Two lonely souls

It was December 24th, Christmas Eve, and you had a surprise for your whatever she was. It wasn’t a gift per se, but could be considered as one. It was definitely better than the actual gift that you were going to give her. It was a little past one in the afternoon and you and Natasha were walking down Columbus Avenue hand in hand, the snow crunching under your winter boots, the gloomy clouds above you darkening the city. Natasha had no clue where you were going but she was just happy to have you there and even more happy to hold your hand.

You crossed the street at least three times before arriving at the David Geffen Hall, tugging Natasha towards the Lincoln Center Plaza that was right next to it. Your companion was barely paying any attention to anything around her, her gaze fixed on the intertwined hands that swung back and forth between you.

“Okay, so”, you started awkwardly, nervous to see her reaction. “This isn’t really a gift but something that I thought you might like”, you explained, Natasha’s chin tilting up to look you in the eyes. She gave you an encouraging smile, waiting for you to go on. You came to a stop before the New York City Ballet, a large but flat building with huge windows. Natasha obviously recognized the place, her eyes widening slightly as she looked at you for an explanation. “I got us tickets for the Nutcracker”, you blurted out, every nerve in your body on edge as you tried to figure out her reaction. Natasha turned to look at the theater then back at you, and then back at the theater once more before turning fully towards you.

“I haven’t been to see ballet in years”, she stated, giddiness more than evident in her tone. “Thank you!” She exclaimed, immediately pulling you into a hug. She was so excited, positively vibrating in anticipation. “I can’t believe you! Thank you, darling, thank you so much”, she gushed, still holding you against her, swaying you side to side gently.

“You’re more than welcome”, you whispered in her ear, almost feeling emotional at seeing her so overwhelmed and happy.

You yourself hadn’t been to a ballet in a while either and you were excited to go. You had picked the nicest seats you could find on such short notice. Back when you had bought the tickets, around two weeks before, there had only been three contiguous seats left and a couple singular ones. You had immediately jumped on the opportunity and bought the tickets. They were expensive, really expensive, but thankfully you had a high paying job and the purchase would only do you damage once. You were going to be just fine because you knew the experience would be worth it. Natasha was absolutely enamored the entire ninety minutes it lasted. She felt young again, her mind flooded with memories from her youth where she herself had performed the Nutcracker more times than she could count. She could so vividly remember that moment when she was blinded by the spotlights, the audience before her waiting for her to start dancing. She could remember the way her gut twisted right before an advanced jump or spin she had to perform and the relief that followed when she didn’t mess up. She could remember it all, craving to go back on stage again. She often glanced at you to see if you were enjoying the show just as much as she was enjoying it. You found it adorable. Everything about her was adorable. She was the sweetest, goofiest person you had ever met and the hardness of her shell had definitely led you astray in the beginning. You couldn’t even process how all that sweetness and kindness could be shoved so far down that there was barely a trace of it when she presented her cold and harsh exterior. Natasha might have been fully focused on the performance but you were watching her as much as you were watching the dancers. Your fingers scratched over the thin material of her tights as your hand rested on her inner thigh, right below the hem of her skirt. She would often lean close to you, her breath tickling your ear as she whispered some random comment to you. Buying those tickets was definitely the best purchase you had made all year.

When you stepped outside it was snowing once again, fat snowflakes floating down from the sky as Natasha and you walked toward a restaurant nearby, the redhead not able to contain her excitement. She hadn’t shut up once since you two had exited the theater and you wouldn’t have had it any other way. You listened to her every word, wrapping your arm around her waist as you walked down the street. Dinner went just as well as the ballet had, although Natasha insisted on paying, most likely because she knew exactly how much money you had spent on the tickets. When you were having a banana split for dessert, the candles at the table creating an unbearably romantic atmosphere, Natasha leaned close, her green eyes shining bright.

“Thank you, again. That was better than anything I could’ve ever thought of”, she whispered. She was sitting close to you, your thighs touching each other under the table and you could feel your pulse pick up when she leaned even closer. “I promise I’ll make it up to you”, she said, her voice hoarse, hand rubbing gently over your thigh. Your eyes fluttered shut on their own accord when you felt Natasha’s breath fan over your face. You lifted your chin slightly, enough to connect your lips with hers. The kiss was slow and sweet, tasting faintly of ice cream as she parted your lips with her tongue. As much as you wouldn’t have wanted to, you kept your kissing appropriate, mindful of the other people in the restaurant. Your hands cupped her jaw, holding her in place as you, sucked gently on her lower lip, taking your time. Your hand sank into her hair, tugging her closer and closer, your body addicted to her taste.

“I think I really like you”, you blurted out like an idiot, no longer able to hold it in. Not only did you like her, you were most likely falling in love with her, but thankfully you hadn’t said that. The revelation would have probably scared the Grinch away.

“I know I really like you”, she smirked back, her hands daring to wander to your hips, where her thumbs rubbed tiny circles into your skin. You felt heat creep up your neck at her words, your chest and shoulders feeling abnormally light.

You walked back to Natasha’s, neither of you considering that there was another option. You weren’t going to spend Christmas alone in your cold apartment and you were pretty sure Natasha was trying to make you stay without explicitly asking you to. The redhead swung the front door open, letting you in as you were already undressing your coat and scarf.

“Do you want something more comfortable to wear?” She asked, facing you as you nodded your answer. “I’ll be right back”, she assured, brushing her hand over your arm and pecking your lips before she was off into her closet. The chaste kiss caught you by surprise and you felt your chest squeeze at how perfectly mundane the action had been. You could still feel the firm press of her lips on yours, your hand coming up to your mouth as you smiled softly. You moved to the couch, turning on the TV out of habit when you got an idea. You pulled the back cushions of the couch off, propping them to the sides to create a small space between them. You grabbed the pile of blankets and used them to create a roof for your fort. You left the backside of it open so the Christmas tree lights could shine inside and you could also look at the pretty tree from the couch. You hadn’t built a fort in fifteen years, not since Wanda and you decided to be grown ups, and you found yourself to be rather excited about it. You decorated it with pillows and blankets and tested if the walls would hold. Then you hurried into the kitchen to go make hot chocolate for the two of you. Natasha appeared behind you not even a minute later.

“I didn’t know which ones you wanted so I brought options”, she stated, holding up three different pairs of pajama pants. God, she was just so adorable in her oversized, pale pink pajama set. You studied your options, picking the ones that were the same material as Natasha’s. She then let you choose the top half as well and you obviously paired it with the bottoms, now both of you having matching silk pajamas.

“Natasha?” You hummed in amusement, the woman looking at you questioningly. “Did you put up mistletoe?” You asked, your tone a little teasing as Natasha’s gaze shot up to the lamp you were both standing under. You noticed a faint blush dust her cheeks as she looked to the floor at her bare feet.

“No”, she scoffed. “Shelf elf, remember?” She quipped, making you laugh harder than you would have wanted to.

“I don’t think you know how the elf works”, you chuckled, taking your clothes from her arms so you could go change. Just as you were about to walk into the living room you heard Natasha clear her throat.

“Don’t you think you’re forgetting something?” She scolded you, a wide smile spreading on your face before you turned back around and fixed your face.

“Oh, the clothes. My bad. I’ll go put them back”, you mumbled, gathering the pajamas from her arms. You heard her huff in annoyance before you felt her index finger hook under your chin, Natasha tugging your face up to look her in the eyes. Your gaze dropped down to her lips in anticipation before you moved it back to her eyes. A cocky smirk was tugging at your lips as you desperately tried to hold it in, the playful look in your eyes sending shivers down Natasha’s spine. She dropped her head down, giving you a chaste kiss before pulling away. It was pure torture, both of you wanting so much more from the other, but not willing to give in so easily.

You went into the living room, setting the clothes down on the edge of the couch as you started to undress yourself. You knew Natasha was still in the kitchen and you knew that without a doubt she was stealing glances your way. You faced the large windows so that you weren’t exposing anything major but she could still see exactly what you were doing. You pulled off your shirt, revealing your lacy bra that you had picked specifically with Natasha in mind. You unhooked the bra, sliding it off your body before pulling on the top half of the pajama set. You were acting very nonchalant as you inched down your pants, your matching underwear the first thing Natasha paid attention to. You crouched down to grab your pants off the floor, Natasha forcing herself to look away because she was already ogling enough to begin with. She busied herself with the hot chocolates, trying to guide herself down from the burning hot arousal that had settled in the pit of her stomach. For just a second she allowed her thoughts to wander, allowed her thoughts to run completely free, but when she found her cheeks flushing from just the thought of your firm hands she forced herself to stop. She needed to gather herself.

“I’m a little warm. I’m gonna go outside really quick”, she informed, already unlocking the balcony door. You hummed in agreement, getting out of your fort to go with her. She seemed a little surprised but allowed it, walking outside with her bare feet leaving dents into the fresh snow.

“Aren’t you cold?” You asked a little wary, shivering at the door as you watched Natasha walk to the edge, looking over Central Park.

“I’m Russian”, she offered as an explanation. She felt waves of cold go up her legs and it was the perfect distraction from how absolutely alluring you were. Natasha didn’t seem one bit bothered by the cold but you were positively trembling from it, clutching onto the door handle. She gathered some snow into her warm hands, forming a tiny ball that she chuckled your way. It hit you, crumbling into dust as you shrieked at the cold again.

“Come back inside”, you ordered.

“Just a moment longer”, she chuckled, when you tried to kick snow in her face.

“I’m cold.”

“Go back inside then”, she teased, already feeling her feet go a little numb.

“Shashaa”, you whined. “You’re gonna freeze.” You scurried over the short distance to Natasha, grabbing her arm and tugging her back inside as you shivered violently again. You locked the door behind you, pulling the redhead closer. You placed your warm hands on her cool cheeks before rubbing them up and down her arms. “You’re crazy”, you mumbled, the woman only laughing in response as she walked to the TV that was playing some sappy Christmas movie.

“Did you build a fort?” She asked in disbelief, immediately getting inside of it. “It’s cozy”, she said with a shy smile as she turned to look behind her at the Christmas tree, a couple of ornaments hanging almost right in front of her face.

“You like it?” You asked, your voice a little louder as you got your hot chocolates and candy canes from the kitchen.

“I love it!” Came her reply. “Did you want to watch a movie?” You settled the mugs of cocoa on the coffee table, grabbing a blanket before getting inside the fort as well, sitting so close to Natasha you were practically on her lap.

“Yes, please. You have anything specific in mind?” You asked hopefully, hating the task of trying to find a movie that the both of you hadn’t seen yet and/or found interesting.

“It’s Christmas Eve. Don’t you wanna watch something stupid like that”, she chuckled.

“No, what do you want to watch?” You pestered on, wanting to make her comfortable and not to force her to watch a movie she would hate regardless of what happened in it. She took a sip of her cocoa, twirling the candy cane in the hot liquid.

“I wanna watch whatever you wanna watch”, she teased, making you groan.

“Natasha!” You nudged her just because you could as you continued to scroll through movies with the remote. She only snickered quietly.

“What do you want to watch?” She asked again. “Say the first thing that comes to mind”, she instructed, pulling you into her side, draping your arm over her shoulders. Your brain malfunctioned for a brief moment as your entire mind was wiped clean. All you could feel was her body against yours and it was more than intoxicating. You sucked in a little air to get your mind working again.

“Krampus”, you blurted out, a little confused about choosing a movie that had given you severe nightmares in your youth.

“What the hell is that?” She asked, already typing the name into the search bar.

“A Christmas scary movie”, you explained, smirking a little. You actually did want to see it because you hadn’t been able to watch it in years.

“You’re weird”, the redhead muttered, pressing play and adjusting herself in your arms.

“This gave me nightmares for like half my childhood”, you chuckled, Natasha giving you an astounded look.

“Well then it must be scary”, she mused sarcastically, tickling under your chin.

“Hey!” You grumbled, pulling away from her a little. “It was scary back then”, you said in a defensive tone. “You don’t even know how scary it was”, you mumbled. She gave you a lopsided smile, cupping your cheek gently.

“Okay, I believe you”, she assured you, but you could tell she was fighting tooth and nail not to laugh at you. She pulled you right back into her side, changing her position a little so that she was sitting more sideways and her legs were draped over your lap. Both of you quietened down, focusing on the movie.

The first half was anything but scary, but when the monster got involved you could feel your palms grow clammy as you held your breath. You were too stubborn to say that you were scared but Natasha could tell no matter how much you tried to act cool. The entire apartment grew silent, the TV screen almost black. You couldn’t take it, turning your face away from the screen and hiding it into Natasha’s chest. Her hand came up to pat your head gently, her automatic instinct to soothe you.

“Is it over?” You asked quietly. Natasha hummed her reply and you pulled away from her, giving her a rather shy glance before moving your gaze back to screen just in time for the jump scare. You let out a horrified yelp, diving right back into your hiding place. “Natasha!” You shrieked angrily, knowing she had done it on purpose by the sound of her laughter that rumbled in her chest. You pulled back, aiming a slap her way, the entire fort collapsing as she blocked it, still dying of laughter. She fell on her back, giggling when you crawled over her.

“Fine! Okay! I’m sorry!” She squealed, blocking each of your attempts at getting your hands on her. After learning just how good she was at defending herself you gave in, sitting back on her thighs, your eyes suddenly drawn to her hips where the waistline of her pants had slid lower, revealing brown lace.

“You destroyed my fort too”, you accused her, needing a quick distraction.

“I did that? That was you!” She should not have said that because it earned her a pillow smack into her face. Natasha just laughed harder, not at all bothered by your roughness. If anything, she loved it. She ripped the pillow out of your hands, quickly regaining control of the situation. The way she slowly forced you to lay down on the couch by leaning over you, made your heart race faster than any amount of exercise could.

“I wanna watch a different movie”, you said grumpily, frowning up at her.

“Yeah? What this time? Christmas on Elm Street or the Conjuring -a Christmas Special?” She derided, her face mere inches away.

“I swear to God if you don’t choose a movie for us-“

“You’ll what?” She asked innocently, her tone low in feigned condescension. You stilled for a second, an impish smirk spreading on your face.

“I’ll go home.” She got off you in an instant, choosing the first movie in the category for Christmas. It happened to be Elf, your favorite. She hastily put the fort back up and sat down, behaving herself exceptionally well.

“What?” She asked defensively as you continued smirking her way. “I don’t want you to leave. Besides I’m saving your ass. You would freeze out there”, she explained. You leaned close to her, pressing your lips to hers in an infuriatingly chaste kiss, but she seemed pleased nonetheless. You settled back down on the couch, this time initiating the cuddling yourself.

Once the movie was over you just turned off the TV, too tired to do anything else. Natasha had ended up in a reclined sitting position against a pile of pillows with your head in her lap, laying sideways on the couch in a way that left you sandwiched between Natasha’s thighs.

“You think Santa’s gonna come for a visit?” You asked quietly. You liked to ask that question every year even though you knew he wasn’t real.

“If an old, fat man crawls down my chimney I’ll make sure it’s the last chimney he ever crawls through”, she grumbled just as quietly, her raspy voice pure music to your ears.

“What if he brought gifts?” You pestered her.

“I don’t need gifts.”

“What if he could grant you the thing you wanted the most?” You inquired, eyes already closed as you hugged her thigh closer.

“I have all I want”, she stated matter of factly, her hand sliding into your hair, scratching gently over your scalp.