Secret War

Tom woke up the next morning to find himself alone in bed.

It looks like I had a dream about I met my Spider-Man. Tom looked at the messy quilt and sat up from the bed.
Then he saw brown hair curled up between the bed and the wall.

Tom froze and couldn't even breathe.
Is that Sam or Harry? No, why they sleeping on the ground?
Or is that person Peter Parker?
He squeezed his face, then turned on his phone and started reading a random piece of news.

His heart was beating wildly and he could barely concentrate to read.
God, God, God, God.
Tom found that he could recognize many words on the phone screen.

Omg, I'm reading, which means I'm not dreaming, Spider-Man is real.

Spider-man is in my bedroom.

Tom had to work really hard to calm himself down, and he started thinking about yesterday while looking at Peter.

Spider-man in my bedroom.

Tom put aside his excitement and excitement, and his nervousness, and began to observe the boy carefully.

Peter Parker put himself in that cramped space, his hands wrapped around his legs, his head buried in his arms, and he seemed to be sleeping.

He is definitely thinner than me. Tom thought. He noticed how vulnerable and defensive the boy's posture was, desperately trying to isolate himself from something.

Tony is dead! ! He remembered Spider-Man's cry yesterday, and then more because of it.
Now he understands.
After so many bad things, and the loss of a very important person, Peter Parker developed PTSD.

Peter Parker is only 16 years old.
Tom felt his stomach churning.
He never really thought about how much pain his movie characters had suffered,
Because Peter Parker is just a fictional character to himself, a person who exists only in fantasy.

He does try to figure out the psychology of the character when filming, and respond according to the character and characteristics of the character. He thinks that most of himself did become Peter Parker during the shoot, but after that, off-camera, he didn't think much of it.

Now that Peter Parker is in front of him,
His world has changed.

Tom gently put his feet on the floor and walked away from his bed carefully and slowly: he doesn’t want to wake Peter.

Peter woke up suddenly.
He looked around in panic, then noticed the man with the blanket in front of him.
"Where am I?" he panted, shaking, leaning against the wall to try to stand.

"England, London, my home." The man stepped back and made a soothing gesture, looking at him worriedly. "I'm Tom, remember? Your actor. I had a chat with you yesterday afternoon. Uh, are you ok?"

Peter almost climbed to the wall, breathing heavily, his eyes fixed on the floor, obviously thinking something. Finally he nodded, then stared at the man without saying a word, which made the latter a little confused.

"Well, since you're awake, I don't think this is going to be useful. Uh, Would you like some breakfast?"
Tom tried to break the silence and put the blanket in his hand on the bed. "Or maybe you want to shower first? Or take a shower?" He looked away from Peter's face to the Spider-Man suit.
"I have some clothes that I haven't wear." Tom walked over to the closet and opened it, following his vague impression, grabbing a few clothes and pants and placing them on the bed.

"You don't have to wear your suit all the time, I know what the feel is." The words made Peter look at Tom with a weird face.
"Well, I'll leave these clothes here, you can choose what you like!"
Tom noticed that look, and he didn't want to be misunderstood, so he immediately said, "I'm going to prepare breakfast, do you like oatmeal or omelette?"

There was vigilance in Peter's brown eyes, which made Tom inexplicably nervous and anxious.
"Well, or whatever you want to eat? I can order takeout." He tried to sound normal.

Peter opened his mouth, but made no sound. Then he noticed the worried mood of the man who looked exactly like him. Damn, that face was exactly what he would look like when he was worried.
He frowned and tapped his chest to spit out the simpler word. "egg."

"Got it !" Tom left the bedroom without staying a second longer.

In the silent room, Peter let out a heavy sigh.
He sat in bed for a few minutes, then stood up to move his sore joints and noticed a sticky feeling on his skin. He sniffed his suit again.
Well, I do need to take a shower. He grabbed the clothes from the bed and went to the bathroom.

Tom absent-mindedly frys eggs and sausages while trying to eavesdrop on Spider-Man's actions under the distraction of the range hood. He spat out a breath of carbon dioxide in relief when he heard the sound of water coming from the bathroom.
Well, at least Spider-Man, Peter Parker can accept the kindness of others. Great.
Tom didn't realize the corners of his mouth were rising.

Tom sat down in a chair after bringing the prepared breakfast to the table and started thinking. Then he hears the shower stop, and a few minutes later Peter shows up, wiping wet hair - which definitely grabs all Tom's attention. The boy changed into an orange hoodie and black slacks and walked up to Tom, barefoot.

"Thank you." The boy's voice was no longer so dead, and there was a faint trace of vitality.

"Ah? Huh? Oh! Don't worry! Not a big deal !" Tom looked away from Peter's face, clumsily reaching for the cutlery. "Breakfast is ready! I hope you like it!"

Peter blinked and sat down at the dining table, silently eating the eggs on the plate.

During the meal, Tom couldn't help but secretly looked at the boy opposite, trying to break the dull atmosphere.

"Do you like it?" Tom finally found his courage.

"Yes." Peter looked up at Tom. "They're very——"

He see those eyes.
Those are tender eyes.
Full of love, understanding, care and worry, like a fire in winter.

Brown eyes look at brown eyes.

He see those eyes.
It was a pair of broken eyes.
Showing sadness, remorse, fear and pain.
Showing sadness, remorse, fear and pain.

This is their first encounter.

They ate the rest of their breakfast in silence.

"About your lost crystal," Tom put the cutlery into the sink. "I scoured the kitchen again and checked the garbage bag, but I still can't find it. Maybe we'll have to take the sink apart and look at it?"

"Ah, yes, my crystal." Peter looked nervous. "I’m about to tell you."

"I promise we'll find it, I swear I didn't hide it while you were asleep! Please trust me I won't do anything to hurt you!!"

"I believe you!" Peter subconsciously grabbed the man's waving hand, his brown eyes as firm as his voice.
Tom looked at the boy in surprise. "Oh, that's...great. Thank you."

"I found it. Tom."

"What?! Where?"

"In my left hand."
Peter opened his left hand, and the purple crystal floated in the air.

"I thought of what it looked like while I was taking a shower, and it appeared in my clasped left hand."

The older man opened his mouth in surprise. "Wow, that's ……really amazing."

"Yes, yeah, I'm sure it's a magic thing," Peter said. His left hand closed and opened, this time the crystal was gone.

"I’m really thank you for your help yesterday, Tom. If it wasn't for you, I'd be dead." Peter looked the man in the eyes. "I, I'm so sorry for causing you so much trouble, I treat you like another me, yell at you, and make you endure my noise."
"Sorry, please forgive me."

Tom's heart stabbed again.
"No, I wouldn't blame it on you." Tom's hand hesitated in the air, as did his tongue. "I don't blame you, you're hurt, you're nervous. It's not your fault."
He managed to take Peter's hands so their eyes met.

"In a sense I'm another you, so I think I...I definitely didn't mean to offend you, you can think I know how you feel."
"I just want to say I understand you, Peter. You can yell at me, you have the right to be angry with me, I don't care. Because I know better than anyone else what's going on. What happened to you……”

"You don't know."
The boy murmured desperately, trembling. His eyes were closed, and he didn't want to see the sympathy in the other person's eyes.

But another decided to turn his heart into words.
"I know now. When you appeared in front of me, I knew more clearly how the things you went through made you feel, I want to tell you, even if you are alone I was there at all the time."

Tom didn't notice the lack of structure in his words, he just kept talking, hoping his words could reach the boy's heart.
"I may not have a very deep understanding ——but I, I will cry for you."

Peter snapped his eyes open, his brown eyes revealing surprise and vigilance.

"No," he murmured, repeating the negative again, backing away with a trembling body. "You don't know me." He couldn't, because Tom's hand was on his.

"You don't really cry for a stranger," Peter continued, trying again to break free of Tom's grip.
But Tom didn't let him go. His eyes didn't take a millimeter from the boy's face, and he grabbed the boy's hand slightly harder.

Stop. Peter shouted in his head to the Englishman who played him. Stop, Stop.

But his vocal cords continued to vibrate, against the wishes of its owner.
"I know what's going on with people. They'll pop out of the air, crying and yelling, pretending how familiar they are with you, telling you how much they care about you and How sorry for what happened to you.”

Stop. Stop. Stop your damn eyes.

"They've never cared about you. They don't even know your name. They're sharks that gather with the smell of blood and pretend to be a friendly dolphin."

Why are they like a fire on a winter night, like a sweet Crème brûlée?

"They'll eat you up and gild your bones and put them in a museum."

Stop, Stop, Stop.

——Stop looking at me like that.

The tears clouded Peter's vision, and Tom lowered his eyes.

"I, I have to leave, May must be looking for me everywhere."

Tom didn't let go.

"May will be worried."

After a moment of silence, Tom released Peter's left hand.
"Will you come back?"

"…I don't know." the boy said with a hint of weeping.

"I always welcome you!"
But Peter had already grasped the lilac crystal shard, and he disappeared into the air with a 'crack'.

Tom stood quietly in the empty house, wondering if Spider-Man heard his last words. It took him a long time to stare at where Peter Parker had disappeared before realizing there was something on his face. He reached out to touch it, a wet trace.

The sun slid into the house unhurriedly through the window, showing that it didn't care about it all. Time passes as usual, and a minute still takes 60 seconds to complete.
Only a couple of dishes in the kitchen sink and a crack in the tile could prove something was going on in this house.

Or some other evidence.

When Tom returned to his bedroom again, he noticed the red and blue fabric on the floor.
When he recognized what it was, he couldn't help but burst into a burst of warm joy.

[Three days later]

Tom started taking off his clothes as soon as he entered the bedroom. He threw his dirty clothes on the floor and casually scoured the closet trying to find a T-shirt that pleased him. He humming his Spider-Man theme song, completely ignores the people who on the ceiling.

When he found a white clothes that pleased him, he turned and noticed the unnatural shadows on the floor. He paused, and turned his eyes to the ceiling.

Peter Parker was staring at the half-naked him, visibly shocked.

"You know what, this reminds me of the scene How Ned found out you're Spider-Man." Tom said something calmly that he didn't expect himself after a minute of silence. The voice in his head was yelling at him: "He's back! He's back! He's willing to come back!!!"

Spider-Man clearly remembered that thing when the redness on his face became visible to the naked eye. "It was an accident."
Tom was pleased to note that the boy's complexion was better than before, although his dark circles were still very bad.
He wanted to ask Spider-Man if he slept at all, but he held back, he didn't think he should talk about it now.

"Why are you blushing? I think we're both the same size. You know, when I'm playing you, your body is——"

"What?! This, this is different! At most I just looked at my naked body in the mirror! And you obviously have more muscles than me!!" Peter pointed a finger from the ceiling at the man.

"Yeah, you know what, I need to exercise to stay in shape." Tom realized that Spider-Man was shy, so he bent his arms to show his muscles, delighted to find Peter's eyes on his muscles. "I'm more curious why you are thinner than me."

The question caught Spider-Man's attention, and Peter frowned and thought. "Hmm... maybe it's because our worlds don't have the same time? No, no. Schrödinger? Nope. World and world interaction? String Theory error?"
He made a few more guesses and finally gave up because the man on the ground obviously couldn't understand what he is saying.

"All I know is that when I do your part, you're going to be exactly like mine," Tom said.

"Then I hope you can keep your current figure, I don't want to get too strong." Peter frowned dissatisfied.

"Me too, glad you like my body." He threw a smile at Spider-Man on the ceiling, and started getting dressed.

Peter stammered and couldn't say a word. His face turned even redder, and he told himself it was because he had been on the ceiling for too long. So he released himself and fell onto Tom's bed.

"I'm just glad you aren’t wearing Spider-Man suit today, you really need a break." Tom's voice came from Peter's side, serious in his tone.

"That's because I left it with you. I had to come to you when May had to go to work. She stayed by my side for four days." Peter looked at the man lying beside him dissatisfied. Tom Holland, obviously doesn't care about his personal distance. "Have you put it away?"

"I've washed it with hands for you." Tom smiled and patted Peter's hand. "She grounded you after you went back?"
"I'd call it 'incarceration'. She's been following me and even put an alarm on the window." Peter's voice sounded dissatisfied. (Or irritated? Tom wasn't sure.)
"I guess I should be thankful I didn't bring my suit back so I could convince her that I wasn't out patrolling or she might actually lock me in a cage." Peter’s voice with a touch of fear again.

"She's worried about you," Tom said softly, not letting his voice get too emotional. "You disappeared all night after all."

Peter was silent. He knew that was true. They were each other's only relatives, and he had a panic attack when he realized he might never be able to go home again, and May was naturally very, very concerned when he found out he was missing.

"And You deserve a break."Tom said.

"Do you have any good ideas other than sleeping?" Peter looked at him defiantly?

"Well, do you want to play games? I have a PS4."

"Sounds good." Peter nodded, getting up from the bed.

So they played the game for five full hours.

"Ah, I admit those games you bought are good, but I still prefer Mario Kart." Peter lay down on the sofa and looked at Tom happily.

"I know you're obsessed with Star Wars. Next time we can play a Star Wars game if you want."

"What?! You have a Star Wars game?!" Peter's brown eyes widened with wild excitement.

"Yes, if you come next time, you can swing a saber."

"God, of course! I won't miss this!!"

"Wow, calm down dude, you're really a Star Wars fanatic, but you don't want to use up all your energy before you get to it. You should get some sleep now."

"Yeah. Yeah." Peter closed his eyes and tried a few minutes of silence. Then he felt a long-lost drowsiness.
"...Can you wake me up in an hour? I think I'm sleepy."

"Sure, you can use my bedroom, would you like a blanket?"

"Whatever." Peter yawned and walked towards the bedroom.

Tom covered the boy with a blanket and closed the curtains. After doing these things, he went back to the bed and sat down, quietly watching the boy's sleeping face.

Things are a little weird. Tom can see.

He remembered how Peter left crying the last time, the boy's words revealing his distrust of strangers, along with grief and remorse. But he could barely see those things in the conversation just now, Spid ——did Peter handle it well? Tom doesn't think so, because the dark circles and signs of malnutrition are still visible.
Peter Parker clearly needs more rest. Body and mental both. So Tom decided not to bring up their last conversation.

It's still early, so he keeps his eyes on that same face.
Messy brown hair hides part of Peter's eyelashes, his brows are slightly curved, his chin has some stubble, and his cheeks look comical from the squeezing of pillows.
Another thing worth noting is the look on Peter's face: Sleepy wipes away the remaining snow with her probing hands, revealing what's hidden beneath the ice.

Peter Parker didn't get the peace.

Tom felt the boy beside him roll over, but he didn't care too much.
Then the boy did it second time, third time, and a fourth time. He started to make faint noises, twisting restlessly, and the blanket had been kicked to the end of the bed by him.

Tom hesitates to wake Peter from his nightmare, his gut telling him it's not a really good idea. But he also knew what he had to do, he couldn't stand by, he couldn't watch the boy suffer in his sleep.
The next time Peter turns to him, Tom lets his fingers touch the back of Peter's hand so he can try to hold Peter's hand.

Peter reacts quickly - he grabbed Tom's clothes.

Wow, oh well. This is not what he expected. But whatever, he didn't care.

Peter continued to grab more of Tom's T-shirt, his fingers almost piercing the poor fabric. Tom's eyes widened as Peter was pulling him towards him with a great force.
If it weren't for the fact that he played Spider-Man, Tom believed that his body would have smashed into the face of the real Spider-Man.

He brought himself with the limbs in time and let his body above the boy.
He was panting, his heart was beating wildly, and there was only a few centimeters between his chest and Peter's face.

Peter stopped pulling, and for a moment Tom thought the boy had calmed down.
But Peter wasn't satisfied, and after a few minutes he continued to pull on the older man's clothes, successfully dropping the man on top of him.
He woke up suddenly, not understanding what was going on. His cheekbones were aching from the impact, and there was only dim light in front of his eyes, and his nose smelled the scent of sweat and shower gel.
He heard Tom moan above his head.

"Tom?" he asked suspiciously.

"Yes, it's me." There was helplessness in Tom's voice, and he relaxed his body, letting his entire weight fall on Peter.

"Why are you pressing on me?"

"Because you're still holding onto my clothes tightly."

It took Peter a few seconds to understand the words, and he loosened the fabric in his hands so that Tom could move away from him.

"Oh my god, I'm really sorry for ruining your clothes..."
Peter stared in horror at the unusable garment, whose collar had been ripped below Tom's chest. "I will pay!"
Tom glanced at his clothes, shook his head and refused. "Just a T-shirt, you don't need."

"But——"

"You really don't need do it, Peter. My conscience will be rebuked if I ask you to pay for my clothes after you've done so much for New York." Tom took off the broken clothes, Looking genuinely into Peter's eyes. "And you're my favorite idol. My favorite... person. Would you let your idol pay for your clothes?"

Peter was taken aback by Tom's words. "Well, no."
His eyes drifted over Tom's, then quickly returned to the latter's. he asked hesitantly. "Why do you like me? Because I'm Spider-Man?"

"Uh."
This time it was Tom's turn to be embarrassed. He looked away from Peter's, looking for a piece of clothing. "I..." He faltered, scratching his head with his hands.

For some reason, Peter felt a pang of loss, and sadness.
"It doesn't matter, I understand that in front of the parties——"

"Because you use your power to help others!!" Tom blurted out the words, and Peter was startled.

"You are kind! Very kind!! You have always want to help others! After gaining inhuman power you choose to use it to do good!! Most teens only use it as a show off, you are an excellent people." Tom said quickly, making some gestures. And then at some point, he realized what he was doing, so he stabilized his gaze and stopped avoiding Peter's.

"Most of Marvel's heroes are busy battling powerful villains." He slowed his speech by taking a deep breath. "But you choose to stand with the general public. You notice what they ignore, you care about the 'Nobody' ——the people who can only be an extra in a movie, and who won't be on the cast their names."

Tom paused, noticing Spider-Man's shaking arms. He decided to change the topic.
"And you're smart, you can figure out complex and difficult problems! You're good at advanced chemistry! Physics and math! You can figure out problems that most people can't solve. You made your web by yourself! You're a genius, Peter, a genius without a doubt! You'll go to MIT, you'll change the world, use your wit and your heart to make it better, and You will be remembered forever."

Tom looked into Peter's amazed and suspicious eyes, a pain in his chest. He couldn't help grabbing the boy's shoulders.
"Do you know how valuable you are?"

Do you know how precious you are?

Peter's eyes widened.

He didn't understand what the man meant.

He knew he is smart, smarter than most of the students in his school. But change the world? I’m precious?

"I’m not ——" He tried to breathe. "I."

"If you don't know, I'll tell you. Peter, Peter Parker, you're precious, you're amazing, you're worthy of love. You're loved by so many people. I'd like to keep reminding you."
Tom squeezed Peter's biceps tighter, trying to let him know it is reality.

Peter stared blankly at his actor, his mind blank, unable to utter a wisecrack.
Why does this person praise him without hesitation? Is it because he's Spider-Man? A fan to his idol? Or just to make him happy?

"And you're really cool. I've been dreaming of playing you one day since I got into the movie business," the man added, blushing.

"I am not——dude, thanks for the compliment, but I really——"

Peter fell into a tight hug.
"They are truth, and what I say is true, with my heart."
"You're Peter Parker and I like you."

He only said those words because you were Spider-Man. Peter told himself. This person is an actor, he can play the part he wants and say the necessary lines.

But he's his actor, right? He definitely has some affection for the character he plays.
Right?

"Peter, Spidey, I'm not asking you to believe me right away because we haven't known each other for 48 hours."
"I just want you to give me a chance to stay by your side and let me help you." Tom patted Peter on the back, reassuring the boy. “ but believe or not, you are amazing.”

Peter doesn't say anything, because he's too busy breathing instead of letting himself make a sound. His body obviously didn't agree with those negative thoughts he just had, and it made him hug the man tightly and bury his face in the other's neck.

Tom hugged him tightly, like he would never let him go.