Decisions
James wasn’t keen on post race conferences. He always got bored by the same questions paraphrased by different interviewers. Also, this time he was simply exhausted. It was almost midnight when they had finished the race. Even now, in the middle of the night the air was humid in Singapore. James entered the room where he and the others who ended up on the podium were about to give the last interview. Before that they had an interview right after finishing and also after the podium celebration. The last interview was different as it was taking place inside some building that had air conditioning.
Media mainly focused on Evan Rosier who had his first Formula 1 podium ever. James didn’t mind being left out because after the race the only thing he thought about was Sirius’s health. He wanted to know what he was going through while James raced. He did not understand why Lily hadn’t told him anything yet. James only knew that Sirius couldn’t leave the car on his own. And that’s what caused him most of his bad thoughts.
He came around to reality, when he heard the calm voice of Pandora Lovegood. She was the F1TV interviewer. James absolutely enjoyed talking with her. She had the best takes, best fashion taste and everyone liked her. She wasn’t like the rest of the media who were sometimes not so passionate about the sport. She was like a little fan living her dream.
“So, James, could you tell us about the current situation in the standings for the World Championship?”, she asked.
While James was trying to figure out the right answer, Remus Lupin was waiting for the lift in one of the Singapore hospitals. It turned out that FIA had an agreement with hospitals near the circuits hosting the Grand Prixs. Remus wasn’t so sure about getting there. He hated hospitals but he had to know if Sirius was alright. He told Lily he could go when she told everyone that someone would have to do it. The Ferrari’s CEO also promised she would be there too, but probably in the morning. She had to speak with Sirius about the current strategy for the rest of the season. The team was most likely to hire their reserve driver as a full-time driver. And this driver was Regulus Black, Sirius’s younger brother.
Sirius had a very weird relationship with his brother so Remus came in after the race just to avoid the drama. It wasn’t that they hated each other but Regulus was friends with Red Bull’s drivers and Sirius didn’t like them.
Remus pressed the button as the lift finally came. He didn’t like small spaces, but Sirius was hospitalised on the last floor and Remus was too tired to try to get there by stairs. Why did every building in this city have to be so high?
Sirius has already had an operation. Remus wasn’t sure if he would be awake, but he still was there. He felt the pain in Sirius’s voice as he talked to him through the team radio.
When Remus left the elevator, he saw a few guards in the corridor. He knew they would be there. You can’t just leave the superstar on his own in a hospital. They showed him where Sirius's room was and left him there.
Sirius was breathing through some pipe and there was this whole machinery next to his bed showing different things. Remus could understand all the charts and diagrams Ferrari provided him, but he couldn’t tell which of the lines on a screen is actually a heartbeat. Sirius was asleep. His skin was glowing even in a dimmed room. Maybe it was because of sweat. Sirius didn’t like when it was hot and humid, and Singapore was all about that. Remus knew that. He started looking for a remote to control the air conditioner. Then he saw a little screen on the wall and changed the temperature. Now the thermostat showed twenty two Celcius degrees, just as Sirius liked best.
Remus wanted to talk to him, but he did not know if Sirius could hear him. This seemed so silly to him. He had never been in a situation like this before. He didn’t know exactly what he was supposed to do.
“I don’t know if you notice this, but I wanted to make sure you’re okay”, Remus started after he had sat on the edge of Sirius’s bed. “I brought you some chocolate”.
He reached into his pocket and took the chocolate. It was a little melted and had a different shape than it was supposed to have. Well, at least he made a small gesture. When Sirius wakes up, he will have an opportunity to feel better for a while in all this shitty situation. Remus thought chocolate is an answer to everything. Maybe that’s why his blood sugar level mildly increased.
“They didn’t have any Milka in that shop, so you have some local one”, he explained as if Sirius was paying attention. He put the chocolate on a bed desk and left.
He could have stayed longer. The reason he didn’t was that he just hated looking at Sirius in that state. He tried not to think about him a lot. It was Lily’s turn now to worry about Sirius and who will replace him.
The Ferrari’s CEO was still sitting in the paddock. Everyone was leaving, but she wanted to have some space. She knew coming back to the hotel would make her fall asleep as soon as she entered the room. She just couldn’t do this now.
As a team principal, Lily Evans had to stay the cold headed one. She had to make sure everything was going according to plan and now… there was no plan.
She actually had few options and a little time. Evans was supposed to make an official statement about Sirius’s situation as soon as possible, but the doctors didn’t want to talk with her through phone.
The most possible thing was that Sirius Black was out of racing for some time. How long? No one could tell by now. The easiest way was to get Regulus Black. He was a Formula Two driver and Ferrari’s reserve driver. It was the chance for him to gain some useful experience. But would he be reliable?
Lily didn’t say it out loud, but she kind of wanted to get Marlene McKinnon to the team. Alfa Romeo was like a sister to Ferrari, so it wouldn’t be much of a problem. The thing is… Marlene was competitive. On the one hand that was great, but on the other hand it could cause a lot of trouble. Especially for James.
He wasn’t a bad driver, but he didn’t take pressure too well. He improved this season, but last year he was fighting more with himself.
Lily decided to make a pros and cons list in her notes app. She always did that when it came to making big decisions. While she was writing cons about James, someone knocked the door.
“Get in”, she shouted.
The door opened and it was James. Of course he walked in right when she was going to write every little thing about him that pissed her off. She put the phone on a desk and watched as James was taking a seat.
“You wanted to see me”, he said. “Sorry it took me that long, those interviews are the worst”.
“Tomorrow we will go to the hospital and see Sirius”, she started.
“How is he?”, he asked. His face became more real now. He looked like a ghost when he entered.
“His condition is stabilising. Before we go, I’d like to ask you something”.
“Go ahead”, he yawned.
“Do you have any suggestions on who we should take as our replacement?” Lily was hoping for a real piece of advice. She wanted to let James know that his voice mattered. Or maybe she was just hoping for someone to tell her if Marlene was a good or a bad idea.
“Well, I thought Sirius would come back to the U.S. I mean we have a two week break.”
He was so unaware of everything, but Lily shouldn’t have blamed him. He was doing his job all the time and she was trying to make up her mind in all that mess.
“We don’t think so. And nor do doctors.”
“Oh”, James sighed. He focused his sight on the floor for a while. “Then, I guess, it’s up to you”.
Lily rolled her eyes.
“I just want you to know that your opinion is important to me.”
“Okay, so what are the options?”, James asked. He leaned forward.
“Well, there is Regulus, of course”, she started. “But we can also ask Alfa Romeo to lend us one of their drivers.”
“Pettigrew?”
“No, I meant Marlene”, she cleared. “She is a great driver and I need someone who is reliable.”
“Well, I think you should ask Sirius what he thinks”, James shrugged. “Despite everything, he is the one to know who will be a good replacement”.
Lily was silent for a few seconds. Maybe that was the best option. However, she needed a plan just in case Sirius was still unconscious.
“Thank you for your opinion, James. You can go”, she said and yawned. At this moment she finally realised how tired she was. “I will pick you up tomorrow when we will go to the hospital.”
“Copy, Evans”, James responded as he stood up and politely left the room.
The next morning was very disorganised. Lily couldn’t get out of bed for thirty minutes and when she did, her head hurt from all the information her brain tried to process. James was sleeping so hard that none of his alarms woke him up. They were supposed to get to the hospital by nine in the morning. They made it with an hour delay. James didn’t eat breakfast so he was being annoying all the way. Lily had to stop in a convenience store in order to buy him some oat bars. When they finally got to the right floor in the hospital, they met Remus. He was about to leave.
“He’s awake”, Lupin said cheerfully as they approached him. “But doctors say he has to stay for a few days just to make sure he’d be alright.”
“Thanks for all the information, Remus”, Lily replied. “I’ll have to talk with them on my own too. By the way, do you know if someone from his family contacted him?”
“Not sure about that. Regulus texted me, but I didn’t give him a proper reply”, Remus scratched his neck.
“This is weird. Why didn’t he text me?”, Lily began to wonder.
“Maybe because he knows you don’t want him as a driver”, James suggested. Remus’s eyes went wide.
“Then who do you want to hire?”
“This is not a place for a conversation like this. Now if you excuse me, I need to see my driver.”
She left them and went straight to Sirius’s room. James was so confused. He was supposed to be here with Lily, but now she just went there without him? Remus decided to leave a few minutes after a quick small talk with James about yesterday’s race. Potter didn’t know what he should do now. He decided to wait.
Lily spent almost fifteen minutes talking to Sirius. James couldn’t hear anything through the walls. He was so bored by now and still hungry. He wanted to get proper food, but he didn’t want to get lost in the hospital. Finally Lily came back and told him he could go in. She did not come after him.
“Hiya, Sirius”, he grinned as he entered the room. “Oh my god, what is that?”
Sirius’s legs were not covered with a blanket. James saw the cast he had on both of his legs. You could only see his toes. Everything was white due to gauze bandages.
“Don’t even get me started”, Sirius replied.
“How are you? Is there anything I could do?”, James sat on the side of the bed.
Sirius did not reply fast. He looked so exhausted. He had an intravenous therapy connected to his arm and it bound his movements. He could just lay down. James would hate every second of not being able to move freely. He thought Sirius probably hated it too.
“I want to go racing”, Sirius said. “If you have some magic power that could heal me, you can cast a spell and make me go racing in the U.S”.
“I wish I could. We would make such a great show there”.
“Yeah, we could dress like cowboys or something like that. I mean you still can”.
“Sure, but it’s not the same vibe if you’re not there”, James sighed.
“You’ll have another Black. Same surname, different name. Not a huge change”.
“Wait, will Regulus race?”
After a conversation with Lily yesterday, James was confused. He thought she would try to get Marlene. He saw a hope in her eyes when she talked about McKinnon.
“Of course he will. Lily told me she would call him even before you leave for Italy.”, Sirius explained. “I must stay here for three days I guess.”
“That’s shit”.
“Yeah, it’s fucked up. I hate it here.”
They talked for some more time and then James had to leave. He did not want to though. He wanted to stay, to be supportive for Sirius, to accompany him. The only thing Sirius could do now was waiting, playing games on his phone or watching Instastories. He was an Instagram king, but he was getting bored when he was endlessly scrolling.
The whole Ferrari crew left for Maranello. They had some meetings planned. Lily had to get all the details about hiring Regulus and make it official. The only person who didn’t leave Singapore, besides Sirius, was Remus. He decided to stay and accompany his driver. He didn’t have to be in Italy for the whole time. He knew Regulus and he was able to imagine what working with him would be like.
Remus wanted to extend his reservation in the hotel the whole team stayed in. Unfortunately, the exact room he was temporarily living in was booked for the next few days. He even wanted to pay more for staying in the same place, but it wasn’t possible. The receptionist offered him a different room with a bigger bed. It was a bit more expensive but he took it.
He spent most of his days with Sirius in the hospital. They were both bored with the city they could not discover in the proper way. They both wanted to go to some party, get drunk for once and live a life without pressure just for one night. It was impossible, because Sirius could only move on a wheelchair and his legs had to be straightened all the time.
It was almost ten and it was so dark outside. Remus wanted to leave to go back to the hotel. He was about to check out before eleven in the morning and his luggage was all over the place.
“Please, don’t go”, Sirius begged. “I am really bored without you”.
“I wish I could stay, but I’m sure the time for the visits ended like four hours ago”, Remus stood up.
“No one will be mad about that!”, Sirius claimed and took Remus’s hand. “Please.”
Remus hesitated for a while.
“Fine”, he sat back on the bed. “But I’ll leave in like an hour”.
“Copy”, Sirius smiled and began to tell him a story that Remus probably has heard four times already.
It didn’t matter. What mattered was that every time Sirius had said anything, Remus felt like this was their first deeper conversation. And he loved that feeling.