Jealousy
“Aayla!” Ziva exclaimed, happy to see her friend. “How are you?”
Aayla hugged her. “I'm doing alright. Being at war is strange. Have you heard from Ferus and Nahdar? Are they going to be able to join us?”
“Well, I am.” Ferus was right behind her.
Aayla spun and hugged him. “It's great to see you again! I don't think I've seen you since you were Knighted!”
Ferus returned the hug. “Yeah, that was like a month before the war started, and now Nahdar and Anakin are Knights! I can't believe it.” He chuckled.
“I can do you one better. Anakin has a padawan.”
“No!” Ziva gasped. “I've barely heard from him and he didn't mention that!” Anakin had always been the worst correspondent of the group.
“It's true!” Aayla grinned. “I've seen them. Ahsoka is a great padawan for him, they're a good match. But it's so weird seeing our Ani being a master.”
“It really is,” Nahdar agreed, joining them. “But he's really good with her.”
Ferus shook his head. “Better Ani than me. I'm nowhere near ready for that. Not sure I'll ever be, but Siri says she had been uncertain if she could handle it. Yet she took on me... so I guess maybe one day. But definitely not now. War isn't really time to take on a padawan, especially not as a shadow.”
“Yeah, shadow work makes it difficult to raise a padawan,” Ziva agreed. “Especially with the war. I don't think I've had much of a break in months. I have two weeks and then it's back to the missions. And three weeks is the longest I've gone between missions. I was supposed to have some month long ones but emergencies keep coming up.”
Aayla nodded. “I've been having some problems with that too. Something is always wrong, and we're all stretched so thin...”
“It doesn't help that you're one of the guardians who can fit in where needed,” Nahdar pointed out, then sighed. “Being a field healer isn't what I thought it would be, but it does mean I'm requested a lot too. It's hard.”
Ferus patted Nahdar's shoulder. “So we're all having a rough time. Let's just have fun, catch up on more gossip.”
“I don't know that Anakin's having a rough time,” Aayla said before she could stop herself. She ducked her head sheepishly when they all turned to stare at her. “He's the poster boy for the war. They have to give him breaks just for the press. Plus with him paired with Obi-Wan all the time, when Obi-Wan gets a break, especially now that he's on the Council, he's getting more than I am I'm pretty sure.”
“I'm detecting some resentment.” Ziva leaned in. “Tell me more?”
“Not much to tell.” Aayla deflected. “I'm a bit jealous. I'll get over it.”
“I don't think that's the case,” Ferus pointed out. He always did know her rather well, considering he knew what buttons to push to get a rise out of her at one point. “There's a lot bothering you.”
Aayla huffed. “It's a little weird right now. Anakin has made a huge name for himself. Quinlan and Obi-Wan are on the Council and well known themselves, even more than they used to be. Kit's on the Council, too, and Nahdar works with him a lot so people are noticing him. You two are shadows so you can't be noticed and it's just weird not being as noticed.”
“You're pretty popular, you know,” Nahdar said after exchanging an alarmed look with the other two. “A lot of the civilians I help look up to you. Yeah, you're not as well known as others, but you're getting noticed far more than others are. Give yourself more credit.”
“I guess... It's still weird though. Being relatively unnoticed despite who trained me. Because they don't pair me up with him or any of the other well known ones. Usually because they need me everywhere, and there's no reason to pair me up with others... but it is still difficult.”
Ferus wrapped an arm around Aayla. "So what I'm hearing is you need a night to relax, let loose, and forget about expectations for a while. We're going clubbing."
Aayla blinked. "You sure?"
Nahdar, the one who was most likely to say no, shrugged. "It's been a while since I've been at anything like that. One time could be fun. And you need cheering up."
Aayla smiled. "Alright, I'd like that."
"But we are going to finish talking about this sometime," Ziva said firmly. "I'm worried about how you're feeling. This kind of came out of nowhere."
Aayla winced. "It's the war, I think," she confessed. "Everything has changed so fast, there's no end in sight already, and it's not even been a year. Before the war, I was still getting paired with Quin all the time, and that was great. We worked together well, all our missions were better with two than one, and there was no reason to change things, though I did get a few solo missions. And Ani's got a padawan and everyone's asking why I haven't gotten one yet since they think of us as practically siblings 'cause of how close Quin and Obi are and how much we trained together and... The war is still a thing, I'm falling in love with my commander, and the Chancellor keeps inviting me for tea alone because apparently he grew fond of me after talking to Quin for so many years..."
"Okay, slow down," Ferus said, putting his hands on her shoulders and looking her in the eyes. "We will talk about this later. Tonight is for chilling and letting loose, not for thinking about such things. Tomorrow we will talk more and see if we can develop a game plan. We can hang out with you and Ani separately if it helps, okay?"
Aayla let out a breath. "Okay. That... that sounds doable. Thank you."
"Fantastic. Now let's go get dressed for clubbing, see you boys there!" Ziva called over her shoulder before dragging Aayla off to go get ready.
Aayla enjoyed the clubbing, and she felt a lot more relaxed the next morning when she woke up in a pile of friends. After a bit, they woke up, and talked. There was crying, the other three admitted to deeper feelings, and a support group was put into place. There was debate about Anakin, but he seemed to be far better supported, so they would wait and see if he actually needed help or not.
That night, Aayla was relaxing with a good book, feeling a lot better when she got a message.
Hello, Aayla.
She frowned at the unknown number. Hello? Who are you?
You may call me Sidious.
Aayla stared at the message and shakily went to block the number.
Now, now, don't block me. I found your number once, I can find it again. Or I could visit you in person.
Aayla's eyes widened and she bit her lip, debating for a moment before she responded.
Why me?
I have had my eye on you ever since Quinlan took you on as his padawan, and you have proven to have been a good choice. When we fought on Hades, I was most impressed with your ability to stay calm and use your skills to the fullest you could with your abilities.
What does that have to do with anything?
It is all part of my plan, which I will not tell you.
Then why message me?
Oh, I heard that you were out with friends last night and things got a bit... out of hand.
What do you mean?
Aayla stared, eyes wide, at the picture of her very much drunk, on a table and all in all not acting like a Jedi. It was allowed, yes, but with the war and her being semi-famous, it would not be good if the media got a hold of that particular picture or anything like it.
Where did you get this?
I have my ways.
What do you want?
Don't tell anyone about me, and no one has to see this picture. Now would be a terrible time to ruin your reputation. And don't block me. I expect an answer within a day of me contacting you.
Aayla stared at the message, hands shaking. She should just tell Quin and he'd help her take care of it. But... he had enough to worry about and she couldn’t always be relying on him. She could take care of herself.
I won't tell anyone or block you.
Good, Aayla. Good.
Why are you interested in me?
Oh, that is my little secret. I will tell you... eventually. For now, you are useful to my plans. If things elsewhere fall through, you are vital.
I am? Aayla fidgeted while she waited for a response. It was... almost nice being told she was important. Even if it was to the wrong side.
Oh, yes. You are very important. Far more than you can imagine. You have the skills. You will only grow. You became a knight years earlier than Quinlan did. And you had the sense not to rush into taking on a padawan when Anakin did not.
I see. Aayla knew she shouldn't trust him. That he was trying to flatter her. So she tried to keep her message short and cordial. But it was working, and a small part of her wanted the acknowledgment, wanted to be a part of something bigger, to be important. A traitorous part she should not indulge. But it was so, so tempting already.
You are doing well. Handling all your missions with poise and grace, showing tremendous skill and power for your age. I wish to see more of that in the future, Aayla.
I'm not that special.
Oh, but you are. It's the people like you that will win the war while others like Anakin and Obi-Wan reap all the praise and acknowledgement. It's okay to be jealous of them.
Jealousy is a negative feeling that leads to the Dark side.
Ah yes, you are a Jedi. I quite forgot for a moment. Silly me.
Are we done here?
For now, dear Aayla. For now. I will be in touch. If you don't respond... well, I might just have to pay you an in-person visit. Good bye now.
Good bye.
Aayla dropped the comm as if it were on fire and buried her head in her knees. Why was this working so well on her? Why was he targeting her? What could she do against such temptation?
She took a breath and steeled herself. She was going to have to keep denying him what he wanted. She would hold out. She had to. Right?
But he was acknowledging her and she wanted people to notice her, she wanted what everyone else in her small family had.
.
Obi-Wan did not recover from the Blue Shadow Virus as expected. Mostly because he was with the 501st who didn't push him on the touch thing the way the 212th medics did. He thought maybe Kix assumed he was getting enough from Ahsoka and Anakin. Only, Anakin wasn't visiting frequently, and there was no overnight cuddling because Anakin was forgetful about that. Ahsoka was good, but she was only one person and the 501st medics were a bit more uneasy about letting people on the beds.
This was nothing unusual across the galaxy. Quinlan and Obi-Wan, and their masters before they started advocating for themselves, had to regularly argue with healers in the Temple about letting them cuddle and letting Anakin cuddle. Thankfully, that dropped a bit after Quinlan's thesis on how touch affected healing was released, but there were still some conflicts.
Obi-Wan wasn't about to push it. He would recover in time, as long as he was getting some touch. Besides, even with touch he'd still be recovering slower than everyone because he had pushed himself too far keeping others away. Used too much Force healing on everyone, keeping too little for himself. He needed to recover from that as well
Cody stared at his general when he stepped off of the ship. He was still ashen with a hint of blue. He was visibly exhausted. He was still coughing. And he was much thinner.
“Right to the medbay, sir.”
“Of course, Cody.” Obi-Wan agreed softly. Then he coughed. “It's nice to see you.” He started walking slowly, not having the energy to keep to a faster pace.
Cody stuck with him, glancing at him worriedly. “Why did they release you if you're still like this?”
“They didn't. I'm to go straight to the medbay,” there was the slightest hint of amusement in his voice, “but some exercise is necessary at this point in healing, so I'm allowed to walk. As long as I take it slowly and don't push my limits.”
“Oh.” Cody frowned. “Just about everyone else has recovered, why haven’t you?”
Obi-Wan was not about to admit to being on the edge of touch-starved despite Ahsoka's efforts. “I used too much of the Force to keep everyone alive. As such, it made me more vulnerable, and I am still recovering from that as well.” He stopped to cough, then resumed walking.
Cody frowned more. “It still seems odd that it is hitting you so hard.”
“It doesn't matter.” Obi-Wan waved a hand. “I'll make a full recovery anyways.”
Cody narrowed his eyes. Something wasn't right. At one point Obi-Wan needed to stop and lean on a wall. Cody stepped up to support him.
“You know you can always lean on me if that would help.” Cody was a little alarmed by the way Obi-Wan relaxed at the touch. Not super noticeably, but Cody had watched him enough to notice.
“Right, thank you Cody.” Obi-Wan tiredly leaned on him.
Cody wrapped his arm around Obi-Wan. If Obi-Wan was relaxing that much from touch, was he touch starved? He had heard from Manner that he and Kix had been disagreeing about how much they needed to humor the need for touch, and on top of that, Anakin had never been injured enough for an overnight stay when Kix was in charge. He just always went straight for the cuddle pile.
But Obi-Wan, while happy to join the cuddle piles when invited, respected their boundaries. Maybe a little too much. He never asked. He barely did the little touches that Cody knew he enjoyed, the ones he saw Anakin do regularly with everyone.
So when faced with Kix, who wasn't inclined to allow cuddling in the medbay... Obi-Wan wasn't going to push it. He wasn't going to ask anyone for help. If Ahsoka hadn't insisted on sticking to his side like glue, there was a decent chance Obi-Wan wouldn't have been getting any touch.
Which meant they now needed to figure out how to get Obi-Wan comfortable with asking for what he needed instead of respecting their boundaries too much.
Cody considered further as they approached the medbay. Obi-Wan let out a sigh of relief as the door came into view.
Maybe once Obi-Wan was recovered they needed to start showing him they were okay with it. He could easily see how they treated each other. If they included him in that, without him asking, maybe he would realize that it was okay to ask. That they didn't have boundaries around it. It was nice of him to worry that him asking would be overstepping or something. Maybe that they'd feel obligated since he's their general? It didn't matter.
Manner met them at the door and smiled at Obi-Wan. “Good to have you back, General.” He looked over Obi-Wan critically. “Right, I want to examine you to double check what Kix sent over.”
“Of course.” Obi-Wan nodded and walked to the bed indicated without support.
Manner looked at Cody. “How is he?”
“Not good. Needs more touch, I think. He relaxed as soon as I touched him. But you know he's never going to ask.”
Manner smirked. “He won't have to. Everyone says he's impossible to remove when cuddling, so I just need him to use that to keep Blaze in bed because he keeps trying to escape.”
“Oh, that is an excellent plan. I'll leave you to it.”
“Do come and visit him while he's here. Pretty sure he enjoys your company.” Manner gave him a knowing smirk.
Cody looked away. “I can do that. But... he's with General Vos so. I can only be his friend.” He cleared his throat. “Well, I'll be back later.” He hurried out the door.
Manner gaped at his retreating back. “Has he... has he not looked at the files properly?” Manner muttered to himself. It was there, clear as day in General Kenobi's files that he and General Vos were brothers.
Oh, Manner certainly understood why many would assume that they're together. They were close in a sort of way that was rare outside of romantic relationships. But it was right there in the files. He made a note to message Humerus with this development. He had to know if Fox thought the same thing, if that was something everyone thought
But first, it was to take care of Obi-Wan. Their general was reckless, but good hearted. He pushed his limits, yes, but never quite enough to be trying to get himself killed. He just didn't want to let people die or even get hurt if he could do something.
Once he was done with the examination, Manner smiled at the general. “I need your help.”
“You do?” Obi-Wan blinked in surprise. “Don't I need to rest?”
“Yes, you can get your rest, but well... I've heard that you get incredibly clingy when you sleep?”
Obi-Wan nodded, a little sheepish.
“Good. Blaze has a concussion and really shouldn't be going anywhere. But he keeps trying to escape, claiming it's not that bad.”
Obi-Wan lit up with a smirk. “Cuddling them into submission. My favorite.” He chuckled. “I used to do that all the time with Anakin and I've been doing it with people being idiots since the war started.”
“Good. I may ask for your help in that capacity again sometime. At least you know better. I've heard some of the other Jedi don't.”
Obi-Wan chuckled. “Yes, that is a problem. There are reasons for it. Medbays aren't comfortable places for people attuned to how others feel. It lingers so strongly that you don't need psychometry to feel it. Many Jedi don't feel totally safe until back in the Temple because they're usually not safe until back at the Temple as we don’t usually travel with healers or medics. Give those ones time and they'll relax. Others have been conditioned to ignore injuries and push too far due to the sorts of missions they tend to get. Or because they had bad role models.”
“Hmm. Any advice I can give them?”
“A lot of Jedi will be calmer and more comfortable recovering in their own rooms. If they're stuck in the medbay, even formwork would be a welcome distraction from the pain and misery they will be feeling. Also, if they can get their Jedi to trust them, getting to the root of why they are avoiding the medbay can be a big help. For one, I know some are wary of the fact that many will treat the Jedi first before worse injuries.”
Manner nodded thoughtfully. “Alright, that's a big help, thank you. Now please go restrain Blaze.”
Obi-Wan chuckled and made his way to Blaze's bed. He yawned. “I've been told you need company?”
Blaze eyed him. “Uh... shouldn't you be resting, sir?”
“Shouldn't you?”
Blaze was halfway out of bed when Obi-Wan got to him. So he pouted and laid back down. “Now I am.”
“Just to be sure you keep resting, I'll join you.” Obi-Wan climbed into the bed, yawning.
Blaze stared at him with wide eyes. “Uh... sir?”
“I'm getting rest, you're getting rest, Manner approved. Don't worry about it.” Obi-Wan dropped an arm over Blaze and closed his eyes, asleep before Blaze could formulate a response.
.
The rumors about why Blaze stopped trying to escape the medbay went around like wild, especially after some checked and found him pinned by the general, who was fast asleep, but already looking better. Most found it entertaining, but some of the smarter ones realized that if the medics had used Obi-Wan's clinginess against one of them, they would use it against all of them. The rest would find out the hard way.
They shouldn't have been surprised. It wasn't like Obi-Wan hadn't been using it against them already. But now the rest of the medics were in on it and happy to point him at the unruly patients.
Obi-Wan was cleared just in time for the battle of Ryloth, though under strict orders not to overdo it because he was not 100% yet. Obi-Wan was reminded of what recovering from the Chandrilan flu was like, and he hadn't been coughing that time.
Cuddling with Blaze really had jump started his recovery though, so Obi-Wan was grateful for Manner's idea. He rather suspected that Manner hadn't just done it for Blaze, but for Obi-Wan too. Not that Obi-Wan would ever complain about the simple solution to having to ask for cuddling. He had been doing that already, after all.
When he met up with Anakin and Ahsoka afterwards, he was given quite the tale. Ahsoka had messed up on her first time commanding her squad, which was to be expected. Anakin felt a bit guilty about not giving her something smaller and less risky. But it really was mostly Ahsoka's fault for not listening to orders and falling back.
Anakin gave her a pep talk, as did Yularen, who had been injured as a result of her mistake. Anakin needed her to be ready to lead, as they had to repair the other ship. With Yularen down, there were the two of them and Rex who could be in charge, and with Rex just a captain, Ahsoka had to be doing something.
But she was not sure about it. Anakin walked her through some meditation, asked her to listen to the Force, as he had to take care of other things, and she had to be ready to lead, no matter how hard it was. Because mistakes happened, and the important thing was learning from them and moving forward.
Thankfully, that did the trick and between the two of them, plus Rex, they figured out how to get past the blockade with as minimal casualties as possible. Yularen stepped in when there was some skepticism about the plans. The Jedi may be crazy, but they were usually right about the best strategies, no matter how much he despaired that their strategies weren't the military strategies.
Ahsoka then got a reminder about being overconfident and not listening during the next mission when she failed to retreat as ordered. This time she was punished by the Council for it. After things went wrong with a holocron being stolen and she was given the chance to drop the punishment, she declined, admitting they were right. She had been spending too much time fighting and not enough time being a Jedi. She needed the downtime since she wasn't able to balance it.
And so the war moved on.