view. “You’re not in the Red Room. You’re at SHIELD.” Bobbi replies. Her Russian is a little rusty because she hadn’t had to speak it in a while but she manages to catch both Natalia and Yelena’s attention. “It’s Bobbi. Maria’s here too.”
Yelena’s chest is still heaving. “Need to dance--” Yelena whimpers out.
Bobbi helps Natalia haul Yelena up to her feet. Natalia starts to guide Yelena through sets.
Bobbi’s seen Yelena dance before and she always looked graceful and fluid. Yelena’s movements now look jerky and wrong. Like Yelena can’t relax. There’s still blood on her hands and her hands are still shaking.
Bobbi ducks out of the room to grab some water and something to clean and patch Yelena’s hands up with.
When she returns, the room is empty.
Bobbi finds them in the gym. Clint is guarding the door, worry on his face. “Are they in there?”
“She’s not looking good,” Clint said quietly. “Coulson is in there trying to mediate. They’re sparring.”
Bobbi pushes past Clint into the gym. Natalia and Yelena are sparring on the mats.
At least, Yelena is sloppily blocking each move. Natalia urges and coaxed but Yelena is just frustrated with each retaliation. Coulson is talking with Maria animatedly on the side, concern on his face as he gestures at the two sisters on the mats.
“It’s not working!” Yelena’s sudden outburst startles the room to quiet as Yelena bursts into tears. “I can’t make it stop! I see them in my head and there’s blood and I can’t calm down--”
Natalia reached out and grips the back of Yelena’s neck. The teenager flops against her, any progress they had made from dancing and sparring gone as she falls into breathless gasps as she cries.
“No more, Nattie! No more!” Yelena pleads between heaving gasps that leave her choking.
Bobbi moves toward them, pausing when Natalia pins her under her stare, daring her to take another step forward.
“I have water for her to drink and wipes and bandages for her hands,” Bobbi explained, holding the items in her hands up.
Natalia grits her teeth before giving Bobbi a curt nod, signaling Bobbi that she can continue her approach.
Bobbi approaches them as Natalia lowers herself to the floor with Yelena. The teenager is sobbing harshly, her face tucked against Natalia’s shoulders as her frame shakes. Bobbi kneels in front of them, pulling one of the wipes from the package, and gently grasped Yelena’s forearm.
Yelena jolts at the sudden touch and Bobbi murmurs softly in Russian to her, telling her that it’s okay. Natalia holds Yelena close, her fingers drawing letters against Yelena’s skin.
Bobbi focuses on wiping the blood from Yelena’s hands, ignoring Maria and Coulson off to the side. She slowly bandages Yelena’s hand, shifting to clean the other one.
Natalia’s humming quietly and Bobbi recognizes the melody but can’t quite place the song.
“I’m sorry,” Bobbi spoke up in English as looks up at Natalia when she finished bandaging Yelena’s other hand. “I thought today was pushing it too far.”
“They said they couldn’t take a break. That it would make the progress revert,” Natalia spoke in quiet Russian, barely audible over Yelena’s sobbing. “I didn’t know you spoke Russian.”
“I dabble in a bit of everything. Languages are one of my expertise. They don’t all me Mockingbird for nothing,” Bobbi said, her gaze falling onto Yelena. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Coulson mentioned sedation,” Natalia comments, her hand stroking Yelena’s hair. “Don’t let them sedate her.”
Bobbi agreed that sedation was probably the worse method of calming Yelena down.
At this point, the poor kid just needed to cry it out.
Bobbi couldn’t imagine how emotionally taxing the past week had been on the two girls. It was estimated that Yelena had another week of deprogramming after this and Bobbi dreaded to think of what was coming.
Bobbi stands guard in front of the sisters when there was talk of sedation. She won’t let anybody near the two, listening as Yelena’s sobs slowly taper off into hiccuping whimpers.
Bobbi has a serious talk with Maria the next day in her office.
Maria lets Bobbi scream at her about pushing them too far before replying. “I trust you to step in when the lines get blurred and I overstep.” Maria spoke and that shut down any further argument on Bobbi’s behalf.
The sisters get the next day to rest. Yelena sleeps the whole day and Bobbi watches Clint balance three trays on his arms as he disappears to their room during meals.
They start up Yelena’s deprogramming the day after that. They hook up a heart monitor this time and as soon as her pule skyrockets, the doctors give her a few moments to gather herself before continuing.
There are no more incidents other than Yelena crying out and yelling a few more times.
By the time the deprogramming of Yelena Belova is officially declared, the teenager looks like she hadn’t slept in a weak, a haunted look on her face and bags under her eyes as she shuffles forward into her sister’s arms.
Bobbi can only imagine just how tough Natalia’s was going to be.