Chapter 5
Yelena downed the third shot, her throat burned but she didn't mind. Her routine of gulping down as much liquor as she liked and accompanying it with as much junk food as she liked was never ideal. Nor was Yelena's life. She felt it fitting that she had the right to accelerate this wait for death. This life, everyone seemed to enjoy was suffocating. She found her heart racing. Her hands felt clammy.
Is that it then? That's how they can find the body. At a local gas station. The greatest child assassin world has ever known killed by her own hands.
She quickly pushed the thought away. Tried to. Natasha gave up her life so that Yelena could live hers. And she was going to live it.
It was being hard just to remember she's alive. The thought of 'living' was tiring. She realized she didn't even have much to live for. The house she calls home, always had an empty piece in it. The glue of the family that would never grace the steps with her mischievous yet knowing smirk. She would never see those hair red like fire and the green eyes, always displaying determination and courage.
Courage. It must have been that Nat would have experienced in her last moments. Sacrificing her own life for a belief she would never be alive to see come true.
Or maybe it would have been desperation. Alexei, Melina, Yelena- all were gone, dusted. Major parts of her second family too were snapped. Natasha must have been alone considering the remaining ones never really provided good support. She finds it hard to cross her sister's room in the Ohio home. She had been the one who had convinced her parents to not clear up any of her things. She wondered if Natasha ever felt the emptiness visiting the house after the blip. The house that brought them so many great memories.
The room for which she had fought her mother. It soon dawned upon her- the realization of what she had done. It is what she does, push people away. Hurt those who try to help her.
"Hey, stranger" Yelena quickly looked behind her to find an amused Kate, smiling her usual charming smile. This cheerfulness came so naturally to her. She seldom envied her for it.
Yelena sighed as Kate took the seat in front of her. She was still confused as to why Kate still followed her.
"Kate Bishop I told you-"
"You told me that you are a killer. I think I could already guess it when you tried to kill my partner. I don't mind you being one so stop with this 'you wouldn't want to be with me' shit because you don't make decisions for me." Kate announced not leaving any room for arguement.
Yelena couldn't help the shy smile that plastered itself on her face.
"Now, what's the problem?" Kate asked with genuine concern.
Yelena decided to shake her off once again but truth be told, she needed someone. She wouldn't disclose information like these to anyone before. Only her sister. With her gone, these informations were just buried in her forever, their weight bringing her down and she wanted to remove the weight. Wanted to feel like herself again.
She was tired, really.
"This mission I went on recently I was supposed to save two widows, one of them being a widow in training, hardly 10 years old. I was going with another rescued widow but end moment she hurt herself so I decided to go alone. This widow was very skilled. I tried my best but she had a hold on me and-"
Yelena released a shaky breath. Kate reached out for her hand and gently squeezed it for reassurance.
"I tried to break free but the widow in training was there as well, in the fight so I tried to keep her as far away as possible but she wouldn't move. I tried to save myself and in that process, I-" Yelena trailed off, fresh tears struggling to fall away. She didn't need to continue as Kate knew the reason behind her guilt now.
"A 10 year old girl. She had so much to live for. And I-" Yelena muttered through gritted teeth, hatred for herself inflicted in every word.
She took her hand away from Kate's, feeling she isn't worthy of any assuring touches.
Kate stared at the woman who holds up so much grief and regret. Yelena took in another shot before continuing
"You still like me?" She added sarcastically, prepared to lose another person she cared about. It was better this way. Yes, maybe she wouldn't see the ever enthusiastic Kate Bishop again but she would be safe. Safe from the monster she refuses to let go off.
"Yes" Kate said after a moment of silence. It was definitive. It wasn't Kate's silly tricks. It was a decision no one could change.
Yelena scoffed.
"Yelena, it wasn't your fault. Yes what happened was unfair but it wasn't your fault. I want you to know that. And I won't leave your side until I know for sure that I can change this 'I am a monster' thing of yours. Because you are not a monster. You are Yelena Belova. Natasha's sister. And I know you are not biologically related but you carry forward her legacy of bringing good to this world. A world which was never just to you but you find the good in it. Hell, you were doing that when you rescued the widows. So, yes I would be honored to be with a person who still managed to see good in people after all she has been through."
Yelena processed the speech after a while. She let one silent tear roll down her cheek. She composed herself before stating, "I am not Natasha. I can never be her. "
"No, you are your own person. And that person is beautiful throughout." Kate smiled genuinely.
The earnestness in her words made Yelena's heart ache.
It had been a while since she had met a person who meant every word they say.
She looked at Kate with grateful eyes, fresh tears threatening to fall.
"Thank you"
Kate beamed with joy, "Anytime"
That night, after a trip back to the house was made and a few apologies were spoken, a room was cleared for a new guest. Taking out her sister's things (however less they were) was hard for her. But she had to let someone in the family. Someone who wasn't leaving anytime soon.
Kate Bishop always found a way to the widow family. Yes, she didn't fill the gap a certain redhead had left behind but she did add her own piece in the house which no longer resembled emptiness.