Chapter 6
Natasha and Melina train in the garage on weekends while Yelena sleeps in or watches cartoons. They do ballet and Melina has Natasha disassemble and reassemble weapons until she knows them like the back of her hand.
Natasha holds no jealousy for the naivety and innocence that her sister holds.
She doesn’t realize that Yelena has some inkling of what they do in their garage until she catches Yelena in the bathroom, Melina’s good bath towels stained red as Yelena tries to stop the flow of blood that comes from a neat slice in her hand.
Blood on Yelena is something Natasha never wants to see. It drips from her baby sister’s hand and onto her shirt and the floor.
“What happened?” Natasha demands, rushing forward to grab Yelena’s hand and hold it over the sink to stop the mess from getting on the floor.
“I wanted to be like you and mama,” Yelena replies softly and Natasha stares down at the slice before looking at Yelena.
“Where’s the knife?” She demands, sighing when tears well up in Yelena’s eyes.
“I put it under my bed. Please don’t tell mama, she’s gonna be really mad,” Yelena reaches out her uninjured hand to grab Natasha’s shirt. “Keep it a secret.”
Natasha has taken the fall and asked Yelena to keep many secrets over the years. Yelena keeps each and every secret Natasha asks her to, never once breathing a word to either Melina or Alexei, even when Alexei tempted her with ice cream once.
Except, this is one secret Natasha cannot keep. “We can’t keep this a secret, Lena.”
“Yes, we can!” Yelena’s still dripping blood into the sink but she has a brave face on. “If you tell then I’ll tell about all the secrets you made me keep and they’ll punish you for a bajillion years.”
Natasha shakes her head. “Tell them then. You’re hurt, Lena and I can’t fix this by myself. You know you’re not supposed to touch the knives.”
“I wanted to throw them like you do!” A tear finally rolls down Yelena’s cheek. “I wanted to be like you!”
“You don’t want to be like me!” Natasha snaps at Yelena and regrets it instantly when the blonde let out a sharp sob, curling in on herself as red drips in a steady staccato down the drain. “I’m getting mama.”
“No!” Yelena howls out, gripping onto Natasha’s shirt.
Natasha doesn’t think of the repercussions of raising her voice as she starts to call out for Melina.
She only has to call once, the bathroom door swinging open moments later. Natasha can see the way Melina froze for just a moment at the sight of the blood before she sweeps into the bathroom.
As Melina sets Yelena on the bathroom counter and starts to patch up Yelena’s hand, she lectures her about weapons and how they’re dangerous.
Natasha never once for a moment thought about how Melina could have easily hurt Yelena. She could have lost her temper. She could have poured the whole bottle of rubbing alcohol over Yelena’s wound or made her patch herself up.
It takes Natasha a moment to realize the amount of trust she had put in Melina to call out for her. To realize that Yelena was safe with Melina, even though she’d broken a rule.
Yelena doesn’t speak to Natasha for the rest of the night and follows through on her threat of blabbing about their secrets.
At least she does about the ones she can remember and apparently they weren’t as secretive as they could have been in a house of spies because Melina sends Yelena a look. “I’m your mama, Yelena. I already know about that.”
Yelena’s sent to the corner. She’s been punished a few times, mainly when she was caught in the act and no matter what Natasha did, she could not take the fall, shift the blame, or distract them by acting out.
That night, Yelena climbs into her own bed and curls up under the covers with a huff. Natasha’s bed feels oddly empty and she realizes that Yelena usually bothered Natasha for another story after Alexei finished reading them a book. Natasha would act all annoyed when Yelena would beg and plead but she liked the way Yelena settled in her lap and wiggled when she got excited as Natasha read.
Natasha’s shifting to go to sleep when she hears a tiny sniffle come from Yelena’s bed. She thinks she’s hearing things at first but pushes that thought away, sitting up and listening closely.
Sure enough, another sniffle comes from under the blankets and Natasha slides out of bed, padding across the room and reaching out to hesitantly set a hand onto the lump in the blankets. “Lena?”
“Go away, I hate you!” Yelena snaps from under the covers and Natasha feels like she was dumped in a bucket of ice water.
“I’m not sorry for what I did,” Natasha said and Yelena shoves the covers away to look up at her, her face red and splotchy.
“Why do you get to have secrets and I don’t?” She demanded, folding her arms.
Natasha glances away, unsure of how to tell Yelena why she did what she did. “Because… because I was scared.”
The anger is quick to leave Yelena, replaced with disbelief. “You never get scared.” Yelena said.
“Of course I do. All the time,” Natasha confessed, clasping her hands behind her back. “I get scared that you’re gonna get hurt.”
Yelena wrinkles her nose, wiping her face on the sleeve of her nightgown. “You don’t act scared.”
“I pretend. I’m really good at pretending,” Natasha shakes her head. “I pretend I’m not scared but I am. I worry that something is gonna hurt you.”
Natasha worries about the day that they’ll be sent back to the Red Room. She worries about how they’ll break Yelena.
Her sweet baby sister who cried when Natasha stepped on ants and still drinks cran-grape juice in the living room even though she spills everything.
“Don’t be silly, Nattie. Nothing is gonna hurt me,” Yelena shifts forward onto her knees. “You’re my knight, remember? The knight always protects the princess.”
“What about when the monsters take the knight away from the princess?” Natasha asked quietly and Yelena shakes her head.
“The princess and the knight always live happily ever after, Nattie. So we’ll fight the monsters together,” Yelena then ducks her head down. “Sorry for saying I hate you. I don’t actually hate you.”
For the first time, Natasha climbs into Yelena’s bed instead, wrapping her arms around Yelena.
“Besides, we always got our super-secret whistle to find each other so if the monsters do take us away then we can whistle and you’ll find me, just like always, right?” Yelena tells Natasha eagerly.
“Right.” Natasha croaks out, clearing her throat and trying to push away the tears in her eyes. “I… I love you, Lena.”
Yelena leans against Natasha. “Love you too, Nattie.” She said.
Natasha falls asleep and dreams of a princess and a knight valiantly fighting off all the monsters that wear faces of people she knew all too well.
They were going back to the Red Room one day and Yelena would be taken from her. But today was not that day so Natasha focuses on their time in Ohio.
She comes to the realization that night, as Yelena snores softly, her face pressed against Natasha’s chest, that it might not be real but that these people were her family and she trusted them with Yelena.
More importantly, she trusted them with herself.