Steve & Nat
It was a weird Christmas. A more appropriate name would be Christmas in isolation. Because that's how Steve Rogers, Captain America, really felt. Isolated from the many people he cared about.
Some time had passed since a deep chasm had slowly and easily formed between him and Tony. It was too big before they both realized, and suddenly there was no going back. Or if they both tried a little harder. But they were both simply convinced that they were right, and they inadvertently hurt each other even more.
Deep down, Steve knew Tony had a right to be angry with him. But he did it for his own good and didn't want to hurt him even more. He had experienced so much in his life. Why should old wounds hurt? This will not change the past.
He understood Tony's anger. He deserved reproach. How happy he was when Tony got to them and wanted to reconcile... Of course, he wanted to be fine with him. But he couldn't watch him attack Bucky. James Barnes. His only friend. Best friend. A brother who was everything to him. The man who helped him so much, and without whom he might not be here anymore.
He did not want to choose between his two closest friends.
But there was nothing left for him unless he wanted them to kill each other.
"A little life to death," Natasha remarked, holding two cups of hot coffee in her hands. Steve looked up at her from his hands, which he kept rubbing. Nat always knew he was thinking about something and was immersed in himself. With a quiet thank you, he took the coffee from her and immediately sipped from his hot beverage, then burned his tongue. "So, do you want to confide, or do you want to keep it suffocating in you?" Natasha asked, warming her cold hand over a cup. They sat in the hall at the station, watching the heavy blizzard outside the windows.
"I was just wondering how strange it is that we spend Christmas like this," he replied, glancing at the opposite wall. Natasha looked at his sharply cut profile and waited for more.
"You mean running away?" She grinned and leaned against the uncomfortable backrest. "I understand it's new to you. It was hard for me to get used to at first too. I left young, trampled, and longing to survive. In the end, all you have to do is do this. That drives you forward. That you want to survive, and even better, escape it all so that you can return to normal life. You'll get used to it. You have no choice."
Steve looked back at her. Natasha didn't talk much about her past. And when she started, she always spoke vaguely, marginally. Fragments of memories of the time when she had become Black Widow were projected in her glassy eyes. Because otherwise, she wouldn't survive.
"I had that in mind, too. But rather, it makes me think it's the first time we haven't spent Christmas in the Avengers circle," he told her, what bothered him. The Avengers were their family. And spending Christmas without their loved ones... it's not Christmas. It's depression.
A sad smile appeared on Natasha's face and she tucked her platinum blond hair behind her ear. "You're right. It's weird not to be with them this day. Tones would definitely have a great party, which would make Peter rejoice. I really miss him."
"Me too. They're family," Steve muttered in a somewhat absent voice. But they chose it themselves. He didn't back down, he persevered, he stood by his views. He opposed Ross, pitting Tony against him. The escape was the only option if they did not want to stay in Raft for the rest of their lives.
"Steve," Natasha said softly, "forget it, please. Won't you talk to each other for the rest of your life? I see you missing him. Trust me, Tones feels the same way. So damn, you both forget about your pride and settle it,” she urged him.
Steve clenched his jaw and frowned from the window. Of course, he wished it was good between them again. But... but it doesn't work that way. "I'm sorry, Nat. But I can not."
Natasha drank from her cup. "You are so stubborn," she sighed.
Christmas in isolation could begin.