If there's one thing Tony did not expect his boyfriend to be obsessed with...it was cooking shows.
Loki discovering the Food Network was almost as bad as locking a drug addict up in a warehouse full of cocaine. He became obsessed with the competitions, and felt the need to try and recreate every dish he saw in the penthouse kitchen.
Which wouldn't have been a bad thing, except for one problem.....
Loki can't cook.
Everything the man tried to make ended up an unmitigated disaster. Tony tried to help, but as JARVIS helpfully pointed out, his own cooking repertoire barely consisted of scrambled eggs..barely.
He had hoped that after copious amounts of takeout, Loki would agree to let him hire a personal chef. But his prince was incredibly stubborn and insisted that he would get something right eventually. So the man kept on trying, which led to Tony's latest kitchen catastrophe....
Gingerbread Houses.
The genius had suggested a simple four-wall structure to start out with, but noooooo....Loki planned to make a full edible recreation of the palace in Ásgarð. So now here they were, covered in flour and various other ingredients as the clown prince of bakery attempted to put icing inbetween cookie walls.
"Bambi, as much as I love your dive into Earth culture...don't you think it's time to hang up the chef's hat?"
"Nonsense, I've been improving. My creme brûlée last week would have been perfect if I hadn't mis-set the timer."
"The smoke alarm is not a cook timer!"
"You cannot expect one to learn without practice, Anthony," Loki huffed indignately," so either help me with this or get out of the kitchen...and I warn you the latter will result in no practice in the bedroom tonight either."
Well when he put it that way....
"Alright, Elsa, what do you need me to do?"
*************
"Well.....at least it's standing?"
The end result did not look like Ásgarð...or any other building Tony could recognize for that matter. They managed to get some of the gingerbread to stand, but icing was dripping everywhere, and some of the pieces looked like they were going to crumble at any moment.
Loki had a dangerous glint in his eyes as he stared at the mess. When he summoned a dagger, Tony thought for sure he was going to get stabbed. Instead, the Góð slammed the blade into the table before teleporting out of the room with a sniffle.
"Aww crap....JARVIS is Loki still in the building?"
"Master Loki is currently sequestered in the bedroom closet. I suggest you move quickly, sir, as it appears we have a code blueberry."
Tony practically sprinted to the bedroom when he heard that. Whenever the AI declared code blueberry, it meant Loki was upset to the point his Æsir glamour slipped. While he had no problems with his boyfriend resembling a smurf (In truth it was pretty hot), the loss of control also meant that half the tower would be frozen in ice again unless something was done.
The closet door was already starting to freeze over when he reached the bedroom, so Tony wrapped a shirt around the knob before opening the door.
"Loki? Are you okay?!"
Loki was huddled in the middle of the floor with his knees to chest. At the sight of Tony, the ice around him began to recede but he still retained an azure skin tone.
"Oh honey," Tony said as he sat down next to the Góð and wrapped his arms around him, "What's the matter? You don't normally lose control over a little thing like gingerbread."
"It's just...I wanted to be able to do something without resorting to magic or 'tricks' as Thor likes to call them. Mother was always able to bake wonderful things without using spells, so I thought maybe I could too."
Well that explains the cooking show craziness. Tony swore that if he could he would March straight up to Ass-garð and blast every one of them to kingdom come. He'd figure out a way to do just that later.
Right now, he had a blueberry to console.
"I don't see why you using magic to cook is a problem. If I could just poof up a gourmet dinner at will, we'd never have to leave the house."
Loki snorted, and Tony squeezed him tighter as he continued.
"You have a lot of non-magical talents too, you know. You're smart, you can wield daggers with the deadliest of accuracy, and your silvertongue is phenomenal."
"Anthony....."
"What? I'm serious!"
Loki raised a brow at him, and Tony had to refrain from shuddering at how intoxicating those ruby eyes were.
"All jokes and flirtations aside, you're an amazing person and I couldn't be more proud of you. So how about we say fuck the rainbow Víkings and make the most magically awesome gingerbread house ever."
"And then we use it to prank Thor?"
"Oh we are definitely using it to prank Thor."
************
Thor had learned to expect a lot of strange things over the centuries.
Dark tyrants, secret sisters, talking trees....he was prepared for it all.
He was not, however, prepared to wake up in a room made of gingerbread.
Every wall, piece of furniture, and bedding was made up of the spicy confection. He tried to summon Stormbreaker, and was relieved to hear the familiar whizzing noise heading towards him, only to look on in horror as an axe made entirely of icing slammed into him.
"What in Óðin's name is going on here?!"
After he'd wiped the excess confectionery from his eyes, he turned towards the windows and noticed that they didn't look outside anymore.
Instead they provided a few of a familiar science lab.....and its even more familiar tenants.
"LOKI! STARK! GET ME OUT OF HERE THIS INSTANT! BY THE NORNS IF YOU DON'T RELEASE ME I'LL....."
Whatever threat the Thunder Góð was making had been drowned out by Loki and Tony's laughter.
"This is your best work yet, Lokes, a true masterpiece."
"Indeed, I don't think there's anything that can top it."
"Well if that's the case," Tony purred,"feel free to top something else....me for example."
"Even though I am still in Jötnar form?"
"Especially because of that....after all, red is my favorite color...and those eyes of yours could put real rubies to shame."
Loki smiled and grabbed Tony around the waist before teleporting them to the bedroom....leaving a tiny Thor trapped inside the dessert house, whining about evil siblings and enabling brother-in-laws for the rest of the day.