They’re both standing in Matt’s apartment, the only light coming from the billboard outside. Frank is tired, so damn tired. He knows that if this had happened on another day, it would’ve been fine. But it had to happen on the day he woke up screaming, not knowing where he was.
Matt is quiet and he knows he made a mistake. But he couldn’t be bothered to give a damn right now. It was the anniversary of his Dad’s death and he was tired. Maybe if it was another day, he would’ve let Frank take the kill shot on a man who was going to kill him.
And maybe he would’ve just made a snarky comment about it. But it wasn’t another day, and he stepped in front of the criminal and saved his life. They managed to win and subdue everyone, but there was an animosity between them.
So when they reached Matt’s apartment, he walked away from Frank, pissed and tired. When Frank made a comment about him acting like a child, he snapped, partly because he knew it was the truth and because he was itching for a fight.
He starts with critiquing Frank's way of doing things and he starts yelling about how he just can’t kill someone. He gets angrier and angrier and he pauses before deciding on what he needs to do.
“This was a mistake, Frank. This relationship is a mistake. It was stupid to think we would work out.” He turns to look at Frank, as he hears his hands clench.
Frank knows what Matt is trying to do, he is trying to push him away like he always does on bad days. But Frank just can’t be bothered to try and stop him. He was tired and pissed, and he was itching for a fight too.
“Every damn thing is temporary in my life. I should’ve known that this was the same,” Frank spits out, kicking the table. The same table that inevitably led them here, fighting and tired. The table that started their relationship.
Matt had bought it, realized he couldn’t put it together because even with his amazing senses he couldn’t read the directions. So after one of their many missions together, and many jokes from Frank, he finally asked him for help. Frank remembers how absurd it was at the time, going to Matt’s place, both of them covered in blood, and putting together a fucking table from Ikea.
Matt stays quiet, clenching and unclenching his bloody fists, a snarl on his face. And Frank laughs an awful, guttural sound. Matt staggers back a step, flinching as he realized just how badly he fucked up.
He doesn’t want to lose Frank. But he can hear Stick urging him. “C’mon Matty. You know you can’t protect this city and keep him.”
“Seriously? Cat got your fucking tongue now?”
Frank no longer sounds like his Frank, who would hold him on the bad days and put him back together again. He sounds like the Punisher, the one who shot him in the head, the one who strikes fear into those who see him.
Frank notices the slight tremor in Matt's hands and scoffs, “You sure weren’t scared earlier when you were preaching that bullshit to me, Red.” Frank isn’t yelling and that makes it all the worse. Matt can handle the yelling, but this?
Frank swallows and tightens his shoulders, his normal steady heart rate speeding up, and Matt readies himself for a punch. But it never comes. Frank just sighs.
And Matt wants to apologize but he can’t. He’s paralyzed, watching helplessly as the best goddamn thing in his life implodes. He wants to scream and shout that he loves him but he can’t.
“Just tell me something Red. Was it ever real? Did you love me? Or was it just another punishment for you? Because if you love someone, really love them, you don’t try to change them.”
Matt loses control as the Devil takes over. “No. Did you think I could ever love someone like you Frank? You’re a murderer. God, it's a damn good thing your family can’t see what you’ve become.”
Stick whispers how proud he is. And Matt wants to scream.
Frank doesn’t react to the poke at his family, because he agrees. He knows that he shouldn’t be here. Red deserves someone better.
Frank swallows and huffs out a short laugh, “Ya wanna know something Red? I would’ve never tried to change you.” Frank pauses and Matt listens to his heart, which tells him he’s telling the truth. And Matt breaks just a bit more. Frank continues, “I loved you for you Altar Boy. But I can’t do this anymore.”
Frank smiles and brings his hand to Matt’s face, “I wish you the best, and I hope one day you can stop punishing yourself and those around you. Goodbye, Matt.” Frank takes his hand away and leaves.
Matt is frozen, listening to him walk away, and when he’s gone, he sobs. An ugly thing, his shoulders shaking, tears and snot running down his face. He whimpers out, “I’m sorry Frank. I love you too. Please don’t leave me.”