Exile

Behind that long and lonely trenched line 

To which men come and go, where brave men die, 

There is a yet unmarked and unknown shrine, 

A broken plot, a soldier’s cemetery. 

There lie the flower of youth, the men who scorn’d

To live (so died) when languished Liberty:

Across their graves flowerless and unadorned

Still scream the shells of each artillery.

—“A Soldier’s Cemetery” by John William Streets

Steve had almost fallen asleep when a shrill cry pulled him from his bed. He stumbled in the dark and stubbed his toe on the crib. “Dammit! Ow!”

Peggy’s big brown eyes were filled with tears. Her lip trembled. 

“Hey, baby girl,” Steve crooned. He lifted her out of the crib. 

Peggy laid her head against his chest. 

“We’ve talked about this, Pegs.” Steve sighed. 

He’d worked all day and well into the night. He’d walked home with a fussy baby. Once they were home, he’d looked through his empty fridge and his empty pantry until he found something he could whip up for dinner.  

Peggy got most of their meager meal. After all, she was a growing baby. 

Steve’s next battle was getting Peggy into the bath. She hated bath time. They’d both ended up soaked and sobbing. 

Finally, Steve had wrangled her into her night-owl onesie. He spent the next hour rocking her, singing to her, telling her stories until her eyes drooped close. Peggy was usually an easy baby unless it came to bath time or nap time. Once she was settled, he’d spent the next few hours washing dishes, doing laundry, and tidying up their apartment. He was dead on his feet by the time he finally fell on top of his bed. Cue, Peggy. 

Steve blinked back tears of exhaustion. 

The clock blinked back at him, 5:30 a.m. 

“Breakfast?” Steve asked. He needed to go grocery shopping tonight. 

But at least there was coffee and apple sauce. 

Steve sipped his coffee hoping that the caffeine would keep him going the rest of the day. 

Peggy was already covered in apple sauce. She giggled as she smushed some on his face. 

“C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up,” Steve said. He picked her up. 

Peggy whined. 

“I know, doll. But you’re covered in apple sauce. Sides, we can’t go to work in our PJs.”

The walk to the Stark Tower usually wasn’t that bad. But today, they were running late and low on sleep. 

Steve clocked in and headed towards the elevator. 

“Good morning, Mr. Rogers,” J.A.R.V.I.S.’s voice called out. 

“Morning, Jar,” Steve replied. 

The elevator doors dinged open. 

“Stevie, my boy!” Howard greeted excitedly. 

“How’s my favorite patient?” Steve asked. 

Howard waved him over. His hair was askew, his glasses were hanging off of his face, and his face was covered in soot. “Excellent!”

Steve chuckled. “Experiment go well?”

“Well, not exactly,” Howard admitted. 

“Have you had breakfast?” Steve asked. 

Howard paused. He was brilliant, but he often forgot the simplest things. 

“I’ll whip something up,” Steve said. 

“Make something for yourself,” Howard ordered. He made a silly face at Peggy. “I’ll take the little miss.” After all, he was the closest thing Peggy had to a grandparent. 

Steve started on breakfast listening as Howard hummed an old thirties song. 

The elevator dinged and the air soured with the scent of smoke and oil. 

Steve sighed. This was the worst part about this job: specifically, Tony Stark. 

Tony glared at his father. “I pay this guy to babysit you.”

Howard sighed. “Steven does an excellent job.”

“And yet, you’re the one doing the babysitting,” Tony drawled. 

“Good morning, Mr. Stark,” Steve said quietly. 

Tony huffed. “At least there’s breakfast.”

Steve’s stomach clenched as Tony took the plate that he’d made for himself. 

Howard handed Peggy back. Sadness marred his normally jovial features. 

“It’d do you well to remember that the only reason you still have a job is that dear old Dad won’t let me fire you.” Tony smirked. 

Steve knew that better than most. 

Howard frowned. “Steve’s the only nurse who can handle me.”

Tony scoffed. 

“A-Are they really shutting down Shield?” Steve asked. He immediately wished that he hadn’t said anything. 

Tony glared at him. “Not that it's any of your business—”

“It is his business,” Howard snapped. “He named his daughter after your mother.”

“And that makes him family,” Tony said sarcastically. 

“You know very well what makes him family!” Howard growled. 

Tony growled. He dropped the last of Steve’s breakfast into the trash and stormed out of Howard’s suite.

Howard sighed. He handed Steve a piece of toast. 

“That’s for you—” Steve tried. 

Howard shook his head.

Steve couldn’t help it. He was starving! 

“I don’t know where I went wrong with him,” Howard said. “But I’m sorry that you’ve paid the price.”

“It’s better this way,” Steve insisted because it was. 

Tony had been a colossal mistake, but that mistake had left him with the best thing in his life. 

“You look dead on your feet,” Howard said. “Little Miss, and me’ll watch a movie.”

Steve shook his head. “It’s my job—”

“Get some sleep,” Howard said softly. 

Steve woke slightly refreshed to the smell of pizza. 

Howard grinned at him. “Grab a slice.”

“You really shouldn’t have,” Steve said. 

“You won’t let me take care of you any other way,” Howard said. 

“We don’t need charity,” Steve insisted. He was doing just fine on his own. 

Howard sighed. “It ain’t charity when it’s for family.”

“I can’t,” Steve whispered. “I can’t give him a way in.”

“Steve—”

“No, I can’t risk it.” Steve looked at Peggy. She was gumming on some watermelon, perfectly unaware. 

Tony had been adamant that he didn’t want to be a part of Peggy’s life, but if he ever changed his mind, the courts would always side with him. 

Steve was an unmated Omega whose health was consistently failing. Because of his health, had trouble holding down a job. His apartment was practically a shoebox. It didn’t matter that he was doing his best for Peggy, that he loved her more than anything. If Tony Stark wanted her, Steve didn't stand a chance... 

Tony was an Avenger. He was a billionaire. He owned an entire tower. The only thing going against him was that he refused to acknowledge Peggy as his own. 

Howard squeezed his shoulder. “Just don’t forget to take care of yourself.”

Steve’s smile was crooked. He’d been taking care of himself since his mother died. 

The next few hours were spent trying to clean up after Howard's explosions. 

Feet aching, Steve headed towards his next job. 

The VA didn’t pay much, but they were always understaffed. 

“Afternoon, Sam.” Steve waved at his only friend. 

“Heya, Stevie.” Sam ruffled his blond hair. “The Howlies are waiting for ya.”

“Please, tell me they haven’t had coffee—”

“And donuts.” Sam grinned. 

Steve groaned. He could hear their singing from the lobby! 

The Howlies were a hoot, but they were decidedly nuttier when they had sugar and caffeine. 

Falsworth, Dum Dum, Frenchie, Happy, Pinky, and Jim were singing at the tops of their lungs. “Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run. Bang, bang, bang, bang goes the farmer’s gun. Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run, run. Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run. Don’t give the farmer his fun, fun, fun. He’ll get by without his rabbit pie. So run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run.”

Steve couldn’t help but laugh. 

“There’s our captain!” Falsworth saluted Steve. 

“There’s my band of merry brothers.” Steve saluted him back. “I hear someone made the mistake of giving you old geezers sugar and caffeine.”

Dum Dum laughed. “Nah, we brought our own!” 

“Let me see that bébé!” Frenchie demanded. 

Peggy giggled. She loved her crazy uncles. 

At Sam’s suggestion, Steve started bringing Peggy to work. 

The veterans adored her. 

“Ok, let’s get started,” Steve said. “How’re we doing?”

“I’ll start, boss," Dum Dum said. “You know how long it’s been since I’ve seen my kids?”

The mirth slowly died down. 

The Howlies had fought for their country, but their country had forgotten their sacrifice. 

“How long?” Steve asked. He hated this part of his job. He'd give anything to see his ma again. 

“Not since two Christmas’s,” Dum Dum said. “They keep saying they can’t afford the tickets, but I finally got that Initgram thing. They posted pictures of their trip to Hawaii.”

“Damn, youngins," Falsworth growled. “My girl won’t leave me with the grandkids. Says I’m too old to watch after em.”

Happy sighed. “I-I had a dream last night.”

They all waited. 

“Saw Sarge,” Happy whispered. “Clear as day.”

The Howlies bowed their heads. 

Their unit had been captured by Hydra. They had been tortured and starved. And they’d only survived because of one man’s bravery. 

Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes had single-handedly launched an escape that had destroyed Hydra's base and turned the course of the war. 

But the Howlies remembered him as their sarge who had sacrificed his life for theirs. 

“I know it’s hard,” Steve said softly. “You lived through an experience that no one else can understand. You didn't come back whole, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t matter.”

Dum Dum forced a smile. 

“I want you to try to reach out to your families. Even if it’s just on Instagram,” Steve said. “I know that it hasn’t worked in the past, but you can’t give up on family.”

“Guess, we’ll try, Cap,” Falsworth said. 

“I also want you to do something for yourselves. I don’t care what it is, even if it's drinking a pot of coffee or a box of donuts.”

The Howlies chuckled. 

“Report back to me on how it goes.” Steve smiled. He loved looking after Howard, but the Howlies were some of the best men he knew. 

Walking back to his apartment, Steve squinted. 

The streets felt darker than usual. 

Peggy was fussy. She was building up to a full-blown meltdown. 

Steve shifted her in his arms. “I know, doll. But we gotta get groceries.”

This market was one of the few places open this late. It was dingy, and most of the food was stale, but at least it was cheap. Steve grabbed rice, coffee, bread, apple sauce, and some more baby soap. He hadn't gotten his paycheck yet, so he breathed a sigh of relief when his card was approved. 

The lights flickered as he walked back outside. Steve shivered. He hated walking home this late. He’d almost made it when he heard a scuffle in the alley. He’d spent enough time getting beat on to recognize a fight. Well, not really a fight. A gang of kids was kicking on a homeless man. 

“Hey, leave him alone!” Steve growled. 

The kids turned on him with twisted smiles. 

Steve gulped. He really needed to learn to stay out of trouble. 

One of the bigger ones shoved him hard and grabbed his bag of groceries. 

Peggy started screaming.

Before they could do worse, the homeless man moved like a demon. Suddenly, he stood between Steve and his attackers. 

Thankfully, like most bullies, the kids were cowards once someone stood up to em.

Steve wondered why he hadn’t stood up for himself. “Y-You alright?” 

The man turned to look at him. "You shouldn’t have interfered.”

“I couldn’t turn a blind eye,” Steve said. “I-It was the right thing to do.”

“Thanks,” the man quipped. "Though you wouldn’t have been much help.”

“I’m tougher than I look,” Steve said. 

The homeless man chuckled. “Sure, kid.” He held out his hand.

Steve gripped his hand and was pulled to his feet. Digging through his pockets, he found a few bucks. “It’s not much, but you could get yourself a hot meal.”

“You’ve helped me enough.” The man tried to give it back. 

Steve squeezed his hand. “Take the help when you can get it.”

“T-Thank you,” he whispered as if he’d not known kindness for a very long time. 

“Least I can do,” Steve said. He wished he could do more.

The Asset watched as the Omega trudged back to his apartment. He’d noticed him before, but he’d never imagined that the slip of a thing would try to defend him. 

The Omega had gotten into a fight he couldn't win. He'd given what little he had... Why?

The Asset was used to cruelty. He didn’t know what to do with kindness. 

The alley was dark and cold. But nothing was as dark as the cell Hydra had kept him in. Nothing was as cold as being frozen alive. Shivering, he watched as the Omega’s apartment blinked awake. He couldn’t help but wonder if he could repay the Omega somehow. He wouldn’t know where to begin. 

***

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