They were doing the last part of their trip to Ajak's old house by car, and surprisingly, Makkari had joined them in one of the backseats instead of just running there. She always thought that human transportation was too slow, always got impatient, wanted to go faster. But now, not only had she sat on the backseat, but she hadn't complained a single time.
She had her head on Druig's shoulder, and occasionally looked at him, breathed, smiled a bit. Not signing much, not having explained why she'd chosen to stay in the car with them this time. Phastos, who was driving, had some ideas about the why, specially considering the way she was looking at Druig and more specifically at where she knew Ikaris' lasers had hit him, but... he could be wrong. Those two, although he'd known them forever, could be quite a mystery sometimes.
The trip was nice, pleasant. There was some smooth jazz playing low, and the sky was pinks red that comes with the end of the day. They had prevented the end of this beautiful planet, of a lot of people they cared about, a whole civilisation. So why wasn't Makkari enjoying herself? This little moment they had themselves, with the soft seats and the rythmic vibration of the car, with some friends and a whole victory.
She should be feeling content and accomplished, but she wasn't. And Druig needed to know why.
What is wrong? he signed You seem... distressed.
She looked at him with an "are you kidding me" look.
Is it about Tiamut? Because you know we had no other choice, we couldn't just let all this people die in a fate they never chose. Or is it about Ikaris? Because yes, that hurt - he used to be one of us, and to think he did that to Ajak, and that he was willing to do it to any of us... And it's hard, isn't it? Because on the one hand you want to mourn him, but on the other hand you can't help but still hate him for all that he did. But can you hate a dead man that much? One that you used to trust, even love? It's hard. Complex.
Makkari raised one of her eyebrows, her "are you kidding me" expression reaching "are you REALLY FUCKING kidding me" dimensions, and really how could that man be smart and yet, get lost in something so simple?
She punched him in the shoulder, not holding back. Even if she hurt him a little, he kind of deserved to be hurt for this.
Seriously? she was pissed.
That hurt!
Good. I mean, Tiamut? Ikaris and his complex mourning? YOU DIED!! I saw you be buried in the ground by lasers, I read the words "he's gone", I... I couldn't feel you anymore. And you're wondering why I'm distressed?
Ohhh... yeah. That.
Every time I look away I think you will be gone when I look back, that maybe I imagined you still being alive, that you're really actually dead. I have to... to touch you to remember that you're still warm, that there's blood flowing, feel the vibrations from your heart. Because when I close my eyes, I can't help but see that horror, again and again. I watched you die in front of me, and you're asking me why I'm distressed?
There was a look of realisation in his pale blue eyes. A little nod. Now he was getting it.
Yes, I can see how that might be distressing.
Phastos was almost laughing at their resident "mind guy" being this oblivious. It was sweet in a way, though. Endearing.
And to be fair, Phastos himself had been also quite oblivious to the connection these two clearly had, that now, looking back, maybe had always been there, just not as... in-your-face graphic as Ikaris and Sersi had been. But they had always been sitting next to each other, had their own little inside jokes, shared food and clothes, and... seriously, how had he not seen it? Maybe being oblivious ran in the family.
We can sleep huddled together tonight, if you want? Druig signed.
Of course we are. I'm not letting you out of my sight in a while, mister. At least until I'm not afraid that you're gone every time I can't feel you near.
Druig made a little pout.
Sorry about that.
She couldn't stay mad at him for too long, when he was this sickeningly cute.
It's not your fault, you didn't choose to almost die.
"Had a good consequence, though, an upside, didn't it? His almost dying." Phastos said, from the front.
"It did?" Druig was confused. "What?"
"The amazing, show-stopping, never seen before ass whooping of Ikaris from her when she thought he'd killed you. I had never seen her so angry, or so badass."
Druig hadn't heard about this, they had been thinking about where to go, how to rebuild their lives, plans to move forward, that they hadn't discussed what had gone on that much. This was the first time he was hearing about her angry moment.
Really? You went on him that hard because you were broken hearted about losing me?
I wasn't just broken hearted, I was torn apart. Shattered. I had never ever felt pain like that before. And yeah, maybe I wanted Ikaris to pay with tears and blood and suffering for what he did to you.
What did you do to him? I want details.
And, for a while at least, some of the distress was gone. Makkari was telling him all the ways in which she'd tried to make Ikaris pay for hurting her man (Druig smiled at that, with his dimples and his stupid eyes, and Phastos thought that no wonder Ben couldn't believe these guys were thousands of years old, because sometimes he couldn't believe it himself, and he'd been there. Maybe it was this wholesome puppy love thing that kept them young. Who knew) and the trip felt a bit more cheerful.
Makkari still didn't want to be apart from Druig in at least a few days... But some of the distress was gone. And yeah, it was fairly cute how touched Druig seemed by her homicidal rampage against their team mate. As if he'd been given two ice cream cones, or an extra Chritmas present (for this year, you get "the physicial embodiment of how much your partner still cares about you in the form of extreme violence!").
They were a different, weird family for sure. And they had suffered some heavy losses, lately, that could have been even worse. But now was not the time for moral dilemmas or complex mourning.
Now it was just the time for some dimpled smiles, being oblivious and then realizing and perhaps some smooth jazz.