Chapter 4
The revelation that Bucky had wanted to do that to Sam had left the man stunned. Sam felt bad for administering the potion and for now knowing something Bucky had been actively trying not to show, but he couldn’t help but feel giddy.
Sam wanted to run to Bucky’s room and cuddle and kiss his worries away, but a new problem arose.
Sam had been the one to give him the potion. Not Loki, Sam.
He walked to Bucky’s room with his head held low, awaiting the coming conversation. Sam heaved a heavy sigh and knocked on the door.
“Yes?” Bucky said, still sounding off, but better than he’d been before Sam had talked to him.
“Can I come in, Bucky?” Sam was scared. He wanted this, he wanted Bucky, and he wanted him to know that, but telling was going to prove difficult.
“Ya, come in.”
Sam pushed the door open and stepped, taking in Bucky as he did. The man was still on the floor, but he was much more relaxed. He was leaning against his bed with his head tilted up, resting against it. His arms were wrapped loosely around one knee while the other leg was laid out straight. Bucky looked beautiful in this domestic setting. No fight to fight, no war to come, just them two in their apartment.
Sam sat beside him again and Bucky immediately leaned his head onto his shoulder. Sam basked in the feeling, but felt bad for abusing this new-found power he held over Bucky.
“Bucky, I…I need to tell you something.” His gaze was cast downward and his hands were fidgeting in his lap.
“Ummm…ok. What is it?”
“Ummm.. the other day, you were still asleep in the morning and I had come to the kitchen to make breakfast. Before I knew it, Loki showed up and he was talking about our relationship and how he wanted to help and he gave me this liquid thing. I- I trusted him and I slipped it into your coffee.”
Bucky was completely facing him, but Sam couldn’t read his expression.
“After you drank it, you were sick the rest of the day. Loki showed up again the next morning, but wouldn’t tell me what I gave you. Then you came in and seemed and- and you hugged me and…”
Sam had to stop and take a breath before just jumping right in with it.
“Buck, I’m so sorry, man. The potion, it took away your impulse control with me so you couldn’t even stop yourself if you wanted to. I know I should’ve never given it to you. I’m sorry.”
Bucky sat before him, no longer looking in his eyes, but rather at the ground between them. It was a while before he stated, “So I guess you know then?”
“Look, Bucky. I-“
“No no I get it, Sam. You don’t have to pity me or anything. I'm sorry for making it weird. I-I can just go if you want.”
“No! What the hell, Bucky? Why are you apologizing? I was the one that did that to you. If anything I should be the one to leave.”
Bucky quickly looked up with panic in his eyes. “Don’t leave!!” he pleaded.
“Bucky, I’m not going anywhere.” Sam allowed himself to reach his hand up and hold Bucky’s cheek. The man leaned in and nuzzled into the contact.
“Bucky, you don’t have to be embarrassed because of what happened. I deserve a good slap to the face-“
“I’m not slapping you.”
“- for that one. I should’ve never been that selfish and stupid. I just wanted to help our relationship. Look Bucky, I don’t deserve your love. Not after what I just did, but if you’ll have me, I’ll cherish you forever. I-I love you Bucky!”
Sam’s words were rushed and he couldn’t stop nervously glancing around the room as he spoke, but they were beautiful all the same. Bucky looked shocked and was staring straight at Sam.
“So ya… that’s what I was gonna say. I’m sorry, man. The thing will wear off whenever you do something to me that you like, really want to do. Please, please forgive me. I’ll leave now. I’m sor-“
Sam was mid squat when he was pulled to the ground. The force of the pull had landed him right on top of Bucky. Mere inches from his face.
“I-I know i'm not the best with emotions, so when I started feeling things towards you, I tried to hide it. Sam, you’re kind, funny, brave, and so strong and beautiful. You accepted me, despite all my faults and all the staring, and you gave me a home. My first in decades. I love you, Sam!”
Bucky reached his hand to the collar of Sam’s shirt and pulled him in. Their lips crashed together in a beautiful glory. Their bodies intertwined, Sam wrapping his legs around Bucky’s hips while Bucky’s hands gently rested on Sam’s hips. They broke apart for air, each gasping before looking at each other to smile.
“I think the potion is done now.” Bucky said, staring into Sam’s big browns.
“Really? I was seriously expecting something a bit more with the whole ‘thing you most wanted to do’ and all.”
Heat ran to Bucky’s cheeks when he thought about what he was implying and Sam couldn’t help but giggle at the adorable sight in front of him.
“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” Sam said, leaning in to give Bucky a sweet gentle kiss.
As he pulled back, he left one little statement. With his lips still resting against Bucky’s warm skin, he whispered “Maybe later.”
Bucky’s eyes became huge and he blushed even more. Before Sam could celebrate his little achievement, he was slammed to the ground, now straddled between Bucky’s legs.
Bucky leaned in close, just as Sam had done and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before whispering,“Or maybe now.”
Sam gulped loudly and cleared his throat, clearly aroused.
“N-now will work.”