Goodbye
I was just putting my dark blue tank top into our bag when the bell rang.
"I'll get it!" Phil called out. I walked out of the room and into the living area.
"Daisy!" Phil hugged her and let go so she could hug me.
"Hey, guys!"
I smiled and nodded.
"So when are you guys leaving?"
"In a few hours. We were just packing our stuff."
"Wait, so where our you guys going anyway?"
"Maui. Andrew got two tickets almost a year ago for him and me but I didn't want to go. So, he emailed me the tickets as our wedding gift from him."
"Well, that's nice."
"Guys, I have a question."
"Yes?"
"When's my birthday?"
"Uhm, March fourteenth."
"That's not that far away from July 2nd."
I frowned, realizing that, July 2nd was the day after Layla was taken. I felt myself drown into the darkness of my nightmares. Wanting to reach out and not panic, but failing. I felt a hand on my shoulder, probably Phil but I was too lost to notice. I could hear mumbling sounds but couldn't make out the words. July 2nd. July 2nd. No, Melinda. Breathe. Calm down.
I gasped as I finally got a hold of myself. Breathing heavily, "How Long?" I asked.
"Almost an hour."
"Shit. Dammit." I looked up at Phil, "Sorry."
"It's fine. Daisy left a while ago. Said it would be better if she wasn't here when you came back."
I sighed, "I need help, don't I?"
"I'm not answering that, Mel. That's for you to decide." Phil pulled me into a hug.
I bit my lip as I forced down tears. Stupid hormones.
"You can let go, y'know."
"I know." I pulled back and looked into his eyes. "But we're running late already."
"Daisy packed your bag for you."
I smiled, "Well, I'll just check to make sure she actually packed 'clothes'. Call her. Ask her to come over if she wants."
"I texted her a few minutes ago, she said she'll be over with lunch."
I hummed. I sighed, "Phil?"
"Yes?"
"I need new pills for my panic attacks."
"Ok. Do you want to go right now? Or.."
"I can wait. But I can't use my old pills with the baby, and I'm having too many attacks without them."
"How about... I'll call Dr. Banks and have Daisy pick them up."
"Ok."
In a while, Daisy arrived with a bottle of pills and a takeout bag.
"Order for a special Melinda May and Phil Coulson? A box of pills and the best takeout food in New York?"
I rolled my eyes, "Swapped up is the best. Can't prove me wrong."
Phil chuckled, "Can't argue with that."
Daisy handed me the box of pills and I nodded, "You guys go ahead, I'll just be back after taking the pills."
Phil nodded.
I walked over to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. I swallowed the hard pill along a gulp of water.
"Mom?" I looked back to see Daisy standing beside the door.
"You can ask, Daisy."
"Uhm, are you okay? And don't say you're fine because everyone knows you're not."
"I'm not fine, Daisy." I turned around to face her, "It's hard. Seeing you. It's hard knowing that this baby might not make it. I feel I'm stuck. Like I got nothing to live for. I'm not suicidal. Never was. I just know that I am not the person I was when I had you. I'm not the person I was 28 years ago, the bright, fearless, happy agent. I feel like crying but I got no tears left to cry. It hurts. And I can talk to Phil about it all, talk to you about it, but it never changes."
"Melinda," I turned around to face Phil.
"Don't. Daisy asked if I was okay. I told her the truth. I don't want pity. Not from you, not from anyone."
"I know." He nodded, "We know. I was just going to call you out to eat."
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, "Damn it." I looked up at them, "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."
"It's not your fault."
After that, we ate in silence. I listened to their conversation about the best restaurant in NYC, sometimes asking questions and supporting Phil.
We were running late after we finished later so we rushed to the airport and bid farewell to Daisy.
"We'll be back in a week. Don't burn down the base. Call us if there are any emergencies. We'll be back if there are."
"Yes, Ma'am." I rolled my eyes and walked over to hug her.
"Love you." I whispered in her ear and walked back to let Phil hug her.
"Take care, Daisy. Don't bring the base down." Phil Phil winked.
We walked into the airport and boarded the plane.
Andrew had gotten first class tickets, knowing I don't like to sit in economy.
I sat beside a Phil and cuddled closer to him. "It's weird not being the one to pilot the plane, you know?"
He snorted, "Well, enjoy it." I hummed and let sleep consume me.
I woke up to weight on my head, I turned my head slightly to see that Phil had fallen asleep too. I slowly sat up, trying not to wake Phil up. I failed.
"You're even louder when you're trying to be quite. It's like you were never the best spy SHIELD had ever seen."
"I still am."
"Right." I glared at him, "Just kidding."
My stomach rumbled and I sheepishly looked at Phil, "Did they serve dinner yet?''
He chuckled, "Yeah, they did." He pointed to the table infront of me, "That's yours."
"Thank you." I reached out and started eating, "Forgot how flight food tastes like. You know, being the only perso who had you as their personal cook."
"Haha. Funny. We'll be in Maui in 30 minutes."
"Yay."
"Also..." Phil sheepishly started, "I have a surprise for you."
"What?"
"I had Lola shipped to the house." I almost choked on my rice at that.
"You WHAT?"
"I have a plan. And it includes stars, take out food and Lola."
I smiled, "So, like a date?"
"Nah, not a date." He winked.
"Yeah, right."
"I'm not lying. I just want us to have some time to talk. And just talk." I raised an eyebrow, "What? We ARE NOT going to make out in Lola."
I scoffed, "Yeah, wouldn't want it to get dirty, would you?"
"No, I wouldn't."
"We're here."
"Right." I looked outside, "I'll just make sure we have everything."
"Okay."
We made sure we had everything and collected our bagage. We left the airport and looked for our reserved Uber.
A man stood beside a black Chevrolet, he held a board that said 'Mrs. May and Mr. Coulson'. I elbowed Phil and nodded towards the man. "Hello? I'm Melinda May. This is Phil Coulson."
"Oh! Nice to meet you two. I'm Swader. It's short for my actual name, Daniel Swayer."
"Makes sense."
"Right. You have a hotel reservation at Ritz-Carlton, dinner at The Mill House, and massages at the hotel."
"Massages!?" I whispered in Phil's ear.
He shrugged, "I added it. We're too stressed."
Swader looked at us and smiled, "Honeymoon?"
"Something like that." I nodded.
"Ah, you guys are lucky. You can afford this. I spent my honeymoon in a hotel with leaky roofs."
"It was a gift." I nodded, "From my ex-husband."
"Lucky you."
"Right. Should we get going?"
"Of course."
The drive to the hotel was silent, until it wasn't.
"So what do you guys do?"
"We're," I looked at Phil, "Ex-military."
"Awesome! Do you guys have any belts? I have one in TaeKwonDoe." He proudly said.
"I have one in Karate. Melinda has eight in total."
"Wow! And I thought I was impressive." I scoffed.
"You don't want that many belts. Trust me."
"Oh?"
I sighed, "A lot of times, you get hurt. Get shot. And sometimes, when you fail, you question your abilities."
He nodded, taking it all in. "Oh, look. We're here!"
Me and Phil shared a look and I shook my head. That's not a conversation we need to have.
"Let's go relax." I smiled. Hell yeah.