END-GAME

“That's..a lot more than what I expected”,said Matt,brushing some hair behind.

Theo had her body crouched, refusing to look at him. She felt too ashamed. Too exposed,all of a sudden. Admitting all those things, wasn't an easy task. It was basically her admitting all her abandonment issues, and revealing one way or another, just how solid the ground for those issues was.

“Jessica could help. She can dig around and find out what happened to Ian”.

“I can't ask her”.

“She'll much more helpful than SHIELD- considering they're the ones who supposedly killed him”.

She clenched her jaw. Trying to close her eyelids, just for a second, Theo realized she couldn't yet find some peace. Just the sound of that verb alone was enough to make her feel sick down to her stomach: k i l l e d . Ian was killed; Ian was dead.

There would be no way she'd be able to sleep, just as she couldn't the night before. And, all things considered, she couldn't ask too much of Matt. There were some lines even she shouldn't cross.

“Let's..change the subject”.

“Wanna talk about the weather?”,asked Matt. “I'm told the sky's all too blue these days,but, I wouldn't know”,he smiled.

Theo chuckled, all so slightly. Truth be told, she had missed those pointless jokes he'd always make. For a minute, she wondered what her face must have looked like; surely enough, Matt wouldn't know, but Matt also didn't need to see her face to understand how she might look.

This unbelievable gift of his, the telling of every little detail, was still a wonder to her.

And,indeed, he did understand. He could tell her breathing was rather heavy, and he could hear her sniffing her nose every now and then; her voice would crack,but she still tried to control it nevertheless.

Her heart would beat too quickly, then all of a sudden her pulse would be too weak to be even heard. The current would bring her skin's sent onto his nose; sweet vanilla, as always.

But, most important of them all, Matt had lived with Theo enough to know her more than she ever gave him credit for. Matt had grown to learn by heart all her vicissitudes. Every little thing, every small and faint reaction.

“Still going to the church?”

“Still think God is a made up concept forced to us by our natural need to believe in something?”

Theo starred at him, her eyebrows raised. Then, she laughed. Matt soon followed, though as per usual, his chuckle wasn't all that loud. He was still very much composed,in his own way, something which Theo often interpreted as charm.

“Not much to talk about when we know each other so damned well, is there?”,she asked herself.

“Guess not..”

Matt placed his hand, very much slowly, over her head. Theo closed her eyes as he began brushing her hair; his fingers touched her forehead, then moved down to her cheeks. He couldn't help himself, but feel the need to linger on her eye's scar for a little longer.

“When did that happen?”,he asked in a low voice,all so quietly.

“Thanos..”,she whispered.

“Mhm. Right. Heard all about it in the tv. They're still talking about that battle of yours- even made a few monuments in New York”.

Theo arched an eyebrow. “They did? What kind of monuments?”

“For one, they've built a statue of Hulk's fist with a dedication in Manhattan,saying this was the place you all first assembled- or something”.

Theo smiled, unintentionally so.

“Hm. Loki's attack. The first of many to come”,she said sarcastically. “And to figure he was hosting a party for us after that final battle.. How very ironic”.

“Don't try and make sense out of this- any of this. I stopped doing so a long time ago..”

Theo noticed his hand was still on her face, cupping her cheek. It felt so unbelievably fitting that she barely realized at this point. Still, she didn't want him to move his hand, and, as if Matt could read her mind,his thumb brushed her skin even more.

He brought his body closer, suddenly placing his forehead onto of hers,and they both closed their eyes for a little while. Having him so close by,surely brought quite the hoard of memories.

“You deserve better”,he whispered to her.

Theo didn't respond because, honestly, she didn't know if this was the case anymore. There was a saying, that bad things happen to bad people- and lately Theo had found herself thinking about it quite a lot. This would have to be the explanation- for there was no other reason for her to go through so many things, all at once, all so tremendously horrifying.

Matt leaned in to kiss her- an action he wasn't so sure if was the right one. Theo felt both his lips and his hand moving down from her cheek to her neck, cupping it completely. Much to his surprise though, she didn't pull away.

Matt was already up, and although there were no windows in sight for any stray sun rays to hit through- Theo understood it was already too early in the morning. He was buttoning his sleeves, and then his shirt - his tie hanging around his neck.

Theo was left in between the sheets, her feet dangling off the bed; her features all felt too heavy for her to even try and control them, lips curved downwards, eyes calm as well as tired. Some sweat drops were still dancing on her forehead, tangled in between softly red hairs.

Each time she dared and closed her eyes, the pictures came rushing in, like flashes all too fast to catch, and yet as vibrant as the memories behind them. The darkness in that room, all too smothered by Matt's body over hers. The coldness of those sheets covered by his touch on her skin; the numbness on her lips caused by his mouth.

To her, it surely felt as if a day hadn't passed. Like Matt hadn't even tried to forget how her body worked; where to touch her, where to kiss her. Exactly where she needed to be brushed and how to make sure she'd feel safe.

Surely enough, Theo needed him. Both the sex, and the touch. She needed to feel some warmth, either by his tight grasp all through the night- or something even more practical. As much as she hated herself, Theo felt guilty over how much pleasure and reassurance Matt had given her.

“I can't believe I did that..”,she murmured softly. “That's why I shouldn't have called you...”

“And here I thought I did a very decent job”,he chuckled all so lightly.

She sighed,shaking her head as she tried to control both the tone of her voice and her expression. Still, she couldn't help but chuckle faintly.

“I didn't say - ... I should have seen this coming. I can't- … I can't deal with this as well as everything else, Matt..Not with Steve here, and,and.. Ian,and Fury's secrets and the missions and the rings- I just can't..”

Matt turned around, slowly moved to the bed and sat right by her. She was still lying down, the sheets covering most her body. He brushed some hair off her forehead, with his finger lingering a little more than they perhaps should on her skin. Tracing down each scar and graze, all the way to her jawline. He lowered himself enough to place a soft kiss on her lips- to which Theo responded.

“I know”,said Matt. “But I'm glad you called anyway. To me,you know, it hasn't been all that long, as it has for you. I was blipped,so.. Doesn't matter”.

“I know you were”.

“Hm? You do, now? Searched for me,didn't you?”,he asked as his lips curved to a light smirk.

Theo motioned her brows and raised her body as to sit more comfortably. Still wrapped around those sheets,she hugged her knees tightly. Matt's hand was resting on her arm, brushing her skin repeatedly- something which she actually liked quite a lot.

“Of course I did”,she almost snapped at him. “After Thanos.. it was pure chaos out there, Matt.. Everyone was..mourning. Grieving- we didn't believe we'd fight again. Or that the next time we'd actually win or anything”.

“You mourned for me? Grieved over my demise?”

Theo clicked her tongue, only to show her sensitive nerves. She didn't exactly appreciate just how lightly he was taking this entire conversation. To Theo it wasn't all that simple; it wasn't just a narration, it was all true. It wasn't some fast forwarded movie scene showing her weeping over the monument with his name carved over the marble.

For her it was day after day, continuously and endlessly searching- hoping he'd be somewhere. Hoping he'd be in hiding, or on a mission, or even imprisoned. Anything, as long as it meant he wasn't be gone. Day after day, week after week, month after month.

“It's not funny”,she said through grunted teeth.

“And yet you never came by, after you all won, to check on me. How come?”

Theo's eyes fell on the mattress, away from his face. “I did”,she whispered.

Matt knitted his eyebrows, and although hiding behind his glasses, it was apparent in his eyes that he was quite curious. If he was to be asked, Matt hadn't seen Theo,even before the blip, for a long long time. So, how could she have checked up on him without his knowledge, begged a certain question.

“I,uh... after we won, we kinda postponed the whole return of the gems thing. We had to mourn the ones we had lost. Take care of funerals, see loved ones we had missed. So I..”,she coughed a little.

Matt straightened his shoulders, his ears hanging from each word she said. Her voice was sounding a tad tainted, herself too drained to speak up louder,even by a little.

“I took some time to search for you. I came down to Hell's Kitchen, I did. I saw you,with Foggy and Karen. I wanted to come by,i wanted to speak up but.. I just couldn't do it”.

Theo pushed the sheets aside all of a sudden, and picked up her clothes from the floor. Matt would wish he could see her as she was getting dressed, but he was content with the sensation still on his fingers,of her skin against his own.

“Too many things had changed”,she continued, stopping herself for only a moment.

“Yes,indeed”,he said in a smile not too bright. “Not for me, but certainly for you”.

“Don't bullshit me,Matt. It's been six years already”.

Matt took a deep breath and pressed both palms against the mattress as he allowed himself to sink inside the bed a little. One thing did he wonder, and that would be what his face must have looked like right now. What could Theo read from his expression.

Would she be able to say just how bitter he was, or how his heart still ached after all this time- he wondered. Even if he was to tell her, she would have probably not believed him. And as he understood quite clearly- one night could not undo the past.

“Yes. And yet, I still hold on to that scarf of yours- even after six years. That cotton made,warm one.. Seems like it was much easier for you to move on, than it was to me”.

Theo crossed her arms against her chest. She really wished there was some bottle of some kind of alcohol in there somewhere right now. Taking one deep breath she huffed out an angry chuckle.

“Don't be an asshole”.

“Sorry”,he breathed out. “Didn't mean to,Sylvia”.

Theo couldn't help herself, but chuckled all so softly. As did Matt, seeing how she still responded so fondly over that name calling. Her face lost all it's stiffness, but the sadness those memories attached to this name couldn't be hidden. Memories- dances on the street as they walked back home late at night; brawls and fights, and sweet morning kisses.

“I haven't listened to that song in ages..”,she admitted quietly.

Matt arched an eyebrow. “You stopped listening to Elvis?”,he asked in wonder.

“Yeah,I.. I did”,she whispered.

“How can you be my Sylvia if you don't listen to Elvis?”,he asked her, a laugh lingering onto his mouth.

“I'm not your Sylvia,Matt. Not anymore..”

Matt's lips parted for a second. Right- he thought. Theo hadn't been his Sylvia for a long while now. He shouldn't forget. As much as she kissed him last night, as much as she moaned his name, and breathed out his breath- she wasn't his anymore.

Matt clenched his jaw, and Theo turned her head away. She felt all too guilty; not only did she believe to have used Matt in the worst possible way, but she also felt as if she had wronged Steve. As If they were still together, seeing how there were only a few walls keeping them apart now.

But, this thought only made her angrier. Matt had done a damned good job, keeping her mind too busy with years' old troubles, to actually think about today's ones. But, she couldn't keep on acting like that. Eventually, she'd need to face him. Both Steve, and the truth about Ian.

“How's Frank by the way?”,she asked all of a sudden. A certain need to get her thoughts out of order; surely, she cared enough to form the question. Still, her mind was too damned loud for her to focus on the answer for too long.

“Morally questionable - as always”,he chuckled lightly. “Mentioned he saw you in between the blipped years. Caught you in a bar,or something”.

Theo raised her eyebrows, as if she'd only just remembered that little detail. But Matt asked that question quite intentionally,despite his supposedly carefree phrasing. He wanted to know the reason behind their meeting; and ,obviously, he couldn't ask Frank about that.

“Right”,she mumbled. “Yeah, I was down in Hell's Kitchen, couple years ago, working with Jessica..”.

“With Jessica?”,asked Matt, all surprised,seeing how this was the first he was hearing about such a thing. “What were you working on?”

Theo scratched the back of her head. Surely, Frank had his reasons for not sharing this part of the story; for saying he had merely and coincidentally caught her in a bar. Still, it didn't matter all that much; not after all this time, at least.

“Frank went rogue, Matt”.

“Differentiating from his normal self,how exactly?”,he joked, though seeing how Theo didn't return that laugh, he suddenly stopped. “You mean.. he got worse”.

“Mhm. Yeah.. He lost it all too quickly. After the blip.. I told you, Matt. It was hell. Clint did the same; many people went nuts during the havoc. Tried to find some justice in the ruins.. We all lost too much, too quickly. But,Frank.. hell, Matt I swear I've never seen him like that..”

Matt knitted his eyebrows, listening very careful to what she was saying. He'd never payed much attention, nor did he ever thought of asking. What happened in the five year blip era was a memory solely meant to be shared by those who had lived through it.

“Jessica asked for my help,and I..”

“And you rushed to save the lost Lieutenant”.

“We served together”.

“Yes”,he huffed out. “And that's the sole reason why he hasn't killed you yet”,he lied.

Theo shook her head,and sighed. “Frank's not a bad person”.

“No. Just a little loose on the screws. Not a crime, is it?”

She didn't respond to that; nor did she wish to. With such a turn of events, lately, Frank seemed like quite the sane person,Theo thought. She, in his place, would have lost it much more. She couldn't exactly blame him; not too much at least.

People were, after all, a hoarding of all things lost and once loved.

“We did end up in a bar, eventually. Talked things out.. Didn't make much of a anything but.. at least he stopped”.

“He hurt you?”,asked Matt all so suddenly.

His facial features got somehow stiff as Theo understood from looking at him. Matt knew, quite well,exactly how fond Frank was of Theo, although Frank himself would never admit to it. In each clash they had in the past, he'd make sure to not cause that much damage; still, if Frank was so out of line, that Jessica was forced to intervene alongside Theo.. Matt feared what this battle would have cost.

“Every battle leaves its' scars and wounds, Matt”.

“Cut this marine crap on me. He hurt you?”

Theo clenched her jaw,as she motioned her eyebrows. “Couple broken ribs”,she mumbled. “Few minor surgeries,here and there. Nothing too much”.

Matt breathed in quite the huff of air,as he turned his head. His fists tight by his legs,and his teeth grunted. Despite his frustration over such a not so surprising realization, Matt still cared about her. About things as simple and irrelevant as past injuries. He just couldn't help it.

“Did he really say he saw me in a bar? I mean- did Frank really use these words?”

Matt motioned his eyebrows. “Foggy did”.

She chuckled. “Of course. Nothing ever escapes Foggy's keen eyes. Or ears. Still telling that butcher story?”

Matt pulled his lips a little, only to form a faint smile. “There's never gonna be a time when he will not be telling that story, Theo”.

“He never changes.. “,she smiled. “Guess that's a good thing”.

Matt remained silent for a second, before speaking again, not at all so eager now.

“Did you ever fuck him?”

“Huh? Foggy? What are you-”

“Castle, Theo. Did you ever fuck him?”

“What?”,she arched her eyebrows. “Matt- we've been through this before-”

“And you've never answered. Not once. And I never pushed it,but.. what's the reason now,right?”

Theo took a deep breath; she started messing with some strays of hair, seeing how this wasn't a pleasant topic to discuss, for quite the many reasons.

“No”,she whispered. “There had been a few moments, but-”

Matt's all so sarcastic and bitter chuckle cut her. “Of course there had”.

She closed her mouth, pulled her lips to a thin line. Matt's laugh soon faded out,a curving of his mouth showing exactly how unpleasant it was to be right,even after all these years.

“Why am I here exactly, Theo?”,asked Matt all so suddenly,his voice now too low,and still sharp. “Is it because you missed me? Because you wanted an opportunity to reminisce on the past- or to take care of what Steve broke?”

Theo bit her tongue; she took a deep breath and chose to remain silent for a few moments. Taking the time to take a good look at Matt, she wondered so herself. He still had those scars on his face,like he did when she last saw him.

His skin felt the exact same way, emitting the exact amount of warmth she needed.

She never had her closure, not as she would have wanted to at least. And Matt, as it seemed, shared that feeling.

“All of the above..”,she whispered,frustrated.

“I'm not your friend, Theo..”,he breathed out, his voice only now cracking just a little. “I can beat him just cause he hurt you- I can take you out of here, if only you ask. I can do many things- but consoling you over your heartbreak.. that's not one of them”.

“I..I know”.

“Then what did you expect me to do?”

“I don't know!”,she shouted at him.

Her eyes had grown red again, and she felt her lips trembling over the idea she'd cry again. Matt stopped talking; he stopped moving, and just waited. Be it for her to have her outburst, or to find time and explain- Matt wouldn't know either.

“I.. I don't know. I just.. I hoped you'd make things better..”

Matt shook his head, motioning his eyebrows. This,after all, was too much for him. There was no point in having that conversation. Despite hating that choice, he had to leave. All his being wanted, begged him to stay just a little longer. Enough to touch her more, to feel her more, to kiss her more. But, there was no point. He would just prolong the inevitable.

“I got work to do. My city needs me,Theo. I can't just...”

“Right”,she said all so bitterly. “No sleep for the Devil”.

Matt chuckled all so bitterly, “Be honest,for once Theo. Maya was never the issue here. You just couldn't do it, and needed an excuse to get out”.

“What are you talking about?”,she snapped at him. “An excuse? Are you shitting me?”

“Don't try and act surprised. You couldn't love all of me, not as much as I loved all of you”.

Theo tightened her fists; she got up all so abruptly and paced along the room. Murmuring things to herself that Matt couldn't really decipher, despite his hearing, she just kept on walking.

“You're such an idiot,Matt. I only hated what he did to you. The bruises and the hatred, and the long night fights... You hated yourself much more than I hated Daredevil. And, you love him much more than you ever loved me. Don't do me so little”.

“There's nothing like a word of love from Sylvia “,he said , his voice coming out all too low and rough. “I never stopped believing that,Theo. And yet.. you're the one being done so little?”

Once again, they'd remained looking at each other. No more words to say, and yet neither could make the move. Neither could take a step and walk out. Just like then, Theo had found herself incapable of walking out on him. On saying the exact things she wanted to.

Surely enough, there was no way she could stop the tears now. There was a tiny little part inside her, saying that perhaps she had thrown away the one person who hadn't walked out on her. The one person who had loved her entirely, and never left. Not willingly.

But Theo couldn't handle such a thought. She couldn't handle such a knot- yet another addition to the ones already deep on her stomach. Theo, despite anything and everything, still loved Steve. And, she also loved Matt. But, was this remnant of a love enough to let go of the past- this was one question she couldn't give an answer to.

“Just.. stay until I figure out the truth,Matt. Stay until then, and after that you can leave. Your city has Jessica; it has Frank - Foggy and Karen. I, got noone”.

Matt would be a liar if he was to say he didn't hear something break inside him as she said that. How could such a strong person as her have come to become so fragile, he wondered as she spoke. And, how could he bear the heart to abandon her?

“I got you, Sylvia”.

From the other perspective of the things- a few corridors and room away, the rest of the team was once again gathered in the space which Daisy had been using with her computers. She'd been up from early in the morning, trying to convince Maria that everything was handled.

She,of course, hadn't uttered a single word about Steve and his cover being blown- and thankfully, no camera had caught such a thing. Still, the havoc and Wanda's attack on Theo, and Pietro's thrown over many buildings- there were one too many testimonies about those.

“Why are the Avengers in Belgrade, Daisy?”,she asked in quite the austere tone.

Daisy tried really hard to suppress that snort, seeing how Maria took yet another chance to act high in front of her. To rub in just how she and her team had messed up, all thanks to her coordination and poor leadership skills.

“Because,apparently, one of their assassin - bombers is playing both ways, Hill. Kira Nikolaevna has been seen collaborating with Esme's team. Thankfully- we have her restrained”.

“What- Nikolaevna? What the hell is Nikolaevna doing in Belgrade? Reports said she was in Macao till yesterday”.

Natasha stood up suddenly and walked towards the monitor. Daisy's eyes followed her, as did Peter's and Naveen's. He and Marcus had remained extremely silent ever since coming back from the attack, but this didn't mean they felt any better than the rest.

“How about you tell us,Hill?”,asked Natasha, her tone indicating her frustration. “How about someone here starts telling the truth?”

“Natasha. I can assure you this is the first I've heard of it”,she said. “How about you back off, and take a deep breath?”

“She's right”,Tony hummed from a chair by the table,where everybody else was seated on. “Too many coincidences, Hill dear- for two highly confidential missions to be linked like that without Fury's knowledge. Don'cha think?”

Maria straightened her back, and took a deep breath as was seen by the screen. She crossed her arms and opened her mouth to speak, but Natasha laughed before she could do that. Just then, she took Daisy's position and closed the monitor.

Daisy looked at her with raised eyebrows and hands, an expression showing almost wonder as she looked at her.

“How about we start telling some truths to each other, before asking SHIELD to do the same, hm?”

Steve felt that word phrasing all too much. All eyes,surely, fell on him. Where things any differently, Bucky would have said,or done something to calm her down. But, as things were now, he couldn't do much- or anything at all.

“She pissed at you too?”,asked Sam with closed lips.

Bucky didn't respond, though his expression and huffed out sigh was enough of an answer for Sam to understand that his assumption was very much correct.

“We should wait for Theo-”

“No”,Natasha interrupted him. “I've had enough of this shit. Theo wasn't the only one you left behind. And, obviously, you have no trouble going behind her back, Rogers”.

Steve lowered his eyes,again. Word for word, everything she had just said was true. And very much a sharp knife poking over a still freshly opened wound. Steve placed both hands on his knees, then crossed them as he got up from his chair.

“The reason why I left, it's got everything to do with Theo. I can't speak unless she's here, Nat”,he said in calm,low voice.

“Y' mean it's her fault you walked out on'er?”,Marcus snapped at him, now up standing as well.

Tony began massaging his temples, Peter's eyes on him. He pressed his wrists, and out of a metallic bracelet he got two pills to land on the inside of his palm. He gulped them down, seeing how the situation would only get worse.

“You okay mister Stark?”

“No. No,I'm not,kid. Want an ibuprofen? You gonna need one as well”,he mumbled. “We all are..”

Peter however, did not speak for a few seconds,something which eventually caught Tony's attention. Too silent,for him to be his usual self. Too somber and sullen; Tony raised his body all so slightly, hoping he wouldn't need to deal with more stuff. Still, he was worried about him.

“What's goin' on mister Stark?”,asked Peter, his voice low.

“Keep an ear open Parker, and you might as well find out”.

Peter didn't know of what to say, but before he could, he heard Marcus' voice again. They both turned their heads, yet neither stood up. Naveen was only a few feet away, ready to take action when needed- but he surely wished there would be no need.

“I don' watch the news, but I got ears. I asked 'round. They all say Captain America's gone. Gone for good. They even built a damn'd monument for ya! How the hell you comin' back, and sayin' all this crap?”

“Come on,Gunny, ease up-”,Naveen whispered.

“Like hell I will!”

Steve bit the inside of his cheek; he clenched his jaw as he raised his eyes to Marcus. “Marcus.. that's not what I meant, but.. It's complicated. Just wait until Theo's-”

Steve's voice was cut by the cane's clicking sound,coming closer and louder by the second. As he turned his head, Steve saw Theo walk in,Matt alongside her. He took a good look at her, hoping her face would be at least softer by now while looking at him.

Her eye sockets looked much deeper than before; her lips almost swollen,and the whites of her eyes filled with red,broken vessels.

Matt could hear how her breathing changed- resembling the pace of someone close to having a panic attack. Theo's eyes were opened as they could, her eyebrows knitted well enough to cause her a headache.

As much as she wished to not show her shaking, she couldn't. Last time she had seen him, two months ago, Steve was a senile man. He had wrinkles and spots all over his face. His voice was rougher than his usual one. His eyes smaller.

But now- he was as old as two months would allow him to grow.

Theo wouldn't do so much as to give him the pleasure to cry- not again, not for him after all these tears she had already shed for Steve.

But, her greatest shame was the fact that the first think she thought of doing was hug him. Kiss him, enough to force her lips to bleed. To have her hold her close, and never let her go again.

This,of course, caused quite the chain of thoughts onto her. Theo felt almost inhuman, as Steve himself had caused her to feel.

Matt's face seemed rough, more than yesterday- given that yesterday he didn't have the knowledge he did today.

She walked,still no speaking. Steve's eyes followed her, lingering on her entirely. Theo pulled a chair,and sat down as she crossed her arms, pursing her lips while looking down. Matt sat right next to her, his hands resting on top of his cane.

“Please”,Theo said in a tone too harsh, “Go on. I wouldn't want to be the reason you all suddenly shut your mouths”.

Her eyes wondered a lot, seeing how all eyes were on her. But in the end, they did land on Steve; a starring contest of some sort, quite too harsh for both of them.

Natasha walked right on them, picked up a bottle on her way in- though nobody could say for sure where exactly she had them hidden, and sat right by Matt.

“Want a drink,Murdoch?”

“Depends on what's on the menu”,he said in a faint smile.

“Vodka”.

“Desperate times”,he hummed.

She opened the bottle, not bothering herself with getting glasses, and gulped down quite the few sips. Matt listened to every gulp closely,before Natasha handed the bottle to him- which he gladly took. God knew how much he needed a drink at this time.

Steve was still watching Theo, not daring to make the first move. He'd wait for her, once again,much to her bitterness. She tried and huff out a chuckle, but she lacked the heart to do so.

“Three words”,Theo said all so quietly,and yet calmly. “In three words, you're gonna explain the reason why you forced me to go through this shit”.

Steve felt his breathing stopping. As if his lungs were filled with something much heavier than air, all clogged. He lowered his head, then raised it again. It was his decision to stay,after all. He had made up his mind; no more secrets, no more evading the consequences of what he had done.

“Because of Ian”,he said.

Theo,despite her wish to look composed, felt her shoulders fall down abruptly. Her hands following, as her lips parted and eyes widened. Matt knew better than to try and stop her as she slowly stood up- but he surely found himself in quite the puzzled state of mind.

“What did you say?”

Only Tony looked as if these words didn't do much as to faze him,but instead was thinking of how it would lead to quite the mess. And frankly, he wished for them both to get it out of their system. No thing he'd do would make this right. Nobody could or should interfere- but he'd let them find out the hard way.

Sam didn't know what Steve meant by that, but Bucky was quick to stand up, only a few feet by Steve. It would come to chaos, and he needed to be ready for this. Ready to have Steve's back- and his own.

Natasha looked at him,trying to read his expression,but couldn't; she then turned to look at Naveen,who then looked at Marcus. Strangely, only Peter was looking at Steve and Theo.

“I did it,Tee”,he whispered,gulping down. “Ikilled Ian”.

Theo couldn't hear anything. It all came out as a loud buzzing. For a few seconds, she was unable to even blink. She only starred at him,with eyes he wished he'd never seen across him; not by her,at least.

Marcus caught Steve's shoulder, and although very blurry as an image on it's own, Theo could see that Naveen was trying to hold him back. Like a hound,ready to bite- yelling at Steve,something she could not exactly hear.

The room grew smaller, so much that only Steve was on her field of vision. Nothing anyone said,or asked,could be heard by her. If only Theo knew enough words to describe what she was experiencing, perhaps it'd be easier to understand.

But, unfortunately, nobody could ever prepare a person for such a situation. Even in hardships, there was supposed to be a ceiling- or a bottom. An end,of some sort. As far as Theo went,however, it seemed as if that hole had no end- and no beginning.

It was just a spiral, a vortex of events formed in exact precision as to make sure she'd lose all her sanity. All that was left of it,at least.

“You..”,she said, her voice trembling and cracking over nothing but mere raw emotion, “You killed..Ian?”

“I...”,he took a deep breath, a heavy pause. “I did”.

Steve's eyes couldn't hold all his guilt, or the weight of his consciousness inside them. They couldn't mirror all the feelings he'd been holding onto all this time. He wished telling her would at least make him feel a little lighter; but it only made his chest heavier. Unbearably so.

Theo didn't act too rush; despite what everyone thought, and although they didn't show it, everyone was on edge, and ready to step up; all depending on her actions. But Theo could actually care less about any of it.

She almost heard a cracking; a click as if to inform her brain it had finally happened; she had finally snapped. Completely, entirely so. Like that point in a movie, where the main character turns wholeheartedly insane,paranoid. Where the music loses it's meaning, where you get to see every little flashback, every little detail leading to today. And it all makes sense.

For some reason she had no sense to figure out, Theo's mind wandered back. Many years ago, landing on many events that had taken place over the course of time. Unconnected to one another, no reason for her to reminisce at all.

But perhaps she needed a distraction- or it was a hidden message sent by her brain. One she found all too strange of a riddle to solve.

First one would be at Josie's, in Hell's Kitchen not but two years ago. After a really long fight, and a prolonged chase.

Frank's face was mostly dark, thanks to the very dim lighting as the time suggested so. Many cuts along his cheeks, many bruises. But,Theo wasn't one to talk either.

He was looking at her, leaned back on the booth. He'd made the order; beer for him, gin for her. He made sure to order two, since the first ones went down as quickly as they the got left on the table.

“Is it me, or are we always meeting like this,Rose?”,he asked behind his glass.
”I've told you so many times now,Frank.. I don't go by Rose anymore”.
”That's the name you gave me. It'd feel as if I'm talking to a stranger if i was to call you anything different”.

Theo sighed. ”Come on,Frank. Humor me a little. I haven't gone by that ever since Ian left. You know that”.
”Mhm. Right. Bastard left and took your name with him. And your heart”.
”Just the name Frank”,she smiled as she sipped down her gin.

Frank shook his head lightly. He placed both elbows on the table as he leaned closer. That way,more light fell on his face. Theo could see all the dry spots of blood; every piece of opened flesh, every shade of purple on his bruises.

”Don't fuck with me Rose. You'd be a damned liar to say you've actually loved any of them. Any of us”.
”I've loved you all,Frank. Give me some fucking credit- “,she raised her voice, and Frank couldn't help but think the roles had now changed. He was the rookie,she was the lieutenant now. “You've broken four of my ribs Lieutenant! Can't feel half my stomach, napkins and bandages can only do so much”.

”You only love us cause you're just that good of a person. Can't help but love anyone who's opened up their heart a little to you. Don't say you can actually give anything more than just this mundane, friendly love”
” Fuck you Frank... How many shots you think i can take from you in just onefuckingnight?”

Frank chuckled and swirled his beer a little. ”It's not coming from a bad place. If it was, you'd know it”.
”Screw you and this wanna be patronizing thing you got on”

He laughed, but didn't say anything. For a few moments, he wasn't speaking. He had his head lowered. Theo's lips curved downwards; as much as she wished to, she couldn't shake away the pain. Too many broken things inside her body, too many cuts, too many things out of place after this battle.

“Seen Murdoch around?”

“He's..gone”,she muttered. “You know that. Don't you?”

“Wanted to see if you did”.

She sighed, “You really are a prick”.

“Only found out now Rose? Thought I trained you better than this”.

“Youdid”,she whispered in a smile.

Then, the years got out. Far further into the timeline, way back. Eleven years ago, inside her living room. Many things were different back then; her hair were much longer, her skin much smoother. Her smile much warmer. Her heart more open.

“I'm shipping out next week”,his voice echoed from the kitchen.

She raised her head,and pursed her lips. “So soon? You only just got home,Ian”.

He rushed inside, hopping before jumping right next to her on the couch. She laughed as he kissed her.

“Come on Rosie. We need the money. Can't start a family on scraps,can you?”

“Money's not that important”.

“Tell that to your bookshelf”.

She laughed,and stayed there looking at her, himself still smiling. He cupped her cheek, then poked it as she snorted. She really like it, but she loved acting as if she didn't -

No, she thought.

She couldn't afford to bring those images back to her heard. Every time she did, it all felt too vivid – more alive than she remembered it to be. She could feel his breath on her neck, his touch on her cheek; she could listen to the sound of his voice, as if not a single day had passed. Theo couldn't bear reliving moments such as this particular one. Not now. Not ever- possibly.

Theo picked up her gun from her waist band, and started shooting at Steve. Bucky was the first one to rush in front of him – although Steve himself didn't move a muscle, and Sam placed the shield in front of them all.

Tony couldn't act high and mighty anymore; neither could anyone else. Only Natasha and Matt were still sitting down, and Natasha herself only did so because interfering would do no good to anyone right now. Also, she was still very much pissed, so seeing Theo shooting them felt rather refreshing.

With the loud clatter of the shots, Wanda and Pietro were alerted as well. Pietro firstly, ran all the way from his room, while Wanda followed; they both thought the base was under some sort of attack.

As soon as Pietro arrived in that room, he took a moment to actually let what he saw sink in. Tony's nano shield was placed over Bucky and Steve, and Sam's own shield – or Captain's – semantics didn't matter all that much – and feathers were out as well. Daisy was holding a gun, pointing at Theo.

“Huh?”,he huffed out, all so puzzled.

Theo,whom was being held back by Marcus' arms, her elbows behind and her stare empty and blank. Pietro tilted his head, turning around to see Natasha and Matt sitting down, drinking from the bottle all unbothered. Peter himself had webbed her gun down, looking at her with eyes filled with a plead of some sort.

Natasha - well, she didn't actually believe that Steve had killed that man. Or any man, at that point. There was no way the man Natasha knew as Steve Rogers would have done such a thing; there must have been a reason behind his leaving, possibly connected to that Ian they all talked about lately- but Steve killing him? To Natasha, this wasn't one.

“Hold her down-”,Naveen shouted ,pointing a gun as well.

As much as he did, alongside Daisy, neither one was sure of whether they were willing to take that shot. All things considered, and sharing that same concern with her, Tony feared Theo might lose control of her power; that she might blast them all to hell at this point.

“What the fuck is going on?”,Pietro asked, although no one in particular.

Just then,Wanda rushed inside, finally catching up with her brother. Her hands were already red, as were her eyes, but- taking a moment to look at the place, she didn't find any intruders. All she found, was her team.

“What...”,she mumbled.

Natasha took that moment to lean towards Matt, her eyes stuck on Theo's face. Stiff and unmoved, as her glance was glued on Steve- as if she couldn't look at anything or anyone else, out of mere capability only.

“Who the hell is Ian anyway?”,she finally asked, though kept her voice low.

“Theodora's ex husband. Or,as things have turned out, her late husband”,he noted,his eyebrows knitted together.

Natasha's eyes opened widely. It didn't take all that long for her to connect those randomly thrown pieces together. Theo's father's words, her sister's- it all came down to a rather bad conclusion, and so Natasha got up as soon as her eye caught Theo's flinch.

“She's gonna kill him-”,she muttered,rushing towards Theo.

At this moment, Natasha said what she believed to be true; before, it felt like a childish rampage, like an outburst of some sort. But,now, Natasha understood that it wasn't like that; that it was much more serious for her to be sitting down like that. She understood that Theo was actually going to kill Steve- and possibly anyone getting in her way.

“Pull yo'rself t'gether Rosie!”,Marcus shouted at her, still pulling her arms behind her back.

Theo clenched her jaw. Surely,had she wanted to, just a blast would be enough for her to throw everyone off her. But, Theo didn't feel like doing something so easy; if anything,Theo wanted to use nothing but her arms. To use as many guns to shoot and feel the pressure on her chest get off,to use her brute strength,as if this would satisfy her more.

As soon as Natasha reached her,in a far too close point now, Theo took that chance to kick her down with both her legs. With the impetus gained, she pushed Marcus with her back,until she forced him to let go of her arms.

Naveen joined in,just as Peter,while Pietro and Wanda were sharing looks with one another. Pietro in particular didn't know what the hell to do,to put it simply. Surely enough, he wouldn't mind Theo shooting down Steve; still, he couldn't just do nothing about it.

“Damn't Rosalind- “,Marcus huffed out just as she locked his neck with the inside of her elbow.

She wasn't responding to anyone, no matter how many times they talked to her. Not a single word could escape her mouth, as if her vocal cords were too drained and tainted to be used.

“Get down Bennet”,Tony warned her,his palm ready to beam a blast.

He wouldn't do it- nor could he actually shoot her down. He still had to do something. Theo looked at him, and betrayal had left quite a long time ago; it was more than just that now. She looked at him the way a dead man looks at you after you've shot him down.

Tony broke down; his lips curved downwards, sure bitterness covering his eyes. He knew of this feeling very damned well; her eyes were a mirror, showing his own self a few years ago, giving this exact same look to Steve. Tony,however, had had his time to mourn,and to grief that loss back then,long before finding out the truth- a privilege which Theo lacked.

Steve placed a hand on Bucky's shoulder, forced him to take a few steps back and allow him to step forward himself. Bucky and Sam both looked at him, unwilling to step out,but Steve's eyes were relentlessly austere.

“Back down Buck. Please”.

“It won't end well”.

“Never counted on it ending well”,he muttered.

Bucky took a deep breath, but eventually he motioned his eyebrows at Sam, and they both stepped down, gotten behind Steve as he walked forward.

Theo had just locked Naveen from behind, curved her waist as to give impetus to her body to swirl around him while he caught her with his arms. Theo landed on top of him, her thighs pressing against his head as he hit him with both fists tied up together.

“We should do something”,muttered Wanda, her eyebrows raised and look glued on Theo whom was hitting Naveen as he got her against the wall,forcing her to groan a little as she hit the surface.

“Uh huh”,mumbled Pietro, not exactly paying much attention to anything.

Theo fell down as Naveen took quite the many steps back; he crouched his body a little, the aching too much for his stomach as he wiped some blood off his nose. A few metallic devices were thrown from Tony's wrists and landed on Theo's, forcing her against the wall once again.

“Wanna help,man?!”,asked Peter as he looked at Pietro and Wanda both,his voice a little squeaky.

Then, he shot webs on Theo's legs. She was pinned down, Daisy's gun still pointing at her as she slowly approached. Everyone was taking it slow, all too cautiously. Wanda's hands glowed red, ready to stop Theo upon the first movement. Steve was about to shout at them, approaching as to ask to let her down- but Natasha stopped him with her arm.

“This is for the best”.

“No- Nat,this needs to stop. Let her down-”

“Not your call- Captain”,said Natasha, her eyes sharp.

Steve took a deep breath before his eyes landed at Theo. Restrained,held against the wall. Pietro's eyebrows were knitted together, his jaw stiff at that view. Like a wild animal they had kept her down, her hands and legs cuffed. He didn't like this one bit.

“Shit... this's berserk”,Marcus huffed out.

“Got any better ideas Gunny?”,asked Naveen, still breathing irregularly.

“Come to your senses,Bennet”,Tony almost plead. “Ask first, shoot later”.

Theo's eyebrows curved downwards, her eyes turning red. Like she had eaten something she couldn't swallow, formed to a knot in her throat.

“None of you asked before shooting my back”,she managed to say through grunted teeth,almost spitting, her voice too tainted and too cracked.

Tony let his shoulders fall down,looking at her in the eyes. She never lost eye contact, as if to dare him, to provoke him. To see what he'd do. But Tony couldn't bring himself and say anything,nor act at all. He only wished she'd one day understand- but if he had to be honest, Tony couldn't understand his reasons either.

And that was it, for Theo. Purple shades covering wave like motions flowed around her body,up and down, as if some sort of charging. Wanda's eyes widened, but before she could act, Theo had managed to dissolve the molecules forming Peter's web – despite this particular being extremely hard and difficult for her to perform, and then kicked a blast right at Wanda.

Wanda had enough time to surround herself in a red sphere, enough for her to not get too injured, although Pietro ran her way and caught her before landing against the wall, forcing them both to fall down the floor.

Theo's nose had began bleeding a little, an after effect of the molecule manipulation. As soon as her hands got free, she fell down on her two feet and started walking towards Steve. Marcus and Naveen ,although both hesitant, rushed to stop her, Peter following, ready to pin her against that wall again.

She turned her body, and with one single movement kicked Naveen in the stomach, redirecting the kinetic energy in his body for him to stay put as soon as he fell down. Peter stopped moving, as he saw that; despite Theo being usually unable to control her powers that well, she now seemed to be rather focused. Natasha ran her way, ready to act on a close range combat; long before that, however, Steve managed to throw his shield right in front of her, it's one end plunged on the concrete.

“Wanna die so badly, big guy?”,asked Daisy, her voice loud.

“Enough of this. Back down- all of you”,he ordered them, stoic as always, as if nothing had changed at all.

Natasha's eye was glued on that shield,which was landed in front of her. Matt grinned, still down and observing. He wasn't so keen on the idea of interfering, for this would mean going against Theo. Not a chance he'd do that, especially now.

Tony looked at Steve, as if to communicate somehow through his eyes.

“And do what- sit and watch as she shoots you down?”,Sam asked.

Steve didn't do so much as to respond to that question, for they all knew the answer. Theo felt sick to her stomach; the longer she looked at him, the more she felt like throwing up. A sickness she had never felt before against another human being.

She didn't speak, she didn't do so much as even flinch; she merely grabbed his shield from the ground, un-plunged it from the concrete and just threw it at him with all her might, letting out a huff of air all so desperate.

Steve was hit on the face; his knees bent,as he placed his arm against the wall only to

balance himself. The shield landed on a corner in the room, far and yet ironically enough placed as if by purpose, to bit hit by enough light for the blood drops to glow under it.

Theo huffed out a bitter chuckle, all so short. Her eyes lingered on that shield as Steve was wiping the blood off his nose and cheekbones.

“Twice now,has this shield been covered in blood”,she said all so quietly. “How very poetic- the symbol of American freedom. Of patriotism- righteousness. A fucking charade”,she huffed out yet another bitter chuckle which ,as well,ended all too quickly.

Of course Tony,Steve and Bucky all knew about the first time. They could all sense the bitter irony; how the first time it was Steve plunging it inside Tony's chest- and the second being Theo throwing it at Steve. A never ending cycle,as it seemed, condemned to be repeated.

As soon as she spoke, Theo reached for her second gun, placed in a strap tied around her ankle. This time, although all on edge, nobody tried to stop her. Both her hands were on the trigger, her face entirely stiff as she pointed at him.

“You killed the love of my life”,she huffed out in a low voice.

“I did”,said Steve in an equally low one.

“He wasn't the only one you killed”.

“I..”,he grunted his teeth for a second, closing his eyes; his voice came out much weaker, much heavier. “I know,Tee”.

Theo could feel the tears running down, as images came flowing through her eyes. The hospital bed, the dim lights- the all so white ,sickeningly so, ceiling. The doctors gathering around her in that cold, empty room. Every little piece; every voice she had heard, every picture and word she was shown merely to understand what was going on.

“You killed my children”,she broke down, and although her face was harsh, stoic as in contrast to the flushing tears- her voice was completely cracked. Her hands were trembling, and despite waiting for an answer- for an explanation or at least an excuse- Steve didn't say anything.

Wanda was the first to step up upon hearing that, while Natasha turned over to look at Matt – whom seemed to be deep in thought, his head lowered and an expression showing much,much anger – and then, Steve. Steve, whom was looking at her, seemingly ready to break down at any giving moment.

“What does she mean-”,Natasha whispered, then raised her voice a little, “What the fuck does she mean, Steve?”

Steve clenched his jaw. Never would he dare speak of that story in front of Theo, as if he had any right to do so.

Tony lowered his head; this was the worst part of this story, as he knew it. One part which would give Theo all the loopholes in the world to kill Steve right on the spot, no questions asked.

Peter, as much as everyone inside that room, turned to take a look at Steve. Tony could have sworn he'd never seen him give a look such as this one to anyone before. Such betrayal and bitter realization of just how cruel the world could be- Tony believed Peter shouldn't bear such eyes just yet. Not him.

The pieces surely came down to a picture, Peter figured. A picture, however, much more horrific than he would expect.

“I was pregnant”,Theo said quietly. “I was seven months pregnant when they- “,she paused,only to take a deep breath. As if to master the courage, as if to make sure she'd at least not fall down her knees. “When they sent the divorce papers. Twins..”,she smiled in the most heartbreaking way a person could have smiled. A smile used for reminiscing, something which was long gone,and never to be found again. “I lost them”.

She tightened her grasp on the gun. She desperately needed an answer. An excuse to shoot him down, right here and now. A wrong choice of words- a shameless attempt by Steve to make this right. But Steve, still wouldn't talk.

“I had to carry them inside me for two months- for them to be born dead. You killed my family- you killed me”.

Pietro truly wished to say something; to ask a question,just as Natasha had done. No word managed to come out. Many things came down to a sense, as he looked at Theo. The so called persona she'd been keeping. As he noticed, only a few number of people seemed to not be surprised by this thing.

One would be Marcus. Steve of course, and Tony. Bucky, as well as Matt. So many people in on this, and although he really thought Matt didn't have anything to do with this entire scheme- all Pietro could deduct was that he had been entirely and wholeheartedly oblivious.

Theo emptied out the bullets, threw the gun on the ground, and pulled yet another one. This time, she aimed for Bucky. One bang after the other, all she did was shoot, barely paying any attention as to what was happening to those bullets.

Tony, although without really intending to put much effort anymore, had formed yet another nano shield in front of them. Neither Steve,nor Bucky tried to evade her though.

“You want an Avenger?”,she asked, tossing the gun down- a big echo of the metal hitting the floor filled the room. “Put out some fliers; you're one woman down. I'm done”.