Chapter 1
“Oh come on Petey, what’s it going to hurt?” Wade asked with a sickeningly sweet voice as Peter rolled his eyes, plopping down on his bed.
“Wade, I’m not going to take a DNA test. Odds are nothing will even come of it-” Wade instantly cut him off.
“I picked the largest DNA database in the world, and GET THIS! It’s anonymous! So if you find your real daddy out there-” A suggestive wag of Wade’s eyebrows under his red mask made Peter huff. “You can choose to stay anonymous! All you have to do is give a cell phone number. That’s it!”
Peter inhaled sharply and pulled the blankets up over his legs. Would it be nice to know who his biological father was? What if he was dead? Or worse, he was some super villain that Peter would have to deal with in the future?
“If I give my cell phone number, they could just look it up.” Peter spoke matter-of-factly, and Wade started fiddling around with the web shooters on Peter’s desk.
“That’s why I got you a burner, Petey! Totally anonymous. Plus, what if the guy is rich, and we can take him for all the money he’s worth and get you an apartment that is actually nice and we could go out to fancy restaurants and we could-”
“Wade, he’s definitely not rich. I doubt the guy even would want to know about me. May told me that he didn’t even give my mom his number, and that it was a one night stand before she even met Richard.” Peter had only recently figured out that Richard was not his biological father, something that his mother Mary had decided she wanted to keep secret.
May had told Peter about the one night stand after looking at some old pictures of them and talking about how Peter hadn’t looked like Richard. May regretted that Mary and Richard never told him, but that was in the past. Peter wasn’t upset with May, and honestly he wasn’t too upset in general because he had already lived his life without any parents other than Ben and May. The thought of his biological father being out there was an odd one, though, and left Peter feeling uneasy.
“Aren’t you a little curious who could have created such a sexy spider being?” Wade wondered aloud, speaking more to himself than to Peter. “I know you are. I certainly am too.” It was obvious Wade wasn’t talking to Peter, and Peter threw a book that was on his nightstand at him.
“Stop talking to yourself while you have put me in an existential crisis. What if he actually wants to have a relationship or something? That would be kind of weird. Plus, how would I explain that I, a seventeen year old, lives alone in some ratty New York City apartment and am dating a twenty nine year old masked vigilante-”
Wade gasped dramatically, clutching at his chest.
“Never call me that Spidey! I am MUCH more than a masked vigilante-”
“Stop interrupting me. Then it would be a whole other person to hide Spiderman from, a whole other person for me to be anxious about protecting, which may I remind you is the exact reason I moved out of May’s house, and THEN-” Wade wasn’t going to let him continue.
“Either you’re going to do it or I’m going to swab your mouth while you’re asleep and do it for you. Your pick.” Wade had splayed himself out on Peter’s floor, stretching his long limbs and Peter secretly liked it when Wade took control of this situation. Still didn't mean he couldn't be upset about it.
“Fine. But I’m not gonna like it.” Peter and Wade performed the mouth swab, put it in the test tube and read the directions for sending it out. Peter pulled his suit on, they jumped out his window, and found the nearest mailbox to drop it in.
“See you in four-to-six weeks, little buddy!” Wade patted the top of the mailbox and Peter truly wondered what on Earth he was doing dating this man. Then they went on to talk about what they were going to get for dinner.
“I’ve got ten bucks from this person I robbed today-”
“Wade, if you keep robbing people, I am seriously going to have to beat the shit out of you.” Peter and Wade sat on top of the apartment building and Wade threw his hands up to the air.
“Peter! They had robbed someone else. I was just taking the money back. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if we bought some tacos with it. Or maybe some halal-”
~
AnonyDNA has sent you a new message: DNA Results for Peter Parker are in!
The email came when Peter was in his last period class of the day, AP Calculus. He briefly scrolled through it, only to realize that he would have to log in to an account to see any of the results so he resigned to looking at it later.
After class, Peter did his normal patrols which usually took about three hours, and Wade would join him for the last hour. Nothing too crazy was going on, but his mind was still a little too preoccupied to remember to check the results from the email until Wade met up with him.
They met at their normal meeting point, some high rise in Brooklyn on Atlantic Avenue, and Peter was instantly reminded.
“Oh! Wade! That DNA thing sent me an email today and said my results were ready. I forgot until I saw you!” Peter fell to the ground in a criss-cross-applesauce position and took out his phone. Wade squealed in excitement and dove to the ground, trying to get a look at Peter’s phone. It took a couple of minutes for Peter to set up an account, verify it, and Wade grumbled and whined the whole time about how long it was taking.
When they finally got into it, there was a tab that had a New Results! flashing in green and Peter’s heart nervously skipped a beat. He almost didn’t want to look, but curiosity got the better of him and he clicked on it. And all of the sudden, there it was, staring back at him.
Paternal DNA result found --
Peter’s heart stopped. He was one tap of a finger away from finding out who his father was. Wade had stopped breathing and looked at Peter, trying to decipher any of his emotions from under his mask. He’d almost wished they were at his apartment.
“Hey Petey, let’s go home and-”
“I want to see now.” Peter’s shaking hand tapped the result, and the only thing that popped up was a username.
JARV052970 is a 99% paternal match to PPspider
No active phone number provided for this user. Users may try to reach you via the number you inputted when you submitted your test. We’re sorry for this inconvenience.
It took a second for Peter to process what he was reading, and he even went back and read it for a second time.
“He didn’t even put in a phone number!” Peter suddenly exploded, startling Wade.
“Oh baby boy,” Wade rubbed his back gently, trying to comfort him. “Let’s get you back to the apartment. I’ll finish patrols tonight, okay?” They made their way back to the apartment, Peter swinging through the cold air trying not to think about anything. When they finally made it back, Peter’s suit was off in an instant and he slid on a pair of sweatpants.
“I can’t believe he didn’t even put a phone number. I can’t believe he’s even out there! Does he know I exist? Does he even want to know if I exist?!” Peter paced back and forth, and Wade mildly regretted even having him submit this test.
“Peter, if he did this test he obviously wanted to know-”
“Yeah, but what if he’s got like ten others out there! What if I’m one of god knows how many and I’m just some dumb kid who wanted to know who his father was!” Peter’s voice got that tone that Wade knew meant a panic attack was close to coming on, and it was something he had to stop.
“Hey, we’re doing just fine without him, and even if you’re one of one hundred let me tell you, you are the coolest one out of all those sorry bitches. You’re Spiderman, and you’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. If your father doesn’t want to meet you, that’s his loss.” Wade spoke gently, and that took the edge off of Peter a bit.
“You’re right. This doesn’t really change anything other than that fact now I know he doesn’t want to be contacted by one of his five hundred kids-”
A particularly annoying ringtone rang through Peter’s small bedroom, interfering with his train of thought, and Peter groaned.
“Wade, that is the most annoying ringtone I have ever heard. Turn it off.” Peter snapped at him, but Wade simply shrugged his shoulders and looked around the room.
“That’s not me.” They looked at each other for a second, until it clicked. The burner phone that Wade had gotten for Peter just for the purpose of this DNA test was ringing in the third drawer down in his desk, and Wade jumped for it.
“How is that thing still charged?!” Peter asked as Wade scrambled to grab the still ringing phone, and he threw it at Peter. Peter didn’t even think for a second before he answered the phone.
“Hello?” Peter answered the phone, and the line was silent for a quick second. Peter held his breath.
“Hi, is this… PPspider?” An older male voice asked on the phone and Peter blushed madly and shoved his face in his hands.
“Unfortunately that is the username I picked.” Peter couldn’t say anything else, couldn’t ask any of the questions he wanted to ask, just spoke like an idiot.
“My name is Happy Hogan and I am Head of Security here at Stark Industries. I’ve just gotten a notification that your DNA here matched somebody of interest and I was wondering if you would be able to come in and give a sample in person?” Peter’s stomach dropped to his feet and did a couple of somersaults.
“Uh-I-uh, guess I could.” Peter stuttered out, really unsure of what to even say. “Who… who is the person of interest?” He finally got the cuts to ask, and Happy let out a sigh.
“I’m not at liberty to say. What’s your name, and when can we set up a time for you to come to Stark Industry and give that test?” Peter fiddled with the loose string hanging from his shirt as Wade tried to listen in to the conversation.
“My name is Peter… just Peter, if you wouldn’t mind. I’m free on Saturday morning, would that work?”
“Just Peter, Saturday morning works fine. 9am at 890 Fifth Avenue, Manhattan. Ask the security guard for Happy Hogan and they’ll tell you where to go. Have a good rest of your day.” The line went silent and Peter was left there in shock.
“What?! What?! Are you going to meet him?!” Wade practically shouted, and Peter scrunched his eyebrows.
“What the fuck?” Peter muttered, looking at the phone like it was burning him. “That was Stark Industries. My DNA matched a… person of interest. I have to go and submit a DNA test there on Saturday.” Peter’s mind was moving a mile a minute,
“A person of interest?” Wade’s voice rose a decibel in either excitement or worry, and Peter shrugged his shoulders.
“Does that mean… a villain? An employee? I have no idea. What the fuck is happening?!”
~
Saturday was there before Peter knew it. He didn’t know what to wear, what to say, or how to act. He had no idea what was going to happen, so he decided not to wear or bring any of his Spiderman stuff and have Wade lurk around with a bag filled with his suit and web shooters in case he needed it.
Wade and him took the subway, hoods both over their heads as they talked about what they would do after. Peter was so anxious he couldn’t even talk about what he thought was going to happen, so Wade just kept him distracted with talks of patrol and a meeting with the X-men later today to help.
When they made it to the Start Towers stop, Wade stayed on and was going to take one more stop and hang around the building and please not draw any attention. Peter ran up the stairs and took a deep breath when he was met with one of New York’s most impressive buildings.
He dug his nails into the palm of his hands, watching as the crescent shaped indentations heal up within a matter of seconds. He might as well just go in and get it over with. Wade was going to wait around for the couple of minutes the swab would take, and then he could leave, and try to forget about everything until he had to think about it.
He took a big, deep breath at the revolving doors and found himself going through them. He had been in the building a couple of times, mostly for a debrief after a particularly hard battle, but he’d never come in this way. It was much worse than swinging through a window. The security guard at the door gave him an expectant look and Peter stopped for a second, hesitating.
“I… I’m here for Happy Hogan?” The security guard squinted his eyes at him and Peter wanted to shrink into a ball and leave almost immediately.
“What’s your business?” He asked, and Peter literally had no idea what to say.
“Um… I’m not, totally sure, but he told me to ask for him-”
“Hey!” A man who looked like he had been walking a little too fast for himself huffed out at the security guard. He had a beard and was a little on the bigger side, but the security guard immediately straightened up. “Let the boy in! God, you guys are goons.” He muttered, walking up to Peter.
“I’m Happy. I’m going to be bringing you upstairs, if that’s okay?” Peter just dumbly nodded, unsure if he could actually use his voice. He followed him to the elevator and watched as Happy scanned his badge and pressed the eighty-fifth floor. Peter’s heart thrummed in his chest as he nervously looked around the elevator.
“How old are you, kid?” Happy asked, examining him for a quick second. Peter wanted to curl up on the ground and die.
“Seventeen, sir.” His voice shook as Happy’s eyes glanced at his face. Peter dug his fingernails into his palm again.
“Are you smart?” The elevator started to slow down as they approached the desired floor. Peter looked at him like he was crazy.
“I… guess?” Peter watched as Happy’s eyebrows crinkled together and the door opened, revealing a pristine looking lab. There was one person in the room, waiting with a cotton swab in one hand and a test tube in the other. Peter peeked around the room, trying to take in the surroundings, and planning a possible escape route if he needed one.
“Peter, we’re gonna swab your mouth to run our own DNA test, okay?” Happy pointed to a seat for Peter and he reluctantly sat down. The lab technician didn’t say a single word as she walked over and prodded Peter’s cheeks with the swab. It was over before Peter knew it, and the swab was in the test tube, and the woman was walking out of the room. Peter stood up, but Happy shook his head.
“Sit back down and just wait here a couple minutes, okay? It should only take five minutes.” Peter’s breath hitched.
“What should only take five minutes?” Peter asked, sitting down and fidgeting in the seat. Happy looked down at him condescendingly.
“The DNA test.” Peter’s worst nightmares were coming true.
“I… I thought they would take a couple weeks?” Peter tried his absolutely hardest not to let his voice shake, but to no avail, Happy could hear the nerves and his face softened a bit.
“Listen, kid, it’ll be okay. Five minutes tops. We have the best labs in the world, just wanted to make sure that DNA website was right.”
“Can’t you just… call me when it’s done?” Peter really did not want to be here for this. Every nerve in his body was tingling with anticipation and his mind was flooded with so many possibilities.
“Can’t do. Should be back any minute now-” Happy's ringtone cut him off and made Peter jump about a mile in the air. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and Peter could clearly read Tony Stark on the caller ID. Happy put up one finger and swiped the phone to answer.
“Hello?” Happy excused himself from the room, walking into the hallway and leaving Peter alone. Peter immediately whipped his phone out and dialed Wade’s number.
“Petey!” He answered. “What’s goi-”
“Wade they’re running the test results now and I’m gonna know any second who my fucking father is and I can’t do this anymore I don’t want to do this-”
“Baby, calm down, it’s okay. I’m right outside. We’re gonna figure this out when we can, okay? I love you, and your dad could be Thanos and I would still love you.” That made Peter laugh a bit, but when Peter heard commotion outside he whispered to Wade.
“Got to go. See you soon.” The door knob wiggled a bit, and the door opened, revealing Tony Stark himself.
Peter had never seen Tony without at least half of his Iron Man suit on. They’d only ever spent time together during those big debriefs, and that would be right after a fight. It was always a good time, though. Tony would buy everyone a big meal and Peter would lift half of his mask to shove his face full of the delicious food and they would all laugh and fix each other's injuries but this was different.
Tony was wearing a blue pinstripe suit with a navy blue tie. His face was a mixture of confusion and excitement, and Peter suddenly wished it was just him and Happy alone in the room again.
“Peter, hello.” Tony spoke with a voice Peter had never heard him use before. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m sure you know who I am.” Peter wanted to leave, and he wanted to leave right then. He could not stand to be in that lab for another second.
“What’s your full name?” Peter shook his head at the question, immediately resolving to not telling Tony his full name. He couldn’t. Tony was so close to his alter-ego, so close to his Spiderman life, that this was dangerous. But… what was Tony doing in here? Why was Tony in this room with him?
“Just Peter.” Peter spoke out with a quiet voice, and Tony’s eyes softened a bit when he heard the nerves. He decided to continue on.
“As you know, from my genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist life, there were many times I would be with people and not remember or even know their name. And a year and a half ago, when Steve learned of my true history with that kind of thing, he made me submit my DNA through an anonymous ancestry site-”
No. No no no no no no. This can’t be happening. Peter’s face went white.
“And I never thought it would get me anywhere! I always used protection, always made sure to cover all my bases because that’s the type of person I am-”
This is a joke. This is not true. His heart was pounding in his ears, vision tunneling to that single point where he was looking at Tony’s face.
“But I did it to humor him. To let him know that I wanted to know if I had any kids out there, because I did! I do want to know that. And imagine my surprise when Happy called me on Thursday afternoon to let me know he’d gotten an email from that very-”
Tony Stark is not my biological father. Tony Stark can not be my biological father. There is no possible way.
“That very website found a match to a seventeen year old boy with the username PPspider.”
Peter’s face blushed such a dark red that Tony couldn’t help the smile from pulling to his lips.
“Peter is a lovely name, maybe not one I would have picked, but now seeing you here, meeting you, I understand why it’s your name. You look like such a Peter.”
What the fuck is he talking about?! Say something, Peter. Tell him off!
“Are you in highschool? What grade are you in? What subjects do you like?” Tony started the grilling, but Peter’s ears just rang with such a high pitch that he could barely hear. The quick anger that bubbled up in his stomach surprised him, and he tried to push it down.
“Are you my… father?” Peter asked brusquely, needing the clarification. Needing to hear it come out of Tony’s mouth, whether it be a lie or the truth, whether Tony was happy or sad or angry, he needed to hear it.
“Peter, I am your father. The DNA was a 99% match. I just needed to make sure that the website hadn’t gotten anything incorrect.” Peter sat back in his chair, disbelief on his face.
Tony Stark was his father. Mr. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist had fought alongside him, been his ally, been his enemy and lived his whole life while Peter suffered as an orphan?
“No way. No fucking way.” Peter gritted out, nails again digging into the fleshy part of his palm.
While May was working in the Emergency Department, struggling to support the two of them and pay off Uncle Ben’s funeral cost, eating Spaghettio-s alone for nights in a row, this jackass was building a dumb suit of iron, falling in love with Steve, and being pampered with the Avengers for seventeen fucking years now?!
“I know this is shocking, and trust me, if I had known about you I would have dropped everything in a second. I did drop everything in a second for you, to meet you today. To find out if you were really my son.”
Peter’s chest flushed up to his neck, and all types of emotions flew through his brain. He tried to open his mouth, tried to say something, but it was like his tongue was tied down with barbed wire. His mouth burned with questions and answers, yet he could simply sit there and stare.
“I promise I would have never done this on purpose. I am so sorry that I couldn’t have been there for you. Your mother,” Tony hesitated for a second. “Was one of many women I treated unwell, and if I’m being honest, I have no idea who your mother is. All I know is that you’re my son, and I would like to get to know you. And Steve would like to know you as well.”
What. The. Fuck.