The Dummies
When Peter pointed for the first at Tony and screamed ‘da’, the man was beyond excited. Then, Peter looked at his bath toy, which was a duck, and screamed ‘dad’. Then came Happy, and Rhodey, and Pepper, and the main man, and all of them were ‘da’ to Peter. That’s how Tony discovered that, as smart as his son was, he wouldn’t be able to talk before babbling.
So the babbling phase began, and Peter babbled at anything. He would be lying on the ground and babbling to the ceiling. Tony would sit with him in the couch and give him a rattle, and Peter would challenge it by talking louder than the sound it made.
The first word comes when Peter reaches 11 months old. They’re both in the lab, Tony trying to finish the sketch for the conference in Vancouver and Peter busy in his playpen with some colorful blocks. He’s close to Tony, he’s never too far. But in the lab, he always likes to have the baby close, since it’s full of dangerous and tiny things.
Behind him, Dum-E is trying to make a smoothie for Tony, or maybe a bottle for Peter. Whatever he’s trying, it’s failing. And that has Peter invested in the situation, who is babbling at the robot every time he moves. Then, Dum-E actually pours oil in the bottle, and Peter bursts out laughing.
Tony is almost too busy marveling at the sweet sound to hear the word. But he does, because he always notices everything about his son.
“Dummy!” Peter points a red block at Dum-E, who turns around and beeps happily. “Dummy!”
“Did – FRIDAY?”
“Dummy!”
“It seems that young master has just said his first word, boss. Although it’s not a very common word for infants, I believe he’s talking about Dum-E”
Peter keeps point at the robot, who has noticed that everytime he pours something in the bottle he receives a praise from Peter. Maybe it’s not a praise, only Peter babbling very similar words to the actual name. He tries to convince himself, the same way Peter calls everything and anything ‘da’.
The thing is, next time they’re in the lab Tony throws a screwdriver and hits his head against the table when picking it up, and Peter breaks into a loud laugh saying ‘dummy’ again and again. Then, it’s Happy who slips with one of Peter’s toys while they’re preparing dinner, and Peter points once more at the source of his happiness and screams dummy.
He doesn’t find funny at all that his son first’s word is basically a swear one, and that now that he finds anything funny, he screams Dummy at the top of his lungs. When Pepper finds out, once she’s content with the sermon about not swearing in front of Peter, she can’t help a fond smile on her lips.
“Come on, it’s not that bad” Rhodey chuckles, bouncing Peter up and down while Tony tries to work. “I mean, it’s a swear word and you shouldn’t take him to kindergarten until he understands that he shouldn’t say it. But he thinks you’re funny, and your robot too”
“And he thought the robot was more important that his dad too” Tony scoffs, giving a side glance to Peter, who is looking at him with sleepy eyes. “I just – I can’t believe it. The only thing he does is to fuck up things, and my precious son decides to gift him his first word. Just like that”
“Are you gonna say uncle Rhodey next, Pete?” the man tries to catch Peter’s attention, but the baby is looking at his father. “Your daddy is a dummy, you know? You could just call him that instead of daddy. Media will have a –“
“Dada!” Peter screams, interrupting the conversation and making both adults jump in surprise. “Dada! Dummy, dada!”
Peter is trying to escape the prison of his uncle’s arms by throwing himself to the ground, almost not giving Tony enough time to catch him. When he does, Peter adapts his tiny body so that he can hide his face in his father’s neck, close his eyes and grip the hem of his shirt. It’s nap time, and maybe Tony should have been more alert on Peter’s need.
Still, as Rhodey cracks a laugh at the situation and Peter drools all over his new brand shirt, he feels his heart warming up at Peter’s new word.