He stood there. Just stood there. Not saying a word. The room was silent, tension thick and the only noise was from you anxiously tugging at the sleeve of your sweatshirt. His sweatshirt, that only he could hear. You bit your lip when you met his tear filled eyes again, trying to hold on your own. He was still wearing his suit, covered in rips and scrapes. His mask thrown somewhere on your bedroom floor. He looked terrible, his hair was a mess from running his shaking hands through it, a nervous habit, his cheek had a long cut and his face red from arguing.
You hated seeing him like this, he came through your bedroom window hurt. You were already having such a horrible day that your temper was short, and you started something you shouldn’t have. He was Spider-Man. You can’t have one without the other and you were selfish to think otherwise. You first met him as Spider-Man. You fell in love with him as Spider-Man, before that first time he took the mask off.
You knew he could hear your heartbeat. You desperately tried to slow it by taking long, slow breaths, but the way he was just standing there kept making you panic. But it was your own fault. You knew he hated arguing with you, the boy was so sweet he never even raised his voice.
“What do you want from me?” The way he pleaded made your chest tight. Your throat was sore and a headache was poking at the back of your eye.
You shoved him into a corner. You knew that. And it made you feel like shit. He sounded so defeated and desperate, he wanted so badly to give you everything you ever wanted. He was the best boyfriend you could’ve ever wanted and you don’t know why you snapped at him.
When you don’t answer, he closes his eyes and takes a breath, running his gloved hands over his face. He looked so stressed.
“Baby-”
“I’m-i‘m sorry, please,” you finally said, sounding just as broken as him.
“Y/n.” You flinch. He never said your full name.
“Forget about it, I shouldn’t have said anything.” You sit down onto your bed. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed, turning around and facing the window. A thought of just leaving passes through his mind. You knew what he was thinking as you stared at the white spider on his back, your heart broke.
But he would never give up on you. He would never leave so easily.
His hands fell to his sides and, after a few more moments, he kneeled in front of you. You closed your eyes, letting the tears fall freely down your pink cheeks. They stung.
You had to take a shaky breath when he grabbed your wrists and moved your hands to cup his face. It was grounding, a silent calming. You ran your thumb over the cut on his cheek, his eye twitched but he didn’t say anything.
“Please, please talk to me,” he whispered. He moves his hands from your wrists to on top of your hands, taking them off of his face and interlocking your fingers. His hands were shaking. “I hate arguing. You know I hate arguing.”
He wasn’t looking up to meet your gaze, his eyes stayed fixed on your hands. He looked so small, you thought.
“I don’t want you to leave me.” He gripped your hands tighter and looked at you, his eyebrows raised.
“You know I would never do that,” he shook his head quickly. His hands were shaking even more. You suddenly got a twist in your stomach.
“I’m terrified of losing you,” you whispered, almost too quietly. But you knew he would hear it very clearly. You draw in a shaky breath. “You were late today.”
“I know I’m sorry-” he moved closer, resting his arms on your thighs.
“You were late and then you came and you were hurt and your suit has blood in it,” you rambled, eyes looking anywhere but his. “And I couldn’t help but think you were out there somewhere in an alley bleeding out!”
You saw him squeeze his eyes shut and his grip on your hands got tighter.
“And I know I shouldn’t of said…” you paused. “I know I shouldn’t have said I wished you weren’t Spider-Man. It’s who you are and I love that about you, Peter.”
You tried to pull his arm but he wouldn’t budge.
“I put you in a corner. You shouldn’t have to choose. I met you as Spider-Man. I didn't even know you before, I knew what I signed up for.”
“No…no,” he said. He let go of your hand and stood up. The knot if your chest tightened even more before you realized he had gotten up from kneeling to sit beside you on the bed. “It’s my fault, I’m sorry for scaring you, I don't mean to, it's just…you had every right to flip out on me I understand.”
“This is hard,” you whispered, laying your head on his shoulder. He flinched slightly. He must’ve hurt his shoulder too. But he laid his head on top of yours anyways.
You never imagined yourself dating a superhero. It was the toughest thing you’ve ever done.
You placed a hand on his chest. His heart was beating like crazy.
“I’m scared that one day I’ll see you really hurt on the news or I’ll get a call from Mr. Stark saying you’re dying in the medbay.” He stiffened for a second. He knew it was a very real possibility, especially with him being an avenger now.
“Yeah, well Tony’s like a helicopter parent, he’d call you if I came in with a scratch. Did you know he put a baby monitor protocol in my suit?” He laughed slightly. So did you, but it just made more tears come.
You both sat in silence for a while, tears drying and the tension and frustration from arguing in the room was gone.
“I love you,” he said, cupping your face with one hand and running his thumb across your jaw line. You realized he was crying again by the way his shoulder was shaking. You felt his uneven breathing.
“I love you too.”
“You know I’d never give up on us right? I know it gets hard sometimes but…” you wrapped your arms around his waist and he lays back on your bed.
Heartbeats steady as you place your head on his chest and he closes his eyes.
“Good thing your family isn’t home,” he said.
“Yeah, they’d probably be very shocked to see me arguing with Spider-Man,” you giggled. He pulled you on top of him with ease, sometimes you forgot about his strength, and pulled you in for a kiss. It was light and sweet, but he seemed to forget he was thrown off of a 10 story building by a giant lizard, and groaned at the weight on his chest.
“Let’s get you out of that suit, huh?” You laughed as you stood up and offered him your hand, which of course he accepted.
He smiled as you pulled him up.
“Yeah, yeah in a second,” he said, snaking his hands around your waist and kissing you again, this time with more passion. You patted his chest with a smile, the suit falling to the floor.
“I mean it spider boy.” He rolled his eyes and let you lead him into the bathroom.
At least everything was fine now.
Right?