Two lonely souls

“Oh, there you are, Y/N!” Natasha exclaimed, her heels clicking loudly as she rushed over to you in the hallway down to your office.

“Morning!” You greeted her, handing a burning hot coffee to your boss.

“Hey”, she smirked, handing you a business card in return. You frowned at the piece of cardboard, moving your gaze up to hers.

“Thanks?” You offered in mild confusion, making Natasha groan in frustration.

“Turn it around”, she explained, watching as you slowly flipped the card around. There was her name, written in unbelievably beautiful handwriting with an eleven digit number below it.

“In case you need me”, she offered as an explanation.

You fiddled with the card the entire day, not able to stop smiling stupidly at it. You were absolutely in love with the little heart that decorated her name on the paper. She drew you a little heart. How adorable.

“What’s that?” Wanda asked, sitting next to you with her lunch.

“Just a card Nat gave me”, you explained, putting it away immediately.

“Nat?” Carol inquired, raising her brow at you with a knowing smirk. “She lets you call her something other than Romanoff?”

“What? It’s her name”, you mumbled defensively, feeling like your school friends had just discovered your little crush. Wanda and Carol both hummed at your reply, sharing glances. “What?” You repeated, trying to figure out what they were thinking.

“Nothing”, Carol said nonchalantly, brushing the subject aside. You huffed out in annoyance, pulling your lunch out of your purse. They definitely knew something you didn’t.

Your exhausting work day was over and you were home once again, feeling lonely and empty. It was hard to live in the big city when you came from a small community where everyone knew each other and their grandmas. It was dark outside, snow whirling down from the sky. At that point New York had enough snow for it to be a problem. Your apartment had no lights on, other than your Christmas lights. You sat behind a piano that was illuminated by the yellowy street lights that shone through your large windows. You sighed heavily, setting your fingers on the keys of your piano, ready to distract yourself from your emotions. You focused all your energy on the beautiful melody you were playing, doing your best not to mess up. The tempo of the song was rather fast and you struggled to keep up with it, missing more than half the keys you were supposed to play, yet the song still managed to sound somewhat decent. You fought your way through the piece, your left hand starting to cramp at the speed of the song. The composition was a dramatic one and you really liked it. It suited the oncoming storm quite well. Your hand slipped off the keyboard as you slumped in your chair frustrated with the mistake you made. You tried again and again, not able to hit each of the notes, so you moved on to the chorus. That part of the song didn’t seem to flow any better. It was like your fingers were jammed, frozen and they just didn’t move like you wanted them to. You buried your face into your hands, letting out a defeated sigh. You turned your head to the window, following the movement of the snowflakes, the silence of the apartment a stark contrast to your loud playing. You flinched, your heart in your throat at the sound of your ringtone in the deafening silence. You grabbed your phone off the top of the piano, your eyes landing on an unknown number. You answered the call.

“Hello?” You said, a little wary.

“How long were you going to wait to call me?” Natasha chided, a wide smile spreading on your face.

“At least three days. Isn’t that the rule?” You asked, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside as you lifted your leg up to the edge of the chair, propping your chin onto your knee, listening to her low chuckle. “How did you get my number?”

”You don’t think I have my ways?” She muttered with a lilt in her tone. “Are you home?” She asked hopefully.

“Uh-huh”, you nodded, excited at the thought of seeing her.

”Would you wanna come over?” She asked, her tone a little softer than normal.

“Yeah, sure. What’d you have in mind?” You asked, praying that your voice wasn’t conveying the absolutely electric giddiness you were feeling.

“Movie night?” She suggested with a smile that you could hear through the phone.

”Send me your address.”

”Will do. See you soon”, she said.

“See you.”

You rummaged through your house in search of something you could give her. You didn’t want to go for a visit empty handed. After searching through your cupboards you found an old bottle of white rum. It wasn’t a weird gift, right? You grabbed the bottle and your coat, hurrying down to catch a cab. She lived in the upper west side, near Central Park. The building was tall and beautiful, intimidating. You were greeted by a doorman who asked who you were there for and guided you to the elevator. She lived on the twelfth floor, her apartment overlooking the huge park outside. You were nervous, more than nervous. You felt out of place, like you were too poor to be there. The elevator doors slid open to reveal a waiting Natasha. You forgot about your worries and went straight for a hug. You had hung out enough times to be considered friends and friends hug. At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself as you leaned into her chest tentatively, wrapping your arms around her middle. She let out a little noise of surprise but the only thing you could focus on was the way her arms tightened around your shoulders, pulling you closer. The hug was brief but you swear it lasted a lifetime. Her body was soft against yours, the faint smell of her perfume invading your nose as her quiet huff tickled your ear.

“You get here alright?” She asked as she walked you into her apartment. It was very put-together and neat, the style less modern than you would have expected. She seemed to like older decor. Her apartment had an almost royal atmosphere but in a tasty way. It wasn’t too flashy. You liked it. A lot.

“Yeah, I took a cab”, you replied, still admiring the beautiful apartment. She had a huge furnace to the left from the television and couch area, huge windows and expensive carpets. Above you was a loft that looked a lot like a bedroom from what you could see. You were tempted to just sneak around the apartment and note down every single detail about the place. “I love your apartment.”

“Thanks”, she shrugged, walking into the kitchen and getting out two big mugs. They were matte black, very simple, like most things in her apartment. As you looked around even more you noticed how it was too perfect, how it lacked personality. Based on what you had seen so far, she most likely didn’t spend a lot of time at home. “The bathroom is right around the corner on the left”, she added. “In case you need it.”

You nodded at her comment, acknowledging her words. “Here, I got you something”, you stated, offering the liquor bottle to her. She smiled down at you accepting the gift.

“Thank you. You really shouldn’t have”, she assured, brushing her hand over your shoulder.

“Yeah but I wanted to. So, what are we watching today?” You asked, curious to know what kind of movies she liked.

“You get to choose”, she replied with a smile.

“Aw, come on. At least suggest something!” You whined, leaning against the counter, the neckline of your long sleeve shirt straining a little. Natasha’s gaze flicked down but met your eyes before you could even register what had happened.

“How the Grinch Stole Christmas?” She suggested with an impish smile.

“Why would I want to see a movie about you?” You teased, Natasha just smiling wide at you. “Also, you did not... just suggest... a Christmas movie, now did you?” You walked closer to her, raising your eyebrows at her with a flirty smirk. “You’re warming up. I can tell”, you added, making Natasha scoff.

“In your dreams, Y/N”, she shot back, handing you a carton of milk from the fridge. You grabbed it, pouring equal amounts into the mugs. “I just know you eat that shit up like a starved wolf”, she scoffed, setting the mugs into the microwave.

“I do not! I watch them for nostalgia”, you defended yourself, Natasha smirking at your slightly appalled tone.

“Okay, sweetheart, I believe you.” She definitely did not. You felt your cheeks heat at her endearment and you decided to busy yourself with whatever you found, so she wouldn’t have another reason to bully you. You grabbed the bottle of rum and poured a rather heavy amount of it in your own, asking if Natasha wanted any before doing the same to hers.

She helped you make popcorn and then you were both cooped up on the couch with a huge glass bowl of popcorn and two steaming hot mugs of chocolate. She yanked a blanket off the back of the couch, throwing it in your face.

“It gets chilly in here.” Was all she offered as an explanation as you laughed in mild surprise. She was starting to get comfortable with you. You glanced her way as she sat curled up into a ball, nursing her mug with a blanket thrown over her shoulders and you just couldn’t tear your eyes away from her. Natasha was pointing a remote at the television as she flicked through all the movies available.

“I have a really good one”, you said suddenly, Natasha turning to look at you. “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.”

“See, what did I say? You can’t resist it.”

“We can totally watch something else if you’d like. I know how much you don’t want to see the movie”, you said with sarcasm, knowing that she had never properly seen it and was dying to know what you and the others really meant when you referred to her as the Grinch.

“Whatever. Let’s just watch it so we don’t have to look for another one. My cocoa is cooling down”, she grumbled, feigning her reluctance. You were smiling wide as you settled onto the couch, pleased that you got your way with her. However, you were too focused on the movie to notice the way Natasha was constantly stealing glances at you.

“See that’s you”, you explained, pointing at the green creature on the screen.

“Why am I eating a raw onion?” She questioned, her nose scrunching up in disgust as the Grinch chewed on the said onion. “Is this what you think of me? Is this what you all think of me?” She questioned, a wary look on her face as she watched the green fur ball roll around in his cluttered home that resembled more of a dump.

“No!” You giggled, careful not to slosh around your drink. “Just the hating Christmas part”, you clarified with a faint smirk. “Don’t worry, you’re very clean and put-together. Sometimes a little grumpy.”

“Grumpy? I’m not!”, she exclaimed in defense.

“Right, and I don’t like Christmas”, you mumbled. “It’s nothing serious. You just sometimes come across a little mean”, you explained, Natasha giving you a harsh glare. “That is actually the very face you make”, you continued teasing her, Natasha huffing out in annoyance.

”I’m not mean, I’m just honest”, she grouched.

”That’s exactly what a mean person would say”, you quipped, flashing her a shit-eating grin.

”You do know I can fire you whenever and wherever, don’t you?” She threatened you, a playful smile on her face.

”You would not survive a day without me.” She couldn’t come up with anything to say back because you were right. You were a very vital asset at the office and everyone knew that, including her.

”No, I wouldn’t”, she sighed out, your urge to get closer to her becoming almost unbearable. You gulped down nearly half of your cocoa, immediately regretting the decision because you knew it would only make your predicament worse. You watched as Natasha fished mini marshmallows off the surface of her drink with her tongue, her eyes fixed on the screen. It was painfully adorable. Sometimes she would snort out a laugh, trying to make it seem like she wasn’t totally into the movie. She seemed so warm and welcoming. You reached for the popcorn bowl that sat next to her, using that as an excuse to get closer to her. If you could just maybe lean against her arm. Or if you could hold hands again. You grabbed a fistful of popcorn so you could keep yourself in check and not do anything stupid.

It was late already and you were tired. You had seen the movie a thousand times and it could no longer keep you entertained. You felt the alcohol start to fuzz your brain as you stared at the lone candle on the coffee table, labeled bonfire. Natasha was watching you in amusement as your head nodded with how tired you were. You opened your eyes, glancing at the bright screen with a frown, the little girl on the screen saying something before your eyelids drooped down again.

“Alright”, Natasha hummed. “Enough of that”, she whispered as she pried the mug off your fingers and set it down on the coffee table. She turned to face you with a fond smile, her fingers brushing over your cheek. You could barely tell what was going on when her hand wrapped around your bicep, pulling you closer to her. You were nearly unconscious, feeling warm all around. All you knew was that you were tired and that Natasha smelled really nice and that she was warm... Somewhere in the back of your mind you put the pieces together and realized that you were snuggled closely against her shoulder and then it all went dark.

Natasha moved the glass bowl off the couch and adjusted your limp body in a way that was more comfortable to the both of you. She glanced down at your relaxed face, grinning wide when she heard you let out a quiet huff. She tilted your head a little more so your neck wasn’t in an awkward angle, her eyes never leaving your face, the movie playing quietly in the background. Natasha rested her cheek against the crown of your head and soon enough dozed off herself. Maybe Christmas wasn’t so bad. Maybe she wasn’t the Grinch after all. Maybe there was someone who really did enjoy her company.