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Yelena hates doctors. She hates white coats, latex gloves, needles, restraints, the scent of antiseptic, and the sight of blood.
She knows that Natalia feels similarly.
Medical was a bad place. The last time Yelena was taken to medical without being ill she lost a part of her body and gained three small scars on her abdomen.
May leads Yelena to Maria’s office instead of their usual training room. Yelena follows, unsettled at the abrupt change in her schedule.
Natalia is there with Coulson and Maria sets the sheets of paper they had filled out when they had first arrived at SHIELD in front of them.
“Your medical histories left a lot out,” Maria comments. “You’ll be getting physicals in medical today.”
Yelena’s heart skipped a beat and she can spot Natalia tense up out of the corner of her eye.
“We’ll need typical stuff. We’ll need some blood and imprints of your teeth to identify your body should it come down to it--” Maria continues, glancing up at them. “I don’t know how medical was done where you came from but I’ve brought Coulson and May--”
It takes a moment for the words to sink in but once it did Yelena turned on her foot and bolted. She could feel Natalia right on her heels.
Yelena didn’t know the part of the ship they were on very well but Natalia grabbed Yelena’s shirt and tugged her down some hallways.
They leap over objects, slipping between crowds and ducking around corners.
Natalia yanks her into one of the rooms and quickly cups her hands to give Yelena a boost up to the vents. Yelena hauls herself up, reaching down to pull Natalia up after her.
It’s useless to run. There are still trackers on them but all Yelena can think about at that moment was how much it was going to hurt when they’re caught.
There’s a small space with a little nest of blankets in the vents. “It’s Barton’s,” Natalia explains.
“He’ll find us here!” Yelena hissed at her in panic, moving to keep going through the vents but Natalia wraps a hand around Yelena’s ankle and pulls her back.
“He won’t force us out--” Natalia said but the flicker of uncertainty on her face didn’t soothe Yelena.
Yelena curls up in the corner, pressing herself against the wall. Natalia sits in front of her and the two of them catch their breaths.
It takes Clint a suspiciously long amount of time for him to finally shimmy his way into the same space as them. “My favorite spiders.” He greets. “Did I miss the invite for the party in the mail?”
The two stare at him and Natalia pressed against Yelena in the corner to protect her.
Clint stares at them before the joking tone faded. “What’s wrong? Coulson said you bolted.”
Clint moves toward them, outstretching a hand. “Come on. Let’s get out of here--” Clint is cut off by Natalia sending a hard kick at him, knocking him backward. Natalia shoves Yelena out of the corner and Yelena quickly continues her way down the vents.
Yelena quickly realized that Natalia wasn’t following her and swallowed hard before shaking her head.
She couldn’t go back. Natalia would kick her ass if Yelena turned around and got caught.
Yelena continues until she reaches a dead end and has no choice but to slip out of the vents and land onto the carpeted floor in one of the empty offices.
She doesn’t know what part of the ship she’s on. Her mental map got turned around somewhere in the vents.
Yelena slips out of the room and searches for another spot to slip into.
Arms wrapped around her and Yelena twists in panic. “No! Let go of me!”
“Hey, shh. It’s okay. It’s me. Belova. Belova, look at me. Yelena--” May is trying to pin Yelena’s arms down and keep her from lashing out.
“No! Let go of me! Natalia!” Yelena wails out, gripped with nothing but fear. The genuine panic in her tone causes May to loosen her grip enough for Yelena to slip free.
Yelena clambers to her feet and down the hallway once again. She doesn’t know where she’s going except away from May.
Maria steps into her path and Yelena skids to a stop, moving to whirl around but May appears and she’s blocked between the two agents.
“Yelena, it’s okay--” Maria holds her hand out. “You need to calm down before you hurt yourself or someone else.”
“I won’t let you do this!” Yelena snaps at them, her eyes searching for a weapon to defend herself with.
“I know you’re upset right now but I can’t understand you when you speak Russian,” Maria tells her and Yelena backs up a step.
“I didn’t do anything wrong! I was good and I followed the rules!” Yelena defends, her back pressed up against a door. “I was good!”
“You were good,” May replies back, her Russian rusty and accent bad. Maria glances at her in surprise before looking back at Yelena. “You were good.”
“Then why are you sending me to medical? I was good. I did everything you asked. I didn’t break any rules…” Yelena’s fingers find the doorknob of the door she was pressed against and falls back into the empty office when she twists it. Maria darts forward to prevent Yelena from locking herself in.
Yelena back up until she’s pressed in the corner where she swipes a letter opener from the desk she passes, gripping it tightly. Maria and May exchange glances at the weapon now in Yelena’s possession.
“Yelena…” May holds her hand out, her palm upturned. “Give me the letter opener.”
Yelena shakes her head, clutching it closer. “Stay back!” She can’t muffle the whine that escapes her lips. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
May moves to crouch in front of her. “I’m not going to hurt you, Yelena. What’s our first rule when you’re with me, hmm?”
Yelena watches May warily. “I… I get to tap out. And if I don’t feel safe then I have to tell you--”
“Do you feel safe?” May interrupts her and Yelena pushes herself further into the corner before slowly shaking her head. “Tell me.”
Yelena stares at her SO before replying slowly. “I don’t feel safe…” She whispers, looking around the room for an exit.
“Thank you for telling me. Look at me. Eyes on me, Yelena,” May coaxed and Yelena finally meets May’s gaze. “It’s okay to not feel safe. Me and Maria are on your side. We’re not going to hurt you.”
“Medical--” Yelena whispers the word, her hands shaking slightly. “I don’t want-- please?”
“Medical?” May translates and Yelena lets out a flinch. “That’s what frightened you?”
Yelena lets out a wary nod. “I don’t feel safe.” She repeats. She pulls the letter opener closer. “My sister--” She manages to get out in English.
“She’s with Clint and Coulson,” Maria said and Yelena feels herself jerk.
“Don’t hurt her!” Yelena manages to remember to speak English.
“We’re not going to hurt her,” Maria said, eyeing her. “We don’t work like that.”
Yelena tugs on her hair in frustration. “I don’t wanna go to medical…”
“I’ve been to medical,” May pipes up and Yelena glances at her. “What are you scared of?”
Yelena opens her mouth to yell at her. Tell her that she’s not afraid. But the words fade and instead she said “It hurts.”
“What about it hurts?” Maria asked her.
“I want my sister!” Yelena can’t squish herself any further in the corner. “I don’t wanna go. I’ve been good. I did what you asked. I didn’t break any rules.”
Maria frowns at her. “Being sent to medical isn’t a punishment.”
“Natalia--” Yelena repeats.
“We can go see your sister,” Maria starts and Yelena grips the letter opener tighter. “We can even skip going to medical today. But we need to sit down and talk.”
“You’re lying--” Yelena cuts herself off.
“You can carry the letter opener the whole time if you want,” Maria offers despite the fact one of the rules was that Yelena wasn’t allowed to carry weapons on her. “I bet that your sister needs you as much as you need her right now.”
Yelena searches her face, searching for some sort of trickery or indication of lying. “Give me your word as Deputy Director.”
Maria nods her head. “You have my word as Deputy Director that we’re only going to your sister. That we’ll postpone the medical appointment.”
Yelena swallows hard before nodding. “Where is she?”
Maria reached a hand up to her earpiece and asked the location of Natalia. “She’s by the engine.”
Yelena glances at May.
“Are you ready to come yet?” May asked her. “Or do you need another minute?”
Yelena jerks forward out of the corner, her knees protesting from where she had been crouched. “I’m fine.”
Neither of the women commented on the lie that Yelena forced out of her mouth. Yelena clutches the letter opener close and stiffly follows Maria. She knows that May is right behind her to stop her if she suddenly decides to bolt again.
Yelena can spot Natalia perched on top of a storage cabinet. Natalia’s eyes widen when she sees Yelena. “Did they hurt you?” She demands from her spot, her eyes zeroing in on the letter opener that Yelena clutched in her fist.
“No. The commander promised her word that we don’t have to do medical today,” Yelena approached the storage shelf, eyeing it before glancing back where Clint and Coulson were standing. “I ran but they caught me.”
Yelena would have escaped if they weren’t 30,000 feet above the sea.
Natalia eyes the others and reached her hand down. Yelena approached and when nobody stopped her she reached up and grasped Natalia’s hand.
Yelena climbs up to sit with Natalia. She keeps a hold on the letter opener because while Natalia was better than Yelena at a lot of things, Yelena was better with a knife than Natalia who preferred guns.
Yelena is half sitting on Natalia, not a lot of room to move at the top of the shelf. Natalia’s hands immediately slide over Yelena to search for injuries and if they were in their own personal quarters then Yelena is sure that Natalia would demand that she strip.
Yelena runs one of her hands over Natalia in turn to ensure that neither Clint nor Coulson had hurt her.
Now that she’s with her sister Yelena leans against her with a heavy sigh. “I broke a rule…” She looks down at the letter opener.
Natalia grips the wrist with the knife. “It’ll be okay.”
“So,” Maria pipes up and the girls look down at her. “We need to speak.”
Yelena stares down at her.
“Because what happened today cannot happen again. You became not only a danger to yourself but to others--” Maria cuts herself off when Coulson rests a hand against her shoulder.
“We unintentionally triggered you. We need to speak about what frightens you and work through it,” Coulson, ever the peacekeeper, starts.
“Yelena kept mentioning how she was good. How she didn’t break any rules,” May starts, and Yelena curls in on herself at the mention of her lapse in judgment.
“Medical isn’t a punishment,” Clint states when nobody else speaks up. “It’s not meant to punish or hurt you. Sure, going to medical sucks and nobody likes it but they’re not going to deliberately cause you harm.”
Yelena leans against her sister, her fingers running along the scarring on her skin that wasn’t even a year old at that point. “It always hurts. Going to medical meant that you were no longer useful.”
Natalia tightens the grip on Yelena in warning and Yelena snapped her mouth shut.
“You two are agents of SHIELD, even if it’s unofficial. You being sick or hurt will not make you any less useful to us,” Clint tells them. “Tell me what you hate most about going to medical.”
The two Russian assassins glance at each other. Natalia speaks first. “The restraints.”
“The needles,” Yelena tacks on.
“The drugs,” Natalia nods.
“The scalpel,” Yelena whispers.
“The procedures,” Natalia pulls Yelena closer.
“The… the unknown…” Yelena finally whispers.
“What if I went first?” Clint suggests. “Or if you need to see what they do on a woman then…” He glances at Maria and May.
“I’ll go,” May shrugs, looking up at Yelena. “There will be no restraints. No drugs. You are going to know everything that they do before they do it.”
Yelena has some semblance of trust for May. She knows that May isn’t going to push past the boundaries she set up in training. She knows that May trusts her enough to train her. May got concerned when Yelena split her knuckles open during training.
“The last time I went to medical I woke up without part of my body…” Yelena whispers quietly and she instantly feels multiple pairs of eyes search her over for a missing part. Yelena curls up tighter.
“This isn’t the Red Room.” Maria states and the two girls flinch. “I don’t know what I need to do to prove that to you.”
“It’ll take time,” Coulson said. “But we’re not here to hurt you.”
Yelena looks down at them. “I want May to go first.”
Natalia yanks her closer. “It’s not safe.” she hissed.
“You told me to trust you about Coulson,” Yelena murmurs to her. “And I did. Trust me about this?”
Natalia stares down at Yelena for a few moments before nodding. “I want Barton to go.”
“We can do that,” Coulson agrees. “I don’t know about you but it looks rather uncomfy up there. How about you two come down.”
“No medical today?” Yelena repeats.
“Not today,” Maria agrees with a small sigh.
Natalia is the first to eventually climb down and extends her arms up to Yelena.
Yelena drops down into her sister’s hold before she holds out the hand with the letter opener, shame and embarrassment flooding her at her actions. May steps forward and lets Yelena drop the object into her hand.
“I want you girls to head back to your quarters,” Maria orders. “No more training today. If you have questions then you can ask any of us. I’ll send Clint with the medical history forms for you two to fill out.”
Yelena sticks close to Natalia the whole walk back to their quarters. Clint had to walk them back because they had gotten so lost in all of their running around.
“It’ll be a breeze,” Clint assures them. “I’ll be back with the papers.”
The two Russian assassins are left alone in their shared quarter. Natalia takes a seat on the bed first and then opens her arms.
Yelena doesn’t hesitate to fling herself against her sister. “I’m sorry. I tried hard but I got turned around and they cornered me and they made promises and I needed you--”
“Shh,” Natalia silenced her with a shush. “We will figure this out just like we always do.”
Yelena tucks her head against Natalia’s shoulder and finally lets out the emotions she had shoved away earlier. The fear, the panic, the utter terror that gripped her.
Natalia just holds her closer.