I Don't Have to Leave?

“What?” Steve asked, his brows knitting in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Realisation seemed to dawn on some of the team.

“Peter,” Nat whispered and Steve’s eyes blew wide. “Spider-Man is Peter, isn’t he?”

Tony hung his hand in shame. He couldn’t believe what he’d just done. This was not his secret to share. It was Peter’s.

God, Peter.

“Oh my god,” Sam muttered. Bucky took a seat on one of the stools, his head in his hands.

“Is he okay, Stark?” Wanda asked and Tony sucked in a painful breath.

“He’s with Helen, she’s operating on him now.”

The one saving grace he had was that nobody had started yelling at Tony for recruiting Peter. Not yet, at least. They were more concerned for his health.

It seemed like Tony spoke too soon.

“What were you thinking about letting him be a part of this?” Sam bit out and anger flared in Tony again.

“Did you not hear me on the comms say that Spider-Man was to have nothing to do with that battle? That is wasn’t his fight?” Tony spoke through gritted teeth.

“He means why did you let him become Spider-Man in the first place? Why did you bring him to Germany?” Nat asked. “If you knew he was this young—he’s your son, Stark.”

“Don't you think I know that?" Tony bit out. "He became Spider-Man without telling me. He’d been going out on patrols for months before I figured it out. I couldn’t stop him then.” Tony tried to give them a quick explanation that would earn him the least amount of questions.

“And to think we thought you were a good father. Child soldiers, that’s the stuff Hydra did.” Bucky was the next to talk and Tony’s blood ran cold.

“Bucky don’t—”

“I was their captive for 70 years. I didn’t give a shit about what they did to me. But when they’d walk past with—with kids and I was powerless and they turned them into soldiers and made them into something they weren’t, they’d try to give them powers and I knew it was wrong but there was nothing I could do. And here you are, you’re supposed to be one of the good guys. And you’re just doing the same goddamn thing—”

Tony’s eyes fixed on Bucky. “I’m not going to begin telling you how wrong you are.” His voice wavered a little with his anger. “You don’t get to judge me on my parenting techniques, not when your actions almost made him an orphan.” Tony was speaking to them as though Peter was his son and he felt guilty for doing so. He wasn’t Peter’s father, Peter deserved so much more than him, but he couldn’t help it.

His words seemed to work, silencing the group.

“Now if you excuse me, I’m going to go see if my son’s okay.”

With that, Tony left the kitchen and got back into the elevator. He pushed the emergency button and it shuddered to a stop. He leant back against the cold metal wall and let out a sigh. He lifted a hand to his eyes, rubbing them.

Tony was so mad. He was mad at everything. He was mad at Norman Osborn for creating those soldiers. He was mad at Steve for letting Peter fight. He was mad at Bucky for insinuating that Peter was a child soldier. He was mad at Peter for disobeying his orders, his very explicit orders. But most of all he was mad at himself. What had he expected to happen? He knew Peter had a hero complex, he knew that the kid wouldn’t listen. He knew he had a rebellious streak. That still didn’t mean that Tony was going to let him off the hook, though. He was a kid and he broke a rule and he had to face the consequences. But Tony had told the team Peter’s secret. And that was one thing that Tony could never forgive himself for.

Boss, Helen said that they have moved Peter to a recovery room. His surgery went well, but he needs to be monitored for the next few days.

Tony stood up properly and pressed the button again. The elevator finished its journey and dropped him back off at the Med-Bay. He tried to contain his anger as he walked down the corridor to Peter’s room. He would not be like his dad. His dad was abusive and horrible and every memory he had of the man was horrible, tainted with tears or smashed glass or a broken arm. He would not do that to Peter. He couldn’t.

He pushed the door open, a speech prepared in his head for what he was going to say.

That all went out the window when he saw Peter lying in the bed. Suddenly he was transported back to the accident, walking into the hospital room and seeing the kid lying there with tubes attached to him and a bandage around his head. There was a massive patch of gauze across his chest and bruises littered his ribs. When he breathed his chest rattled. Tony stumbled over to his side and took a seat in the uncomfortable plastic chair.

Tony was so worried. He was so unbelievably worried. But at the same time he was so angry. He was seething. Somehow he felt both emotions equally simultaneously. He huffed to himself.

Parenting.

Peter’s eyes fluttered open after a few minutes. He turned his head slowly and his eyes met Tony’s.

Tony melted immediately but reminded himself to remain firm. Peter was in this situation because he didn’t listen. He didn’t listen, and he almost got himself killed.

But he was still just a kid. He was his kid.

God, Tony was so conflicted.

Peter seemed to know that he’d done something wrong because he didn’t say a word. He just waiting for Tony.

“Bottom line is you’re gonna be fine, Peter.” The boy flinched when Tony used his proper name. He never did that. It was always either Pete or kiddo or Underoos or some other weird but oddly cute nickname that Tony thought of. None of this Peter nonsense.

Peter really had fucked up.

“You have a bad concussion, you were stabbed, you have a few broken ribs and a lot of bad bruising. Helen’s keeping you here for observation but you should heal fully in a couple of days.” Tony spoke with very little emotion, trying to keep himself in check. He wasn’t his father. He wasn’t Howard, but he had the potential to be. And that thought alone scared the shit out of Tony. “You made a big mistake. You didn’t listen to me, you didn’t do as I asked, you disobeyed my orders and you put yourself in danger. You could have died. I expected you to be responsible and learn when it’s not your fight, Peter.”

He watched as tears started to fall down Peter’s cheeks and onto the pillow beneath his head. Tony tried to stay strong.

“As of now, you’re banned from going out in the suit for a month.” Peter opened his mouth to protest but Tony kept on talking. “Helen had to cut you out of it, and I won’t make you another one until your grounding is up. From now on you get driven to and from school, no going to Ned’s house after school, no hanging out anywhere but here on the weekends, you got it?”

Peter nodded slowly. Tony wondered whether he was being a little too harsh on him, but he shook his head internally. No, the kid had messed up. The kid had to learn from his mistakes so that it didn’t happen again. Tony was being firm but fair. He was being fair.

“Now I have to apologise because I’ve done something that you asked me not to do, and let me say now that I won’t forgive myself for what I did.” Tony looked Peter in the eye. He had to do this. He had to be truthful. Had to get this off his chest or it would eat him alive. “I talked to the rest of the team and they were asking questions about Spider-Man and I—I got angry and I told them you were my son. They—they all know that you’re Spider-Man. I know you didn’t want to tell them just yet and I know that I said I’d never betray you like that and I did and I—I’ll never stop being sorry. And I can understand if you don’t want to speak to me or if you don’t want to see me. So, if you need anything, ask FRIDAY to get Helen. A-And if you need me, tell FRIDAY.”

Tony ran his hand over Peter’s head and the bandage that was wrapped around it. The wave of emotions he felt in that moment were hard to describe. He knew the kid was angry with him for grounding him for a month. All he wanted to do was hug him but he didn’t know if he’d be wanted after he’d outed Peter to the team. He bit his lip, trying to stop the tears coming to his eyes. He’d ruined the one good thing in his life.

With that, Tony brushed a couple of tears from Peter’s cheeks and left him.

Tony locked himself away in his lab, working on Norman Osborn.

Osborn was a known associate of Richard Parker, Peter’s father, and Tony knew they’d been looking at cross-species genetics for years. It seemed that Osborn wanted to start up the research again, but this time gear it more towards specific enhancements. There was a woman in the battle who was bullet proof, her skin was like metal. There was another who regrew limbs when they were blown off—that was something Tony had seen before. He wondered whether Osborn had gone looking for a new partner and found one in Aldrich Killian.

Ultimately though, Tony was doing something, anything, to distract him from the possibilities, from the ‘what if’s. Peter could have died. If he wasn’t Spider-Man he would have died. His head would have hit the ground and he would have died instantly. He would have died of the stab wound. He would have died at the loss of blood had Tony been a few minutes late.

Peter could have died. And Tony didn’t know what he’d do if that were ever to happen.

So he did what he always did and he distracted himself with work. He dismissed FRIDAY’s reminders to stop and eat or to take a nap or to stop drinking coffee by the gallon. He blocked all calls and locked the doors for everyone else. Nobody was allowed in the lab, not when he was like this.

He’d spent the better part of his life developing technology and making suits and yet the people he loved could still be hurt.

He was pathetic.

“Anyone checked in with Tony? We haven’t heard anything from him for a couple of days.” Steve asked, cooking everyone’s breakfast.

Nat shook her head. “I tried to go see him last night but he’s locked himself away in his lab. FRIDAY said he’s not letting anyone in.”

“At what point do we get concerned about him?”

Nat tilted her head from side to side. “The last stint he pulled in his lab he was gone for four days. I think maybe after three we put our foot down and call Pepper or Rhodey.”

She could tell that Steve wasn’t happy, but he took it. Out of the ones that were left, Nat knew Tony the best.

“I’m gonna go talk to Peter today,” Bucky said, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Why?” Sam asked.

Bucky shrugged. “I feel like I need to hear his side of it. I kind of went off at Tony the other day without hearing the whole story. I wanna talk to the kid and see what he says.”

Steve nodded. “Okay, fair enough. Has Tony been to see Peter at all? Do we know?”

“FRIDAY?”

Boss went to see Peter after he was moved to his recovery room in the Med-Bay on the day of the incident. He stayed for approximately twenty minutes and then left. He has not been to the Med-Bay since.

“Something’s seriously wrong.” Sam said, shaking his head. “The first thing we said when we came back here and we saw them together was that Tony was a good dad. He wouldn’t do this, something’s going on.”
Everyone else nodded in agreement.

“Let me go see the kid and ask him what happened. Maybe they had an argument or something. We can go from there.” Bucky said, draining his mug of coffee.

“Okay, let us know when you’re done.”

So Bucky went off to the Med-Bay to see Peter. He found the room quickly and knocked on the door. He waited for Peter to say it was okay before he stuck his head into the room.

“Hey, Pete. Is it alright if I come in?” Peter shifted in his bed sheets and nodded his head. Bucky walked in and settled down in the chair next to the bed. “H-How’re you doing?”

Peter looked horrible. Like, aside from the injuries, he looked horrible. Bucky couldn’t decipher whether he was angry or upset or both. Probably both.

“I’ve been better,” Peter admitted and Bucky let out a chuckle.

“Yeah, so I’ve heard.” Bucky shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I just—I want you to know that nobody’s gonna say anything to anyone about you being Spider-Man. We know the importance of keeping your secret identity, and we want you to be safe just as much as your dad does.”

Peter looked at his hands clasped in his lap. “He’s not my dad,” Peter whispered.

“What?” Bucky leaned in a little to hear him better.

“He’s not my dad,” Peter said a little louder.

Okay. That wasn’t what Bucky was expecting. “What do you mean he’s not your dad? Of course he’s your dad.”

“No, he’s not. I—he found me when I started getting on YouTube for being Spider-Man,” Peter stopped for a moment. “YouTube is this streaming site where people can upload videos and stuff—”

“I know what YouTube is, Peter.”

“Right, sorry. So he found me and he said he wanted to help me. I was—I was patrolling in a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants and it wasn’t safe and he came and he made me a suit that would protect me.” Peter sniffed. “And he took me to Germany and we fought you guys and then we came back and I—he was my mentor. Kind of a superhero-in-training thing. I would come here a few times a week and we’d work in the lab and update my suit. A-And then my aunt and I were in a car crash and she—she died and he took me in. He’s my legal guardian, he’s—he’s not my dad.”

Peter finished his explanation and let out a deep breath.

Bucky listened to everything he said, and shook his head. “No. I—I get what you’re saying, kid. He might not be biologically related to you, but that man is your father. He cares about you like a dad would, he does all the same things that dads do. He loves you like a dad loves his son.”

“I’m not so sure,” Peter muttered. “Not anymore.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I don’t think he wants me anymore,” Peter admitted. “I think I pushed it too far this time. I—I don’t think he wants me anymore.”

“Kid,” Bucky reached forward and rested his hand on Peter’s shoulder. “If there’s one thing I know about Tony, it’s that he loves you.” Peter shook his head again and Bucky sighed. “He told Sam that if his son died it was his fault. He thinks of you as his son, Peter.”

“And then he came down here and he grounded me for a month and said that I could have died and I needed to be more responsible. Then he said that he told everyone I was Spider-Man and said if I needed anything I had to get FRIDAY to ask Helen. He hasn’t been down here since. If he cared about me, if he wanted me, he’d be here. When I was in the accident with May, he was there. He didn’t leave my side in the hospital and he took me back to the Compound and he was there. He cared. But now, what? He just takes off? That’s it? Makes sure I’m not dead, punishes me, and leaves.” Peter grew angry. With himself or with Tony, he wasn’t sure. Maybe both. “And now Queens doesn’t have Spider-Man for a month. A whole month! Do you know how many people I help, Bucky? That’s not fair. It’s not fair to the people there. They don’t have anyone else. They don’t have Iron Man. They have Spider-Man… or, they had Spider-Man.”

Bucky sighed. “Listen, kid. I think you and Tony need to talk things through. I think there’s a lot of misunderstanding here. Did Helen say when you could get out of the Med-Bay?”

“Yeah, she said I was good to go. Take it easy for a few days and I should be fine. No strenuous activities.” Bucky nodded.

“Okay, come on. I’ll take you up to the penthouse and get you settled. Then I’m gonna go and grab Tony from the lab, try and get him out of there.”

Peter let out a sigh but nodded. “Alright, fine.”

Twenty minutes later, Peter was settled back up in the penthouse. Bucky had gone back down to see the others and to try talk to Tony, which left him alone in his room. He looked around and saw one of the boxes from his old apartment in the corner of the room. With nothing better to do, Peter sat cross-legged on the floor and tugged open the cardboard box.

He rifled through a lot of junk. A lot of it was old t-shirts and bed sheets that had been in his closet. And then he reached the bottom of the box. Whatever it was, he pulled it out.

It was his old Spider-Man suit, the one he wore before Tony had found him and upgraded him. It was still in decent condition despite his fight with the Vulture.

And then he had an idea.

Queens needed Spider-Man. He knew that. They knew it, too. They needed him. Peter couldn’t give up his duties, his responsibilities, just because Tony had grounded him. That wasn’t fair. If he wanted to punish him he should take his phone away or something. Not this. This was too important to just take away.

Peter hurriedly made the split decision to break yet another rule. Well, it wasn’t an explicit rule, but he was sure he wasn’t supposed to do it. He was grounded, after all. Oh, and the fact that he was also not supposed to do any ‘strenuous activities’ since the whole accident-and-nearly-dying thing. But he slipped the suit on, fixing his old web-shooters onto his wrists, checking the canisters this time. He would always check the canisters now.

The window slid up and he jumped out into the cold air.

“Is there some sort of override program to get into Tony’s lab?” Bucky asked, stepping back onto the Avengers’ floor.

“FRIDAY?” Nat looked to the ceiling and asked.

There is a program that means I can unlock the lab doors. It can be activated when there is either an emergency related to Miss Potts, Sergeant Rhodes or Peter, or there is fear for Tony’s life.

“Well I think we can swing that, don’t you? He needs to hear what Peter had to say. I—I’m worried about him. He thinks that Tony doesn’t love him and he does’t want him anymore.” Bucky tried to quickly explain what had happened in his conversation with Peter, about him thinking that Tony regretted taking him in and that he didn’t want to see him.

Everyone immediately knows that there’s been some major misunderstanding somewhere down the line and they all agreed that Tony needed to know and they needed to sort it out before it got even worse.

Nat asked FRIDAY when Tony slept last.

Boss hasn’t slept since then night before the incident. I keep reminding him that he has to sleep, and he promised Miss Potts and Sergeant Rhodes the same thing. He has not followed my instructions.

“Alright, you think we can get into the lab then? Fear for Tony’s life and all?” Sam asked the ceiling.

There was a brief pause.

I believe that would be reasonable enough, yes.

The whole group went down to the lab. Steve and Bucky winced at the loud music that was blasting through the speakers. How the man wasn’t deaf yet, nobody knew.

“FRIDAY, mute.” Nat said as the doors slid open.

Tony immediately looked up from what he was working on when his playlist stopped abruptly.

“Tony,” Nat said quietly, trying not to startle him.

He growled in frustration. “FRIDAY, when I say don’t let anyone in the lab, I mean don’t let anyone in the lab. I created you why the hell can’t you do what I want you to do.”

I don’t apologise, Boss.

Tony snorted. “Don’t suppose you ever would.”

“Tony, this is important. There’s been some massive misunderstanding with Peter.” Steve explained and Tony’s head snapped up.

“What happened? Did you go and talk to him? Without me there? Did you make him upset? I swear to god, Rogers, if you made my kid cry I will string you up—”

“Nobody made Peter cry,” Nat supplied. “And nobody will be stringing anybody up anywhere, okay? We’re trying to help here.”

“I went to see Peter, Tony. I wanted to get his side of things. I know that I was quick to be angry with you when you let it slip that Peter was Spider-Man, so I went to talk to him. We had a little discussion, there was no yelling and no crying, everything was fine.” Bucky explained.

“Then why have you interrupted me? I’m trying to figure out what the fuck Norman Osborn’s doing.” Tony demanded.

“Because it was what Peter said about you that made us want to come and fix things.” Tony froze. What had Peter said about him? “Tony, he thinks you don’t want him anymore. He thinks you don’t love him, he thinks that you regret taking him in and that he’s just a pain for you to deal with.”

There was a stabbing pain through Tony’s chest and he stumbled back into his chair. It rolled a few yards away from the team before it stopped.

“He said that if you actually acred about him you’d be with him and you’d have gone to see him in the past two days. He thinks you don’t care about him, Tony.”

“H-How? Doesn’t he understand that I’m trying to cope here? A-And this is the only way I know how? Locking myself in my lab? Trying to fix things? To understand things?” Tony couldn’t handle the idea of Peter being hurt because of him, and he was trying to process that, but he’d done that at the expense of Peter.

“He’s just a kid, Tony. He needs reassurance, he needs a parent. He was in an accident and he was hurt. He needs comforting and he needs someone to be with him. He doesn’t need isolation from the one person he relies on.” Sam butted in and it made Tony feel even worse, if that was possible.

“Does he not know that I care about him more than I’ve ever cared about anyone else? D-Does he not realise that I thought he was going to die at one point and that—that it was too much for me to handle?” He thought out loud and Nat shook her head.

“Did you tell him that?” Tony was silent, telling them what they needed to know. “Exactly, Tony. He needs to know that. He’s a kid that’s had a lot of bad things happen to him in his short life. He was in an accident one night and his aunt died and his whole life was uprooted. To him, nothing is fixed, nothing is certain. He needs that reassurance. He needs it constantly, to know that his life isn’t gonna change overnight again any time soon.” Nat stepped forward and placed her hand on Tony’s shoulder.

He looked up at them with red eyes. How could he have been so stupid? He knew how vulnerable the kid was, knew how much he worried about everything. He was reminded of the first night that he’d spent in the Compound and how he’d broken down in Tony’s arms when he’d realised that he didn’t have to leave.

And Tony had gone to see Peter after the incident, grounded him, told him he’d spilled his secret, and then left. And he hadn’t gone back in the last two days.

“Where is he?”

“I moved him up to the penthouse earlier. Helen said he was good to go, all healed up. Just has to take it easy for a few days.”

Tony nodded and stood up. “I—I need to go and see him.”

“Yeah, you do.”

Tony left the team in the dust, getting into the elevator and going back up to the penthouse. He thought about going for a shower and changing first, but then decided against it. He didn’t want Peter to be worrying any longer than he had been over the past two days. He had to fix his mistake. He was a mechanic. He was good at fixing things.

He knocked on Peter’s door, waiting for the kid to tell him he could come in. But there was no affirmative. Tony knocked again and the same thing happened.

“Alright, Pete, I—I know you might not want to talk to me and I get that, I’ve been such a jerk for the past couple of days and I—look, I’m coming in, alright? So make sure that you’re dressed or whatever, I didn’t sign up to see you in the nude, kiddo.”

He grabbed the handle and opened the door to find an empty bedroom.

Tony checked the closet and bathroom first, and upon finding them both Peter-less, started to panic a little.

“FRIDAY, is Peter in the building?”

Peter left about an hour ago, Boss.

Tony’s blood froze. He’d run away.

There was a box of stuff in the corner that had been spilled out onto the floor. Old clothes and things from Peter’s apartment in Queens.

He’d packed a bag and he’d left. He’d actually left. Tony had fucked up one time too many and Peter was gone.

Okay, okay, breathe. Think clearly. Where would Peter go? Where did he have left?

Ned. He had Ned.

Tony fumbled around for his phone in his pocket and dialled Ned’s number. The phone kept ringing and ringing and Tony was about to hang up when he answered the phone.

“M-Mr Stark?” Ned’s voice shook a little and Tony was puzzled. Why did he seem nervous?

“Ned, hey. Have you seen Peter? He—he left the tower earlier and he didn’t tell anyone where he was going and we’re a little worried. Have you seen him? Has he talked to you at all?”

There was a long pause on the other end of the phone.

“N-No, Sir. I’m sorry, Peter hasn’t—he hasn’t texted or called me or anything.”

Tony sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Okay, thanks Ned. If—can you do me a favour? If he does get in touch can you tell him to come home? Tell him—tell him I’m worried about him.”

“I will, Sir.”

Tony hung up and sat down on the end of Peter’s bed.

God, he’d really fucked up here.