saudade

“Good morning, how do you feel today?”, Peter asked as Harry entered the living room.

“Good, I think. I just need a coffee to get some energy.” He yawned and rubbed his eyes sleepily.

“No caffeine today. Maybe tomorrow but not until we know if your head is okay”, Peter instructed and poured some juice into a glass to give it to him.

“Okay, Mom”, Harry said in mock annoyance. Actually, he thought it was cute when Peter was protective of him. He secretly enjoyed it.

Harry sat down at the table, and they had breakfast together.

“Is it okay for you when I let you alone for some time? Mr. Jameson awaits me and the pictures I took yesterday but I’m not really sure in what condition you are”, Peter said as he finished eating.

“I’m fine, Pete. You’re good at taking care of me. Sure, you can go. I don’t wanna be the reason you get fired again.”

Peter hesitated. “But you have to promise me you won’t do anything strenuous.”

“I’ll do the dishes, clean a bit and go to the grocery store. Our fridge is almost empty. Then I’ll do some work for university”, Harry explained his plans for today.

“Just don’t do too much, okay?”

“I promise”, Harry said, “You should better hurry to The Daily Bugle before you get fired.”

“You’re right. See you later.” Peter kissed him quickly before he left the flat.

When Peter arrived at Jameson’s office, he has been eagerly awaited.

“Do you have new pictures of Spider-Man?”, Jameson asked immediately.

Peter handed him the few he took yesterday and some he took earlier ago. “I also took pictures from the OSCORP Unity Festival.”

“Give them to me.” Peter handed them over. “Maybe I can use them for tomorrow’s print. Look at today’s first page. Spider-Man and the Green Goblin. Made it up myself. Do you like it? These weirdos all have names now.”

“Mr. Jameson, Spider-Man wasn’t attacking the city. That’s slander”, Peter tried to defend himself.

“It’s not. Slander is spoken. In print, it’s libel.”

Peter opened his mouth to respond, but Jameson interrupted him. “Are you his lawyer or what? Let him sue me and get rich like a normal person.”

Peter knew there was no point in discussion, so he got up to leave as the windows broke and the Green Goblin himself flew in.

“Jameson, you slime”, the Goblin said and grabbed Jameson by his neck. “Who’s the photographer who takes the pictures of Spider-Man?”

Peter was in trouble, he knew it. Jameson would betray him. But to his surprise, he didn’t.

“I don’t know who he is. The pictures come by mail”, Jameson gasped.

Peter used the fact that he hasn’t been discovered to his advantage and ran outside to put on his Spider-Man suit.

“He’s the one who can bring me to him”, the Goblin said when he was within earshot again.

“I don’t know who he is”, Jameson insisted.

“You’re useless.” The Goblin prepared to punch Jameson, but Peter interrupted him.

“Set him down”, Peter ordered.

The Goblin turned around. “Speaking of the devil.”

“I knew you two were in this together”, Jameson exclaimed, and Peter started to regret helping him.

Peter stuffed Jameson’s mouth with a bunch of spider webs. The next second, he fell to the ground.

As Peter regained his senses, his brain felt like it was wrapped in cotton, and he didn’t know where he was. He couldn’t even move.

“No, you’re not dead. At least not yet”, the Goblin said, “You and I are not so different.”

“I’m not like you. You’re a murderer. We have nothing in common”, Peter whispered. His voice didn’t feel like his own. What had the Goblin done to him?

“Well, I chose my path, and you chose the way of the hero. The people of this city will hate you sooner or later anyways. It’s just a matter of time. Why bother?”

“Because it’s right”, Peter insisted, trying to move but failing.

“We’re exceptional. I could easily kill you right now but I’m offering you a choice: join me”, the Goblin said, “Imagine what we could accomplish together. What we could create – or even better – what we could destroy. Think about it.”

Within the next seconds, the Goblin was gone, and Peter could move again. This conversation was the final proof that guy was insane, but Peter couldn’t stop thinking about his words because the voice was so familiar to him.

After Harry washed the dishes, cleaned their flat and went to the grocery store, he decided to pay his father a visit because he hadn’t seen him since his last inspection and the fact that he didn’t show up to a festival of his own company didn’t sit right with him. Something must have happened. His father has always put OSCORP before Harry and himself. He took his key and opened the door to his old home. “Dad, are you there?” No response. “Bernard?” Still no response. That was weird.

Harry went upstairs to check if his father was in his office and when he didn’t find him there, he searched in the big living room but there was also no sight of his father. The last possibility that came to his mind was the smaller living room next to his father’s room. He spent a lot of time in there. There his father was – lying on the floor.

Harry ran towards him and knelt next to him. He shook him gently. “Dad, are you all right?”

“Harry?”, his father asked.

“Yes, I’m here, Dad.” He helped his father to sit up. “What are you doing on the floor? Are you okay? Can I help you?” Harry never saw his dad like that, and he was deeply worried about him.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember.” His father paused as if he had a flashback but then a tear ran down his cheek. “I can’t remember.”

Harry pulled him into a hug. “Hey, Dad, it’s okay.” He was a bit scared to see his father like that. He’s never seen him crying before so he tried his best to comfort him. “We could call a doctor to check on you. I’m worried.”

His father shook his head. “No, I’m fine.”

“You’re obviously not fine. I’ll make an appointment”, Harry insisted.

“Don’t you dare!”, Norman yelled at him.

Harry involuntarily flinched. “I- I was just trying to help you.”

“I don’t need your help. You’re incapable of doing something useful.”

Harry swallowed and cleared his throat. He prayed his voice won’t reveal the hurt this sentence caused him. “Well, I’ll make you a cup of tea then. Just stay here on the sofa. And you should eat something.”

He went downstairs to the kitchen where he made the tea and some sandwiches for his father. Later, he would ask Peter if it’s okay for him if his father spends Thanksgiving with them. Maybe it would distract him from his worries. Everybody needs a break once in a while.

Like Harry had instructed, his father was sitting on the sofa. He handed him the cup of tea and the plate with sandwiches. Harry sat down next to him.

“You’re working too much again, aren’t you?”, Harry asked carefully. He didn’t want to risk another anger attack.

“Just the normal amount of work. The company’s booming.”

‘The normal amount of work’ meant as much as ‘I spend every bit of my free time in the company and if I’m lucky I’ll get some sleep every now and then’.

“Dad, please, don’t get mad at me but Mr. Fargas said you had to tell me something about the company. He indicated that things aren’t going that well”, Harry said quietly.

“Max is a liar and a traitor. OSCORP is at its highest point”, his father countered.

“But why weren’t you at the festival yesterday?”

“I don’t have time for such party things. I’m a busy man with a lot of work. One day you’ll understand that.” The food and the tea let him appear much healthier than before.

“Do you feel better now?”

“Yes, I do. Thank you, Harry.”

“No more work for you today, okay? I want you to rest”, Harry instructed, and he could see how unwilling he was but then his father nodded. “Good. I’ll call you in the evening or tomorrow in the morning.” He said goodbye to his father and walked back home.

He found Peter sitting on the sofa.

“You look tired”, Harry said.

“Thanks, you, too.” Peter made room so Harry could sit next to him. “How are you now?”

“My head’s fine, don’t worry.”

They were lying on the sofa in silence. Some quiet moments were rare since Peter was occupied with his job for The Daily Bugle and his duties as Spider-Man and Harry was busy with his work for university.

“What do you think about spending Thanksgiving with your aunt, my dad and maybe MJ if she wants to?”, Harry asked while Peter played with his curls.

“That would be lovely. I wouldn’t want to leave Aunt May all alone at home during the holidays”, Peter responded but Harry did not really feel convinced by his boyfriend’s response.

“Then what’s the problem? You don’t seem very enthusiastic about my suggestion. Is it my father?”

Peter sighed. “You won’t tell him about us, will you?”

“Pete, you know this is complicated”, Harry sighed and sat up.

“You’re ashamed of me, aren’t you? You fear that I won’t fit his standards.” Peter let go of Harry and sat up as well.

“Ashamed?” Harry was shocked that Peter could think of something horrible like that. “I’d never be ashamed of you. I love you, Pete. I want to tell him about us, I really do, but…”

“But what? I’m tired of acting like there isn’t something between us when he is around. Don’t you understand how much it hurts me?”, Peter interrupted him. Finally, he said it. He didn’t mean to say it that harshly, but he couldn’t stay silent anymore.

“I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you”, Harry muttered and avoided to look into Peter’s face. He struggled to find words. “I’m scared of his reaction. Your aunt is so accepting and open to it while my dad constantly complains about people who don’t fit his mind setting. He’s the only family I’ve got left and I don’t want to disappoint him again. I don’t want him to hate me for who I am, can you understand that?”

His eyes filled with tears as he remembered the incident only a few hours ago when his father yelled at him for no reason. How much would he hate him if he knew his secret?

“Harry” Peter’s tone turned softer. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. I know it’s hard for you. I just wish it wasn’t like that.”

“I know.” He reached out for Peter’s hand and felt the relief inside him when Peter allowed him to take his hand. “But that doesn’t mean you’re less worthy or important to me. I don’t want you to ever think like that again. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and nobody can change that.”

Peter nodded. “And it’s just one afternoon so I could handle that.”

“Really?”, Harry asked in surprise.

“I know you two have a complicated relationship and I want you to be happy. I understand you need time.” Peter tried to smile but Harry didn’t notice that the smile hadn’t reached his eyes as he hugged him.