Ugh, It's /That/ Guy
Loki had expected this, (Fine, he concedes, he had not anticipated being ambushed by Stark) he had known that he would be used as some diplomatic bride.
Still, he loathed it.
So, after making his way to a small alcove balcony, he finally relaxed.
Apparently, he relaxed too much.
“Needed some air, huh?” A voice said from behind him. Loki spun around to put a knife to the throat of the speaker, then internally cursed the Norns when he realized who it was.
“Can’t really blame me.” Loki said, his voice crawling with contempt. Stark snorted, ignoring the blade at his throat.
“No, I can’t.” Stark amended, lowering the blade from his throat. Loki let him, content in the fact that Stark was helpless to attack without the suit. “The people here are terrible. It’s like Alldaddy over there invited the worst of the worst.” The short man said, rolling his eyes and walking forward to sit on the thick marble of the balcony’s banister.
“See that man over there?” Stark asked, pointing shamelessly at an older man who was sipping champagne. “He’s an outright ass.”
“And you are different?” Loki muttered, but Stark zeroed in on his words.
“I don’t molest fourteen-year-olds, for one thing.” Stark said, carelessly. Loki would’ve choked on his drink if not for extensive training.
What the fuck?
“Oh! And that woman,” Stark said, this time motioning to a thirty-something blonde. “Has a daughter, but I think they’ve only met like once. The kid’s fifteen, by the way.”
Stark kept going, listing off scandals and ongoing mishaps.
At one point, Loki had become even more disgusted by this arranged marriage.
“Then what, pray tell, do you suppose I do?” Loki drawled, expecting Stark to smirk or say something like ‘whatever you get, you deserve.’
Instead the man shrugged. “I mean, running away worked for me. Course, I had some outside help and shit because Howard wouldn’t let me leave his side, but it could still work.”
Oh. Oh. Loki hadn’t thought that Stark had done something like this.
“I don’t exactly have any outside help.” Loki sneered, acting like it was at Stark but internally meaning it for himself. The other man ignored it, quiet and thinking.
Then, “It’s not ideal, but I could help out. I’m actually not just here with Thor. Something about.. stocks and money and Steve not being an option. I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention.”
Loki stilled.
“Anyway, my point is that I’ll offer or.. whatever shit. Open marriage, no ties, all you gotta do is deal with the insufferability of living near me.”
“Are you implying.. that I pick you and it’s over? I don’t have to.. do anything?” Loki asked, doubting. Stark looked appalled.
“Dude, what the fuck? No, oh my-” Stark buried his face in his hands. “I’m offering what I would’ve wanted. Of course, fourteen-year-old me and me now are different, so I made a few changes.”
Loki nodded slowly.
This could work.
“Alright, I’ll say yes to an… agreement.” Loki said, and Stark nodded.
“Mutually beneficial. No overpowering side, equal. Like… partners.” Stark said, factually, like it wasn’t the best deal Loki could’ve hoped for.
Loki summoned a blank paper and two quills, and the two on the balcony decided on a contract.
- Equal power balance
- No intentional injuring of other person.
- Live in the Avenger Tower
- Provide the necessary items for the partner.
Or, that was the basics. Loki signed, and Stark did as well.
“So, Stark-” Loki said, looking out at the crowd inside.
“Nope, it’s Tony. People only call me Stark if they don’t like me or they’re mad.” Stark said, picking up the contract and handing it to Loki.
“I don’t like you.” Loki said, taking the paper.
“Yeah, that’s fair.” Stark smirked, opening the doors to the ballroom. “I have to make sure my team isn’t embarrassing themselves too much, see ya.” Stark ended, waving bye to Loki as he branched off to find the rest of the Avengers.
…………………………………………………………………….
That’s how Loki ended up dressed in formal wedding attire two days later.