An Unfortuante Arrangement
My, my
I tried to hold you back, but you were stronger
Oh, yeah
And now it seems my only chance is giving up the fight
And how could I ever refuse
I feel like I win when I lose
“Waterloo” by ABBA, 1974
Wednesday 29th September 1976
12:39. One minute left. Marlene sat staring blankly at Professor McGonagall as she explained the homework. The only thing on her mind was lunchtime, also known as the time when she and Mary took their strolls around the castle. 12:40 read on Meadowes’ watch. Yes! Fuck yes! Meadowes was sneering at her, probably assuming she was copying work. Their teacher wrapped up the lesson and everyone was dismissed. She leapt out of her seat, about to make a swift exit. “Miss McKinnon and Miss Meadowes, a moment please.”
Marlene gave a suffocated groan and glared at Lily, giving her a please save me look. Lily appeared apologetic, but James had an infuriating grin on his face. Marlene dumped her bag on the ground, pronouncing her frustration and slumped over to McGonagall. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the woman. She was kind enough and a supposedly good teacher, however, she never seemed to take as well to Marlene as she did to every other one of her friends. When she reached the professor she and Meadowes were already chatting. “Thank you, Professor, I've been very
interested in the theories about-”
Marlene couldn’t listen to the sucking up for a second longer. “What’s up?” She interrupted.
“Yes, Miss McKinnon,” McGonagall nodded, seeing her impatience. “As you must remember from last year, you did not technically meet the requirements to take this class. However we came to an understanding and I have allowed you to continue with transfiguration, on the condition that you sort out your grades.”
Dorcas interjected, “I’m sorry professor, how am I involved?”
Marlene saw a momentary smile form on McGonagall's lips. “Well, Dorcas, I would like you to tutor Miss McKinnon.” An instantaneous eruption of arguments sprouted from both of them.
“Professor you can’t seriously expect me to-”
“Can’t Lily-”
“It's just I’m so busy and-”
“It's,” Marlene began as she grimaced. “Meadowes.”
“If you’re quite finished, Miss McKinnon you don’t have a say in this. As much as Miss Evans would make a fine tutor she is surely too busy with her responsibilities as head girl. And Dorcas if this is any prerogative, I will be organising you a strong recommendation from Professor Dumbledore for whichever path in the ministry you settle on.”
Dorcas seemed to consider it for a moment. She set her eyes on Marlene and despite her forever stony expression she almost winced, before agreeing. “Okay.”
Marlene blinked hard. “Okay?” Marlene asked in horror. Waiting to wake up from this horrible twisted fate. Every fight to get away from Meadowes was futile. It was like they were on some horrible, horrible, atrocious bungee cord. “Okay?” She repeated with a pained expression.
“Thank you for your time,” McGonagall nodded to both of them and retreated to her desk, permitting them to leave. Marlene ran out. Like seriously ran away to meet Mary and tell her the awful news.
“Mary! Mary! Mary!” She began on her approach It uncontrollably spewed out of her when she reached Mary sitting on a window ledge a little way down the corridor. “McGonagall said Meadowes has to tutor me if I want to stay in transfig,” she rushed. “And I have no say in it and aww you waited for me and what the fuck am I going to do. I think I’ll have to kill myself or her better yet.” She ended her sentence only because she was out of breath.
Mary held her hands up. “Woah slow down. Dorcas Meadowes has to tutor you?”
“Yes and-”
Mary smiled, “well God save her soul,” Mary muttered under her breath.
“Oi! Mary! You’re meant to be on my side,” Marlene argued.
Mary laughed like this whole situation was funny and then laughed even harder and Marlene’s attempt at a stern face. “Oh you’ll be fine- I think- Well I hope.” Mary paused and bobbed her head about in thought. “As long as you don’t fuck up, speak or breathe around her.”
Marlene started walking in the direction of the great hall for lunch. She sighed, “I hate you.”
Mary made hastened steps to keep up with Marlene's long legs. “No, you don’t.”
“Oh, but I wish I did.”
The entire group had different things to say about this disastrous situation. None of which had had much influence on Marlene’s opinions. This could only end in tears. And if luck would have it they wouldn’t be hers.
Dorcas
McGonagall had always been favouring of those idiots but she was still an admirable woman. She was a great player, back in her day and a good teacher also. So how could a woman so talented and intelligent make sound an astounding and incredible mistake? Dorcas was simply floored by the statement ‘I would like you to tutor Miss McKinnon’. That wreck was fucking unsalvageable. She was better off trying to teach an ogre ballet. McKinnon was an utter moron and everyone at Hogwarts knew it. She was constantly shown up by every single person around her since her fourth year. The only person Dorcas could think of worse at school was Mulciber and he was rich so it made sense why he had been removed from the school. Why wasn’t McKinnon?
Dorcas made plans to meet McKinnon in the library. Somewhere nice and public. They both finished early on a Friday, at 4pm, so Marlene agreed to 4:30-5:30.
Friday 1st October 1976
They’d only been in the library for twelve minutes before Dorcas decided that Marlene was the single most insufferable human on earth. In the short intermittences in between the near-constant complaining about being together, she kept making this infuriating sighing noise. That was so unnecessarily loud. Obviously, neither of them were enjoying this, so why keep bringing it up? Dorcas wanted to sew her mouth shut. To make matters worse they weren’t even getting anywhere. Marlene began groaning again, “I hate this, it's-”
Dorcas slammed her book down in frustration.“If you don’t shut up I’m going to stick a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger with my toes.” Each word was clear, in the hopes Marlene would pick up the message despite her pea-sized brain.
Marlene's tone changed from bored to rather excited. “What an enticing and wonderful image?”
Dorcas released her head, which suddenly felt very heavy, into the mercy of her hands. “Merlin’s beard you are annoying! I don’t know why I agreed to this.” She regretted the word ‘okay’ the second it left her lips. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Everything related to McKinnon was a bad idea. But on the other hand, if she could just make it a few months and get McKinnon to pass the end of years, then she was secured a recommendation from Dumbledore. Perhaps one of the most influential wizards alive today.
Marlene rolled her eyes and huffed, “Oh yeah cause spending my free time with you is something I chose.” It drove Dorcas mad. How dare she make snarky comments when Dorcas was giving up time to help her?
Dorcas snarled, “Maybe if you got your head out of your arse neither of us would have to be here.”
McKinnon adjusted herself in the chair, sitting up properly. “Sorry, I don’t spend every second neck fucking deep in a stupid textbook. I have friends and actual life experiences.”
“Remus can do both,” Dorcas retorted.
“Do I look like a gangly 6-foot-odd Welshman?” McKinnon asked rhetorically with a mocking confused look. She always did this. Stupid theatrics. Dorcas had noticed her doing it with her friends also.
“You have the gangly part down,” Dorcas sneered. In her defence, McKinnon was very stringy.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” For the first time in their spat, she sounded genuinely offended, her pitch spiked. She stood up and so Dorcas did too.
Dorcas was already in it now. No time for hurt feelings. “You don’t exactly have an elegant grace when you, Potter and Black strut about the castle. The way you throw yourself around the pitch speaks volumes enough.” Marlene was totally careless on the field and usually got a bone broken as well as at least two concussions a season.
“You want to talk shit about the way I play.” Marlene chose to focus on the latter part of the statement.
Dorcas did too. “Oh don’t worry it’s not all your fault that your team lost against Slytherin last year, it’s the rest of your shitty team’s too,” Dorcas smirked going for blood. It seemed silly to those who didn’t play, but quidditch truly meant so much.
“How does it feel to be the player on the team the longest and still be constantly surpassed in skill and opportunity by Regulus Black?” Marlene was warming up. Dorcas could tell. Her insults were getting more precise. Not just ‘Slytherin sucks’. Things were getting exciting, something fun that she could really sink her teeth into.
Regulus was a rich, young, white aristocrat who could quite literally get away with murder and still be adored. Undoubtedly, the Prince of Slytherin. “If you want to talk about Regulus ‘surpassing’ others, I think you’re best off talking to Sirius.” The other rich, young, white aristocrat.
“Don’t you dare compare my friend to his rat of a brother,” Marlene spat out each word.
Dorcas tilted her head and pouted, “Did I strike a nerve? I’m sorry, but it’s not my fault Slytherin got the better brother.”
“Do you really think that? I wouldn’t be worrying about all the snakes in your house, I’d be more concerned about the fact you’re all as thick as trolls.” Dorcas knew that Marlene was referring to all Regulus’ followers. But Dorcas chose to play dumb, interpreting it as an insult to their academic intelligence.
“Slytherin is known for its cunning actually so that doesn’t even make sense. Your house is meant to hone bravery and chivalry but I would argue the only thing you’ve got is oafishness.”
“Ooohhh good one! Because hearing a slopped-together insult from a Slytherin really wounds me. You’re such a meanie,” Marlene said in the most degrading childish voice ever. She laughed in a grating way.
Dorcas pushed her tongue into her cheek. She asked, “What is about the way that you and your friends bully people that makes it more righteous than anyone else? What cause exactly are you crusading for? Because from what I see, you treat people however James arbitrarily decides. You don’t even have a brain of your own. Maybe you do but it got fried from all those stupid parties you're constantly throwing for no reason.”
McKinnon cracked a smile. “My brains are fried? You’re shitting me? Yeah? Your only friend is a fucking mental case. She probably doesn’t even know she’s your mate. I’ve seen her have a more animated conversation with a venomous tentacular.”
Dorcas hadn’t really thought about what she was doing or the publicity of their setting but she couldn’t help herself. She whipped her wand out from her robe and pointed it straight at Marlene’s face. Marlene's face suddenly began straight and unreadable, she lost the previous joy. “Talk about her again. I dare you.”
“Is she your girlfriend? I said-”
Dorcas cast a wordless ‘repulso’, the words seeped straight from her brain into her wand and out into Marlene who was knocked back flying. She knew it wasn’t exactly fair because McKinnon hadn’t even had the opportunity to draw, but she relished in it nonetheless. The bitch deserved it.
Marlene
Cunt. She would kill Meadowes for that. The very next chance she got. Hit her with a curse or a hex so hard her eyes would cross. “I need something that makes a real statement.”
“Marls when will you learn to not provoke her?” Lily asked shaking her head. They were later all sat together in the common room late at night.
She was about to speak and then. “Never,” Mary answered for her.
“Have you ever actually landed a curse on her?” Peter joined in.
“Thanks for all your kind words it was you lot that I was defending. Nice to see you’d do the same,” Marlene gave a soft smile before rolling her eyes at them all.
“Please, you don’t do it for us you do it cause you just like pissing her off,” Mary smiled. She wasn’t totally wrong.
Marlene sighed as if fondly remembering all the times she’d gone out of her way to annoy her. “Well, that’s a bonus. Someone has to put her in her place. She thinks cause she’s clever that she’s better than everyone else. Even the other Slytherins, lowest of the low, bottom of the barrel. Don’t want to be friends with her. What does that tell you?”
“She’s a bit up herself but she’s alright at Slughorn’s parties.”
“No.”
“Please stop.”
“Don’t start,” Peter groaned.
“What?” Lily asked. “What now?”
Marlene let out a low groan that was half a growl. Marlene scowled, “Talking about your arsewipe club. It’s bad enough he has obvious favourites. But inviting his suck-ups to come party with him.” She grimaced. “It’s weird.”
“Bit noncy, Lils.” Mary agreed.
“Isn’t Regulus the only boy?” Peter chimed.
“It’s not like that!” Lily half laughed in shock and half cause she found it ridiculous. “You’re all jealous. Just cause you had to beg Mcgonagall to even let you take potions after you got a ‘dreadful’.” She wanted to regret telling her that but it was too funny not to.
“Not everyone can be as perfect as you Lils,” Marlene smirked. Lily was perfect. Perfect marks, perfect head girl, great friend, beloved by teachers, popular enough. She was too nice for most not to like her. She even got on with the Slytherins.
“Little miss all ‘outstandings’,” Mary jibed. Although it really wasn’t an insult.
“Poor you, on the table with all the thick heads,” Peter added. It was true. Lily was sitting with Marlene whose highest grade was ‘acceptable’. Mary only got one ‘outstanding’ in divination for which she cheated. And Peter was thought to be a squib until third year.
James got mostly ‘exceeds expectations’ and a few ‘outstandings’. Sirius did about the same but he also had extra owls he’d regretfully chosen in 3rd year. Even Remus, who missed so many lessons, managed some ‘outstandings’.
“My mum would give me a clout ‘round the ear if she knew how bad I’d done.”
“Lucky your mum's a muggle! My dad did.” Peter exclaimed.
“Petey, my dear, imagine trying to explain what ‘troll’ means, to your muggle nan with dementia.”
“Your mum thought all your ‘A’s were actual A’s, not just ‘acceptable’!” Mary stated.
Lily gasped, “You did not just let her think that.” Marlene burst out laughing, cause she did. That’s exactly what she did. Her mum was floored, Marlene had never been one for good grades, even in primary.