restrained
When Yelena becomes aware of what was going on around her, she started to panic and struggle again.
There is a mask on her face and tube in her arm and Yelena needs out.
“Woah, hey,” Clint was at her side, a comic book clutched in his fingers. “It’s okay. You’re safe.”
“Natalia? Where’s my sister?” Yelena demands, ignoring Clint as she sits up and moves to rip the mask from her face.
“She’s with Maria. She’s getting you a change of clothes from your room,” Clint said, not stopping Yelena as the teenager peels the tape off her arm and slides the needle out with a familiarity that came easy to her.
Yelena shoves the blankets off of her. “I need--”
“Woah!” Clint holds out his hands to stop her from getting up. “You’re still recovering. You had pneumonia. Your lungs are compromised at the moment.”
“I…” Yelena looks around the room. Her eyes fall on May sitting in the chair in the corner. “Why are you here?”
“You had me down as your emergency contact,” May replies, her eyes following Yelena’s form as the teenager tried to stand.
Yelena lets out a grunt before falling into a barking coughing fit. “I didn’t think you’d come…” She admits between coughs.
May frowns. “Despite my morals, I’d come if you need me.”
“How would you know that I need you if you flee the room every time I enter?” Yelena demands, letting Clint set a hand onto her shoulder to guide her to sit back on the bed.
“You’re right…” May acknowledges. Yelena glances at her in surprise. “I haven’t been fair with you. If you allow me, I’ll tell you about why I don’t train children.”
“Isn’t it because of your morals?” Yelena frowns.
“Among other things. When you get out of here, come find me and we’ll talk.” May tells her and Yelena’s hesitant but finds herself nodding.
She’d missed May.
Natalia enters with a set of clothes for Yelena, pausing briefly in the doorway when she sees Yelena sitting up before moving toward her, dropping the clothes onto the bed and cupping Yelena’s face. “Status report?”
Yelena pushes Natalia’s hands off of her. “I’m fine. But you--” Yelena shoves a finger at her. “You held me down!”
“Yelena--” Natalia starts but Yelena shakes her head.
“You knew what they did to me and you still held me down!” Yelena pushes herself to her feet, glaring at Clint when he tries to get her to sit down again. “You held me down! You held me down!”
“I’m sorry!” Natalia raised her voice but Yelena shakes her head, repeating the same four words again and again.
“You held me down!” Yelena falls into a harsh coughing fit. She shoves Natalia away when she reaches toward her. “Get out!”
“Yelena, please…” Natalia’s voice cracks but Yelena was nothing if not stubborn.
Yelena shoves a finger at May. “You held me down. You get out too!”
Yelena looks up at Clint and he holds his hands up, not needing her to include him as well. He grabs his comic book and exits, passing by Maria Hill still standing in the doorway. May follows after him a few moments later.
“Please, little sister…” Natalia whispers in Russian.
“Go away…” Yelena tells her. “I don’t wanna talk to you right now.”
“I can’t leave you alone…” Natalia starts but Maria steps forward.
“I’ll be here,” Maria said and Natalia glanced at her. “Go get some air.”
Natalia swallows hard, glancing at Yelena, and lets her little sister see the guilt on her face.
Yelena’s too angry and still sick enough that at the moment she didn’t care. She looks away and focuses on a spot on the wall, a hollow pit in her stomach as the echo of a plea rests on the tip of her tongue.
She doesn’t want to be in medical without her sister. But she also can’t stand to look at her after what she did.
Natalia looks at Maria, some sort of understanding passes between them, and Natalia leaves.
Maria enters the room, taking a seat on the chair that Clint had been occupying next to the bed. “You can sit down now.”
Yelena takes a seat back on the bed, dragging air into her weak lungs. “Should I be surprised you haven’t killed me yet?”
Maria raised an eyebrow at her. “Killed you for what?”
Yelena gestured to herself. “Being sick.”
Maria lets out a chuckle before realizing that Yelena was serious. “Is that what they did in the Red Room? Killed you when you got ill?”
“Going to medical was a death sentence. Getting ill meant that they’d subject you to experiments they knew you wouldn’t survive just to see the results,” Yelena coughs into the corner of her arm, her breathing slightly wheezy.
“Is that why you’re afraid of medical?” Maria questioned and Yelena’s eyes flicker to look at her.
“I’m not afraid!” Yelena snaps. “I’m wary because going to medical means that I get hurt.”
Maria eyes her for a few moments before nodding. “I appreciate you confiding this with me.”
Yelena huffs, peering down at her hands. “Natalia knows I don’t like medical. She knows that I don’t like getting held down.”
It takes a few moments for Maria to ask her question. “What happened when you were held down?”
Yelena opens her mouth to snap at her and tell her own business but part of her mind harshly reminds her that this was a superior. “Bad things…” She replies quietly instead.
Maria gestures at Yelena’s wrists. “You have bruising on your wrists.”
Yelena realizes that she’s not wearing her hoodie and that her arms were bare. “So?” She shoots back defensively.
“The bruising is fresh. It looks like someone restrained you. Zipties… duct tape… handcuffs?” Maria guesses. “Are the recruits still hurting you?”
Yelena swallows hard, looking down at her bruised wrists. “No.”
“Is someone hurting you?” Maria then asked and Yelena shakes her head. “You can tell me, Yelena. It’s okay.”
“I did it.” Yelena snaps at her, still groggy as she shrugs off the effects of the sedation. Her verbal filter was very obviously down and she was speaking more than she usually would. She twists her head to let out a wet cough.
“You did that to yourself?” Maria repeats, a frown on her face as she stared at Yelena’s wrists.
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Yelena interrupts, shifting to lay back down on the bed and, in a very childish move, pulling the blanket over her head.
“Okay. That’s fine,” Maria conceded and Yelena does have to admit to herself that she’s surprised when Maria drops the subject. “Do you want to watch a movie? You liked watching the ones with Clint, right?”
Yelena’s quiet but listening.
“You know, as long as you don’t tell Fury, we can watch Netflix on my tablet,” Maria lets out a hum.
Yelena does poke her head out of the blankets and Maria smiles at her.
“Do you want to pick what we watch?” Maria scoots closer, holding the tablet out after opening the app.
Yelena looks down at the tablet, unsure if this was some sort of test. This was the Deputy Director’s tablet and Yelena could very easily steal information with only a few seconds of the tablet in her hands.
Yelena reaches out slightly. She’d never used the app before and is unsure of how to navigate it.
Maria shows her how to pull up the section of children’s movies and Yelena can scroll through the selection of movies.
She picks one that captures her interest and Maria scoots closer as she sets the tablet up. Yelena’s close enough to feel Maria’s warmth from where she sat.
Yelena focuses on the screen, watching as the movie started up.
Bobbi enters the room about halfway through the movie. Yelena sits up, shoving a finger at the door. “Get out.”
Bobbi pauses, clearly confused as she frowns. “What?”
“Get out.” Yelena repeats.
Yelena glances at Maria.
“You heard her,” Maria comments, pausing the movie. “You’re not needed here at the moment, Agent Morse.”
Bobbi paused before nodding and turns on her foot, leaving the room.
Maria moves to play the movie but Yelena spoke as her finger hovered over the play button. “It always hurt when they held me down.”
Maria’s eyes flicker to look up at Yelena, quiet as she lets Yelena decide whether to say more.
“Maybe I was getting punished. Maybe I was getting tested on…” Yelena draws in a ragged breath. “Sometimes it was for the General. That hurt the worst…”
Maria’s frowning, her brow knitted together in deep thought. “What did the General do?”
“To me or in general?” Yelena focuses on a loose thread on her blanket.
“In general,” Maria replies and Yelena lets out a shaky breath.
“He took away little girl’s free wills,” Yelena said quietly.
“...and to you?” Maria treads carefully. Yelena was mute for a few moments before shaking her head.
“He made me be his good little girl… he was the one that took away that last bit of innocence I had left…” Yelena whispers before reaching out and playing the movie before Maria can ask any more questions.
Maria takes the hint and leans against the bed to continue watching. Her arm brushes against Yelena’s.
Yelena doesn’t jerk away from the contact.