Chapter 15
As you ride off, you try to keep your face as expressionless as possible. You don’t want Bill to have the satisfaction of knowing how broken you are. You sit beside him in the wagon, albeit at a safe, platonic distance. You clasp your hands tightly in your lap. Luckily Otto was asleep as you dropped him off. You aren’t sure how much of the journey he will remember when he wakes up, or how much of anything that’s happened today he will remember. Bill told the nurse that the two of you had simply found Otto in the desert and brought him in, as a good samaritan ought. The nurse seemed to believe you. You hope Otto will believe her when he awakens since by that time you and Bill will likely already be married.
Ugh, you, Bill’s Wife. Y/N Anderson. You shudder to think of it, and yet, you don’t regret your decision. The idea that perhaps Otto is happy somewhere, at peace in the great, lonely desert. Being Bill’s wife won’t be that bad, right? Who are you kidding, of course it will be.
“Bill?” you pipe up.
“Yes dear?” he answers, eyes fixed on the road. Ugh, his words make you shudder. But you can’t object now, can you?
“I hope it’s alright for me to continue helping my father out at the saloon, at least until he can find some part-time help?”
“Oh, that’s no problem, so long as it’s temporary,” he agrees. “I would like a child sometime in the next year, so you’ll have to keep that in mind.” You fight back the bile you feel rising in your throat, saying nothing. You’re nowhere near ready to have kids…
But wait, why should you say nothing? You don’t want this! Otto is safe now in the hospital. Why should you submit to Bill, become sidelined in your own story? You almost lost Otto once, paralyzed by inaction. You don’t want to lose him again. Hell, you won’t lose him again. Fuck Bill, fuck your dad, fuck everyone’s expectations. You don’t have to be what everyone else wants you to be, you never did. What’s stopping you from living just like Otto? Riding free, sleeping under the stars…
“Hey Bill?” you say meekly, looking up at him and turning up the charm.
“Yes, my pet?” he says with a smirk. Ugh, how does he know that was what Otto called you? What a little freak. And to think you were going to roll over and let him have his way with you…
“I need to, um, take a break. I need to use the restroom,” you say shyly, feeling a slight blush come to your cheeks. You bat your eyes innocently as Bill inspects you.
“Oh, I see. I’ll give you some privacy then,” he agrees politely. Perfect.