Apricity

James hadn't expected to be offended. In fact he wasn't even sure he was. But over the course of the last couple of weeks, he had felt as though he had made great progress with Regulus.

Before this summer they had barely even had an actual conversation. James had been so excited to get to know him a little better. Though he would never tell a living soul, he had never actually had a problem with Regulus. He had simply followed along whenever Sirius was mad at him, because not doing that could probably have gotten him killed.

It had only been a few weeks, so why was this bothering him so much? Well James kinda knew why. He had always been terrible at dealing with people when they didn't like him, but this was different. 

He hadn't even noticed it until a couple days after that party in the room of requirements. James had gotten a habit of always going out of his way to smile or say hi to Regulus, whenever they would see each other in the halls.

He had been walking back to the commonrom after a potions class. Regulus had been alone, which meant he was even more likely to actually say something back.

Yet nothing had happened at all.

James had smiled warmly at him, he had even thrown in a little wave. 

Regulus had simply taken one look at him, his expression remaining cold, then turned and walked in the opposite direction.

Normally when people were angry with him, he knew why. But he had absolutely no clue what he could have possibly done, or if Regulus was just being stubborn as always.

This continued for about a week, and by the end of it, James was absolutely crushed. It hurts so terribly, to be ignored by someone and not be able to fix it. Why couldn't he just figure out how to fix it?

—-----------

James had just arrived back at the common room, after another failed attempt at getting Regulus to talk to him.

He dumped down on the couch next to Lily, letting out a deep sigh and resting his head on her shoulder.

“Everything alright?” she smiled, placing her finger on where she left off in her book. 

“No. I mean i'm not like dying or anything. It's hard to explain, just a rough day I guess” he explained, looking up at Lily. She scooted over, lifted up her book, and patted her lap.

James couldn't help but smile, as he laid his head in her lap. She continued reading her book, as well as playing with James' hair. It was such simple things, but she did them often. Tiny things that could make him relax in a matter of seconds.

It had happened right before summer break last year. She had actually said yes to one of James' many proposals of taking her on amazing dates. He had been so surprised, not having imagined that she'd ever actually agree.

He had been so stupidly nervous that day. Skipping their last class, to go set up a picnic on the quidditch pitch, which he had reserved for the day.

She had of course told him that it had been absolutely unnecessary to do such a big gesture, but she had also blushed terribly when she noticed how much he had actually done.

James wasn't sure if they were dating. They had never actually confirmed anything. 

Lily was sweet, incredibly empathic, and up until recently she had been the only one who could get him to talk about his feelings. 

But the intense amount of feelings he was having at the moment, he wasn't sure if he would be able to explain that to anyone.

—--------

“Why are you ignoring him again?” Evan had asked Regulus, having just watched him walk straight past Potter, without even as much as a glance in his direction "Im not"

“But you are Reg. I mean I know that you two haven't exactly been besties over the years, in fact i don't even remember you having spoken to him much. But I really thought you were hitting it off. Merlin at one point I felt like Potter might have fallen in love with you” Evan laughed, making Regulus stop in his tracks.

“Potter is not in love with me. And even if he was, I actually couldn't care less. Now if you would excuse me, I am going to the library” Regulus said, annoyed, about to walk in the opposite direction.

“I thought we were gonna go get some extra quidditch practice done before the game?” Barty had appeared around the corner “Right. I forgot about that” Regulus looked back at Evan, who was just full on smiling.

Ever since that stupid party, Regulus had been spending a lot of time with Barty. Of course they were best friends, and they always spent time together, but this was different.

Evan had been the first to comment on it “he's flirting with you you know?” he had said, making Regulus go red “He most certainly is not, now shut up”

But he had been, and Regulus knew that. He just had absolutely no idea how to handle it. It was Barty. His Barty. Who was incredibly fit, that wasn't a secret to anyone, but merlin it made Regulus nervous. He had been so busy being angry with Potter that he hadn't even realised his best friend was flirting with him. 

“You sure you're alright?” Barty had asked him after finishing their quidditch practice “don't listen to Evan im fine really-” Regulus had walked in, to Barty drying his hair with a towel. He was shirtless, and Regulus was thanking the gods that he was wearing pants at least. 

“Fine, I trust you then. But you let me know if there's anything I can do, anything at all. You know I hate seeing you this upset Reg..” he put down the towel, and took a step towards him.

Regulus gulped looking up at him “Yeah i know that, and thank you..” 

“You don't have to thank me” Barty lifted up Regulus chin, seeing as he was at least a couple inches taller. Regulus felt as though his heart was about to beat out of his chest.

“A-Alright” Regulus hated how easily nervous he got in situations like this. 

Barty smiled softly, tilting his head slightly, before closing the gap between them and kissing him. 

—-------------

There was nothing that could have possibly prepared James for what he was currently looking at. He had just left the library, but was now locked in place.

On the other end of the hallways, Barty was standing in front of Regulus, who was leaning against the wall.

James noticed that he was blushing profusely, and did not understand why, until Barty leaned down and bloody kissed him.

James felt like the air had been sucked out of his lungs. He turned and walked to the nearest exit. 

Air. He needed air. 

He sat down on the nearest bench. This was happening way too often. James had been having panic attacks since he was a kid. But usually there would be months between them. 

This also felt like something other than a panic attack, it hurt, it really hurt.

James didn't have much time to analyse his emotions, because when he looked up, he saw Evan. He might be his only source of information, since Regulus still refused to speak to him. 

“Rosier!” James got up quickly, following him “Merlin Potter slow down” Evan chuckled, stopping up.

“Sorry” James smiled “I just wanted to ask you about something, i figured you'd know best” James explained “Sure ask away”

“When did Regulus and Crouch become a thing?” 

Evan nearly laughed when he said that, which James didn't really understand. 

“Like a week ago I think. Why do you ask?” he smirked “No reason, i just- i was just curious. So they are dating?” James felt nauseous “yeah, they are”

—-------

James walked into the common room with a look of panic in his eyes. He scanned the room, finally landing on his two best friends, practically sitting on top of each other. 

“Padfoot, upstairs now” James said, still slightly out of breath from practically running up the stairs. 

“Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?” Sirius asked offended “Someone you mean? You can continue snogging Moony later, I just really need to talk to you "James said desperately.

Sirius let out an annoyed sigh. He leaned over and kissed Remus dramatically one more time, before going with James.

“What?” Sirius sat on his bed “Are you aware of who your little brother is currently dating?” James asked, “Yes I am” Sirius leaned against the bedpost.

“He told you? and you're okay with it?” James was very confused “No he didn't tell me himself, and yes ofc. Merlin please don't tell me that you're about to say something homophobic” Sirius sat up straight “No! Of course not. I couldn't care less about the gender of the person he's dating. It's the fact that it's bloody Barty Crouch. You seriously don't have a problem with that?”

“No, why would I?” Now Sirius looked confused “you know very well that most of the families in slytherin are currently associated with the death eaters, as well as your own family. We only just got you both out of there. Don't you think it could be dangerous?” James asked frustrated “No Prongs i don't. And I honestly don't care. We've tried to help him, if he doesnt want that, then there's not much we can do”  Sirius explained.

“But what if it's not safe for him? Merlin, what if they are planning on using him? I really don't even wanna think about that '' as James spoke, it was as if something clicked inside Sirius, and he couldn't help but smile.

“James. My dear friend, are you currently dating Evans?” he asked, and James looked so confused “Yea i guess i am, what does that have to do with anything?”

“Nothing, just making sure. And James, Regulus will be fine i can assure you. Now may I go back to snogging my lovely boyfriend?” Sirius stood up “Yes you may” James sighed.

—------------

James sat in the quidditch stands that sunday morning, and was not expecting much else than a sort of boring game between Slytherin and Huffelpuff. 

He had even brought a book. Well Lily had talked him into bringing one, giving him a chance to catch up on some homework.

Soon he realised that there was absolutely no way he would be able to concentrate on anything other than the game, and one player in particular of course.

The second the teams had flown out and gotten in position, James' eyes had been locked on the Slytherin seeker. He felt like he was unable to take his eyes off of him actually. 

Even once the game started, James followed him with his eyes, as though he was a ping pong ball. 

James was fine with getting a bit distracted. He always did when watching quidditch matches, this was no different. 

Well usually he didn't notice how the players hair blew in the wind, or how attractive it actually was when someone was so skilled. James hadn't even noticed his mouth hanging slightly open, until Remus had closed it for him.

“Bloody hell Prongs, the game is not that exciting” Remus chuckled, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Of course it is Moony. Its quidditch, it's always exciting” he said defensively “Right. James, did you even read the three chapters for charms tomorrow? I know we are done with O.W.L.S but its still important that we-” 

Lily's voice had been completely drowned out in James' head. He had turned his attention back towards the game, which had probably been a bad idea.

He felt a little pang in his chest. Since the game was kinda slow, Regulus had flown up beside Barty. They were clearly having some sort of hilarious conversation, seeing as Barty had made him laugh so hard he nearly fell off his broom.

James couldn't take his eyes away, even when it hurt so much as it did. Was it because he knew that Barty wasn't good for Regulus? That must've been it. James was simply being protective.

Then Regulus finally took his eyes off of Barty, and his gaze turned towards James. They hadn't had this much eye contact in nearly two weeks, and James felt oddly dizzy.

Was this how quidditch matches were gonna be from now on? What about when it was Gryffindor against Slyrtherin? Would James even be able to focus?