One Train Toilet
Sun is shining, clouds have gone by
All the people give a happy sigh
He has passed by, giving his sign
‘The Wizard’ by Black Sabbath, 1970
Monday 6th September 1976
“Fuckin’ ‘ell, Remus what’ve y’ got in ‘ere,” Marlene moaned, helping Remus to haul his trunk onto the carriage. “ I know what y’ gonna say actually,” Marlene waved a hand to silence him, “Books!”
“Bingo.”
Marlene had already said her goodbyes to Sinead on the platform. Her older sister had made a drama performance of the whole thing and exclaimed about how she'd finally have space to herself. For which Marlene gave her a kick in the shin. But Sinead promised to think about her whenever she got drunk and missed her drinking partner when things got quiet at home and she missed her favourite fellow shit stirrer. As they got older, they got closer and closer. As they hugged goodbye, the release lasted a few precious seconds longer. Sinead promised to write to her little sister. “Your sister’s cool,” Remus stated, dropping himself into a seat in an empty carriage. Sinead stood away from the edge of the platform but she could still be seen in the crowd.
Marlene sat opposite him, “What d’ y’ mean by that?”
“And wha’ d’ you mean by tha’?” Remus inquired.
“I don’ mean anyt’ing,” Marlene recovered.
“Nothin’ then” they suspiciously squinted, eying each other before falling into a fit of laughter.
“What are we laughing about?” James questioned, peering in through the carriage door.
“Alrigh’ James?” Remus said.
“Not bad. Yourself?” James smiled, nestling onto the same bench as Remus. He threw his feet up on Remus’ legs. Suddenly Remus stiffened, no longer leaning back in the chair. And rounding the corner Marlene realised why, Sirius appeared just behind James, pale and reserved. Normally, he would have jumped in Remus’ lap by now with some speech about how much he’d been missed, but it was merely awkward glances. Sirius took a cautious seat next to Marlene. She smiled at him. Lily was by far the closest to Remus out of the girls and even she only had limited information. She definitely knew more than she let on but this was something between the Marauders. Marlene really hated that stupid name but it’s what they called themselves.
“Holy fuck it’s tense in here!” Mary shouted, strolling in, forcing a seat between Sirius and Marlene. The girls threw their arms around each other, receiving an eye roll from Remus. “I’ve missed you!” she cried. Whenever they called over the summer, Mary complained about how dull life was in London, how much she hated it. “Saw Sinead on the platform, she looks well.”
“Remus thinks she’s alright,” Marlene smirked.
“More than alright,” he added. Sirius grimaced and looked like he had something to say, but just settled back into his seat. James simply looked a little confused but gave Remus an ‘I’m going to pester you about it later’ look. James made this look a lot, he pestered people a lot. Hearing an abrupt knock on the train window, caused the entire group to jump. They turned to see Sinead peering in at them, laughing about their startle. Remus stood up and she reached her arm up to the window. “You’re a star,” Remus shouted to her, receiving her gift. She blew him a kiss and one to Marlene as well. In his hand there was a thick pouch/ envelope-looking thing. He pulled a small rolling paper out of his jean pocket and rolled a cig. James gave a disappointed look.
“Can I have one?” Sirius requested.
Remus ignored him, lighting it and taking a long drag and blowing it out.
James dramatically coughed and spluttered. “Remus,” he grumbled.
He nodded, “Mhhmhhh.” While taking another breath, this time standing up to blow it out the gently cracked window. Remus sat down again and held the fag out to Sirius. He accepted it graciously and hastily inhaled. They smoked it to the butt and Remus stubbed it out on the windowsill and flicked it onto the platform.
“Merlin Remus, we're not even back at Hogwarts yet,” Peter said, announcing his arrival to the group.
“Wormy!” James and Remus shouted. God only knows why anyone would want to be called that but he never seemed to mind. Peter found himself sitting next to Sirius.
The Hogwarts Express pulled out of the station, scarlet carriages glinting in the summer sun. The breath-holding and awkward looks had faded and the group soon fazed back into their normal chatting. “So I goes to him, I says ‘give us a minute’, and then we jus’ step to the side for a sec an’ I’m stood with rich an’ I whisper ‘run’ an’ we jus’ bolt” Remus, Mary and Marlene start pissing themselves laughing while the rest look at them horrified. Well, Sirius kind of always looked horrified like shell shock.
“So you stole the drugs?” James queried.
“Well, I ‘ad the money but jus’ decided to run las’ secon’” James looked unimpressed. “We only nicked them cos he upped the price. Prick.”
“Wait, wait, wait before you said you were mates with Leo or whatever his name was,” Mary interjected, confused.
“Yeah, I am.”
“You offed with his bud.” Mary smiled. She fancied Remus for about a month every time he came back from home. He was tougher and angrier and talked with his accent. Not long into the year, he would settle down into his calm, unbothered self.
“Rich’s problem, not mine, he’d never bother with me.” James looked like he was going to ask questions, so Marlene thought she'd cover for him.
“ Ach James, it's just a laugh. It’s alright Rem, I blackmailed me sister's boyfriend into inhaling a roach while it was still lit.” The whole group went around telling each other stories about their summer. Peter had spent a lot of time at James’ with him and Sirius. Peter and James played quidditch while Sirius sat inside. It was only towards the last week that he went outside to watch. Marlene heard about Remus’ summer for a second time, how he’d robbed from a dealer and a corner shop and Rich’s mam. Only Remus never said he’d stolen it. He’d say ‘nicked’, making it sound like nothing at all. He’d played a lot of rugby with the boys ending most weekends bloody and covered in bruises. Marlene admired how Remus told stories. It wasn’t like he was trying too hard and embarrassing himself: he was cool and effortless, and everyone liked to listen to him talk. The accent helped too. She started adding in bits at the end of his recount when it came to them staying in the leaky cauldron.
Mary talked about this boy who was an old family friend and close with her brother, who came over two or three times a week to hang out and someday at the end of August he’d fallen asleep with her on the sofa and her mother chased him out. Antony his name was. Marlene went last, telling the group about how she’d gone out nearly every night, sometimes with Sinead's friends and sometimes with Jess, her oldest friend. She missed out a lot of the alcohol, after seeing how James mothered Remus. She needed to be fit for quidditch.
Lily slid open the carriage door without any warning. “James. Where have you been?”
James comically thrashed his head around with his hands forming binoculars before finally pointing to himself. “You’re looking for me?”
“James, you missed the whole prefect meeting?”
“Oh well, then you can catch me up.” He beamed at her. Before she could speak, he cut her off entirely. “Later.” They were like an old married couple except one was desperately in love and the other was barely tolerant. “What about you Evans, how was your summer?” James asked. Lily sighed and sat next to him and he took his feet off the chair and shuffled closer to Remus. She talked about how Severus knocked for her every day, being sent away by her father every day. They hadn’t spoken since he called her a mudblood last year. James clenched his fists as though Snape had appeared in the carriage with them. “Snivellus had it coming,” he snarled.
Remus shuffled in his seat, “He’s had plenty.” There it was again, that weird marauders' only thing. Peter started picking at his jumper and Sirius hung his head.
“Nono not that, I meant Evans-”
“Don’t worry about it,” Remus hushed him while reaching into his pocket for another smoke. James didn’t lecture him this time. And Sirius didn’t ask for a puff. “Black?” He raised an eyebrow and held it out. Remus swatted James on the shoulder and nodded for James to shift over. “Sit.” Sirius ran like a dog with its tail between its legs. Begging for some sort of praise or at least acceptance. They smoked in silence.
Hours passed and they laughed and chatted and squabbled. James spent far too much money buying them all food from the trolley: 7 pumpkin pasties, 14 cauldron cakes and all of the chocolate frogs. “Lard-arse”, Remus laughed. “Leave some for the rest of the train”, to which James gave him the finger and handed two chocolate frogs back to the trolley lady.
“Right now you’re all fed it's time for quidditch,” James began. Remus rolled his eyes and Mary gave an exaggerated yawn. “Oi, this year is more important than ever, I’ve heard. Slytherin has a new captain.”
“You didn’t hear that.” Lily sighed, “Crabbe left in the middle of last year, they had to replace him at some point.” Lily retorted. Then those two started bickering, so everyone just sort of switched off. Mary lay back into Marlene’s lap and started chatting with Peter. Marlene stroked her hair, nodding along to the conversation.
The trip to Hogwarts was always draining and most of them had fallen asleep by eight. Mary lay peacefully on a dozing Marlene, Peter snored in the corner and James lay with his head hanging down. The look of him made your neck ache. Marlene jerked herself awake to see Remus sat with a book in his right hand, Sirius slept soundly on his left shoulder. “Comfortable?” She whispered.
“Not really,” he sneered down at the soothed boy like he was vermin.
“Look, I don’t know what happened between you lot,” she began. “But the fact you let him move and haven’t kicked him to the floor yet with those bricks you call shoes, tells me you want to forgive him. Or you are forgiving him even though you don’t want to”
“I'm only doing it for the group.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” she shrugged. “Fuck I need a piss.” Marlene wriggled out from beneath Mary and placed her head down on the seat slowly. She attempted to open the carriage door as quietly as possible with little result. “In a bit.” Remus waved her a short goodbye without taking his eyes off the page. It was pretty dark, the only source of light being dimly lit scones that were few and far between. They had a warm orange glow. Marlene strolled through the carriages making quick glances into every compartment out of sheer nosiness. Many people were asleep, some still chatting quietly. She found herself at the toilet. Emmeline Vance opened the door as she approached. “Em?”
“Marlene!” She rushed to give her a hug. Marlene really needed the toilet but there was very little choice when it came to Em. She was a lot like Mary, ‘the gift of the gab’ her mother would call it. They were in the midst of a brief catch-up when Marlene felt someone shove past them into the toilet and shut the door. “Who was that?”
“Oi!” Marlene began knocking on the toilet door. “I was here first. I've been waiting.” No response.
“Look, Marlene, I’m gonna head off, I’ll see you in a bit.” Marlene nodded. She really really needed the toilet now. She had been desperate when she left the carriage and it had been at least ten minutes since then.
She knocked again. ‘I can not piss myself right now’, she thought. “Come on. You’re taking the mick you saw me waitin’ outside.” Her knocking grew louder, it was more of a pounding now. It had been at least three minutes. What was she doing in there? Marlene considered the men's. Like really considered it - but just as she made her decision, she heard a flush. There was a pause and then the running of water. Finally, there was a sign of the mystery girl emerging. If it was a fucking little one, Marlene decided she would trip them up on their way out, they were taking the piss. No no not piss, think about something else: the sky, blue, the sea, water, waterfall, shit no. And then there she stood. She had a large presence for such a small stature. Dorcas Meadowes stood in the doorway.
“Sorry were you waiting? I hadn’t realised,” she smiled, Marlene wanted to hex her but right now she didn’t think she could last even a second longer. She forced herself past the shorter girl into the toilet.