draft thing
“Why the hell did I have to come?! The Tsaritsa literally favorites the dung beetle and icy bitch, so I don’t understand why I had to come!” Scaramouche complained the entire way, Pierro not listening to any of his cries.
“And, I still don’t understand, why the fuck I have to share a tent with the dung beetle. He’s a fucking dickhead, I hate his weird ass–”
“I’m not weird!” Childe scoffed, turning back to his phone where Zhongli attempted to sleep, glaring at the ginger through his phone.
“Balladeer, why do you curse so much?! Everywhere I go, it’s always ‘fuck’ this, ‘shit’ that, can you just be quiet?!” Signora groaned, moving closer to Arlecchino and Columbina.
“Are we gonna roast marshmallows and tell spooky stories at the fireplace?” Dottore grins while leaning into the short man teasingly, Scaramouche immediately scowled and moved away from him, back towards Pierro.
“Of course not, why would we?” The banker smiles softly and laughs.
They did. Of course, they fucking did.
“Childe, stop eating all of the marshmallows.”
“Zhongli? Zhongli, are you sleeping?” Childe was still on a call with his boyfriend, Scaramouche rolled his eyes, “Of course, he’s sleeping, you dipshit! It’s like 3:00 AM in Liyue!”
In the middle of the night, screams, shouts, (and snores) could be heard from the tent that was shared by Childe and Scaramouche.
“You fucking bitch! Why are you snoring so loudly?! Hey, wake up!” Scaramouche yelled. Pierro grudgingly walked up to their tent, as Dottore jumped out of bed and ran up to them in glee.
“Why are you screaming so loudly at 1:00 AM, like a lunatic?”
“Is he dead? Can I experiment on him?!”
Scaramouche shushes them and motions them forward, both of them doing so silently.
Three seconds later an enormous snore could be heard from the ginger (being followed up with ‘mimimimi’) Scaramouche scoffed and glared at his sleeping bag.
“He isn’t waking up. I hope he’s dead.”
Pierro sighed at the Balladeer’s crude comment, as he leans forward to lightly shake Childe, expecting him to easily wake up.
Haha. Of course, he didn’t! By this time, Scaramouche was losing his mind, watching Pierro gently attempt to wake him up. Childe’s loud snores rang in Scaramouche’s ear. Before he could even think about yelling to wake him up, Scaramouche reaches for Childe’s phone— somehow still on call with Zhongli— and the second he does, the ginger bastard jumps up from his slumber, panting heavily. Like he actually did something.
”OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY PHONE?!”
Scaramouche stared at him blankly, his look turning into a glare. “If Pierro let me, I would beat your fucking ass to the ground—“
”Balladeer. Kindness should be spread.”
Pierro mutters, Dottore looks disappointed- Ajax isn’t dead after all.