Day of the Winter Festival Bake Sale - after announcing the Bake Sale Winner
It all started with a request, then a comment, and ended in the middle of the school gym with hissed accusations as a tie was announced.
"I'm actually surprised they're not yelling at one another," Francis said. He was also rather surprised that his father wasn't looking at Aunt Nat, but he knew that was because he trusted her implicitly and if she ever chose to betray him, there was nothing he could do to stop it. He supposed it was the same with Ms. May and Mr. Coulson.
"Dad doesn't yell," Darcy said, looking concerned at their father's arguing.
Francis glanced over and arched an eyebrow at her.
"Grandparents have been trying to have him declared unfit for years," Darcy replied.
Francis snorted. "I think mine would try the same if anything happened to mum."
Darcy shot him a quick smile. "So, any ideas on how to break this up?"
"Let an actual adult stop them," Francis suggested, raising his voice in an attempt to encourage one of the adults in the gym into doing something.
"They are going to kiss," Ava said.
Francis' head jerked to stare at her, head tilting slightly. "What?" He dimly heard Darcy echo his confusion. Ava merely shrugged as Francis became aware of how quiet the room suddenly was. Both his father and Darcy's dad were staring at one another and then they were kissing, hands fisted in each other's shirts and…
"I'm out!" Francis said, turning around and heading for the nearest exit.
"Go Dad!" Darcy yelled.
Francis thought about turning and dragging her and Ava out of there, but that would require turning back around. He wasn't doing that. Nope, no way, nada, not happening!
Last Spring
"Yes, my name is Clint," Clint said as he stood up in front of the new PTA group. Moving at the end of the school had not been his plan, but it was past time and Francis was fine with it. "I wanted to ask about how one can get some funding for an afterschool club."
"What kind of club?" Coulson, the president, asked, glancing at the clock.
"An archery club…"
"I'm afraid we don't have the ability to fund an archery club," Coulson said, capping his pen. "Also, it's now 8 pm on the dot and we're dismissed."
"But…" Clint started, surprised to be cut off. He was the last one on the agenda. Surely, they could listen to him.
"I'm sorry," Coulson said. "This PTA runs on a strict schedule."
"Isn't this the last PTA meeting of the school year?" Clint asked.
"I'm afraid so. You're more than welcome to bring it up this fall," Coulson said, rising. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get home to my daughter."
Clint stared as the man walked away. Shaking his head, he made his way toward where Natasha was seated and looked at her.
"It's Coulson, he runs a tight ship," Natasha said. "I wouldn't take it personally."
"I didn't even get a chance to present my idea!" Clint said.
Natasha sighed. "He's a stickler for timeliness. Always has been. Besides, you knew it was a long shot for this year."
Clint sighed. "I know and I was just going to ask for money for arrows. Maybe some smaller bows. I have enough targets."
Natasha reached out and patted his shoulder. "I know, I know."
Day of the Winter Festival Bake Sale - Morning
Kate took a deep breath as she entered the back of Hawkeye's Bakery and Deli. Sure enough the music was going, bass up, because Clint wanted to feel the music. Everything was boxed up where it belonged - cookies, cupcakes, and brownies. Simple amazing baked goods, except for the croquembouche that Clint was putting the finishing touches on.
He glanced back at her and waved before gesturing toward the croquembouche.
Kate studied the tower of pastry puffs and made her way around the room. She flashed Clint a thumbs up as soon as she completed her circuit.
'I can do classics,' Clint signed to her.
'I know,' she signed back. 'Hard to move.'
'We got this.'
Kate nodded, because yeah, they did have it. Clint turned the music off and together they went to load the van that they'd bought from a police auction. They really needed to get the thing a new paint job as it still had the 'Trust a Bro Movers' logo on it. Maybe, when this Bake Sale War was over, Clint would actually put some money back into the business, instead of donations for the school.
Across Town
"Looks good," Darcy said as she eyed the croquembouche on the counter.
"Thank you," her dad said, stepping back to look at it. "I debated not making it this year, but…"
He trailed off and Darcy resisted rolling her eyes. "You made a bet on the bake sale and it's a hit."
Her dad paused, looking over at her with a slight frown. "I… Do you have a problem with this?"
Darcy bit her lip considering it. "A little. Ava and Francis are really cool and they're friends with James, so… You know, your feud didn't exactly help me make new friends."
"There are other kids…"
"I know there are other kids, but James and I have been friends for a long time. It's why I couldn't be in Ms. Carter's class. Now he's in the middle of it, too. Like literally, because he lives between Ms. Romanov's house and Mr. Barton's!"
"I'm sorry about that. Why didn't you tell me?" her dad asked.
Darcy shrugged. "You've been busy and… I know Grandfather has been asking questions again, so…"
Her dad sighed. "They just… they just want what's best for you."
"Yeah, well, what's best for me is being with my dad," Darcy stated. "Not with them."
Her dad smiled and reached out to pull her into a hug. "I love you, kiddo."
"I love you too and even though I think this thing is totally stupid, I don't want you to lose."
Her dad laughed and it shook her just a bit. "Love you."
Fourth of July Barbeque
Bucky was definitely jealous that Clint was on the other side of the country visiting Francis' mother and her parents. Granted, Clint was probably jealous that Bucky was at a barbeque. He'd been muttering about monkey suits the last time Bucky had seen him, before he'd left with Natasha trailing behind him and promising to help.
He nodded to a few people he knew, but a lot of them were either Peggy's co-workers, Steve co-workers, or James' friends' parents. He hated that he felt grateful when Sam walked in with his sister and his two nephews. He gave it a few minutes, before making his way over to him.
"Hey, Sam," Bucky greeted.
Sam's response was a laugh. "Do you know anyone else at this party?"
Bucky sighed. "No."
"Where's Natasha? I thought you two were a thing."
"We are, but she got word of another kid and… I think we're having another girl," Bucky admitted.
"Really?" Sam asked.
Bucky shrugged as he nodded.
"You okay with that?" Sarah, Sam's sister, asked.
Bucky nodded. "Actually, yeah, I am. This process was started before we got… serious, so… I knew it was a possibility and Ava is going to be in our lives."
"Serious?" Sarah asked.
Bucky nodded.
"How serious?" Sam asked, eyes narrowing.
Bucky ducked his head, but he has a feeling the smile on face told the story. "Classified for now." Engaged and Bucky still didn't quite believe it.
"I feel like I should be congratulating you, even though you haven't said anything," Sam said. "We gonna have another one of these for you?"
"Nah," Bucky said. "Whatever we do, it'll be small. Natasha's not one to make a fuss."
"Do you want a fuss?" Sarah asked.
Bucky considered, before shaking his head. "I kind of like the idea of just our best friends and the kids."
"Steve and that a.. Clark?"
"Clint," Bucky corrected. "He just bought the house next door."
"No shit, he here?"
"Nah, he and his kid went to visit his ex and her family."
"That's awesome," Sam said. "Nat must love that."
"Everyone in the neighborhood knew to go to Nat, if they were thinking of moving. It was the first one that went up, and Clint jumped on it. Peggy and Steve are going to get drawn into their community life."
"Community life?" Sam asked.
"Clint cooks, Nat shops. I've been tasked with minor household repairs for both houses."
"So it's almost like they're married?" Sam asked.
Bucky considered, before nodding. "They're platonic life-partners. They've talked about this for years, if they only lived closer. I knew what I was getting into. I met Nat through Clint after all."
"Yeah, I keep forgetting that," Sam said. "You and Steve are so close."
"Yeah, amazing how things happened," Bucky agreed.
"What do you mean?" Sarah asked.
"Oh, Steve and I were friends as kids. Lost track of one another, he went to college and I enlisted. At college, he met Natasha and I think he met Clint, too. I'm not sure about that part."
"At some point, Nat and Steve had James' together, right?" Sarah said.
"Yeah, so Clint and I met during an Olympic thing in Rio. Archery and Skeet, neither of us are big names, so we spent a lot of time together along with Natasha, because she came down to support him. Got back to the States, kept in touch, asked if I could come visit her and discovered my best buddy, who'd married his high school sweetheart, living next door."
"I swear, Sarah, it was like something out of a rom com," Sam said. "Steve and I were going for a run and Nat and Buck were coming back. Steve just stopped and was like 'Bucky?' and Natasha was all, 'Who the hell is Bucky?'"
"She knew me as James!" Bucky protested. "I didn't recognize Steve, he was a skinny thing in High School."
"They stared at one another for, like, a long time and then there was hugging. So much hugging," Sam said, laughing. "We did not go for a run that day."
Bucky shrugged. "Made it easier to get to know Natasha."
"I think that's sweet," Sarah said. "It definitely sounds like one of those Hallmark Movie Romances."
"I think it would be if it were Steve and Bucky!" Sam said.
Bucky grinned and finished his beer. "You guys need another one?"
They nodded and Bucky offered to go and get more. Grateful that he finally had someone to talk to. He raided the coolers and wasn't able to find any more. Then went to find Peggy, because he knew they had plenty. She was talking to a balding man in glasses.
"You get new neighbors?" the man asked.
"We did," Peggy said. "Friend of Natasha, I think he was at the last PTA meeting."
The man tilted his head frowning.
"His name is Clint, he was looking into funding for an archery club," Peggy said.
"Oh, him," the man said. "I remember him. I'm surprised he was trying to start an archery club, it's such a fad sport."
"Fad?" Peggy repeated.
"I know it's been a while, but it's popularity has increased with Hunger Games and will probably decline again."
"Yes, well, I wouldn't call it a fad within his hearing," Peggy suggested.
Bucky snorted, because that was an understatement. Clint lived and breathed archery. Bucky could almost hear him screeching that how can something developed in the fucking paloeothic era be a fad. The snort, however, drew both sets of eyes to him.
"Bucky," Peggy said. "Have you met Phil Coulson? He's President of my school's PTA."
"No," Bucky said, extending his hand. "Bucky Barnes."
"I've heard the name," Phil said, taking it. "Steve's friend, the gold medalist."
Bucky nodded. "Yeah, that's me." He looked back at Peggy. "We're out of beer in the coolers and I know I bought more than that."
"Oh, check the garage," Peggy said.
"Will do," Bucky said. He nodded at Phil. "Nice meeting you."
"Nice meeting you, too." Phil said.
Yep, he definitely missed having Clint here, if only because it would have been fun to see Clint go all history professor on this guy. No one expected Clint to start citing sources and naming names, but when it came to archery, the man knew his shit.
He located the beers and grabbed a case to restock the coolers and then grabbed enough for himself, Sam, and Sarah and went to find them. "Sorry, it took so long, needed to restock."
"No worries," Sam said. "Figured you fell into the toilet or something."
"Nah, almost got pulled into a conversation with the PTA president, but well, decided to not go there."
"Phil? Why? He's a nice guy," Sarah said.
"Clint wanted to do an archery club at the school, and was willing to fund the majority of it and volunteer his time," Bucky explained. "All the school would need to do is buy replacement arrows, potentially smaller bows, and some insurance, which, I’ll admit, is not the cheapest."
"Really?" Sam asked. "Why'd they turn that down?"
Bucky shrugged. "My understanding is they ran out of time at the last meeting so Clint couldn't do his full pitch and uh, el presidente thinks archery is a 'fad'."
"Phil's a stickler for the time limit, everyone has family to get back to," Sarah said. "I can say that it wasn't because of archery. It was because the president before was way too lenient. It used to go on for hours."
"I think he's planning again in the fall."
"I don't get it. I mean, he could make money doing private lessons…" Sam said.
"Clint doesn't want his job to be teaching kids archery. He's got a bakery and deli for that."
"Bakery and Deli?" Sam asked.
"Made the cookies," Bucky said. "I've gone in on it with him, actually.”
"Really?" Sarah asked.
Bucky nodded. "He's a great baker and well, I can do soups and sandwiches. Nat and Kate are handling the front end."
"Kate?" Sam asked.
"Clint's protege," Bucky said. "Like, they adopted one another at the last Olympics. She's going to the University and has moved in. They train together, so really the archery club would have two Olympic Gold Medalists."
"Does he just adopt people often?" Sam asked.
Bucky considered it, before nodding. It had happened with him and Kate. He was pretty sure Steve and Peggy would be next. "He's a good guy."
Day of the Winter Festival Bake Sale - Lunchtime
Natasha stepped into the teacher's lounge where those not manning the booths were able to eat their lunch. She paused, seeing Melinda May at the table. In fact, they were the only ones there.
"Have fun?" Natasha asked.
"No. You?"
"This has gotten out of hand, and I'll own up to my part that I encouraged it at the beginning."
"He did cut you off. He knows you hate that," Melinda agreed. "The mini-donuts were a great touch. I rather enjoyed the Harvest Celebration Gold Medal cookies."
"Well, we realized that Phil didn't know that Clint and Kate have several medals to their names."
"He was flabbergasted," Melinda agreed. "Still, I wonder why you didn't come to me."
"You're the school board president for the district," Natasha reminded her.
"I know, but I'm also Phil's friend. Things might not have gotten this far," Melinda said. "Because what's going on in the gym is not great."
"No," Natasha said. "We should have spoken to him before the Harvest Celebration."
Melinda nodded. "And if I knew about it, I'd have tried to move some funding around. If he's still willing, I can arrange a middle school team."
Natasha nodded. "I think he'd be happy with that."
"They show improvement, I can set up High School in a few years. Schools would kill to have an Olympic Gold Medalist as a Coach for a lot of places."
"Fair," Natasha agreed. "Now, how are we handling today?"
“Well, neither of them can win," Melinda said. "And maybe, once they've pulled their heads out of their asses, Phil will realize that Clint is a dorky, generous man that has a sense of humor and well, his arms…" Melinda let loose a little sigh and Natasha didn't blame her, while she was immune to the arms now, she'd needed time to build up that resistance. Thankfully, Clint provided her with plenty of opportunity as he went sleeveless far too often.
"It's the archery," Natasha said, but she considered what Melinda said. "Actually, Phil is just about Clint's type, if he loosened up a little."
"He's needed to get laid for years, but with Darcy's grandparents…"
Natasha arched an eyebrow.
"You didn't know?" Melinda asked.
"Know what."
"The reason Phil is so uptight? Audrey's parents tried to take Darcy away from him, multiple times, by calling him an unfit parent. He's had Child Services called on him multiple times and been in court about almost as often. I've watched him get wound tighter and tighter." She was quiet for a moment. "Honestly, maybe him going crazy over this was a good thing. He was bound to blow sometime."
"That's horrible," Natasha said. "Explains a lot."
Melinda nodded. "So, what are we going to do?"
"Make sure they end in a tie, even if we have to cheat to do so. Clint will want me to count his box."
"Phil will want me," Melinda agreed.
"We check each other's work and we make sure it's the same, down to the penny."
Melinda nodded. "Didn't think you'd turn on him."
"Please, he's giving James conniptions, because he's putting too much money into this when it should be going back into the business."
"James?"
"Barnes," Natasha repeated, before rolling her eyes. "James. Steve named our kid after his childhood best friend, who I'm now engaged to."
"Congratulations," Melinda said.
"Thank you, don't expect an invite. When we do this, we're going to City Hall and we're dragging Clint, Steve, and the kids."
"Not Peggy?"
"Haven't decided yet, but probably. Otherwise she'll throw some kind of ‘Surprise Happy You're Married Party,’" Natasha said, shuddering.
Melinda chuckled. "Best you invite her then."
Natasha nodded, before going to help herself to the meal as Melinda got up and walked out. They had a plan.
August - First PTA Meeting of the Year
Coulson needed saving and Natasha was just the woman to do it as she took her seat at the August PTO meeting to discuss the upcoming school year. There was the usual business and when Phil asked for new business. Natasha raised her hand.
"Natasha," Phil greeted. "I'm surprised to see you here. Isn't Yelena in Middle School?"
"Adopted another one, Ava, fourth or fifth grade. She's got some testing to do," Natasha explained.
"Congratulations," Phil said, offering a warm smile.
"I'm here on behalf of my friend, who couldn't be here, because he just opened a new business in town. He wanted to get some funding for an Archery Club."
"Didn't we decide against that?" Phil asked.
"No, I think you ran out of time," Natasha said. "His kid is interested in it. I'd certainly sign Ava up for it, not to mention, he…"
"A father can teach his son on his own time," Phil said, cutting her off. "There's no reason to designate funds for that. It'd be something more in line with a booster club."
"We don't have a booster club for elementary, Phil," Natasha pointed out, all while smiling sweetly. Son of bitch knew she didn't like getting cut off mid-sentence. "Not to mention Clint is…"
"Natasha," Phil said, cutting her off again. "We don't have sports at the elementary level. You need to get in touch with a recreation group."
"They charge," Natasha said. "Clint doesn't want kids to have to pay. He…"
"So we should?" Phil asked, shaking his head. "I think your best bet is to start talking to the Middle School PTA or the school board."
"I'll let him know," Natasha replied, which is exactly where she went when the meeting was finished. Clint had bought a house two doors down from hers. She'd thought it might be big for him and Francis, but Kate had moved in over the summer.
Natasha entered the Barton household to find them all in the kitchen. Six pairs of eyes looked at her.
"It's a no go, and he cut me off three times. You'll have to get to work. He always brings in scones for the teachers on the first day back to work."
"How many flavors?" Kate asked.
"Two, because there are some who are allergic to coconut," Natasha answered. "They're very good."
"Same flavors every year?" Francis asked.
Natasha nodded.
"Then they're bored of them," Francis declared. Natasha didn't correct him, because there were already some teachers regretting that Phil's kid would be going on to Middle School and taking all the good baked goods. The Middle School teachers were definitely ready for the Coulson family to move to their building.
"Mini-donuts," Clint said. "Multiple flavors, coffee, too."
Kate nodded. "He's not going to be expecting this one."
"There are only two fifth grade classes," Natasha stated. "There's a good chance his daughter and Francis will be in the same class."
Winter Festival Bake Sale Day - Afternoon
Darcy slipped away from her father's table and out of the gym. She needed a break from the noise and the bakery selling and the fact that her dad kept looking stressed and worried.
"Hey," a familiar voice said. She turned to see James, Francis, and Ava sitting there with a deck of cards. Well, the guys had a deck of cards, Ava was reading a book.
"Hey," Darcy said. "What are you guys doing?"
"Avoiding the drama," Francis stated. "Wanna join us?"
"I, uh, I need to take care of something first," Darcy said, hesitating and glancing down the hall.
"You okay?" James asked.
"She needs to urinate," Ava said, without looking up from her book.
"Pee," Francis corrected.
That got Ava to look up at him to glare. Darcy smiled as she moved past them. She really did need to do that. Once handled, she made her way back to the group and sat down next to them. "What are you playing?"
"King's Corner," James answered. "We can deal you in as soon as we're done with this game."
"Sure," Darcy said. "How's the Barton table?"
"Cocky and confident," Francis answered.
"He's overcompensating to hide his fear," Ava added. "He's afraid he will lose. Your father is more popular and Clint made no friends with his display at the Harvest Celebration."
Darcy ducked her head to hide a small smile. "Dad's nervous though. He keeps shooting glances over at your table."
"Please, don't call it that," Francis said. "It's my dad's table."
"Sorry," Darcy said. "Do you guys really think this will end after today?"
"No," James said, shaking his head. "I think…"
"My dad is going to be a sore loser and a jerk if he wins," Francis said.
James nodded and gestured toward Francis. "I didn't say it."
"You were thinking it," Francis said.
"We were all thinking it," Ava pointed out.
"Ugh, this gonna suck, I don't want to lose James as my friend," Darcy said.
"You're not," James stated.
"You live between Francis and me, your mother is Clint's best friend and your father's best friend is dating Clint's best friend. You are connected," Ava stated. "It's not an unreasonable fear."
"Well, that's good to know, that I'm being reasonable with my fears," Darcy said, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.
"Yeah, but I think you have to consider James' lineage," Francis said.
James nodded and then gave Francis a bewildered look.
"Your dad is one of the most loyal people Aunt Nat knows," Francis pointed out. "He loved his childhood best friend so much that he named you after him and he hadn't spoken to him in years. The Rogers' don't know how to give people up. They're with their friends and family until the end of the line."
"Really?" James asked.
Francis shrugged. "Bartons are good at seeing things from a distance."
Darcy smiled. "So basically, my fears are reasonable, but I should trust my friend."
"Yeah," James said. "Trust me."
"Well, what if I want to be friends with you two," Darcy asked.
Both Francis and Ava stopped what they were doing and looked at her, both seemed confused at the idea.
"Seriously?" Darcy asked at the confusion on their faces. "Ava speaks two languages. Francis knows three and is already being looked at for the 2028 Olympics. You're like the coolest kids in school!"
They stared at her, before looking at each other.
"He snores," Ava said.
"She doesn't understand English half the time," Francis said.
"I understand more than half," Ava objected.
"It's going to be 'raining cats and dogs' later," Francis said.
"I know what that means, I learned it from Mr. Sitwell," Ava snapped back. "And James tells me things. He is a good brother."
Darcy blinked. "Oh my gosh, you two are siblings! At least kind of! I didn't even realize that!"
Francis chuckled as James stared at Ava.
"Did I say something wrong?" Ava asked.
"Huh," James said, finally. "I mean, yeah, I guess… I just…"
Francis' chuckle was turning into full blown laughter as James glared at him.
"Mamachka and Yelena call each other sister and Yelena is only like a year older than us."
"Natasha is my adoptive mother," Ava stated. "At least as far as I'm concerned. Bucky will be my father."
"Wait, what?" Darcy asked.
"Mamachka is engaged," James said, voice dropping to a whisper. "I'm going to have a step-dad."
"Will you call him Papachka?" Ava asked.
"I don't know, he's been Uncle Buck for a while now," James said with a shrug. "I'm not even sure they'll actually get married."
"They will," Ava said. "It benefits them financially and Uncle Buck can get insurance that way."
"Sounds like Aunt Nat," Francis said, leaning back into the wall.
"See, you all have interesting lives and I just have my dad," Darcy said.
Ava made a face.
"What?"
"Your father likes men. Clint is a handsome man."
Francis pushed up against the wall. "Dad's bi. Are you saying this is like some weird parental mating dance?"
Ava frowned as she considered it. "I have seen American movies with a similar plot."
Darcy looked at Francis to meet his dark eyes.
He shook his head. "Don't get your hopes up. I stand by what I said will happen if Dad wins or loses."
"To be fair, after the Harvest Celebration, my dad is going to be pretty smug and he'll try to hide it, but it'll be super obvious," Darcy said.
"Unless a miracle happens, this is going to end badly," Francis said. "And we're going to be stuck in the middle, which will suck, because it's going to make being friends with the most popular girl in school pretty hard."
"Who?" Darcy asked.
"You," Ava said. "Everyone likes you, except for Sinthea, but…"
"Sinthea doesn't like a lot of people," Darcy said, which was really an understatement. Still, she flashed a smile at Francis. "Dad bribed them with baked goods to like me."
James snorted. "They wouldn't stick around if you were horrible. You're always willing to help others out with their homework."
"Thanks," Darcy said.
"You ready to play?" Francis asked, holding up the cards.
"Yes," Darcy said. "But I don't know how to play."
"It's kind of like Solitaire," James said. "We'll do a practice round."
"Cool," Darcy said, nodding.
Harvest Celebration
"Well, this should be Phil's booth," Melinda stated as she stepped into the line. Andrew stepped in with her.
"He always does draw a crowd," Andrew agreed, glancing around.
Several years ago,a group had objected to the Halloween Parties and Christmas Festivities, so as a compromise the District put on a Harvest Celebration in mid-October and a Winter Festival Bake Sale in December. Outside of the school were farm stands from the locals with that last of that season’s crops. This year someone had arranged a mobile escape room that was proving to be a big hit. Inside were games including pumpkin tic tac toe and pumpkin checkers, which were the same games but played with different colored pumpkins. There was also a pumpkin painting station and ring toss, where the kids had to get a ring over the stem of the pumpkin. There were various photo opportunities with the painted wooden boards and a cut out for a child or adult to stick their head through. There was also a baked goods booth, which Phil ran every year.
"Looks like a good turn out," Andrew said, glancing around.
"It does," Melinda said, frowning as she noticed a flash. "Must have one of those photo boards behind the booth."
"Surprising. Phil doesn't normally do them back to back like that," Andrew noted.
Melinda frowned as she noted the baked goods being carried away from the table. "Huh, Phil's not normally one for cupcakes and cookies."
"Or donuts," Andrew noted. "I thought he did caramel apples and hand pies?"
"Maybe he branched out this year?" Melinda asked.
"Or maybe there's a second baked goods booth," Phil said, appearing next to them.
"Ah," Melinda said. "That would explain things. Hello, Phil."
"Melinda. Andrew," Phil greeted. "I've been hearing rave reviews."
"Well, what's on your menu?" Melinda asked.
"Caramel Apples, apple hand pies, pear tartlets, pumpkin-spiced buns, and some pumpkin spice and pecan mini-bundt cakes," Phil said.
"Oh, I forgot about the tartlets," Andrew said.
"You always do, I have a few set aside for you," Phil said.
Melinda hummed softly. Phil was rather predictable in what he made for these things.
They slowly made their way to the front of the line and what was happening was revealed. Melinda recognized Natasha and Ava at the table. Behind the table was a man, a few years younger than Phil, and a college girl that people were taking pictures with. The man was a bit taller than Phil and had great arms and Phil would admit there was something familiar about him, though he couldn't quite place him. They watched as he smiled, listening to a little girl as he knelt beside her and they had a picture taken by a boy. It was adorable and Melinda glanced at Phil, noting the bright spots on his cheeks.
"Well, that's adorable," Melinda said.
"Very handsome," Phil agreed without really thinking about it.
She glanced at Andrew, who smiled, and Melinda begged whatever deity that was listening for the guy not to be a jerk. He definitely knew how to talk to the kids and their parents as they came up. The kid taking pictures would occasionally come up to him and say something. They watched as the older man ruffled the kid's hair, the look that the kid sent him was dark, but only seemed to delight the older man. That combined with the physical resemblance and yeah, those two were related. She wasn't sure how the college girl fit in as they stepped up to the table.
"Andrew, Melinda, Phil," Natasha greeted as the people in front slipped behind the table. Introductions were being made.
"Natasha, I was surprised to see that you signed up for a table with baked goods," Phil said, eyeing the table.
Melinda scanned it and noted that there were four different kinds of cupcakes: Pumpkin, Apple Pie, Maple, and a Chocolate. There were cookies that looked like bats (chocolate), owls (shortbread), leaves (ginger crisps), and gold medals (sugar cookies), as well as popcorn balls and brownies. Things that would appeal to the kids as well as the adults.
"I signed up with my friend," Natasha stated. "He likes to bake."
The picture taking finished and the man turned to the table, walking over a few steps. "Any problems, Tasha?"
"No," Natasha said, turning back to look at him. "Phil was just expressing his surprise at me signing to do baked goods for this."
"Well, you signed up for the Winter Festival one, too, right?" the man asked.
"I did," Natasha said, turning to look at Phil.
"I'm sorry, I don't think we've met," Phil said, extending his hand. "Phil."
"We've met," Clint said.
"Well, I haven't met you," Melinda said. "Melinda May, school board president."
"Nice to meet you," Clint said, a smile transforming his face as he extended his hand. "Clint Barton. Francis and I just moved here this spring." He tilted his head toward the kid, who was taking pictures, who gave a salute.
"Are you sure we've met?" Phil asked.
"Maybe not formally introduced," Clint said. "I was at a PTA meeting this spring. Spoke at the end, in fact we never got to discussing my topic, because the meeting you adjourned."
Phil frowned and Melinda could tell he was trying to place him.
"Actually, Ms. May…"
"Melinda."
"Melinda, what's your thoughts on an archery program?"
"We've never had one before," Melinda answered. "And frankly, there's start-up costs along with a need for coaches."
"How about a pair of Gold Medalists that are willing to donate the majority of the equipment?" Clint asked.
"Sounds like a dream too good to be true," Melinda stated.
"That's where I know that name!" Andrew said. "I'm guessing that's Kate Bishop, your partner for the mixed pairs."
A smile graced Clint’s face. "It is. She's going to school at the University and decided that I was renting her a room at my house."
Natasha snorted. "Please, you knew Kate was going to follow you."
"Is that…" Andrew gestured toward Clint's chest.
"One of my golds, want to put it on?" Clint offered, pulling it off and offering it to Andrew. "They're actually pretty heavy."
Andrew took it and lifted it. "It is."
Melinda looked back at Phil to see him staring at Clint talking to Andrew. She reached out and touched his arm as he jolted. He looked at her.
"You okay?" Melinda asked.
"It's fine," Phil said.
Melinda narrowed her eyes as Phil sighed and stepped away from the table. Melinda followed him.
"They're pissed at me, because I decided not to fund an archery club at the school," Phil said. "It's not something the PTA does. I think they've been trying to show me up or something."
"How so?" Melinda asked.
"Mini donuts on the first day of school when I bring scones in. An apple strudel to their teacher when I bring in an apple pie." He frowned, looking back at the table over Melinda's shoulders. "I'm surprised they don't have a petition for me to fund said archery program at their table."
"Do you want me to stop in?" Melinda asked, thinking that this sounded like it was going to be getting out of hand quickly.
"No," Phil said, shaking his head with a sigh. "Why are the handsome ones such jerks?"
Melinda huffed a laugh.
"Besides, their baked goods are common," Phil stated.
"Coulson, what did you say about my food?" Clint asked, loudly enough for them to hear it.
Phil sighed. "I didn't say anything."
"Yeah, try again, because I'm pretty sure you said something about my baked goods being 'common'."
"There's no way you could have heard that," Melinda stated, trying to defuse the situation.
"Didn't need to know how to read lips," Clint said, looking them dead on.
Melinda looked over at Phil and frowned as Phil said. "It was a private conversation."
"Well, maybe you need to stop insulting me where other people can hear it."
"I've never…"
"Bucky heard what you said about archery," Natasha said. "A fad? Really?"
"You know the bow was invented in the paleolithic era. This fad has been going on for at least 60 thousand years," Clint said.
"It's still not an appropriate club for the PTA to fund," Phil stated.
"I thought the PTA was supposed to vote on items," Natasha said.
"I can decide whether or not to take things to the vote and I overruled this," Phil stated, moving closer to the table. "We can discuss it at the next meeting."
Clint snorted. "Thanks, but no thanks. You're just some stuck up snob that's got a little bit of power that he can lord over his little domain. I'd bet we make more money today with our common goods than you do with fancy stuff."
"You have Olympic golds, you're selling pictures, it's not exactly a fair contest," Phil spat back.
"Fine, we're both signed up for the Winter Festival bake sale," Clint crossed his arms over his chest. "Unless you're scared."
"Fine."
"And when I win, you have to shut up and let us present to the PTA for the archery club and then vote."
Phil snorted. "When I win, you can volunteer for clean crew only, no more bake sale, no more gold medal pictures."
"Deal," Clint said, extending his hand.
Phil reached out and took it.
"Gentlemen," Melinda said, trying to break this up. "Are you serious?"
"Make it fair," Natasha said. "Clint, you've got Kate and Bucky as well as Francis. Phil can have two friends help as well as his kid."
"Agreed," Phil said. "Baked items only."
"No fudge?" Clint asked. "Completely unfair to the kids, but fine. Any other rules?"
"Holiday appropriate," Phil said.
"Obviously," Clint agreed.
Melinda glared at both of them, but they didn't pay her any mind.
"We're agreed," Phil said.
"Yep," Clint said with a nod.
Phil turned to walk off.
"Oh, Coulson, forgot to mention, I own the new bakery and deli. Hope your kitchen is up to the baking," Barton called after him.
Melinda frowned as she noted the tension in the line of Phil's back. Their little spectacle had drawn enough of the crowd.
"C'mon," Andrew said, tugging on her arm. "We should check on Phil."
Melinda nodded and followed after him.
Day of the Winter Festival Bake Sale - 1 hour left in selling
"Alright," Jasper said. "Report from the Bake Sale."
"Both tables are seeing heavy traffic," Carol Danvers, one of the middle school teachers said. She'd been the most recent to go into the gym. "Put me down for Coulson by 50."
"Really?" Jess asked. "Have you seen Clint's Yule LogCake?"
"Please, you just want to fuck him," Carol said.
Jess made a face, before shrugging. Jasper noted that she did not object as he recorded Danvers' bet onto the board. Rather than calculate odds, Jasper had constructed two lists: one labeled ‘Phil Wins’ and the other ‘Clint Wins,’ and then dollar amounts along the side by 5 dollars. Each square was $20 and a person could have as many squares as they wanted. There were a few other side bets on the board, such as when various baked goods would sell. This late in the day, well, most of those were over.
Both of the croquembouche had sold early, but somehow Clint had managed to sweet talk Vanessa Fisk into waiting until later in the day to pick it up. She'd lost Phil's croquembouche last year to Mrs. Silvermane. This year, she'd been there as soon as the doors opened with the intent to get the croquembouche. Jasper was still setting up the bets when it sold. He really wished he'd gotten a list of everything Clint and Phil were going to be making.
Still with the croquembouche on display, it drew more attention to Clint's tables. Phil was well known and popular though. It was going to be close and the betting supported that. Both lists were filled up in the early stages with mostly the larger differential left.
Jasper was just glad that his room was the furthest from the gym. The teachers knew to come by and make their bets. Occasionally, Jasper would send one of them into the gym for surveillance and updates.
"How's the betting going?" Peggy asked as she entered the room.
"Going to be tight," Jasper said. "Care to make a wager?"
"No, but he does," Peggy said, stepping to one side to let the Superintendent into the room.
"So, this is what my teachers do in their spare time - gamble on a bake sale."
"Well," Jasper started, trying to decide if Fury was angry or amused. It was hard to tell with the man. "Wait, Peggy said you wanted to make a bet."
"I do," Fury said, smiling as he looked over the board. Jasper knew the moment it landed on the wipe board drawing of Clint and Phil kissing with a 50 underneath it, because the man visibly twitched. "Who the hell is betting it ends with kissing?"
"Wade," Jasper and a few others chorused while turning to look at the art teacher.
"Seriously?" Fury asked.
"Because this is for the Winter Phestival and that's with Ph, not an 'F'," Wade said. "One of us read the tags."
Fury's eye narrowed and well, Jasper was fairly certain that Wade's next review was going to be brutal. He'd be fine, because Wade really did do a good job with the kids, even if their projects were a bit bizarre. He kind of hoped that Fury didn't notice the paper mache landshark that the kids had named Jeff floating around the room. No one claimed it and now it randomly appeared in a kid's desk or Jasper's when he least expected it. Jasper narrowed his eyes and realized that he hadn't seen Jeff in a bit.
"So… what's your bet?" Jasper asked.
"A tie."
"Seriously?" Jasper said. "There's no way…"
"You don't want my money?" Fury asked. "If Wade can bet on kissing, I can bet on a tie."
"Actually, I was betting on something else, but Jasper said I had to keep it elementary school appropriate," Wade said.
"Good," Fury said. "It'll be bad enough if a parent walks in on this without having a lewd drawing on the board."
"Alright," Jasper said, getting up and writing 'tie' on the board and writing Fury's name. "Buy in is $20. Any other wager?"
"Wade, who are you betting against?" Fury asked.
"Jasper, he gave me 10 to 1 odds," Wade said.
"Really, only 10 to 1?" Fury asked.
Jasper said. "I was tempted to give him 100 to 1, but a) I don't bet what I don't have and b) they're both bi, so it's possible?"
"Are they both bi?" Fury asked. "I know Phil is."
"Clint is," Peggy confirmed. She eyed the board. "You know what, I'll put 10 down on kissing as well."
Jasper stared at her. "Really?"
"Why not? It's an underdog theory and I like underdogs," Peggy said. "I'm assuming it's still 10 to 1?"
"Sure," Jasper said, getting up and writing it.
"How soon does it have to happen?" Nick asked.
"Before they leave the building today," Jasper answered.
Fury nodded. "I can't see it happening today."
"Alright," Jasper said. He looked up at the clock. "Last call everyone, the bake sale ends in ten minutes."
Weekend before Thanksgiving
Phil was grateful that he had friends to count on as he took a sip of the tea. "Delicious."
"Thank you," Peggy said, smiling over her own cup of tea.
It was nice to relax a bit in the quiet of the Carter-Rogers home with both Peggy and Steve, as well as Jasper, because the man couldn't resist the temptation of good food. Jasper enjoyed the Full Afternoon Tea as much as Phil did, and frankly it rounded out the table nicely.
Phil took another sip of his tea. "Do I want to ask where James is?"
"At one of the neighbors," Steve said with a shrug. "If I went out and yelled from the backyard, he'd pop out of one of their houses."
Phil frowned. "Not just Natasha's?"
"No," Peggy said. "We have new ones on the other side, remember? I swear I told you about it."
"It's why we were surprised that you wanted to do this," Steve added.
Phil glanced at Jasper, whose eyes had narrowed as he nibbled on his finger sandwich. "Why wouldn't I…" He trailed off as he caught sight of a figure in the backyard. "Barton."
Steve hummed and then winced as Barton was tackled by what could only be James and Barton's son, whose name alluded Phil in the moment. Steve shook his head. "We thought we might relocate."
"No," Phil said, tearing his eyes away from the window. "You know I need to get away from the house while Darcy is with her grandparents."
"We do," Peggy said, reaching across and patting his hand. "We know it's hard for you."
"Thank you," Phil said. "I'm glad we could continue our tradition."
"I'm glad you made the scones," Jasper said with a smile.
"And I'm wondering where the finger sandwiches came from," Phil replied, taking a bite of the ricotta-orange sandwich. The ricotta was way too fresh. "They're better than your usual."
Jasper stiffened, before smiling. "You know where. Though I will admit, he stared at me like I'd grown two heads and then called Kate over to make sure his hearing aids were working."
"Part of his business is a deli," Steve said.
"I know," Jasper agreed. "I told him, I just needed the finger sandwiches."
"It explains why I had the ingredients for macaroons without needing to go to the store," Peggy said.
"You think he bought them for you?" Phil asked.
Steve nodded. "We've been forced into communal living."
"Forced?" Jasper asked, before Phil could.
Steve shrugged.
"Natasha and Clint are essentially platonic life partners," Peggy said. "Natasha shops, Clint cooks. They're happy to grab our things as well and we help out with them. It's nice in some ways… We all have fireplaces, so they were all cleaned at the same time."
"Basically means, I never have to clean a toilet again as long as I continue to help with the laundry across the houses," Steve said. "Which is fine, Clint texts when he starts his load, but the man hates folding or ironing."
"Explains why the uniforms are t-shirts and jeans," Peggy said.
"Bucky wishes he’d realized Clint's love of all things purple," Steve said with a grin.
"He likes purple?" Jasper asked.
"He's wearing it now," Phil said, looking out the window.
"Yes, his hearing aids are purple, the t-shirts are purple, among other things," Steve said.
Phil reached out and grabbed another sandwich, eying it. That was ham, some brie, and a slice of apple. He bit into it. "He does have decent taste."
"You nervous about your bet?" Jasper asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Slightly, because he has a full kitchen at that bakery of his," Phil admitted. He looked over at Peggy. "I could use some help."
"Sorry, Phil," Peggy said. "I'm staying neutral. I think you're both in the wrong. However, I've always let you use my kitchen as it's bigger than yours. No reason to stop now and I'll make sure he stays away."
"Thank you," Phil said. He glanced over at Jasper.
"I like food, but you know I'm horrible in the kitchen," Jasper stated.
"I'm well aware."
"You find people?" Steve asked.
"Daisy is always willing to help and Melinda said she would, if Peggy said 'no,’" Phil said.
"You had to ask me?"
"She knows it's important and you're the better baker," Phil said.
"There's bacon in this," Steve said, staring at his sandwich. "With peanut butter."
"Works," Jasper said, taking a bite out of a similar sandwich.
Phil reached out to take one, noting the bit of a banana on top. "Hardly traditional."
"Tastes good though," Jasper said.
Phil bit into it and nodded reluctantly. The final sandwich finger was a traditional smoked salmon on pumpernickel. Bread that Phil was fairly sure had been baked this morning.
The sandwiches were cleared away and the scones brought out. Phil had made a classic buttermilk scone with fresh strawberry jam and a currant scone with clotted cream. They were halfway through the scone course when the back door banged open.
"Hey, we're shooting," a voice yelled from the door.
"Thank you, Francis," Peggy called back.
"Got it," Steve called back.
"And the guests?" Francis asked.
"Let him know you heard him, it's part of our safety procedure."
"Got it," Jasper said.
"Understood?" Phil said, giving a look toward Steve and Peggy, demanding an explanation.
"They built a range in the back," Peggy said softly. "Goes through all three yards. So they have to let us know they're shooting, so we can be cautious when going outside. They'll fence it in this spring."
There were some footsteps and Phil turned to see Francis peering around the corner. "Mr. Sitwell?"
"Francis," Jasper said, taking a sip of his tea. "Don't shoot your eye out."
Francis sneered as he turned. "We're not using BB guns." A few moments later the door slammed again and Peggy and Steve started laughing.
"I'm sorry," Peggy said, grabbing a napkin and blotting her eyes. "They're all archery crazed over there and I actually think Francis is the worst of the bunch."
"His face when you said that, oh, he thinks you're the dumbest idiot ever," Steve said.
"I knew it'd get him to leave quickly," Jasper said with a shrug.
"It's a good thing your car is in the front," Peggy said. "Or he'd be claiming there was an accident."
"Clint wouldn't buy it," Steve said. "He's taught his kid a lot and I think the moment he suspects an accident is not an accident is the moment the makeshift range comes down and the bows get locked up."
"True," Peggy agreed.
"You two genuinely like them," Phil said, staring at them.
"Yes," Peggy said. "I know you two got started on a very bad foot, but honestly you two have a lot of similarities and if you can put this feud behind you, I'd think you would be friends."
Steve nodded. "You both care for your kids, like to bake, and your kids have horrible grandparents."
Jasper gave Steve a look at that.
"I'm pretty sure if Clint's ex-wife wasn't still alive, they'd have tried to get custody of Francis, but since Bobbi is content with Clint having full custody, well they won't go against her."
"Lovely to know the Lewis' opinions on single fathers is shared amongst others," Phil stated, before taking a sip of his tea.
"Why, Phil," Jasper said. "That was downright bitchy. I don't think I've heard that tone from you in almost ten years."
Phil glared at him.
"My old college friend does still exist under there," Jasper said. He looked at Peggy and Steve. "I'm not sure if it's the feud or just Barton's finger sandwiches, but I like it."
"Jasper, shut up," Phil said, sighing and looking at the amused faces of Peggy and Steve. Peggy stood, clearing away the scones and going to grab the tray of petit fours and cookies. She refilled the tea as well.
"You do have a plan, right, Phil?" Peggy asked. "Clint's not a bad baker."
"Anyone can make cupcakes and cookies," Phil said. "Not everyone can make Yule Log Cakes, meringue, or macarons."
"Or your croquembouche," Jasper said. "Which you refuse to make one, just for me."
"You can buy the ones I make for the bake sale," Phil replied. "It's a show stopper."
"It is," Steve said. "One you've done every year. Remember, Natasha knows your moves."
"He can bake simple things, I'll give him that, but a croquembouche is difficult," Phil pointed out. "I haven't seen him do anything to demonstrate that he's capable of it. Plus if Fisk and Silvermane show up at the same time, it'll turn into a bidding war. We made so much money that year."
"If you say so," Peggy said, a bit of warning. "Just be careful."
Later that Day
Clint followed James into his house. "Hey, is it okay for James to come back?"
"Yep, thanks," Peggy said, her voice coming from the kitchen. Clint followed her voice to find her washing up from her event.
"Have a nice tea party?" Clint asked.
"We did," Peggy said, glancing back. She shook her head. "And what do you have there, Mr. Barton?"
"Pot pie," Clint said, opening her fridge and setting it inside. "Your kid is a bottomless pit like mine. He'll be hungry in an hour."
He grabbed a towel and started drying the dishes in the rack.
"You don't have to do that," Peggy said, trying to wave him away.
"Well, I want to," Clint said.
Peggy stared at him for a moment. "Yes, we discussed the Winter Festival Bake Sale. I'm not helping him, but he's using my kitchen, because it's bigger. The Barton-Barnes and Romanov Brigade are banned that day, understood?"
"Yes, ma'am," Clint said. "Though I really didn't come here to pump you for information. I came to drop a pie off and I know you don't like drying the dishes."
Peggy studied him before nodding and going back to work.
Clint was quiet for a bit, but he couldn't resist asking. "Really though? I figured he must have a great kitchen."
"He's a single dad, whose ex died. He'd love to upgrade his kitchen, but… legal fees."
"Legal fees?" Clint asked, curious.
"His wife's parents didn't think he was fit to raise Darcy by himself, they fought for custody," Peggy said.
"Fuck, that sucks," Clint said, because he seemed like a decent dad. Stuck up and snobby, but Francis said his kid seemed cool. "Man, I bet Morses' would have done that to me in a heartbeat if something had happened to Bobbi."
"Not now?" Peggy asked.
"Well, I've had him all these years and I haven't had a teacher tell me that he's been a behavior problem yet."
"That's true," Peggy agreed. "Phil's a good guy and yes, he's a little rigid, but you would be too if you had CPS breathing down your neck for multiple years."
"Shit, no?" Clint asked.
"Yep, they weren't kind," Peggy said. "So yes, and if having a full tea takes his mind off of things while his daughter is with them, well, we'll be having a full tea and not one word from you about it."
"Yes, ma'am," Clint agreed. "By the way, you look very nice."
"Thank you and if that's your way of asking, did we dress up for it, the answer is yes."
Clint grinned as he worked. "Francis said you looked like you were going to church and that Mr. Sitwell doesn't know him at all. At which point I reminded him, he was supposed to stay by the back door."
"He wanted confirmation that it was indeed Jasper that he heard," Peggy said with a smile. "You Bartons trust your eyes more than your ears."
"Well, gee, I wonder why that is," Clint said, looking over at her.
"It's a nice tea set," Clint said.
"Thank you, they were my grandmothers'."
"As much as I hate the idea of it, I can appreciate the legacy of these," Clint said, holding up the cup and gently setting it down.
"And why do you hate the idea of it?" Peggy asked. "Your sandwiches were a hit, even if you sent us peanut butter and bacon."
Clint grinned. "I googled sandwich ideas. Jasper said I had to have the salmon, but I could do three other kinds."
"They were all very good, but you're avoiding my question."
"It's all high class," Clint said. "And hell, I guess you don't know it. My parents were poor. Whatever money we had, my father drank away. And things did not get better when he drove the car into a tree with momma in it. My brother and I went from orphanage to orphanage and I learned if I helped in the kitchen, I might get a little extra food. Eventually, I got adopted by a family that traveled with the circus over the summer, and they put the bow in my hands."
"So because of your upbringing, you don't feel comfortable?" Peggy asked.
"Nope, and every time I tried I got knocked down, so I learned their tricks and learned to outshoot 'em," Clint said. "And I'd much rather make the 'common' food that everyone loves than some hoity toity desert."
"How much has Natasha told you about Phil's previous bake sales?" Peggy asked, not looking at him.
Clint studied her for a moment and realized what she was asking. "The croquembouche? I can make one. Don't do it very often, but I've made 'em for Morses and they did not insult it, which is actually high praise from them."
Peggy nodded.
"It wasn't right what he did," Clint said.
"No," Peggy said, turning to look at him. "But it wasn't right for you to have made a fool of him in public. You could have asked me and I would have arranged a sit down between you two and acted as a mediator. Phil Coulson is a good man and he's my friend. When this fool bet of yours is over, it had better stay over. Understood?"
Clint swallowed as he nodded. "I…"
"I'm not getting involved," Peggy said. "Phil has used my kitchen in the past and I'm not going to hinder him by banning him."
"I understand," Clint said.
They stared at one another for a long moment.
"Hey…" Steve said as he entered the room. "Oh, oh no…" He backed away slowly.
"It's fine, Steve, Clint and I are done with the discussion," Peggy said, stepping away from the sink and drying her hands on her apron. She grabbed a piece of tupperware from a cupboard and started putting a few things in it, before shoving it into Clint's hands. "Thank you for the pie, Clint, have some leftover scones. Phil always makes extras."
Clint managed a pout. "No macaroons?"
Peggy laughed. "They vanished with Jasper. How that man isn't overweight, I will never know."
"Genetics," Steve said. "You should join us next time."
"I'm not tea party material," Clint said, backing away. "I wrote instructions on the tinfoil. James helped me make that one."
"You got my kid to bake?" Peggy asked.
"I got your kid to use my stand mixer and chop vegetables," Clint said. "Not sure if that qualifies."
"Thank you for keeping him busy," Peggy said.
"No problem, not like you haven't taken care of mine," Clint said, heading out of the house.
Day of the Winter Festival Bake Sale - After the Kiss
Fury strode into the gym as the yelling came to an abrupt end. There was a shocked silence that had Fury quickening his step, because, well, leave it to Phil to get into a fight with a guy that could shoot him with arrows. Instead of Phil on the ground bleeding, he found Phil tangled up with Barton. Fury mentally counted to five, because honestly Phil probably needed it.
"What are you doing in my gym?" Fury snapped, voice echoing in the room.
"Technically it's my gym," Maria said, appearing at his side.
Fury glanced over at her, but her eyes were staring straight ahead.
"Where do you two think you are? The Moulin Rouge?" Fury asked, getting a few titters of laughter from those staring at the site. Surprisingly, Barton had positioned himself in front of Phil and Fury was fairly sure that Phil's hand was still on Barton's pert ass.
"Romanov," Fury said, after scanning the room. "Take the Barton Boy with you. Carter, take care of my goddaughter."
"You two," Fury said, advancing on the pair again. "I don't care whose house you go to, but you're going to figure your shit out. I will ban both of your asses from all school events, and yes, Phil, that includes graduation eight years from now, if I ever catch you having another verbal sparring match in one of my buildings, or if I spot a hand below the belt or a tongue in a mouth it doesn't belong in. Do I make myself clear?"
"And you are…?" Barton asked.
"I'm a well loved superintendent that's going nowhere, despite plenty of offers," Fury growled. "You can't follow directions, you won't be at your boy's graduation."
"What if…" Barton started.
"I don't care who starts it, I'm ending it. One round of verbal sparring and neither of you will be allowed on district premises until your children's children have graduated."
"Understood, sir," Phil said. Barton's eyes were elsewhere, but he nodded once.
"I've got my eye on you two, now get out of my gym. You're temporarily banned starting now until Monday morning." The two didn't move until he barked. "Move!" Then they scrambled, untangling, but still holding hands as they scurried from the gym. Nick watched them go, before sighing. He looked at Maria.
"I was out of town during the Harvest Celebration, my niece was being born," Maria stated.
Nick nodded, glancing around the gym to make sure that the kids were going with the people he'd assigned them too. A second sweep revealed that it was mostly teachers and a few PTA left, who were shaking their heads.
He smiled as he saw Jasper approach with Wade following behind him, watching the kids exit the gym.
"Sir," Jasper said, offering him an envelope.
Nick took it and tucked into his jacket pocket, ignoring Maria's curious look.
"Oh," Wade said, looking at Jasper. "Hey Sitwell."
"Yes Wade?" Jasper said with the gravity of a man going to his death.
"Clint and Phil sitting in a tree," Wade began singing loudly and off-key. "F-U-C-K-I-N-G, First comes Jaz, then comes the cash, Then comes Sitwell's tears in a baby carriage, tryin' pay bills, eatin' fast food, while Winnin' Wade does the hula dance."
Jasper made a face, but before he could say anything Wade started singing it again. Death would have a kinder fate and really, it was probably Jasper's own fault for taking the bet and giving Wade the odds. Nick took the opportunity to exit as Maria attempted to remind Wade that she knew what Wade was spelling and it was not school appropriate.
Wade paused in his singing to say. "The Children are gone… Clint and Phil…"
Yep, definitely retreat time.
Valentine's Day
Phil frowned as he looked at the Barton house. Clint left the bakery at 2:30 and left closing to either Bucky or Kate or the new girl they'd hired, America. The feud had been good for business. Clint picked up the kids and brought them home and took care of them until their parents trickled home and claimed them. Darcy had been asked to join in early January to work on homework together, which honestly Phil didn't mind as he was able to get more of his own work done.
No Clint and no kids had Phil frowning.
"He's not home yet!"
Phil turned to see Francis leaning on the railing at the Carter-Rogers home. Phil glanced back at the house, before heading over there. He refused to yell at Francis from porch to porch. Well, it certainly answered his question as to where Darcy was.
"Do you know what day it is?" Francis asked as Phil climbed the steps.
"Valentine's Day," Phil answered as they entered the home.
"Exactly, those three have been the last ones home all week," Francis said with a grumble. "Besides, aren't you supposed to be celebrating next week?"
"We are," Phil said. "Still I haven't seen him in a week with Steve dropping Darcy off and I thought it would be nice to see him."
Francis snorted, then studied Phil. "Do you know how to make pizza crust?"
"No, but I'm sure we can find a recipe online," Phil said as he stepped into the kitchen.
"Dad has a recipe at the house," Francis said.
"He's spoiled us for other pizza," James said, looking up from the iPad. "We thought we'd make dinner for everyone who isn't going out tonight."
Phil frowned and looked at James. "And where are your parents?"
"There was a crisis with one of mom's students," James answered. "Dad is still at work. We can be trusted for a couple of hours. Our instructions were to stick together and stay here. Mamachka is at the bakery, where it's been all hands on deck all week."
"Peggy and Steve have reservations tonight," Yelena said. "It's going to be a pizza night and we wanted to surprise them with the pizza."
Phil eyed them. "Francis, do you have a key to your house?"
"Yes," Francis said.
"You and Ava go get it and whatever else you think you might need," Phil said, unbuttoning his shirt cuffs to roll up his sleeves. "Hurry."
The two grinned and took off. He looked over at Darcy. "You should have texted me, I could have taken off."
Darcy shrugged. "Didn't think about it."
His phone rang a few minutes later and there was something familiar about the number. "Hello?"
"Hey," Francis said.. "So I'm putting you on speaker. Ava is going to call out ingredients."
James moved over to an open cupboard. "Ready!"
Ingredients were called out and located in one of the two houses. Then came a request for toppings which were discussed and then located or alternatives made. They came back and then the kids got to work. Phil helped where he was needed, but let the kids conduct themselves. It was when they were getting out pans that Phil stopped them.
"Do you really need three pizzas?" Phil asked Francis.
"Are you staying for dinner or just giving him a quick kiss and leaving?" Francis asked.
"Yeah, Dad, how can you treat your boyfriend like that?" Darcy said.
"Fair," Phil said.
"And Kate has a test tonight, so she'll be back late," Francis said.
"Alright," Phil relented.
The first home was Peggy, who eyed the kitchen. "Suddenly I regret having dinner reservations."
"You shouldn't," James said. "Dad wants to take you dancing."
"True," Peggy said. "Phil, do you mind if I take a shower? I'm running behind…"
"No, I just wanted to see Clint," Phil said. "Discovered these guys were home alone and…"
"And Darcy's with them," Peggy said with a sigh. "I'm sorry, Phil, we really need to just add you to the group chat, though I'm not sure if you want all the 'Going to the store, what do you want texts'?"
"You can wait a bit to add me," Phil said, recognizing that it was a bit of commitment to Clint and the clan he'd formed. He wasn't quite all in, at least not yet. He was pretty sure that it would be soon though. Only a couple of months and he was attached.
Peggy nodded. "I will try to do better next time, it was just… it wasn't a good day."
"It's alright. We have responsible kids," Phil said. "Though they might have tried baking without one of us."
"We used the stove," Francis said. "We weren't using the oven. I've made boxed mac and cheese before. Same thing - just boiling tomatoes instead of pasta. Plus, you know, the tomatoes hide the blood."
Phil closed his eyes and reminded himself that if Clint had made the joke, he'd find it charming.
"Not helpful, Francis," Peggy said. "Thank you for your understanding, Phil." With that she went upstairs. Steve was the next one home and then Bucky and Natasha, who walked in the kitchens and frowned.
"Pizza?" Natasha asked.
"Surprise, we made you dinner!" Ava said.
"Mostly made," Yelena said. "We have to bake it when we go to our house."
"Which we should do," Natasha said. "Because I'm going to sit and then I'm not going to want to move."
"Same, I'll take the kitchen and supervise the cooking though," Bucky said. "C'mon, you three, let's get out of Steve and Peggy's hair."
"Dad with you?" Francis asked.
The two paused. "There was an issue during closing that's delayed him, he'll be home as soon as he can," Natasha said. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you wanted to wait at his house, though you can follow us if you want."
Yelena and James grabbed a pizza each as Ava grabbed their bags. The family of five headed out.
Phil waited for Peggy and Steve to come down before ushering the others over to Clint's house. It was becoming a bit like a second home. The pizzas were stashed in the fridge and Francis found the pizza stones and set them up in the oven for later.
"Homework?" Phil asked.
"All done," Darcy said. She looked over at Francis. "Smash Brothers?"
"Definitely," Francis said, going over to the TV and turning it on. Phil settled on one end of the couch to watch as they played the video game. After the first round, Phil texted Clint and let him know where they were, but there was no answer.
Kate showed up after a half hour and they baked two of the pizzas, one for her and one for the kids. Then she joined Darcy and Francis in the game. The sound of the garage door going up had everyone looking toward the door. The door opened as Francis got up and headed into the kitchen. Clint appeared a few moments later, looking utterly haggard and carrying an odd package… No, that was a dog.
"Is that a dog?" Kate asked.
"Yeah," Clint said. "Grab a couple of blankets would you?"
Kate got up to do so.
"Is he okay?" Darcy asked, gesturing toward the bandages.
"Well, he made it out of surgery," Clint said, setting him down in the nest that Kate built. "He's a little out of it still."
He stretched and then glanced around the room. "Hey, Phil."
"Clint," Phil said.
"Is that the Bakery stray?" Francis asked, coming into the room. "What happened to him?"
"Got hit by a car," Clint said, going over to drop onto the couch. "Took him to an emergency vet. He's not out of the woodwork yet, but… we now have a dog."
"Cool," Francis said. "Not like we haven't been trying to get him to come to us for the last few weeks."
Clint nodded. "Yeah." his eyes narrowed. "You should be going to bed."
Francis rolled his eyes. "I'm baking your pizza. Besides Darcy is still here and Phil."
"Your boyfriend," Darcy reminded him.
"I am aware Phil is my boyfriend," Clint said, slumping into him. "Who smells very nice."
"Thank you," Phil said.
"What day of the week is it again?" Clint asked.
"Friday," Kate answered.
"Cool, hey Phil, you and Darcy want to crash here tonight. I got a spare room for Darcy, you can bunk with me."
Phil felt his cheeks redden as Darcy squeaked. He glanced over at her to see her nodding.
"You don't have any pajamas," Phil pointed out. "Or a toothbrush."
"Spare toothbrush in the bathroom," Clint said. "Pajamas would be more difficult, but text Nat."
"Nat has no intention of moving," Phil stated. He looked over at Francis. "Did you set a timer?"
"Yep," Francis said.
"We could swap kids, too," Clint said. "Send Darcy over there and have James come over here, if the whole boy-girl thing bothers you."
Darcy snorted. "Francis likes a different girl in Mrs. Carter's class."
Francis glared at her. "I told you that in secret!"
"Ugh," Clint said. "I'm too tired to question my kid. Phil, make decisions, you're in charge."
"We can stay," Phil said, stroking Clint's back, which only further encouraged Clint to turn into an octopus.
"I probably have a spare shirt, she can borrow," Kate volunteered. "Glad you're okay, Barton. Bakery is closed, right?"
"Fuck yeah, it is. All weekend, I need a break."
"Got it," Kate said, heading to her room. "C'mon Darce, let's find you something to wear. Francis, go make sure the bathroom is clean and find a spare toothbrush for Darcy."
They all headed out, leaving Phil alone with Clint and a doped up dog. He almost thought Clint was asleep on him until Clint asked. "I thought we weren't celebrating until next week?"
"We aren't," Phil said. "Decided I missed you and wanted to see you. I hope you don't mind."
Clint looked at him. "You're a lot better looking than those idiots that came in last minute looking for something, anything."
Phil smiled. "You look tired."
"This town has decided that baked goods are the best valentine's day gift and hey, I mean, they're not wrong just… they also decided to come to me. I'm exhausted."
"I can tell," Phil said.
"Next year, I'm recruiting you," Clint said.
"Oh, you are, are you?"
"Definitely," Clint said, leaning in and giving him a kiss, before settling back against Phil's chest.
Really, Phil ended up having the perfect viewpoint as both Clint and the dog's head lifted up, sniffing as the scent of pizza wafted into the room. Phil bit his lip as both dog and man had similar looks on their faces.
"Is that pizza?"