Losing, My Love
1948
The sound of his screams made (Y/N) sick to his stomach. He felt weak, powerless, and pissed, but he didn’t know why. He was held in place by several guards as they made him watch the man get electrocuted. He called out for him briefly before the doctor started to read from the book. ‘That damn book’ he thought as he watched the man’s body tense and his arms pull against the restraints with little effect. “Zhelaniye. Rzhavyye. Semnadtsat’. Rassvet. Pech’ . devyat’ . svoyego roda. Vozvrashcheniye na rodinu. Odin. gruzovoy vagon.” (Y/N) glared at him, wanting to snatch that stupid book out of his hands and rip it to shreads but he knew he could’nt. “Soldat?” the man looked up at him after the machine stopped and he was propped up slightly. He didn’t respond, only glare at him slightly. “What is your name, Soldat.” the man hesitated for a few moments before balling his fists up, the metal arm whirling slightly from use. “I.. Am Sergeant Barnes?” he said in almost a questioning tone and Zola’s smile dropped as soon as he spoke. ‘Oh, right. Barnes. He was in my platoon.’ (Y/N) recalled but felt as if something was missing from the little information he remembered. Something important that he had trouble placing. The man backhanded Barnes, causing (Y/N) to try and stand up but the guards shocked him, causing him to drop back to his knees, letting out a hiss. “Again!” he called out and the machine started up again, reclining him back before the pads went back to his head, causing him to immediately yell out in agony. (Y/N) felt pure rage building up in him as they electrocuted him into submission as he watched Barnes slightly thrash as much as he could on that stupid chair. Zola read loudly from the book again, (Y/N) only being able to hear Barnes whimper softly, “No stop, please.” before his screams got louder. (Y/N) could hear the buzzing as the power of the shocks increased and the air around him seemed to be electrified. When the man finished, he signaled for the machine to be shut off. Barnes panted softly as Zola walked up to him again. “Soldat.” Barnes looked up at him with a blank expression. “Soldat, are you ready to comply?” Barnes rolled his eyes weakly. “N..Never.” He managed to stutter out before he was punched in the stomach, causing him to cough harshly and gasp for air. “Again!” he yelled out and the machine whirled back to life before it shocked Barnes again. His throat raw from screaming, he pulled against the restraints and managed to get his metal arm out but stopped as soon as Zola finished the last line. The shocks stopped and Barnes panted slightly before Zola spoke, gaining his attention. “Soldat. Are you ready to comply?” he said with a tone of authority that sent a chill down (Y/N)’s spine. Barnes simply nodded stiffly. “Ready to comply.” he stated with a far away look. Zola grinned before writing in the book, scratching something out before writing just next to it. “Excellent, Marvelous. Bring him to his handler. The project shall continue as planned.” he said to one of the men before turning back to Bucky. “Behave yourself. You will listen to your handler or you will be punished. Understood?” Bucky simply nodded before he was allowed to get up and follow the guard out, not sparing (Y/N) a second glance. (Y/N) growled at Zola as he motioned for the guards holding him to put him in the chair. (Y/N) fought it briefly before he felt dread settle in his chest that warned him not to. He suddenly went still as the restraints were placed on him as Zola smirked down at him. He grabbed his face, squeezing tightly as he angled (Y/N)’s face towards his own. “All dogs can be trained. Some just take longer to learn and listen to their masters.” he stated before pushing his face back, causing a twinge in his neck before the rubber guard was shoved into his mouth, Zola patting his cheek roughly. “Proceed!” he called out and the machine whirled to life. His breathing picked up slightly before he let out a pained scream as he was shocked. As Zola spoke from his book, he felt the will to fight dissipate. He still yelled out in pain but that was all that occupied his mind at that moment. Pain and obedience. He heaved, pushing through the pain as he always had in the past. When the machine stopped and arms that held the electrodes moved away, he looked up at Zola with disdain but underneath that his gaze was lifeless and cold. “Kapitän, Ready to comply?” he said with excitement in his voice. “Ready to comply.” the words tumbled out before he could stop them. It was like he was trapped behind a wall of fog, like someone was pulling the strings and it wasn't him. He felt the control of his own body slip from him when he stood up upon Zola’s orders. “Any dog can be trained.” he heard him mumble before scribbling in his book. “You are to follow him to your handler. Behave and follow their orders. Do you understand?” he said, causing (Y/N) to nod, following the man that had been stationed by the door. He hardly glanced at his surroundings as they walked through the halls. He was led to an isolated room with a single bed in it. “Lie down.” he commanded and (Y/N) followed through. He lied down on the bed and watched the man leave. A few moments later a different man came in and he knew right away that this man was who his handler was supposed to be. He walked into his room with confidence and a purpose before he took the restraints and strapped him to the bed. He pulled a vial from his pocket and produced a clean needle. He extracted what (Y/N) would assume the necessary amount to be before he prepared to inject him with it. “Now this.. Will hurt a lot.” he said with an almost sick sense of glee in his voice. (Y/N) gave him a slightly questioning look before he stabbed him with the needle and left the room quickly, shutting and locking the door behind him. Moments after the door was closed he started to feel like every cell in his body was being ripped apart. He gripped the sheets below him as he strained against the straps holding him down. He felt tears well up in his eyes as his head started to feel like it was splitting open. He struggled to hold in the screams before he found it was all he could do. He dug his nails into his palms, scratching them up to the point that they were bleeding. He needed anything that could even start to provide him a distraction from the searing pain he felt. If you had asked him, he would have told you that he felt as if the sun itself was boiling him alive from the inside out. If hell was real, he was sure that he found it. The pain went on for so long, days it seemed, he nearly forgot that the screams he was listening to were his own. Eventually when the pain slowed down to a crawl, he panted and pressed himself back into the mattress trying to find any type of comfort he could as he was getting uncomfortable bathing in his own sweat. Not long after the pain subsided to a dull ache, his handler came in with a satisfied look before he undid the straps and ripped him from his bed. Not having much energy, he let him drag him a few doors down. He was dropped in the center of the room before he was hosed down with ice cold water. He didn't like it but he welcomed the cold for the moment as it served as a solace from the heat that now radiated from his body. He shivered slightly when they pulled him up, bringing him to yet another room. He was clothed in a simple tee shirt and pants and was told to wait. Not long after that, a man was brought in and given the same clothes. He stood next to him as doctors were brought in and examined the two of them. The man caught his eye briefly but he stared straight ahead and let the doctor examine him. They spoke to each other in German as they took notes. The handlers gave each other a look before they stood by their respective men. They attached shock collars and adjusted it so it was just snug enough but didn’t restrict their airways. (Y/N) let out a deep breath when they stepped away and he stood at attention and waited for his orders. Zola walked in with several books, looking over the two with an appraising eye. He looked at (Y/N) with slight disdain before he placed the books down on the table that stood in the middle of the room. “Your training begins now. You will not only be expected to be physically perfect, but intellectually as well. My linguists will teach you every language you could possibly have a use for and my men will test your physical capabilities and train you until you are nothing less than perfect. When you learn Russian and German completely, those will be the only two languages you will be allowed to use when any of us address you. Kapitän, Soldat, is that understood.” He said as he held his hands behind his back. They both nodded at his words and went up to the table to begin their task. Zola hummed softly and checked his watch before leaving the two with their handlers to fetch the teachers for them.
After that day, it went from learning languages and strategies to training. They were both put under every type of weapon training and hand to hand combat. Eventually after they beat every guard they could, their handlers saw it fit to fight against each other and see which would come out on top. Zola caught wind of this and made his way to the training area. He stood with his hands behind his back as he approached them. The guards were watching with sick fascination as the two circled each other in the center. Bucky and (Y/N) analyzed each other's movements before suddenly springing into action. No weapons were allowed for obvious reasons but it wasn't needed anyway at this point. If they really wanted to, they could tear the other apart with their bare hands and brute strength alone. He watched as they went after each other, grappling for a moment before they threw punches the other easily dodged. They fought before (Y/N) was suddenly pinned to the floor, Bucky’s metal arm putting him in a headlock. (Y/N) eventually tapped out when he knew he couldn’t win. He let Bucky help him up and he dusted himself off a bit. Zola hummed softly before he went over to the handlers. “Take them to get prepped after their training is completed. Separately. Have them ready for their mission. I will not let this be a failure.” he hissed out at them and they nodded obediently. About an hour later their training time came to a close and they were ushered off, separately, as they were ordered to.
Afterwards, they were escorted to Zola’s office. “Ah, Soldat, Kapitän. I have a mission for you two. You two will be taking care of a few people who prove.. harmful to our organization. Dispose of them and bring me the woman. Do not fail me.” He said before handing them the files he had on the individuals. Bucky looked it over first and nodded before handing it to (Y/N). His eyes scanned the information, committing it to memory. He handed the file back to him with a curt nod before returning to attention. Zola looked them over for a moment before he waved his hand. “Dismissed.” They were led out of the room by their handlers and brought to the jet they would be taking. They looked at each other for a brief moment before the handlers started to adjust their shock devices, causing (Y/N) to clench his jaw a bit as they shocked him at various levels. Bucky glanced over at him and shifted just a bit but the handlers missed his slight movements. It didn’t take long to reach their target. The handlers stood in front of them, adorning their own weapons, arms crossed over their chests. “This is a simple mission. With your skill sets, the two of you shouldn't take long. A quick in and out. You have three days, meet at the extraction point for us. If you don’t, well, you’ll give us a reason to have some fun.” (Y/N)’s handler said to them with a growing smirk. They simply stared ahead of them, causing him to huff. “Get to it then Soldat, Kapitän. We’ll be watching.” They nodded and stood up as their watchers moved aside. (Y/N) was the first to step onto the snowy terrain, internally groaning at the cold once more before Bucky stood beside him. They nodded at each other before they made their way to the town that was about ten miles away. They didn’t want to be caught so it was their best interest to be as far away as possible. When they finally arrived, they snuck behind buildings to avoid prying eyes before they settled on an abandoned one to stake out in. Bucky took his sniper spot by the window and (Y/N) took his position near him at his own advantage point. “When do you think he’ll show up?” (Y/N) asked with a gruff but slightly accented voice. Bucky glanced at him as he sat, looking out the window again. “Don’t ruin this mission by being impatient. If you must, you can go back and accept the punishment for not being able to complete a simple task, Kapitän.” He thought for a moment before a slight headache approached. “No, I’m with you till the end of the line, Soldat.” Bucky hummed softly in response. (Y/N) leaned against a broken table and got comfortable. “I can take the first watch you know.” Bucky simply shook his head. “No. Sleep if you must but I don't need it.” He said in a tone that suggested the end of discussing it but (Y/N) pulled him away from the window, Bucky giving him a cold glare that (Y/N) returned as he took Bucky's position. “Sleep. I’m taking first watch.” (Y/N) said with a tone that made Bucky pause for a second before shaking it off. He grumbled slightly before getting into a somewhat comfortable position, crossing his arms over his chest. He huffed before closing his eyes but still keeping an ear out for anything odd while (Y/N) was positioned by the window, looking out over their surroundings and occasionally peering into the sniper scope even though he didn't need to. It felt necessary to do, like muscle memory. When dawn approached, Bucky shifted a bit as he woke up and looked over to (Y/N) to realize that he never once left the position he took before he went to sleep. (Y/N)’s gaze shifted to him briefly as he stood next to him. “Sleep, Kapitän.” Bucky said softly in a rough voice before he gently pulled (Y/N) to his feet. He huffed as he was pushed towards the spot that Bucky warmed up. “Whatever you say, Soldat.” he gave (Y/N) a blank look as he watched him walk over to the spot and get comfortable, crossing his arms over his chest, a hand resting just above a knife he had holstered on his side. Bucky shook his head slightly before returning to his post, watching for movement. (Y/N) didn’t sleep for long, possibly a few hours at most and decided to take his position opposite of Bucky. They spent a few hours at the window before (Y/N)’s target was spotted. He shifted to his feet as he watched what building he went into. “Soldat, contact me if you run into any problems. Target has been acquired.” he mumbled before he left the building, not hearing Bucky sigh at him as he kept watch. (Y/N) slunk out of the building as he made his way to where his target was. With the sun just starting to rise, he used the shadows to his advantage, staying out of sight as he made his way into the building. He quietly popped the lock on the back door, slipping into the house and listening to his surroundings. He heard movement from the east side of the building and started to make his way towards it as he practically glided across the floor when the slight crackle of his earpiece drew his attention away from his target. “Kapitän, in coming from the south side. The targets are congregating there. I’m on my way.” Bucky said in a low calm voice that held slight irritation. He didn't bother responding to him as he found a place he could hide and watch as Bucky made his way over. He heard the loud pounding of several pairs of boots make their way towards his hiding spot. He held his breath for a moment as he readied himself, quietly clicking the safety off his gun as he held it, ready to shoot at a moment's notice. He waited as the small group walked past him, heading into a room where he believed his initial target to be. He slowly moved closer to them so he could hear them talk. “How do you know that this plan will work? Hydra is a force to be reckoned with and as much as I believe in our views on this matter, I cannot risk my life over this.” He heard his target complain in German. His fingers twitched around his gun, itching to pull the trigger. “This is imprisonment we’re talking about. We have no idea how many people they’re experimenting on.” The lady said in French. He tilted his head a bit, understanding that they believed that someone was watching them, hence the back and forth switching between languages. “That aside, the weapons they’ve manufactured are beyond anything anyone has ever seen. If we can get in, liberate the people they have imprisoned and steal any blueprints regarding their weapons then we are just that much closer to taking care of them once and for all. Taking care of every super power out there right now that is mistreating people.” The other man said in Russian, his voice a bit gravely. His attention was drawn to Bucky who stopped right next to him. He gave him a brief look before nodding. (Y/N) let the ghost of a smirk appear before it left as quick as it came. They both rushed the room, one kicking the door off its hinges, startling the people for a moment before their guards jumped into action. They worked together like a well oiled machine, easily taking down the people who stood in their way. Bucky lunged at his initial target while (Y/N) went after his. He made quick work of him, pulling his knife out of the strap and sliced his throat open. He dodged a punch before watching Bucky slam his fist into the guy’s face, knocking him out. They shared a look before going after the lady that escaped with two guards. They rushed out of the house, following them through the streets. Bucky took the left and (Y/N) went right, hoping to catch them at a crossroads of sorts. When (Y/N) rounded the corner, he saw Bucky in a scuffle with the two guards while the woman started to run away. He felt himself hesitate for a moment before going after the guards that were attacking Bucky. He managed to get one of them away from him long enough to allow Bucky the chance to let off a few shots, killing the men efficiently. Bucky shook his head at (Y/N) before taking off after the woman. (Y/N) followed behind with a slight huff. When they were within distance, (Y/N) shot her twice in the back of her legs causing her to drop with a yell. Bucky got to her first and grabbed her by the back of her neck, lifting her up. “Hydra wants us to bring you in. Consider yourself lucky, Samandra.” (Y/N) stated in French and Bucky cut her air off with a small grunt. When she passed out, (Y/N) picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. “We’re going to have to take care of the bodies, Soldat.” (Y/N) said as he started to carry her back to their hideout. Bucky just nodded as he walked next to him. “Obviously, Kapitän. I’ll take care of it, get the woman to the extraction point and I will meet you there.” (Y/N) gave him a slight glare that lasted a moment before he nodded stiffly. “Of course. See you then, Soldat.” He said before he watched Bucky turn and started walking towards their hideout. (Y/N) shifted the weight on his shoulder and picked up his pace slightly. After he gathered their necessary items from their hideout, he headed to the extraction point. He dropped her ungracefully onto the ground before sitting on a tree stump, watching her wiggle around in her restraints. “You don't have to do this!” she said in French, trying to turn so she could look at him. He simply raised an eyebrow before he kicked her back down, causing her to wince. “Have you no.. sympathy? No sense of right or wrong? Your ‘masters’ are killing people! And they have you two, their pets, do their bidding for them! You don't have to do this, please let me go.” she tried to plead but it fell on deaf ears as he stared at her, his elbows resting on his knees while casually flipping his knife. “We just.. We just wanted to help those people. Are you okay with the blood of innocent children, people, on your hands? Our blood on your hands?” She said as her voice cracked. His ears perked up when he heard the very faint sound of leaves crunching beneath someone's feet. “You haven’t shut her up yet for what reasons?” Bucky asked in Russian. (Y/N) smirked slightly and put his knife away. “She’s.. Entertaining. Needed something to preoccupy me while I waited for you to be finished.” Bucky kept his stare for a moment before he tilted his head slightly. (Y/N) sighed softly before he got up and walked over to her. He grabbed her by her hair and yanked her up, causing her to let out a pained whimper. “Are you going to kill me?” (Y/N) moved his face a bit closer to hers, tightening his grip a bit. “Hail Hydra.” He whispered into her ear before knocking her out again. He picked her up and turned to Bucky, gesturing to her slightly. Bucky shook his head at him and tightened the straps on his pants so the weapons didn’t fall out. Soon enough their handlers arrived, dropping down the ladder out of the helicopter. Bucky gestured for him to get on first and he went up after him. When they arrived back at base, their joint handler (Y/N) thought, was pleased to see them back and a day earlier than he expected. He motioned for the handlers to bring the woman to one of the rooms before he turned his attention to the boys. “Kapitän, Soldat. You both did well. Go to visit the doctors for a moment.” They nodded and did as they were told and started to make their way to the bottom level. “Why didn’t you go after the woman?” (Y/N) paused slightly as he looked over at him. The stairs groaned slightly as they walked down. “You were outnumbered.” he said as if it was obvious. Bucky tilted his head a bit as they continued down the stairs. “I could have handled them by myself.” (Y/N) simply shrugged slightly. “It.. was something I needed to do. Besides. We completed our mission.” Bucky didn’t look too convinced but shook it off. When they headed into the medical area, the doctors dragged them off to two separate tables and examined them. When it was over, they were corralled into their cryo chambers. (Y/N) made eye contact with him as they shut their doors and began the freezing process. He put his hand against the front of his chamber before he felt the chilling air hit him first then he felt his heart rate begin to slow as the ice formed on the glass, obstructing his view.