Loki didn't particularly like being the second-youngest of 5 children but with little option; they stuck it out for the sake of their kingdom. In some ways, Loki didn't mind at all that they weren't high on the line of succession as it allowed them the freedom they desired to travel and study freely. However, it did mean that they oft went overlooked by their parents and other siblings- especially so after Höðr blinded himself on one of their potions by accident.
Maybe that's why they sought to redeem themselves by luring Svaðilfari away from Asgard- in the hope that they'd be allowed a sliver of the affection that they'd once been afforded. Instead, it had only gotten them negative attention from the whole of Asgard and a son- who they adored with every fibre of their being. When they'd been taken by Angrboða and forced to bear the giants children; they'd hoped that their family would worry for them and maybe would care for them when they returned. It was not to be and they were ridiculed again by Thor and his cronies- their newborn children being ripped from them before they stood even a chance. Even once they'd publicly married the Lady Sigyn Ivaldisdottir; a noble of a standing only a slight bit lower than theirs on Vanaheim- their family hadn't even attended their wedding which had been humiliating and heartbreaking.
Their beautiful twins, Narfi and Váli, had been with them for only a year or two when Thor and the All-Father came for them. He had torn them from Loki's arms again while Thor brutally struck down their wife in front of their eyes; a sight that had left them unable to stop the further cruelties of the All-Father when he sought to punish them for something they'd had no hand in. Baldr had been brutally murdered by Höðr with a simple arrow of mistletoe- a gift from someone who hadn't liked Baldr. Loki had no hand in their older brothers death and even Hela had been punished for Höðr's actions. Höðr himself had been executed the same day- tossed aside like garbage. Loki suffered even more for their younger brothers actions; having their lips sewn shut with a thread made from the remains of their two sons.
After recovering from the initial agony they were in, Loki closed off all emotion as the realm of Asgard sought out every individual in an attempt to get them to cry for Baldr so he may return- a stipulation of their daughters. For Loki, they held no love for Baldr and thus couldn't conjure the emotion or care to cry for their older brother; an act that left the soul of the other in Helheim until such times as Ragnarök began. The All-Father threw them into the dungeons of Asgard to rot until they were forgiven; the threads not once being removed from their lips. For nearly 2 centuries, they sat below Asgard in disgrace and slowly starving to death; insanity having set in after the first 3 decades of solitude and being forced to finally address the pure grief they felt at the loss of all the ones they loved. They felt no love for anyone from the Royal Family; which is why when Frigga released them, they said not a word to her- even when the threads were removed- for a further 50 years. Their silence was met with ridicule and claims that their Silvertongue had been cut out by the All-Father. They'd had enough one night and with much drink backing their confidence; stood up and had begun laying into everyone at the party so horrifically that no one could stop them. They were finally silenced when their weakness from the dungeons took them and they dropped unconscious- Odin had been unable to handle their youngest and had confined them to their quarters until they were better; which held them for only a short while.
Maybe, in some way, that's why they reacted the way they did when they found out they were not even of Odin and Frigga's blood but that of Laufey-King. Insanity seemed like the only thing left for them- their mind having no way to keep them from slipping down a dark path now. With Odin in the Odinsleep and Thor banished; Loki had the stress of ruling on their painfully overworked shoulders. All Frigga would have needed to do to stop their slipping was to just tell them the truth but she'd honeyed her words and made vague statements about Odin- an act that doomed Loki to the depths of merciless insanity. Screaming and crying, they had trashed their quarters the eve of their fall; unable to handle the revelation and the implications. They loved their mother still- or so they told themselves- and didn't wish her harm but they wanted Odin and Thor to hurt as they did; even if they'd never understand truly what it felt like to be Loki at that moment.
With Frigga's death came another blow to Loki's fragile mind- the explosion in their cell only being the first sign of their grief about the Queen. While they may have shared no blood, they did love her as she was the only mother they'd ever known. What no one ever saw was the choking laughter that escaped the fallen one; the laughter that left them wheezing on the floor as tears of raw agony flowed down their cheeks like rivers. They accepted Thor's deal without hesitation- wanting revenge for the woman they called mother and they got it; gloriously. Even with the threats from everyone and Jane slapping them for an attack they had never wanted- they got their revenge for their mother and nearly got to see their daughter again themselves. Oh, their sweet Hel had turned them away- citing the Norns having a purpose for them. It had hurt to return but what had hurt more was their brother abandoning them on Svartálfheim with no real way home. The poor guard whose visage they stole was recovered shortly after they disposed of Odin on Earth, a frighteningly easy thing to do. Ruling as Odin was so much easier because everyone listened- even though Loki wasn't blind and did suspect that some people knew of their falsehoods despite not acting on them.
Thor had demanded Odin back and they'd conceded- easy enough right? Of course not. Odin had left the care home where they'd left him and a blasted Midgardian sorcerer had sent them into a massive panic attack by dropping them into an endless void of space. Cute. They'd escaped that in about 3 seconds at most- panicking as soon as they were out and in a private place. Recovering had taken a while but they reappeared in the Sanctum and vaguely threatened the sorcerer before being transported to Norway. Odin died there and Loki was left feeling very much conflicted about the whole matter and that was before Hela came back. Thor had forgotten Hela it seemed which was ironic. Loki hadn't wanted a fight and merely sat back down on the cliff edge while looking into the endless abyss of the sunset.
They were so, so tired.