November 13, 2023
A slight chill hung in the air a sure sign that winter was fast approaching, in the distance there was a constant hum and noise coming from various construction crews that worked to clear the rubble from the ruins of the compound. Almost a month had passed since the Battle had taken place, the smoke and debris no longer floated in the air; the compound was no longer flooded. To him it was almost a lifetime ago, the noise and movement from the site hid his approach to the bench, but he was finally here after so much life?
God, it had been so long since he had last sat upon this bench. Several flowers adorned it now, a small bronzes plate had been worked into its center, with a single word in its center a single name “Nat’s”. A sad sigh escaped him this was a strange parallel of his entire life he longed for nothing but to sit on this bench becoming lost to the world, yet he still hates being here now. All the memories of this place the good and the bad lie in runes like the compound. But it was home it would always be home he realized.
This was where he last saw her alive, brilliant and for a moment happy.
He shakes his head as he cleans the few leaves off the bench and puts the case and its familiar weight down next to it. He hesitantly sits in his usual spot gently placing his hand in her spot, feeling the pain of the many nights on the bench watching the stars pass overhead, remembering the last night a month ago, a lifetime ago. Letting himself drift in memories lost.
“It’s going to work Steve,” She whispered as she rested her head on his shoulder, curled up against him, “stealing his heat” she always claimed.
A slight chuckle escapes him as he answers, “Been here before haven’t we, Cairo, Belize, Moscow, Lagos.” For a moment forgetting the pain and enjoying the feel of her pressed up against him something that came so rarely now.
He hears her sigh then whisper, “the Garden.”
This causes his eyes to moisten. Looking back at the past failure their greatest failure. The final straw that broke his, her… everyone’s back five years ago. Before she closed him out before she did everything in her power to chase him away.
“I was thinking about that life I mentioned, maybe Colorado I always liked looking at the sunsets mountains from the planes there,” he started but stops as she turned to face him and pressed a finger to his lips. Her quirky smile appeared as her green eyes flashed with sadness.
“After, not till their back.”
“Nat?”
“Let’s just have this one night, tomorrow, after; It’s done Steve, then…” She responded in her husky voice that always ended that discussion before it could start, what wasn’t she telling him? What secrets did she hide or know that had caused this gulf? The pain, anger the guilt he saw in her every day since that failure.
She looked up at him green eyes meeting his blue a small smirk formed on her lips, “Tonight I just want to sit here and watch the stars and maybe…”
A noise come from the ruins, several sirens started to wail, shaking him out of his memory, out of his pain, out of the last moment of true bliss. He knew now what she hid, what she planned and the bitter pain it caused. That’s the last bittersweet loss that drove him for years after, that drives him now.
He growls to himself he has a simple task today he would not, could not let the pain distract him, One Last promise to keep.
****
He watched the pain in his friend’s eyes as they approached the Quantum tunnel. He had only been back for a few weeks, dead for over five years returned by a miracle and heartache. Steve walked with a determination that he had not seen in him since… Ever.
“Are you certain about this?” he asked as they passed the lake and the construction beyond. He followed his friend; no, his brother towards the end.
Several sirens blared from the ruins distracting him with momentarily ingrained reflexes causing him to scan the area. The destroyed compound lay to their right, a man sat on the bench near the lake, and Sam and the Hulk stood ahead of them. Steve continued to walk oblivious to everything but his destination.
“Have to Buck, they need to be returned I’m the only one that can do it the only one that should.” Steve paused as they walked up the path, “I can’t be here, I need to do something it’s eating me up inside staying here, too many memories too much…”
The heated arguments, over who should return the stones and the hammer. Everyone insisted on participating in their return, but Steve had skillfully destroyed every argument presented. Wanda lost in her own grief; Clint desperate to salvage something with a family returned. Each person was skillfully eliminated. Only Strange seemed to abstain from the discussion a small knowing smile on his face the entire time.
“Steve?”
“No! it has to be done and that’s final.” Steve said in his Captain’s Voice, as he glances at him, “I’ll come back I promise.”
Bucky only nodded, he heard the lie and knew what Steve was really promising. He knew what Steve really planned, left unvoiced but evident to him and maybe one other if she still lived.
“Sure punk…. I believe you”
****
The quantum tunnel hummed as they approached it, Bruce was fiddling with the controls. Sam stood there waiting to see him off. A metallic case sat next to Bruce, the six stones pulsed in harmony in the case each calling to be used, to create, to destroy, facets of reality ready to return to their own times.
“ So, I’ve included the cube, the orb and the scepter in the case and a hundred of the Pym vials for travel.” Bruce instructed, “ it’s odd the case and it contends can be shrunk by the particles just not the stones individually” Banner continued a look of concern on his face as he looked at him. “The Stones seem to be anathema to the particles…”
“Bruce, It’s fine, I’ll be fine”
“Remember, you’ll have to return the stones to the exact moment they were taken. Otherwise, we’re still looking at a whole bunch of nasty alternate realities.”
“Got it. I’ll clip all the branches.” He responses with a false air of confidence, as Bruce, hands him the case.
“You know, I tried. When I had the gauntlet. I really tried to bring her back…” Bruce whispered as he looked at him. “I miss her.”
He shuddered slightly a wave of pain engulfing him for a brief instant before responding “Me, too.”
Bruce cleared his throat stating, “You’d better get going. We’re almost ready for you.”
“You look a little nervous going by yourself. Ask nicely, I’ll go with you.” Sam offered, no seemed to beg as he stepped on the platform.
He looked at Sam, a slight smirk on his face eyes full of concern. His closest friend for the better half of a decade since DC, the Avengers, being on the run then the Snap. Away from his home his family for seven years. He shook his head, “You’re a good man, Sam. But this one’s on me.”
He grinned and looked at Bucky, “Don’t do anything stupid ‘til I get back, okay?”
“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” Bucky chuckled in reply before giving him a hug.
“Gonna miss you, buddy.”
“It’s going to be okay, Buck.” He answers.
He reached down and grabbed Mjöllnir, it's weighed next to nothing in his hand. As he closed the suit's visor. And stepped onto the platform his three friends huddled around the control console.
“How long’s this gonna take?” Sam asks nervously.
“For him, as long as he needs. For us, five seconds.” Bruce responds typing in the final code to activate the machine then calls to him, “Ready, Cap? You’re good to go. Meet you right back here, okay?”
He briefly glances at Bucky, who knows the truth, and sadly nods.
“You bet.”
“Going Quantum in three, two, one,” Bruce shouts out, as he tapped His time compassed and was enveloped in the bizarre vortex of color….
****
“Going Quantum in three, two, one.” Banner shouted as Sam held his breath for a moment, waiting for Steve to return as Banner pressed a variety of buttons on the console, “Aaand, returning in five... four...three...two...one.”
The machine vibrated and hummed loudly and then shut down.
“Where is he?” he asked
“I don’t know. He blew past our timestamp. He should be here.” Banner responded in a panicked voice as he flipped buttons.
“Get him back!” Sam growls angrily.
”I’m trying.”
“Get him the hell back” he shouts at him as he turned to face him.
“I’M TRYING!” Banner growls back within a deeper voice.
Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder, “Sam.” Bucky said from beside him as he directed him to the water. He glances at Natasha's favorite bench by the water and sees a man sitting there. “Who?” he whispers.
****
As he draws closer, he knows that figure from anywhere having fought by him hundreds of times. “Hey, Cap.” He says hesitantly as the old man turns to him.
“Hi, Sam,” Steve replies in a calm voice, looking like he’d aged fifty years since he last saw him.
He raises his eyebrow the asks, ” Something go wrong...or something go right?”
Steve seems to pause for a moment before responding in a sad voice” I thought, after everything that’s happened...maybe I should try out some of that life Tony always told me to get.”
“How was it?” he asks wondering what his friend had chosen over returning to the present.
Steve turns his face briefly looking out over the water his hand briefly touching the spot that Nat had always dominated on the bench before responding in a sad whisper, “ It was beautiful.”
A sudden sadness filled him as he responds, “I’m happy for you. Really.”
“Thanks.” Steve grins slightly in his response
And for the first time in six years, no eleven years he realized that’s things were changing as he voices the thoughts running through his head, ” Only thing bumming me out is now I live in a world without Captain America.”
Steve seems to chuckle as he pulls out a case from beside him, “That’s kind of why I’m here.”
He unzips the case revealing a large two-and-a-half-foot wide silverish disk, his shield “Where did you even get this?”
“I had a little time to travel,” Steve responds sadly as he passes it to Sam. “Try it on.”
He hesitates a moment before taking it from Steve glancing around at Bucky who was smiling and Banner who looked puzzled. Then slips the shield onto his arm.
“How does it feel?” Steve asked expectantly.
“Like it’s someone else’s,” he answers hesitantly feeling a massive weight being placed on his shoulders.
Steve exhales slightly, “It isn’t.” extending his hand
He chokes back some emotion feeling like this might be the last time he sees his friend and take his hand. “Thank you. I’ll try my best.”
Small grin forms on Steve's face as he responds, “That’s why it’s yours.”
Sam smiles a small sense of dread crossing his mind till he notices the ring on Steve’s finger. “You gonna tell me about her?”
He notes Steve's smile that doesn’t fully reach his eyes. “Nope. I don’t think I will.”
****
He stays with them for a few more hours enjoying their company and reliving some of what he had lost. He refuses to eat with them begging his leave before the remains of the team had their dinner provided in the tent Pepper had erected. He returns to the worn bench again to gaze out on the lake lost in memories as time passes. He knows his friends… family leaves him to his silent peace.
The night stars slowly winked into existence. How many private moments are here with her? In the ruins beyond, the tower, DC, in the tiny village in Germany, France. He smiles remembering so many good memories mixed with the bleeding, the fighting the dying...
“Punk,” he hears as Bucky approaches from behind and smiles,
“Buck? Was about to leave…” he whispers turning to face him.
“Did it Work?” Bucky asks as his eyes search his face.
Sighing deeply, trying to keep his bottled-up emotions from seeping through.
“No.”
****
Hours later he walks up to the small house’s door, both sadden and relieved to have closed the door on his old life as he places his keys in the small dish on the mail stand by the door. He takes off his coat and mask, then places them on the coat hooks, when he hears her approach from behind.
“Did you, do it? His wife asks, her arms encircling his waist as she buries her head into his back.
He grins as he feels the warmth enter his heart before responding, “Yes.”
“Did you tell them about me? She asks her voice uncertain.
“No, I kept that promise.” they had agreed to keep this secret even though it would hurt. One last secret that would be better for everyone.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers into his back
“Don’t be,” he turns in her grip facing her and cups her face, and just gazing into those eyes that he loves
“Daddy!!” a young girl’s voice screams as he hears her feet pound the ground running towards him hugging his legs. He grins at his wife knowing he was home.