Chapter 1
“Do I really have to go?” You knew you were whinging like a child, but you didn’t care. “Unless you want to break Tony’s fragile little heart, then yes.” Natasha replied. You and the Black Widow were both in your room at the compound, a small smile playing on her lips as she spoke. “Just get absolutely wasted,” she shrugged. “That’s what gets me through them. Ask Thor for some of his famous liquor, it had a man stood frozen for two hours it was that good.” “Is Thor even coming? I thought he had some ‘Asguardian God’ shit going on?” At this, Nat chuckled as she finished lathering lotions across her face. “That’s one way to put it.” You weren’t a social person, in your defence, and you weren’t interested in dressing up or attending lavish parties that you knew were more of a wealth show than actual fun - but everyone was attending, and you didn’t want to come across as rude. You found Tony particularly difficult to tolerate, but you couldn’t deny the hospitality you had been shown by him since joining the Avengers.
“You ready?” “Do I really need all of that?” You were eyeing up the handful of lotions Natasha was holding up. “Relax, soldier. Just pick one.” “Soldier,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes. It had been a while since you were referred to as such. Sure, you were a soldier. A long time ago. Now, you were a newfound Avenger, though you had known Natasha and Clint for years through SHIELD where you had trained up to be the best of both of them - excelling in both hand-to-hand combat and archery. “It just brightens you up a little, that’s all, and it’ll stop you looking so sweaty later.” “I don’t look sweaty,” you frowned, moving to check the mirror. “No but you will be after a few drinks and some dancing. Josh is coming, after all.” “No fucking way,” now you were put off even more. “C’mon G, you know he’s had eyes for you always.” “Yeah and I’m not interested in him. Never have been never will be.” “He’s an alright guy!” “Still don’t care, just do me a favour and keep him away from me?” Nat laughed as she began rubbing lotion into your face, her eyes glinting mischievously. “You do a good enough job on your own.”
You rolled your eyes in response as the assassin began to apply all sorts of moisturisers and god knows what else to your face. Josh was a pain, he was a brave man and definitely wasn’t physically unattractive, but he bored the absolute shit out of you and wasn’t your type at all. Throughout your time with SHIELD, he was always trying to get on the same missions as you as the technical support, and when you weren’t on mission he was consistent, asking if you wanted to get lunch, or drinks, or go over intel together - rarely you had obliged but he still couldn’t seem to get the message. “Anyone else I need to know about?” You sighed, checking yourself in the mirror once she was finished. “Nah, no one else from SHIELD other than Hill and a few agents. Then you’ve got us. Sam, Steve… even Wanda’s attending, though that’s probably more to do with the fact Vision has been told he has to by Stark and they’ve got a thing going on.” “Yeah, I noticed. What about Barnes?”
“I knew it.” “Knew what?” There was a small, knowing smile upon Nat’s lips as she looked back at you. “I knew you’d wonder if he was coming.” “Nat, he’s quiet as hell and keeps himself to himself. I just couldn’t see him going that’s all.” “Yeah like you both haven’t been staring at each other lately.” Slowly, you felt redness begin to creep up your chest. “No idea what you’re talking about, actually.” “Oh stop it. You’ve had your eyes on him ever since Steve dragged him through.” “No I fucking haven’t. I’d rather get with Josh.”
That was a blatant lie and you both knew it, but not only the Josh part - Natasha was right, you couldn’t deny it to yourself. Barnes was unbelievably attractive, sure, but there was something else; the way he carried himself, the blue in his incredibly intense eyes, the body, the attitude - not to mention that damn vibranium arm of his. You were definitely into the ‘bad guy’ type, hence why Rogers never caught your eye like he did with 99% of girls out there - but James Buchanan Barnes sure did. In fact, there was no one else you could think of that ticked all the boxes the way he did, and the super soldier serum didn’t help as you often wondered what advantage it could bring to the bedroom. Of course, you never flirted with him. He had been through one hell of a traumatic past and Steve had always said, in-between Sam’s jokes, that Buck just needed some normality in his life before he could ever consider dating - not that you ever considered that he would be interested in you, anyway. He was always too busy training, or doing laps round the lawn outside the compound, or apparently reading in his room to catch up on decades lost through being the Winter soldier. How naive you are.
“Have you come back to earth yet?” You blinked in confusion, unaware that you had just completely zoned out. “Sorry, I was just-“ “Thinking about the Winter soldier? If it’s any consolation, I’ve caught him looking at you a few times, too.” Now you felt the redness creep up your neck and into your face and you knew for a fact you couldn’t hide it. “Haven’t you noticed he stares at fucking everyone yet?” Your attempt to stabilise the conversation wasn’t working, however. “Oh yeah. Bionic staring machine, but it’s different with you. It’s as if he actually watches you. I’m not the only one who’s noticed,” she shrugged. You couldn’t deny that this bit of information did make you a little… excited? The brief butterflies in your stomach certainly made you feel something, anyway. “Can we just drop this conversation? He’s not interested in anyone, he’s too busy being… well, weird.” “Keep telling yourself that G. Next time you see him, look over your shoulder. I bet you I’m right.” “Whatever Nat,” you laughed, shaking your head.
Before long, you were both finally finished sprucing up for later tonight, your faces fresh and moisturised - and it was only 2pm. “Well, I’m gonna go find Wanda and help her get ready, God knows she’s probably panicking over it all. See you tonight!” She grinned before standing and exiting your room, leaving you to sit and finally think about what she had said regarding Bucky and his supposed interest in you. You remembered when he had first met you all, with Steve introducing him as his ancient best friend. Of course, Natasha and Sam were already aware of him, but you had only heard stories of him being an assassin, or ‘ghost’ through his years with Hydra. He had stood there quite silently, with a smile that never quite reached his eyes. These days, he was still quiet - though you could tell he had come out of his shell quite a bit and you were sure (underneath all the trauma) that he was probably a decent man - he was Steve’s best friend and he was from the 1940’s, after all. Of course, the stories of him protecting Steve and blowing loads of money to win something for a ‘redhead’ also had an influence on the man you were sure he was - underneath the wall he had built, obviously.
Smiling to yourself at the idea of him watching you, you threw your clothes onto the bed before heading out of your room; you still had a few hours until the party, after all, and you could do with a sweet coffee. “Clint!” You called as he entered the corridor to your left and he grinned, clapping a hand upon your shoulder when you were within reach. “I see you’ve survived Natasha’s assault. Just seen her move onto Wanda now,” he chuckled. “It’ll be you next if you’re not careful!” “If she came at me with any of that shit, I’d put an arrow in her,” you both laughed as you headed through into the communal area; it was empty, presumably as everyone was too busy preparing for the celebrations later. Stark had ordered everyone custom-fit dresses and suits, so they were probably getting tortured in their rooms. You weren’t really sure why, to be honest. It’s not like the Queen of England was expected to turn up, but then Tony always had too much money to know what to do with.
“Gotta run G. I’ll see you at the party.” With that, Clint walked through the communal area and out the other side, leaving you alone. Or so you thought. “Hey.” A voice from the corner of the room made you almost jump out of your skin and you turned, expecting to see Steve watching out the window as he often was; it wasn’t Steve. It was Bucky - and after your conversation with Natasha earlier, he was the last person you wanted to see. Already you were beginning to go red in the face, despite the fact you and him had plenty of small conversations in the past, not to mention trained and lifted together with the others. Sure, there were times you had caught each others eye, but you never thought he saw it that way too until now. Realising you had clearly waited too long to reply, you cleared your throat before switching the kettle on and turning to look at him. He was sat in the corner, on the lone chair he usually frequented with his arms apart and resting upon each side; the metal very visible. It was the only seat with a clear line of view to both exits, you had figured out before. “Hey Buck. You alright?”
Before he could respond, a whirring sound not unlike a drone began to sound from the door Clint had left through. Frowning in confusion, you peered round the corner and then just quite simply stared. A red, robotic bird-like thing was making its way through the room. “Erm, FRIDAY?” You asked aloud, though you realised Bucky had tensed up on his chair and you looked at him in equal confusion. “Not FRIDAY,” he groaned, shaking his head at the drone that began to move towards him, getting threateningly close and for a second, you panicked for him. “Get out of my face, Sam, or I’ll break it.” “Sam?” “Hey G. Do you like him?” Slowly, the drone turned before moving and stopping just in front of you as Bucky stood from his chair. “He’s called Redwing, he’s cute. Go ahead, pet him.” You actually lifted your hand to touch the thing before realising what the fuck you were doing and so instead, you shook your head laughing at the ridiculousness of it all and dropped your hand. A day in this compound could never be boring. “Leave her alone, Sam, no one cares about the damn thing.” “No one asked you, freaky Magoo.”
Both of them sniping at each other was normal, for sure. It always had been. But to witness Bucky seemingly argue with an electronic bird was just about it for you now. “What did you just say?” This time, Buck straightened up, staring right into the ‘eyes’ of the drone as it turned toward him before moving closer - and then Barnes (albeit gently) swung for it with his metal arm. “Woah-ho-ho, don’t hurt him,” despite the crackle through the audio, you could hear the humour in Sam’s voice as Bucky sighed. “Just giving him a practice run, sorry to intrude on you two.” The way he said it made your face warm up just that little more and you laughed, turning back to the counter and setting up a mug as ‘Redwing’ made his way out of the room - though you couldn’t shake the coincidence of him flying it in here. “Since when did he have that?” You glanced at Barnes, who was now leaning against the counter, watching you prepare your coffee. Those eyes were so fucking intense and you weren’t sure if he even knew it or not. “Since three days ago. Imagine my surprise when I turned out for my morning jog and ran into it.”
Picturing it, you actually chuckled; you couldn’t imagine how you would have reacted at a weird metal bird with Sam’s voice following you around the lawn. “Are you going tonight?” You didn’t mean to sound so interested, and you were sure he noticed for the way he shifted on the spot. Fuck sake. “Like, are you? I don’t want you to- well no, it’s not that, I just meant… are you going?” You finished, your face on fire; you daren’t look at the man, although he was actually grinning at your futile attempt of, well… whatever that was. “Well, if you don’t want me to-” “That’s not what I meant,” you sighed, turning to him - those fucking eyes were bright alongside the amused grin across his features. “It’s just that you’re usually so… quiet and stuff, I didn’t know if it was your thing, so I just- I just wondered if you were.” “Are you?” “Yeah… yeah I’m going.” “Then I’ll see you there, won’t I?” There were two ways you could take this. One, he was asking just to save you the embarrassment of your stuttering and was genuinely just curious, or, he was checking if you were before he decided where he actually was or not.
Nodding, you took one last glance at him before chuckling at your own nervous behaviour; this was Natasha’s fault for making you realise just how much you noticeably had an interest him - and how he supposedly did in you, too, so naturally you were reading into things very closely, flustering yourself in the fucking process. “Coffee? Tea?” You never actually saw him drink one before, but you knew it would be rude to not offer. “No, thank you.” Instead, he moved around the counter and pulled a bottle of whisky from the fridge with his bionic arm, the flesh one taking a whisky glass out and placing it onto the counter with a thud. “Can you even… get drunk? Steve said he can’t because of the serum, are you the same?” You waited for his response as he poured a generous glass before throwing it to the back of his throat and the butterflies returned; why were you so sensitive over him all of a sudden? The man just suited whisky. Drinking it, smelling of it, the whole scene was making you wonder whether you had just had a few yourself.
“No. Neither of us can get drunk, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the taste,” he winked as he finished the sentence before pouring another and your heart almost skipped a beat. Was he fucking flirting? Okay, that’s probably enough. You weren’t interested in going shy for the third time at the 6ft man across the counter. “I see… well, I should probably go and get the rest of my stuff sorted.” You went to turn to walk away until his voice stopped you in your tracks. “Your coffee?” “Shit yeah, thanks, Buck.” The sight of his muscular arms straining in that damn burgundy Henley almost made you want to abandon the coffee altogether and run back to your room. “I won’t be going in this, don’t worry,” he laughed and you realised you had actually been staring. Oh how the tables have turned. “I wasn’t-“ “It’s fine. I don’t mind. I’m used to people staring at it.” In relief, you realised he thought you had been staring at the metal - he very rarely had it on show, after all. Especially now that he looked so… domestic stood in the kitchen in trainers, jeans and a casual top. You decided to go along with it, taking a sip of your always too-sweet coffee as you smiled again.
“It’s really interesting. I never see it up close, you’re always wearing sleeves.” “Yeah. I try to keep it hidden away, but Sam reckons that’s to do with its history. You know what he’s like, never lets you forget that he used to counsel soldiers, so… trying something new.” In fairness, he had a point. “So… why now?” Bucky shrugged before pouring another glass, pondering what to say for a moment. “I went from one fight to another for 90 years. It took me a long time to… readjust.” That was all he offered on the matter, and you didn’t push on what he meant. This was the first time he had ever spoke to you about something like this. “And now?” You offered a comforting smile, your eyes searching his for any kind of warning to shut up or drop it; but you noticed his smile now reaching his own eyes, for once. “I guess I need to start living.” What you didn’t know was that earlier that day, Sam had joined Natasha in mentioning a few things to you both - one of those being Bucky’s clear interest in you. “Sounds like a good idea,” you smiled further, before turning back to the door.
“See you tonight, doll.” Once again, you froze. Did the Winter Soldier just call you doll? “Sorry?” You didn’t turn back round, but looked over your shoulder, searching him with your eyes. “I said I’ll see you tonight.” Okay, maybe you were imagining it. Admittedly you had gotten flustered around him in the past, but this was something else. It was as if the air itself had changed between you both. “See you tonight!” You grinned, before making your escape back to your room, coffee in hand. Then, you remembered Nat’s words earlier and, with a quick glance back, she was fucking right. Bucky’s eyes were on your lower back - until he quickly averted them, eyes back on the whisky before him. You grinned to yourself. Never in your entire time here with the soldier had a conversation ever been so flustering for you. Finding your room, you slumped onto your bed and groaned into the pillow at the selfish butterflies crawling through your abdomen. You remembered one conversation between you both, where you had asked his age. “One hundred and six,” he had replied, and you did laugh, but he was pretty serious. Was it acceptable to fuck a 106 year old man? Was it ethical to grind down on a colleague whom you live with? You quickly shut down the thoughts, pushing yourself up and deciding to that it was probably wrong to even be thinking about it. But then again… he had been looking at your ass as you’d left, just as Natasha said he would.
Turning in your bed, you shuffled back in a sitting position with your coffee and you made a mental note to avoid the man if you ended up drinking too much; you were sure he wouldn’t take advantage, but you didn’t want to embarrass yourself by climbing onto his lap, either. Glancing at the clothes on your bed, you smiled at the thought of Bucky staring at you wide-eyed in them, and you decided to do some reading to pass the time; you had to admit it to yourself that now you were actually looking forward to it. Smiling further, you nestled back and allowed your thoughts to wander before pulling out your favourite book.
A knock on your door stole your attention from the words in front of you and you glanced up; quickly realising it had turned from night to day in the time you had been zoned into your book. That was the best thing about reading to you; hours could pass within minutes. “Come in.” It was who you had expected. Natasha came into your room and your eyebrows shot up; she looked unbelievable, in a black, strapless dress that hugged her figure perfectly. “Wow.” “I could say the same thing except you’re still in your casuals. Changed your mind?” You folded a corner of the page before tossing it onto your bedside table. “No, I just lost track of time.” “Well you’ve left it a little too late for your makeup.” “Oh no,” you whined sarcastically; you had never been interested in the stuff. If anything, you were grateful you had lost track of time - it meant you could escape Nat’s clutches.
Of course, you knew why she enjoyed it; the red room never allowed her to explore such things, and rarely did she get the opportunity to actually take interest in femininity - hence why there had been plenty of moments that you had allowed her to use you as her personal fucking guinea pig. “Sam said you were with Bucky earlier. Come on, get dressed.” You obeyed as she sat on the edge of your bed, moving your dress over to you as she did so. “It’s almost as though we don’t live in the same compound,” you grinned sarcastically. “Do you eye-fuck anyone else in here?” You shook your head now, embarrassed but at the same time humoured by Nat’s attempts. “Sam spoke with him earlier,” she added, watching you from the corner of her eye for a reaction. “He wasn’t gonna go ‘til he mentioned that you were. I don’t think Josh is the only one you have to worry about tonight.” Those damn butterflies.
“I’m not worried about Josh and I’m not worried about Bucky, either. I’m just there to have a good time,” you began to strip, eyeing up the dress you had; it was your favourite colour, not unlike Natasha’s, except the heels of your shoes were thankfully a lot smaller than hers. Pulling it on, it hugged your figure maybe a little too much for you and you pulled at the sides a bit in an attempt to loosen it. Nat wolf whistled to your right before leaning forward, mischief in her eyes. “I think he won’t be able to take his eyes off you in that.” As always, you began to go red, the heat creeping up your throat and into your cheeks. Of course you wanted Barnes to look at your body. Actually, if you were truly honest, you wanted a lot more than just his eyes on you - but you were also clever enough to know that straddling his oh-so-muscular thighs would do nothing but ruin the bond you had between you both. He had been through far too much for you to view him as a quick fuck - and besides, the feelings towards him were admittedly more than just sexual. Like you said before, he ticked all the boxes.
“How do you know he won’t be looking at you?” You retorted, eyes rolling as Nat leaned back on her arms, her smile wide. “He’s only ever had eyes on you, G. We all know that. I’m just glad he’s finally beginning to act upon it.” At this, you stopped straightening out your dress and frowned at her. “What?” “Like I said. Him and Sam had a chat earlier.” “Right but what do you mean by act on it?” With a final grin, Nat stood from the bed and made her way to your door and you watched helplessly, knowing she wasn’t going to give you a damn thing else. “You’ll see, if the man has any balls, anyway.” And, with that, she promptly walked out of the room, presumably making her way to the hall that you knew would already be filling with people by this time. So Sam really was using Redwing to spy on you both.
With a final glance in the mirror, you sighed at the mixture of nervousness and butterflies in your abdomen; you were already tense in big gatherings, albeit knowing most of the people there - but knowing that you were a possible part of Bucky finally ‘living a little’ didn’t help, no matter how much you had fantasised about it recently. You moved over to the large window spanning your room, looking out across the lawn at the people arriving and you could already hear the music blaring two floors below. Happy was there, dressed the same as he always was in a black suit and looking anything but happy. Then there was Dr. Helen Cho, dressed in a silver wave of fabrics and undoubtedly looking for Thor who you were still sure wasn’t going to turn up. There were other familiar faces, agents of SHIELD that you had briefly worked with in the past, or the odd ‘old friend’ of Stark’s - though you use that term loosely.
So far, you felt relaxed enough; not too many new faces for you to have to put up with, though you subconsciously grimaced as Josh moved out from behind a group of people making their way over - he had definitely dressed for the occasion, wearing a navy blue suit complete with a matching tie. Again, he wasn’t ugly, and definitely wasn’t a ‘bad’ man… he was just too much of a try-hard and disinteresting for your liking, though you considered him a brilliant friend of course, when you looked past all the flirting. Bracing yourself, you moved away from the window and opened your door before making your way down the corridor, following the music that was vibrating almost the entire compound - until one of the weirdest things you had ever seen materialised through the wall to the right of you, causing you to yelp in surprise.
“Apologies, Soldier G. I did not mean to startle you.” Vision had phased through the fucking wall, conveniently right next to the damn door, but that wasn’t what had really startled you; his red ‘skin’ was vibrant against the black suit he was wearing, the white of his shirt standing out blindingly because of it, not to mention it was extremely odd considering he was always in his battle gear whenever you saw him. “Vision, it’s alright man don’t worry but please… it’s just G alright? Don’t worry about being so formal.” You laughed as you spoke, and you had told him a thousand times before, but it didn’t stop him apologising anyway. “My apologies. G. I hope I find you well?” “Er, yeah I’m alright. Are you?” You weren’t entirely sure yet if he couldn’t be, in fairness. “I must admit I am a little nervous. Mr. Stark designed this for me. It is not my… usual attire.” “You look great, honest!” Odd, but also oddly great. “Thank you. I do hope Miss Maximoff agrees.” Smiling at him, you nodded encouragingly, finding it really sweet after all. “I’m sure she will.” In reality, he wasn’t the only one wishing someone found them attractive - your heart was beating faster with each step you took towards the music.
As you came upon the doors, Vision held them open for you and you took a breath before stepping through; and immediately you realised just why Stark’s parties were so fucking extreme. The bar was lined with expensive liquors whilst LED’s lit the counter up in an array of colours, the bass of the music matching the flashes of the lights from the ceiling and the dance floor was already half full of early arrivals. You had to generally stand still for a moment before taking it all in. “G!” You turned to see Nat making her over to you with a glass of wine in hand, her face plastered with a huge grin. Vision moved to stand beside you, clearly taken aback just as much as you; perhaps the Android had more emotion than you had realised. “Nat,” you smiled, glancing around for a second at the sea of faces laughing, dancing and drinking around the room. “You okay? Not too social for you is it?” There was a sense of humour in her voice, but you knew she cared that you weren’t anxious, too. “I can manage, for now,” you laughed as Nat took your elbow and led you over to the bar.
“Double disaronno?” “Three,” you laughed, looking forward to letting loose a little for once. “Vis!” An excited voice caught your attention as Vision had followed you both to the bar before being spotted by Wanda herself, her eyes shining at the sight before you. You and Natasha exchanged a quick knowing glance with each other before watching Vision stumble through his words, the gears in his eyes working to form some sort of sentence. “God, they are so in love,” you chuckled, finding the whole thing utterly adorable. “I have to admit,” Nat began, passing you your drinks and grinning as you necked two of them. “That I had no idea he could feel those things.” “Same here,” you nodded, before spotting Tony and Pepper winding through the crowd. “Better go see him before he comes looking,” Nat rolled her eyes before giving you a wink and walking over to them. “Let’s go over there, Vis, hey G.” Wanda cast you a smile as she tugged at Vision before they moved away, leaving you at the bar to enjoy your third drink as ‘Little Bit by Autoerotique’ began to blare over the speakers.
That was when you noticed. Barnes was stood with Rogers at the other side of the dance floor, bottle of tiger beer in hand, staring directly over your way. Actually, he was staring directly at you, a slight line between his brows as Rogers continued to talk, though clearly he wasn’t listening. He was wearing a three piece grey suit complete with a black shirt and grey tie, his shoes smart and shiny - and he looked unbelievable, and you knew your expression would show that as you began to break into a nervous smile, casting a small wave across the room and he immediately responded, raising the bottle and grinning in acknowledgement. It didn’t go unnoticed that the sleeve to his left arm was missing, allowing the lights of the room to reflect upon the metal of his arm and you were proud; but you definitely needed more alcohol tonight if you were going to keep your composure around the man and so you quickly turned back to the bar and ordered 4 more drinks, unaware that Bucky’s eyes had still not left your person, though this hadn’t gone unnoticed by someone else, of course.
“Why don’t you just go talk to her, Buck?” Bucky was still watching where you were sat as Steve gave his arm a nudge. “I dunno, Steve. I’m still not sure I deserve it.” “Man,” Steve sighed before grabbing a bottle of beer for himself. “How many times? What you did all those years… it wasn’t you. You didn’t have a choice.” “I know. But I did it.” “So you’re going to let it control the rest of your life? You’re not under Hydra anymore, and like Sam said, you gotta live a little. She’s clearly interested.” Bucky couldn’t help but smile a little at his best friend’s last sentence, though he still didn’t move. “Well, you better ask her for a dance soon, before someone else does.” At this, Bucky’s eyes met Steve’s and he gave a nod towards a man that was approaching you with two drinks in hand. Of course, you were too busy enjoying your disaronno to see Josh approaching from behind, but Bucky’s eyes turned dark and his stare became less of a gaze at his approach. “Look, as maybe the worlds leading authority on waiting too long… don’t. She’s been through Hell too, don’t forget. You both deserve a win.”
A hand on the small of your back made you jolt slightly in surprise and you spun in your seat with your fifth liqueur in hand - and immediately relaxed. “Hey babe,” he grinned, before taking a seat next to you and handing you what appeared to be some sort of shot. “Josh, hey,” you thanked him for the drink and turned back to the bar, though you couldn’t shake the feeling of someone watching you. “I never hear from you now that you’re a big star,” he joked, necking his own drink before asking for another. “I’m just busy all the time now,” you shrugged, allowing the shot he had brought you to burn your throat. “Too busy to answer a text?” Great. “No, it’s not that, it’s just… I dunno. When I left SHIELD I just forgot about a lot, I had to adjust and then we were thrown into missions pretty much straight away you know?” “So you forgot about me?” Josh was smirking, but you could see he wasn’t all that amused. Did he really have to make things awkward right now? This was what you hadn’t missed; his repetitive attempts no matter how obvious you made it that you weren’t interested.
“No,” you shook your head, but he didn’t drop it. “Have you met someone here?” You shook your head again, forcing a chuckle. “Like I said, too busy.” “Then who’s that glaring over here like he owns you?” Frowning, you looked over your shoulder and immediately went red; you were already feeling pretty tipsy right now and the sight of Barnes stood tall, tense and indeed glaring at Josh didn’t help. Of course, you began to blush. “Oh that’s just- that’s Bucky,” “The Winter soldier Bucky? No way! I didn’t recognise him.” You tore your eyes away from Buck’s direction to look at Josh, frowning further. “He’s not the Winter soldier anymore.” “Defensive, aren’t we?” You shook your head in annoyance as Josh looked back over at Barnes before lifting his glass and widening his grin. Fucking testosterone. “Don’t do that,” you rolled your eyes, knowing that, as quiet as Bucky could be, he was more than capable of snapping this man in half. You couldn’t deny the butterflies at Josh’s words - like he owns you - but you knew it was probably just Bucky being protective. He hadn’t approached you himself yet, and he had always looked out for those he cared about.
Your attention quickly returned to Josh as he rested a couple of fingers over your hand on the counter before ordering a few rounds, giving you a wink as he did so. “Josh, I’m already tipsy-“ “Yeah? You never ever drank back at SHIELD, I just wanna enjoy this new you.” You have him a half hearted chuckle before pulling your hand away and pretending to fix your hair as an array of colourful shots were slid in front of you both. “To SHIELD,” Josh took two of the glasses and handed one to you before throwing it back, repeating this act with each praise. “To the Avengers, to Stark and this party, to you, to me,” you joined him in each act, knowing it would be rude to decline when he had offered, but you were definitely a little more than tipsy, now. He was just about to order another round before you placed your hand on his arm and shook your head, making it clear you couldn’t hack anymore. Unfortunately, he took this a little too intimately and he immediately replaced his hand upon yours, leaning in slightly with a grin.
“See? It’s a good night!” You nodded in nervous agreement as ‘Back in Black’ by AC/DC began to blare over the speakers. This was definitely Tony. Suddenly, as though he had to emphasise your point, Tony himself wobbled across the floor dressed in half of his suit, the metal clunking away as Pepper desperately tried to stop him from embarrassing himself and you were too drunk to not find it hilarious as they began to bicker - something about Tony wanting to show people how his suit was designed for urination. “Wanna dance?” Your eyes snapped back to Josh who had now leaned even closer, so close that you could count each freckle upon his nose and smell the spirits on his breath. Immediately you shook your head and went to lean back, but he rested a hand on your upper arm instead, encouraging you to stay still. “We’ve never danced, we’re having fun, just one,” again you shook your head, noticing his voice was slurred and he was very clearly pissed as hell - more so than you even were. God knows how much he had drank before he’d found you.
“Is this guy bothering you?” Bucky’s voice was like music to your fucking ears right now as it shouted over the music. You looked up as Josh cursed under his breath. Barnes was stood behind your stool at the bar, his flesh hand holding a bottle, the metal one coming to lean on the bar top behind you. Yes, he was bothering you, but he was also an old friend and colleague, so you were in a bit of a situation - unfortunately, Josh spoke before you could even try, and you cringed at the challenge in his voice. “I’ve known her for years, mate. I’m not bothering her.” “G has a name.” “Yeah? What do you want?” “Well I can see G is saying no and shaking her head and you’re getting up in her face. You’re pissed.” At this, Josh laughed before finally letting go of your arm. “I think I can handle a fucking drink. Mind your business Winter Soldier.” You heard the metal in his arm shift as his grip on the counter tightened slightly; and your eyes closed at the ridiculousness of it all. You were too drunk to deal with this and you didn’t want anyone to make a scene. “Josh…” you groaned, fed up with him now in all honesty. This is exactly why you hesitated about the whole fucking party earlier with Nat.
Josh remained silent, however, as the two men glared at each other with you in the middle like some sort of fucking prize and you knew that Buck could win any challenge that included staring. “Josh,” Bucky repeated nodding slowly, the word hanging in the air. It was a threat. Subtle, but threatening nonetheless. Josh stood, pushing the stool away from him with his legs. “Can a man not have a dance?” “Not when the woman is saying no,” Bucky growled back, his eyes now dark and his bionic arm no longer resting on top of the counter. You knew something was going to kick off if you didn’t do anything soon, despite the adoration for Bucky twisting in your heart and warming your soul; he was so fucking naturally protective. “I didn’t realise Hydra’s pet psychopath had morales.” “What’s the problem, boys?” Oh thank fucking God. Bucky’s jaw was clenched, as was his metal fist and Josh was sneering, his stance tilted due to the large amounts of alcohol he had consumed. As always, the Black Widow read the scene immediately without anyone having to speak a word. “Josh, just walk away. Seriously. G isn’t interested and she never has been.”
You closed your eyes again, feeling almost guilty as Josh looked down at you briefly. “You’re a good friend to her, but that’s it.” “Huh.” That was all he said, before finally turning and disappearing between two groups of people, leaving his last drink on the counter. “Thanks Nat,” you sighed, casting her a small smile. “No problem G. I won’t let a man who isn’t good enough take my sister away,” she grinned, before nodding towards Barnes and disappearing once again, leaving you at the bar with him. “You okay?” You smiled again and nodded, patting the seat next to you that Josh had just vacated and he obliged as you ordered him another bottle of tiger beer. “Thanks Bucky.” “How long have you known that guy?” “We used to work at SHIELD together. He’s always had this… thing for me but I never did for him,” If the lights weren’t flashing so much, you could have swore you saw a hint of relief in his expression. “Then when I left SHIELD, he would text me often, asking if I’d come visit, asking if we needed any technical help on our side, asking if I was alright and ‘getting along’ with everyone… he’s always been a bit overbearing.”
“Yeah, I could see that.” “I’m sorry for what he said to you… don’t listen to him. You’re not any soldier, you’re just Bucky.” You would have normally not brought it up, but with ethanol-inspired confidence, you figured it couldn’t hurt - you did feel guilty, after all. “Just Bucky huh?” He was grinning now, metal hand bringing his bottle to his lips, his intense blue eyes upon yours and you realised you couldn’t look away. “You know what I mean, smart arse,” you grinned in return, shaking your head slightly at the marvel of this man. He was unlike anything else; lethal assassin, marksman and soldier capable of emptying an entire room of life within two minutes… and he was using that to protect you from creepy men. “Thank you… for saving me,” you added, chuckling. “No problem. I just saw you saying no and he wasn’t letting up. Saw it in the 1940’s, seeing it now. I guess some things really don’t change.” “James Buchanan Barnes, forever the gentleman huh?” “Only in certain situations.” He was smiling, but you could just about make out the mischievous glint in his eye, which was probably in your own as the butterflies intensified. And you were still both staring at each other.
“Watch out, Manchurian candidate!” Bucky only just managed to lean back in time as the titanium-alloy of the Iron Man’s arm was thrusted between you both as Tony fell forward slightly, fully donned in his suit this time and Pepper was nowhere to be seen. “Who’s is this? You drinking it?” Before either of you could answer, Tony allowed his facial armour to lift and he necked Josh’ drink in one. You leaned back slightly to look at Bucky behind Tony’s back, amusement written across your features - but he was looking mildly irritated. “Manchurian candidate?” You mouthed, stifling a laugh; at least this awarded you with a brief smile from him. He was sat with his metal arm upon the bar, the other resting across his muscular thighs holding his beer - fucking man-spreading. “Enjoying the party? It’s good isn’t it? I think it is - can someone get G a bottle please!” Tony was fucking gone and it had only been an hour in. To your amusement, the bartender did indeed slide a bottle of whisky over. “Have you seen Pep? I lost her- I dunno when. Actually I think she lost me. Where’s Happy?” “Shit, Stark. What have you been drinking?” You asked, watching him straighten up and look around the room - before he turned and pointed a red finger at you. “Language! Or whatever Cap says. Oh there’s Pep!” Before you could acknowledge a thing, Tony left as quickly as he had came.
“I don’t know how Pepper manages with that man,” you laughed, though Bucky didn’t join. Instead, he was staring into the crowd dancing to the music, his metal index finger circling the rim of his beer bottle absent-mindedly. You smiled slightly as you poured a glass for yourself, knowing he was probably enjoying just being able to sit with someone and watch the world go by. You were comfortably drunk, but not gone or pissed, so you hadn’t forgotten that he was still very new to being able to make his own choices and not have anything demanded from him. You don’t know how you would have reacted being mentally and physically tortured for decades, but you know you wouldn’t have coped as well as this man had. You wondered what was going through his head, as he looked to be deep in thought so, to hell with it. Leaning forward slightly, you placed your hand upon his metal one to get his attention and he looked at you almost wide eyed before staring at your hand on his.
“Are you okay?” You went to remove your hand, but something was telling you not to. Was it your heart? Brain? The alcohol? It was probably a mix of all three, but if there was one thing you understood from his reaction, it was that no one had probably touched that arm out of love or care since he had gotten it. It saddened you, but warmed you to know that such a simple thing could possibly mean so much - because he wasn’t moving it. Just staring at flesh and metal connect without violence for once. “Buck?” He stared a few seconds longer before his eyes snapped to yours. “Are you alright? If this is too much then no one will mind you leaving…” He swallowed before shaking his head and taking another swig from his bottle. “It’s not too much. I was just thinking.” “What about?” You were frowning now, slightly concerned over his sudden behaviour change. Had Josh’s words really gotten to him?
“When I joined. Other than Steve, you were the only one not nervous around me. Why?” You were definitely taken aback, for sure. You stalled for a few seconds, the cool of his hand still against your own, before deciding to just speak from the heart. “Why would I be? You weren’t in control of your own actions. Besides, Cap trusted you, so why wouldn’t I?” “I couldn’t trust my own mind for a while. I didn’t expect a stranger to.” You smiled as you thought back to his first few days at the compound. It was true, people were nervous - especially Wanda. He had kept out of everyone’s way, sitting in his room for days at a time despite Steve’s best attempts. In fact, the only times you had seen him was if Steve was there. Realising you hadn’t responded, you quickly spoke. “I know what it’s like to feel out of control and I know how regret can eat away at you so bad that you just want to forget. I could see the guilt in your eyes. You were fighting demons, that’s all. I wasn’t about to help them win.” Apparently, Bucky had no idea what to say as he gazed at you, because he made no effort to speak. Unbeknownst to you, your words had touched him a hell of a lot more than most. You smiled reassuringly, as though trying to push your point. Slowly, he began to smile in return, teeth and all.
Suddenly, the atmosphere in the room changed as the beat of the music dissipated and was replaced with an entirely different theme altogether. “What the hell?” Bucky’s voice spoke up, his brows furrowed. Across the floor, people began to move out of the way as Steve stepped up with Romanoff linked to his arm. He cast a look over to Bucky and shot him a look before the lights dimmed. You began to smile warmly towards the pair as he pulled Nat into a close embrace, swaying his body along hers as the music continued. “I don’t know what this music is… must be from yours and Steve’s era.” “Yeah… ‘It’s Been A Long Time’ by Kitty… 1940’s.” Bucky was no longer looking confused, but instead his eyes were on your face, but you were too busy chuckling to notice as Tony, now without his suit, drunkenly tugged Pepper onto the floor much to her dismay. You still didn’t notice, for you were too distracted by watching Pepper quietly protest, but Steve and Nat were both staring over in your direction, Steve raising both his eyebrows at Bucky, in what can only be described as a ‘what are you waiting for?’ expression. To the left of you, Bucky downed the rest of his bottle before steeling himself. You gave Pepper an amused thumbs up as you caught her eye over Tony’s shoulder and she grinned in return, though not without an eye roll.
“Would you care to dance?” Wide eyed, your heart jumped as Bucky held his bionic hand out to you and you stared at it. “I- haven’t-“ “I haven’t danced since 1943. Trust me. You’ll be fine.” You knew if you waited any longer, Bucky would lose the confidence he had mustered; and you knew it would have taken a fucking lot of it just to do this. In a room full of people. With his arm on show. About to dance with a woman for probably the first time since before his Winter Soldier years. So of course, you took his hand, albeit nervously; and the grin you watched take over his face was the brightest you had seen on him yet. Your own heart was pounding, and your thoughts were racing - of all the people available, he had asked you for a dance. Of course, you hadn’t noticed, but Steve was grinning widely at his best friend - though you did spot Natasha cast you a wink. They fucking did this deliberately. You were sure of it.
But… you also weren’t complaining as you reached the floor. You weren’t drunk from the alcohol anymore, but more so by Bucky’s toothy grin and icy eyes as he watched you closely. His heart was pounding just as much as yours was, and he was just as nervous as you, despite his best attempts of hiding it. Honestly, you didn’t have a clue how slow dancing worked other than seeing bits and pieces in films, but thankfully, Bucky seemed to already know this. “You put your hand… here,” he guided your right hand around his arm and onto his shoulder so that you were loosely holding him. He was speaking quietly, leaned into your ear, and the innocence in his voice gave you goosebumps - that, and how fucking flush you now both were against each other as he continued to guide you into the correct position. “May I?” His bionic hand was hovering above your lower back and your heart sang at how sweet this man really was underneath all of his trauma. You nodded a little too enthusiastically and he chuckled, his breath tickling the side of your neck and your own hitched at the feel of it.
You could feel the cold of his hand even through your dress, though you didn’t mind; it was surreal and your thoughts were still processing it all. Gently, he took your free hand and intertwined his flesh fingers with your own before slightly outstretching both your arms together. “And then…” his breath was still blessing your skin. “We just… move,” he grinned, his temple resting against your own as he began to step slowly, gently swaying you to the music. “And if you want me to stop, just say,” he whispered, giving your hand a slight squeeze as your bodies moved together and you let out a comforted sigh; you were glad you came, now. Gently, you both revolved on the spot, and you figured slow dancing wasn’t so bad as long as you could do it forever with this man.
“You asked me earlier… why I decided now, to stop hiding the arm and to try something new,” he whispered, tilting his face slightly so that his lips were brushing against your ear as he spoke and you shuddered slightly against him. “I’m trying something new because of you,” you allowed your eyes to close as he spoke, your heart rate increasing even further in anticipation and, admittedly, confusion. Because of you? “What do you mean?” You whispered in return, your face resting against his chest and you could almost feel his heartbeat. “Like I said earlier. You were the only one who didn’t… look at me like I would turn at any moment. Even I didn’t trust me like that.” “And like I said,” your eyes were still closed and you were murmuring now. “I wasn’t going to help your demons win. Bucky, you’ve come so far, you need to thank yourself not everyone else.” “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to just hold you like this?” At this, your brain froze. Natasha was right. She was actually right. This man had starry eyes for you too, this whole time, and you had never even believed it until now. I mean what were you even supposed to say to that? Me too? Do you know how many nights I’ve daydreamed about you? How many training sessions I’ve spent staring at you? Instead, you opted for something else.
“You’re not the only one, Buck,” you leaned your head back slightly, just enough to look into his eyes - and the intimacy in both the way he was holding you and the way his eyes bored into yours was making your knees almost go weak. You could feel eyes on you, but how many, you weren’t sure and didn’t care at all. All that mattered right now was the Soldier who was holding you close in his arms, until another question surfaced your mind. “What took you so long to say?” You murmured, your eyes flitting between his own. It made sense now. The way you would catch each other’s eyes so often, or how he would sit in the communal area watching you, or even- “Wait, the flowers? Was that you?” On Valentine’s a little while ago, you had awoken to the most beautiful bouquet of flowers at the door to your room. You assumed it to be Natasha, as she had done this before, but she had declined, shrugging her shoulders as to who it could’ve been. You had never imagined it would have been the Winter soldier. He smiled and nodded, his chin tucked to his chest as he upheld the eye contact.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” “Because… I felt like I didn’t deserve you. I didn’t deserve anything,” he looked away briefly to his right, presumably towards Steve, before returning his gaze. “You changed all of that.” The music was low, now. Still some sort of 1940’s, but less jazzy. If you cared enough, you’d have thought it cliche, but that was Tony all over. Dramatic and always one to set a scene. You jumped internally as Bucky moved his metal hand to caress your chin with his thumb, his eyes now flitting downward every now and again as you struggled to think of the words to say, but then, not everything needs words.
You leaned up to close the distance and pressed your lips against his own - for a second, before retracting slightly, attempting to read his expression; his eyes were wide and lips parted, but he quickly recovered and he closed the distance instead, tilting his head to take you in fully and your heart sang a thousand songs as your lips connected; you let go of his shoulder to place a hand around the back of his neck to balance yourself and his bionic arm returned to your lower back and you could stay here forever. But of course, such a dazzling moment didn’t just belong to you both for long as people began to cheer and suddenly you got the feeling that they had been waiting for this for probably as long as you had, and you couldn’t help but grin against him because of it as his stubble tickled your cheek. “Really?” He groaned into your mouth, amusement in his voice and you could hear Tony’s enthusiastic shouting in the background. Maybe the iron man wasn’t so bad, after all.
The moment shared between you both only became more intimate, however, as you began to circle your fingers into the bottom of his hair and your lips parted enough to invite him in; and he obliged, your head craned more as you both deepened the kiss, tongues dancing. You only just heard Sam’s voice somewhere in the room. “Man, I don’t think they’re gonna stop!” A tap on the mic and an awful noise circulating the room finally separated the two of you and you could feel the heat in your face so, instead of daring to look, you let your face drop to Bucky’s chest and he beamed towards Steve. Steve was folding his arms, nodding and smiling towards his best friend. The mic flared again before Tony’s voice blared through. “So, now that Manchurian candidate and Clint and Nat’s love child have finally sorted their shit out,” you felt Bucky’s chuckle vibrating his chest and you shook your head into it, embarrassment joining the rest of your emotions in your chest. “How about we get the actual music back on?!”
You finally braved a look back up at Bucky as ‘Mammamia’ by Måneskin began to blare and the lights returned to their dazzling flashes and colours, the dance floor filling back up with people. Bucky was smiling, but more than that, he was positively ecstatic. If you thought you had seen him at his happiest earlier, you were incredibly wrong. “Are you okay, doll?” So he did call you doll earlier. “I am now,” you smiled in return, and you allowed Buck to take your hand once more and tug you off the floor and towards Steve and Natasha at the bar, their faces mirroring each other’s, a mixture of relief, pride and, yeah, slight amusement at how long it had taken you both.
And you found what was perhaps one of your newfound favourite images, of your warm hand and fingers intertwined with his cold one.