Only a few years past, Thor would have never imagined that there would be this much paperwork to being King. Or rather he did, in an abstract sort of way, but had imagined that someone else would do it for him; the council, or his brother perhaps. Not that Loki would much appreciate being relegated to a glorified secretary for Thor’s sake.
Thor suppressed a fond smile at the thought of Loki’s livid expression, should Thor ever suggest anything even remotely similar to that. Though his mirth was tempered by sorrow. He used to be so vain... he only wished he didn’t have to lose so much in order to learn.
And Loki... they’ve wounded each other terribly in the past. Thor honestly did not expect him to stay. And yet, against all odds, Loki did not only stay, but he actively helped. He was part of Thor’s council, taking part competently in both the mundane and the whimsical of governance. And Thor was grateful. Things were finally looking up. For whatever remained of Asgard, but for the both of them too.
A sharp knock interrupted Thor’s thoughts. “Come in,” he said, glad for an excuse to put his papers aside for a while.
The door slid open. Valkyrie stood on the other side, arms folded just under her chest. Something about her posture, mayhap the way her fingers tapped against skin, made her seem unaccountably nervous.
That was unusual. Val, as they had taken to calling her, was hardly ever anxious about anything. Or at the very least, she was great at not showing it.
Concern spiked through Thor, even as he did his best to conceal it. “Val! How did the negotiations on Shada’ar go? I trust nothing too disastrous occurred.”
Val rolled her eyes, before striding to the makeshift desk and putting her hands on it. The desk creaked under the added weight. “The negotiations went well, Your Majesty.” The tone of the last two words was slightly sarcastic, as per usual. It reassured Thor.
“However you should probably talk to Loki.”
Thor frowned. He did not like the sound of it. “Why?”
She bit her lip. “The people on Shada’ar did not seem to like your brother overmuch. And not for the regular reasons either.”
Thor glared at her.
“Don’t blame me, Your Majesty, you know how he can be. Although I will admit he was on his best behaviour.”
“Then what was the matter?” Thor asked.
“Their spiritual leader said something about him wearing a second skin. Loki seemed to take it very personally,” she shrugged.
Thor felt his blood ran cold. He had almost forgotten about that.
“I didn’t press him on it, even though he owes me a big time. I basically carried the negotiations in his stead, while he was busy glaring and sulking,” she continued.
Thor did not know what to think on it. Loki and he had never talked about the past. To be honest, he had thought they were past it. That everything was going to be alright. But was it?
Without thinking much about it, Thor was already on his feet. “Do you know where he is?” he asked her.
“Of course not, Your Majesty. If it has escaped your notice, we are not exactly friends. And he did look as if he would stab me were I to ask any questions,” Val responded.
Thor nodded and turned to leave. He ought not to be very worried. Loki and Val barely got along at the best of days.
“You’re welcome, Your Majesty,” Val shouted from behind.
He turned his head to give her a most charming smile. “Thank you,” before continuing on his way.
If Loki truly did not want to be found, he could make it nigh impossible. Therefore it was a surprise when Thor found him in the first place he thought to look. Loki’s door opened with a gentle woosh. The bedroom was small and dark, but Thor could clearly make out the pristinely made cot. The bathroom door was open just a crack, a ray of light spilling from it.
“Loki?” Thor asked, hesitantly inching towards the bathroom’s door, before pulling it open.
Thor gaped. Loki was all pale blue, standing in front of the mirror, grasping the sink tightly with one hand, while tracing something on his face with the other, entranced. But not completely so, as he turned to face Thor, eyes red and wrong, white lines fanning out on his hideous azure skin. Thor pushed away his instinctive disgust at the sight he offered; it was unfair, both to Loki and the Jotnar.
Loki’s head cocked as Thor, with great effort, closed his mouth. “It is different, isn’t it?” Loki remarked breezily.
“What is different?” Thor already had the sense that navigating this conversation would be not unlike treading through a treacherous bog, unable to tell whether your foot will meet solid ground or water.
“Seeing it, rather than simply saying it, or even imagining it.”
“Have you ever worn this face before?” Thor asked cautiously.
“Of course I have, you boar!” Thor kept his face impassive at his brother’s outburst. “But, it is the first time I have mustered the courage to actually see it,” Loki finished quietly, and Thor would have thought him relatively calm, if not for the stiffness of his shoulders and the slight trembling of his limbs.
“Brother,” Thor said, because he felt it was important to address Loki in that way, “you have to know that it doesn’t change anything. Not the fact that I love you, and certainly not who you are.”
Loki made a small bitter sound. “That’s easy for you to say.”
“Maybe,” Thor conceded. “And I don’t begrudge you your grievances.”
“The phrase ‘imagined slights’ would imply otherwise.”
“You really don’t forget anything,” Thor huffed. “I admit that you may have had some legitimate,” he paused, looking for a delicate way to put it to words, “reasons to think that you were unloved. I do not consider it true, but no one is blameless in this. Not Father, not Mother, not I and not you. But we cannot change the past. We can only recognise our faults and move forward.”
Loki stared at him, eyes a bit too wide. Surprised, no doubt by my concession. He was not as difficult to read as used to be. Or maybe Thor had become better at it. Or perhaps Loki was somewhat less guarded. That last possibility was heart-warming.
“So you do not find the sight of this form appalling?” His tone was too light again, but there was an undercurrent of insecurity in it.
Thor opted for honesty. “It is a bit... unusual. But if you wished to spend more time in it, I am certain I would get used to it.”
Loki gave a slightly hysterical chuckle at that. “No need to pressure yourself. I’d rather not spend much time in this form either.”
“I mean it. And should you change your mind-”
“Yes, I am free to revert to my true form.” Thor grimaced and Loki averted his gaze, “I know you did not mean it that way,” he hastened to add.
Thor hesitantly put his hands on Loki’s shoulders. Even with his leathers in between, Loki was cold to the touch.
“It does not change who you are,” Thor said, for that was worth repeating.
Loki nodded stiffly. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again they were a familiar green. The transformation lasted for a mere moment. White skin spread to his face and then to his body. His shoulders warmed beneath Thor’s hands. The instant it was safe to do so, Thor wrapped his arms around him.
For a moment all was quiet. And then Loki hugged back.