One second, the fight was going just fine. They were slightly outnumbered, and these guys had some serious tech, but Bucky and Sam were like a well-oiled machine. They were able to anticipate one another’s next step, Sam in the air and Bucky on the ground, they practically danced around the five goons looking less like they were in a battle and more like they were part of some bizarre choreographed dance number as the shield bounced off of walls and heads and gracefully between them. Then, the wall started buzzing and a giant cannon-looking gun was rising out of it and aiming straight at Sam who couldn’t seem to avoid it no matter where he moved.
Vibranium can only absorb so much energy you know? A man said laughing as Sam looked at the barrel of the gun in confusion. Bucky was on the other side of the room with someone in a chokehold. He dropped him and ran full speed toward Sam. 220lbs of supersoldier sent him reeling across the room and he was able to stop himself by planting his wings in the ground, sending sparks as they scraped against the concrete floor. Then, something flashed bright and he felt a powerful surge of energy that knocked him down anyway.
When he looked up, he realized Bucky had taken the blast from the gun and it threw him directly into the electrical panel behind him, his body rigid as the power of whatever the hell that was coupled with the electricity that passed through him. Sam screamed and tried to take the gun out with the shield, but it didn’t work. The shield was sent flying back at him. He couldn’t even move toward it, the energy too strong and pushing him back. Finally, it stopped and Bucky slunk to the floor.
“Buck!” Sam yelled running toward him. He leaned over him, searching his face. “C’mon man, please, don’t do this,” He said shaking his shoulders.
He sighed a breath of relief when Bucky slowly blinked awake and stared up at him vacantly. He tilted his head to the side, seemingly studying Sam’s face, his brow scrunched in confusion. Then, suddenly, he was on his feet and launching at the man who had crept behind Sam with a gun, snapping his neck like it was celery, and then quickly taking out each of the remaining guys one by one. Sam could hear their bones snapping like twigs. A few short moments ago, Bucky was fighting these men as though it was an even match, now he was efficiently executing them as though they were nothing more than ants that ruined his picnic.
When they were all on the ground, lifeless, Bucky looked back up at him with that same vacant look and said nothing. He just kept staring, as though he were expecting Sam to say something.
“What the hell man, did that thing just like put you in hyperdrive?” Sam asked, pointing at the gun. Bucky just tilted his head further in confusion. “Bucky?! Hello…” he said, stepping closer and waiving. “Earth to Bucky…”
“Who the hell is Bucky?” he asked squinting.
“That’s not funny man,” Sam said sternly. He was met with a blank stare. “Bu—” he sighed, “do you know who you are?”
“I’m…” he looked around confused, his eyes wide in panic as he stared back at Sam.
“Okay,” Sam said, “do you know who I am?”
“I’m supposed to…keep you safe.” Bucky answered, though it sounded unsure. Sam smiled, at least this was better than when Zemo mind wiped him with the codewords – he wasn’t throwing Sam across the room by his face. He was still Sam’s…partner? “That’s right. We keep each other safe,” he said softly. “What is the last thing you remember?”
Bucky pursed his lips. “Are you asking for my last mission report?”
Damnit, Sam thought. He’d hoped this was just some brief amnesia. But this confirmed his worst fears. Whatever just happened, Sam wasn’t talking to his Bucky right now. He was talking to the Winter Soldier. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, before looking up at Bucky again. “Yes,” he said defeated, “what is your last mission report?”
“July 1981, Panama. Target Omar Efrain Torrijos Herrera. Mission successful. Target exterminated.”
“Ok…and after that?” Sam asked.
“Cold,” he responded looking at his feet. He looked back up at Sam with wide eyes. “Was I…Was I reset?”
“Reset?” Sam asked confused.
“Hurts,” he said pointing at his forehead, “like it does after the chair.”
“The chair?” Sam asked, “I don’t…you never told me details about…what’s the chair?”
“Sometimes I need to be reset. That’s what they call it. They said it’s because I was bad. They put me in the chair. It hurts. And then everything is confusing. Like now.”
Sam walked toward him, wanting to just grab him and hug him and say he was sorry, but stopped himself. He never pushed Bucky to talk about what Hydra did to him. Maybe he just didn’t want to know. He gestured to the wall behind him, “you got hit with that,” he said nodding toward the gun, “and then you crashed into that panel over there and probably got electrocuted.”
Bucky sighed. “So, I was reset…but…not because I was…bad?”
“No…no…you…you were saving me. Whatever the hell that was, I probably wouldn’t have survived it. Thank you.” This made Bucky smile, which made Sam smile. “We need to get out of here…get you checked up,” Sam said reaching for Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky flinched and backed up, putting his arm up like he was shielding himself from a hit. “Hey…woah…its okay,” Sam said softly. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to hurt you.”
Bucky nodded silently and put his arms down, then started following Sam out. “Sir?” he asked.
Sam turned to him. “You can call me Sam…”
“Sam,” Bucky repeated. “Should I engage the clean-up protocols?”
“The…” Sam looked at him as he stared at the dead bodies littering the floor. “No. Leave them.”
“Yes, Sir,” he said before quickly correcting. “Sam.”
“Let’s go Buck,” Sam said.
“Why do you keep calling me that?” he asked.
“It’s your name.” Sam said softly.
“I don’t…I don’t think I have a name.” Bucky said confused.
“You do. You just might take a while to remember it.” Sam signaled to Torres that they were coming out and ready to meet for pick up and the two headed out of the building. Bucky trailed behind Sam silently. It was strange, not having him by his side, complaining about something that went wrong, making fun of Sam, bumping his shoulders against him. Bucky must have picked up the sound of the aircraft approaching before Sam did because suddenly Bucky was grabbing him, using his body to shield Sam’s, and looking up at the sky.
“It’s okay – that’s our ride.” Sam said as he saw the carrier come into view. “Torres – he’s on our side. Okay? Just umm…don’t say anything to him…about…” Sam gestured up and down, “you know.”
Bucky cocked his head to the side in confusion.
“Just don’t say anything to him at all.” Sam clarified and Bucky nodded.
Torres greeted them with a smile that quickly faded when he saw the exasperated look on Sam’s face. “Captain?”
“Our intel was wrong. They had some serious tech…we had to take everyone out. You good to stay around and guard the base a while? I gotta call Hill to sort this all out.”
“Didn’t wear this just cause it looks cool,” Torres responded, gesturing down at the falcon suit.
Sam forced a small smile. “Stay on comms. Let us know if anyone approaches.”
A few hours later, a S.H.I.E.L.D. convoy arrived to take the weapons and deal with the bodies. Usually, Sam would be asking a lot of questions, making sure the fire power wasn’t going to end up in the wrong hands, that the dead would at least be given some proper burial. All he was concerned with was making sure Bucky stayed on the quinjet and no one realized he wasn’t exactly Bucky. He almost failed at that, he realized, as he headed back toward the jet after talking to Hill and saw Torres talking to Bucky, looking frustrated.
“What’s going on?” Sam asked folding his arms, trying to act casual.
“I thought I was finally graduating from single-syllable answers from this guy,” Torres said pointing at Bucky, “but now he’s acting like a damn five-year-old and just completely ignoring me.”
“He’s just in a mood, missed his nap time. You know how the geriatric can get.” Sam said.
Torres shook his head. “Whatever. Let’s get back to the safe house.”
Sam sighed and sat down as Torres walked away to start the journey back to the safehouse just over the boarder in a more friendly territory. Bucky slid closer to Sam’s side so that their thighs and shoulders were pressed close together. Sam was shocked at Bucky’s decision to initiate physical contact and also trying very hard not to acknowledge the way it made his stomach flip a little. “Did I do something wrong?” Bucky whispered.
“No,” Sam answered, placing his hand on Bucky’s thigh. Bucky looked down at it confused but didn’t flinch or pull away. He seemed to slightly relax under the touch.
“You said not to talk to him. I didn’t. I promise.”
“I know, it’s not that. Just a long day.” Sam rubbed his thumb in reassuring circles where it rested on Bucky’s leg.
Bucky stared down at his hand. “Is there anything I can do?”
“Try to get some rest,” Sam said, “maybe it will help you…to remember.”
“Rest?” Bucky asked looking around. Sam could feel him getting tense. “Like in the cold?”
“No. Not that kind of rest. Right here. Just, get comfortable and close your eyes and try to relax.”
Bucky said okay, but it sounded more like a question. Then after a few moments, he started shifting and laid down so that his head was resting in Sam’s lap. This wasn’t exactly what Sam was expecting, but he had told him to get comfortable, so when Bucky looked up for him for reassurance, he nodded smiled softly. It wasn’t long before he noticed Bucky’s breathing even out and his muscles go slack.
A few hours later, Torres was nudging Sam awake. He had a kink in his neck from the way he’d fallen asleep sitting up. He slowly blinked awake confused, to see Torres giving him a knowing look, then looking down at the super soldier sleeping in his lap and shaking his head before walking out on to the field where they had landed.
Sam bounced his knees a little and watched Bucky shuffle, trying to hold on to sleep. Then he brushed his thumb lightly over the stubble on his chin as two big blue eyes started blinking up slowly at him. He tensed in panic, then relaxed when he saw Sam. “Hey sleeping beauty,” Sam said softly.
Bucky blushed, sitting up and looking at his hands. “Sorry.”
“For what?” Sam asked.
“I um…I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I shouldn’t have – I should have asked before I laid-”
“No, its okay. I dozed off too most of the way back. C’mon. Let’s go inside.”
“Where are we?” Bucky asked confused.
“Somewhere safe.” Sam said, standing and reaching his hand out to help Bucky up. Bucky looked at it a moment then grabbbed it but didn’t put any weight into it as he stood and let it drop to his side. He followed Sam into the house closely. Sam headed to the fridge to grab something to drink. When he shut the door, Bucky was suddenly standing right behind him. He walked so quietly Sam didn’t even hear him, and jolted. Bucky started backing away. “Sorry, you just startled me,” Sam said reaching out with a bottle of water in his hand, “are you thirsty?”
Bucky nodded and took the water. “Thank you.” He took a few sips then stared at the bottle, fiddling with the label. “What do we do now?”
“Well, the first thing,” Sam said walking toward one of the rooms that Torres hadn’t already claimed and nodding Bucky to follow him, “is to get out of these clothes and take a shower.” He headed out to grab some towels from the linen closet and walked back not five seconds later to find Bucky completely naked, staring at him. “Oh!” Sam said, turning his eyes to the side and staring at the wall.
“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked.
Sam laughed. “I um…wasn’t expecting…when I said to get out of these clothes I meant, you know, privately.”
“Sorry. I can put them back on.”
“No,” Sam said still trying not to look. “Here,” he said shoving the towels at Bucky. “The bathroom is in there – can you – let me show you how the shower works.”
He walked in first, “this is hot – this is cold,” he said turning the faucet. There’s soap and shampoo and stuff in there already. Um – this one first in your hair, then you wash it, then this one,” he said motioning toward bottles. “And this one for the rest of you.”
Bucky nodded.
“I don’t know if you – do anything special with the arm. Sorry.”
“It’s okay in water. After missions they usually put me under the hose. This one looks nicer.”
Sam tried to hide his disdain for how casually Bucky was recounting the horrific details of his time with Hydra. He stepped away from the shower, trying to avoid looking anywhere but Bucky’s face as he asked him whether he would be okay.
Bucky nodded. “Will you…will you be…can you stay close?”
“Yeah. I’m gonna go grab some clothes for you and then I’ll be right out here the whole time okay. I’ll shower when you’re done, and you can wait out here for me.”
Bucky smiled and walked under the water. Sam left the door open a crack and left. He returned with Bucky’s bag from the jet and took out boxers, sweatpants, and a t-shirt and placed them by the door, along with Bucky’s deodorant and toothbrush. He sat on the bed watching the steam billowing out of the bathroom, growing concerned with how long the shower was taking. “You alright in there?” he called.
The water abruptly shut off and then the door opened, and Bucky was staring at him, dripping wet, and completely naked. “Did you say something?”
“I um—” Sam’s brain was short circuiting as he watched the droplets of water run down Bucky’s abs and down to his—no Sam don’t look down. “Just wanted to make sure you were okay. You were in there a while.”
“Sorry. It was warm.”
Sam smiled, “You can go back if you weren’t done.” Bucky shook his head grabbed his towel and started to dry off. Sam cleared his throat. “Um…you umm…you can shut the door. To get dressed.” Bucky looked at him slightly confused then shut the door, re appearing moments later, his hair still wet and dripping on his t-shirt.
Sam was holding a towel and a bag. “I’m gonna go take a shower, will you be okay for a bit?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Bucky answered, walking toward the bed. “Um Sam, are you sure these are my clothes?” he asked when he turned around.
“Yeah why?” Sam asked.
Bucky looked down and flexed a little. “Why are they so…small?”
Sam had to grab the frame to the door he laughed so hard. “Oh man – when you’re you again, you are not living that down.”
“I don’t get it.” Bucky pouted and sat down.
“Sorry,” Sam said, reaching into his own bag, “here – you can borrow one of my shirts.”
“Thanks,” Bucky said as he caught the shirt. Before Sam had even turned back around, Bucky already had his t-shirt off and was slipping Sam’s on.
As he stood under the water, Sam tried to think about anything that was not Bucky’s naked body. He thought about Carlos working on the docks on a hot, humid day. He thought about that nasty ass alien lizard thing that they fought the month earlier and how bad it reeked when Bucky shot it. Hell, he even thought about what it felt like being snapped out of existence, but it wasn’t working. Then he thought about the fact that he didn’t see Bucky’s naked body. Not really. That wasn’t his Bucky. That wasn’t the sarcastic, stubborn, but charming when he wanted to be pain in the ass that Sam trusted with his life. He wanted that Bucky back. But he also felt guilty because cute wide-eyed puppy dog Bucky was absolutely adorable, and unabashedly honest and open with Sam.
The water started to run cold and Sam realized he must have zoned out. He quickly washed and rinsed off under the now cold water and stepped out, getting dressed before heading back into the bedroom. Bucky was standing by the door to the bedroom. “Whatchya doin?” Sam asked. Bucky looked back at him confused. Sam smiled. “Sorry – I should have told you to…you don’t have to just stand around and wait for me to tell you what to do. If you want to sit on the bed or go to the living room and watch t.v. or something, you can just…do it.”
“Ok.” Bucky said but didn’t move.
“So. What do you want to do?” Sam asked.
Bucky furrowed his brow. “I…want…I…”
Sam could see that he was anxious. “Its okay. Its not a test. Just tell me what you like.”
Bucky looked at his hands. “On the plane. When I was…close to you. I like that. You’re warm.”
“Okay,” Sam said smiling, “and you also used up all the hot water in the shower so I’m sensing a pattern here.” Bucky started to look guilty and Sam clarified, “I’m joking, you didn’t use all the hot water. Actually, usually you tell me to shower first – say these safe houses never have a lot of hot water and you don’t mind cold showers.”
“I hate cold showers.”
Sam shook his head. “Yeah.”
“You’re upset?” Bucky asked.
“No, I just…I wish you were always this honest with me. I mean…when you’re…when you have all your memories.”
Bucky shrugged. “I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about. Just—realizing maybe I’m not as good at reading people as I thought.” Sam smiled. “Pretty sure memories or not…you really do hate cold showers.”
“Not as much as I’d hate for you to have to take one.”
Sam wanted to melt into the floor. Is that why Bucky always insisted Sam shower first? All this time, as much as Sam knew Bucky would always have his back in a fight, he never realized how much he had his back off the battlefield. “Come on, lets go watch something. Hey I know – you love the Wizard of Oz. Maybe that will bring back some memories.”
Sam got them situated on the couch, finding some big, soft blankets in the closet and carrying them over. He took one and draped it around Bucky’s shoulders, and set the other aside because he really wasn’t cold. Bucky was emersed in the movie. If Sam was honest, he wasn’t watching. He was too busy watching Bucky, wondering how long this would last, worrying over what he would do if it was permanent, and thinking maybe he should call someone for help. Ayo maybe. Or someone like Banner. Sam’s not exactly sure what kind of a doctor he is, but he seems to know everything about, well, everything. Maybe he could track down Wanda and have her do some mind stone magic or something. Though perhaps letting someone root around Bucky’s brain like that wouldn’t sit well with him.
Bucky looked up at him smiling when the tin man came on screen. “We’ve watched this together before.”
Sam’s eyes widened. “I…you remember?”
“You said, ‘Look Buck, its you!’ and then…there were kids…they laughed.”
Sam was beaming. “My nephews. Cass and A.J. We watched it with them when you stayed with us in Delcroix. Of all things…that’s what you remember. Me making a stupid joke?”
“I didn’t think it was stupid,” Bucky said tilting his head. “It made me feel…good. I think.”
“Alright, Tin Man,” Sam said smiling, “hey – maybe we just need to oil your joints or something you’ll be all good.”
Bucky laughed. “I don’t know,” he said as he extended his arm and moved it joint by joint the rotated it making a whirring noise, “seems pretty good to me.”
“Show off!” Sam said pushing him a little as they both laughed.
Just then, Torres came out of his room, where he’d stayed since they got back. “When you two are done giggling, I’m starving. Are we ordering food?”
Bucky immediately froze when Torres entered. His expression went blank and he just stared at Sam.
“Um…yeah,” Sam said, “What are you thinking? Trying something local or just sticking to the good ‘ol American fast-food chains?” he asked looking between them.
Bucky just looked at him bewildered. Of course Bucky had no idea what he wanted. Luckily, Torres interjected with “You think there’s a KFC or Popeyes or something nearby? Can’t go wrong with a bucket of chicken.”
“Yeah – uh…” Sam looked at Bucky and quietly said, “you like Popeyes better. Even though it is not real Louisiana food.”
“Really?” Torres said, “What are we five years old? Is he pretending I’m invisible?”
Sam put a hand on Bucky’s knee reassuringly. “He’s not. It’s just been a rough day okay. Buck – can you just tell Torres what you want for dinner?”
Bucky looked at Sam quizzically then turned to Torres, “I want…Popeyes?” he said, turning back to Sam for reassurance. Sam nodded and Bucky smiled and turned his attention back to Torres again, restating, with more confidence, “I want Popeyes.”
“You are so weird man,” Torres said shaking his head, “I’ll go pick it up since you two are already…cozy….text me if you want sides and drinks and stuff alright?”
When Torres left, Bucky’s shoulders relaxed back into the couch and Sam grabbed the remote to press play. His left hand was still on Bucky’s knee, which was flush against his own. He lifted it and moved down the couch a little so that they each had some more room. Instantly, he regretted this decision when Bucky looked up at him with sad puppy eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Sam asked.
Bucky shook his head, “nothing,” he said, looking back at the movie.
“You sure? Remember what I said earlier. If you want or need something…you can tell me.”
“I um…I just…” Bucky was staring at his hands. “I wanted to know why you moved away…”
Sam smiled back at him softly. “I was trying to give us more space. To get comfortable. Spread out.”
“Oh.” Bucky said.
Sam shook his head and laughed. “Are you comfortable?” he asked Bucky.
“I’m fine.” Bucky answered.
“Do you want another blanket?” Sam asked.
“Ok.”
Sam picked up the blanket and put it on his own lap. “Alright, but I’m kinda chilly too, so you’ll have to scoot over here so we can share.”
Before he finished the sentence, Bucky was smiling and practically jumped off the couch and closer to Sam, leaving absolutely no space between them, as Sam draped the blanket over Bucky’s legs. Sam just smiled. He wished Bucky had just said that he wanted to sit closer to him, but this was progress at least. They sat like that through the rest of the movie and let the credits play.
“Torres will be back soon,” Sam said nudging Bucky with his elbow, “why don’t we go get the table set up so we can all eat together.”
“Together?” Bucky asked.
“If that’s okay with you,” Sam said standing up and stretching. “Torres is good guy. He – even if he realizes that you got put back on factory settings – we can trust him.”
“I trust you,” Bucky said with a sincerity that surprised Sam a little. Bucky sighed, “we were in an airport.” Sam looked at him confused, but he continued. “When I realized I could trust you. We were in an airport. And there was…something sticky on me. And you looked like you would rather be anywhere else in the world.” Bucky laughed. “You told me you hated me.”
Sam laughed. “I didn’t mean it. Or…well I guess I kinda did at the time. We didn’t exactly have a lot of good memories together back then.”
“But we do now?” Bucky asked.
Sam thought in silence as he grabbed some plates from a cabinet and began setting them out. “Yeah. We do. Some bad ones too. But yeah. We have good memories.”
Bucky started helping Sam, taking things from his hands and setting them down. “What’s your favorite?”
“I don’t know that it’s a favorite…its more…I don’t know…”
“Maybe it will help me remember.” Bucky said.
“I doubt it. Not even sure you’ll remember it. It was just…a moment.” Sam leaned against the counter. “You came down to Louisiana last summer. We had this big neighborhood cookout. And at one point, I looked over at you, and you were talking to my sister and one of her friends, with your sleeves rolled up, and two kids dangling from your vibranium arm, and you had this big goofy grin on your face.”
Bucky closed his eyes. “I remember.”
Sam squinted at him, “You’re messing with me.”
“I’m not,” Bucky said opening his eyes again. “I remember – its in pieces. But I remember feeling…at peace. And for some reason I remember that I am not supposed to show up to a party in the south with a store bought cake ever again.”
Sam started laughing hard when Torres opened the door and walked in with the food. Bucky’s stomach growling loudly as the smell drifted to him.
“Damn,” Torres laughed, “guess that super soldier metabolism is kicking in, huh?”
Bucky shrugged and then gave him an awkward smile. “Thank you for picking up dinner.”
“Wow…I’m gone for 20 minutes and you managed to teach him some manners…I’m impressed.” Torres joked, putting the food down.
Bucky grew pale and grabbed the chair in front of him, splintering the wood. Sam walked closer to him, placing a hand on his lower back. “He’s just joking,” he said softly, followed by a slightly louder, “you good?” Bucky just shook his head now.
“Hey man – I’m sorry…” Torres started.
“No. I’m sorry.” Bucky said coldly. “Its…something you said…it just…reminded me of someone else…of another time.” He took a few deep breaths and his grip loosened on the chair. “Sorry. I’m good.” Bucky started reaching for the bags, opening them up to get food. Sam followed suit.
“No you’re not,” Torres said, causing them to stop. “Look – I don’t know what happened out there today, but you are definitely not good right now. You’ve been acting weird all day. And I get that you two are…I don’t know…but I’m a part of this team too. I put my life on the line out there for you two all the time.”
Sam sighed. “It’s complicated.”
“No it isn’t,” Bucky interjected. “I got hit by some weird blast of energy and it messed with my memory. ” He sighed. “I honestly don’t remember ever meeting you…” he looked back at Sam, “either of you, before today.”
Torres sat down and started serving himself food on to his plate. “Man, that’s heavy. Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“I wasn’t sure if he…” Sam stammered, “when he first woke up…”
“I thought I was still him. The Winter Soldier.” Bucky looked at his hands. “I was him. I think. Or maybe I still am. But I think I’m…also Bucky.” He shrugged and said “I don’t know.”
“Of course, you don’t,” Torres said, shocking them both. “Look, I’m not trying to get into a nature vs. nurture argument here but, your memories, your experiences, they make you who you are. Maybe its okay to be both…as long as its you behind the steering wheel.”
Bucky started laughing and Sam and Torres stared at him. “I think you broke him Torres,” Sam said.
“No…no…it was…he said steering wheel” Bucky said laughing, “and then I remembered how we met.”
“Still too soon,” Sam said feigning anger while staring at Bucky with squinted eyes as he took a seat, “still too soon.” It made Bucky giggle.
Torres filled his plate and smiled. “Things are getting back to normal already. You two are picking on each other like a couple a school kids with a crush and I’m trying not to lose my appetite watching you flirt.”
Bucky’s face turned bright pink and he stared down at his plate before shuffling to fill it with food. Sam shook his head at Torres, trying to hide his smile. The rest of the evening passed pretty uneventfully. After the cleaned up from dinner, Torres went to his room to video chat with his girlfriend, Bucky went back to the couch and watched some old black and white movie huddled in his blankets, and Sam sat at the table and answered some emails, then called Sarah, thankful it was too late in Louisiana for the boys to beg to talk to Uncle Bucky. He hung up and yawned, looking to the couch to find Bucky asleep as the credits on the movie rolled.
Sam walked over and shut off the t.v. “Sam…?” Bucky said confused as he sat up.
“Hey,” he said softly, “did you want to stay out here or in your room?”
Bucky looked down, picking at his fingers, “Can I um…” he said nervously before looking up, “stay with you?”
Sam sighed. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I mean, its not that I don’t want to…its just…well I don’t know it seems like it might be…well because you aren’t really you right now…and it wouldn’t be right to…because you might not want that if you remembered…”
“Sam,” Bucky said standing up, “I remember everything.” Bucky lifted a finger to his forehead, “and its all you in here. I remember Fighting with you about a shield. And seeing you fly. I remember sitting in an empty apartment, listening to the sounds of the city, and thinking about you. I remember staring at messages on my phone from you and typing responses only to delete them. I remember that your laugh is my favorite sound in the world. And that you have a pair of jeans that should be illegal to wear in public you look so good in them. And that you put honey and oat milk in your coffee…which is incredibly weird. But I like ordering it when we go to the coffee shop by my apartment because when I flirt with the barista you make a face that I swear looks a little like jealousy. And I remember that it isn’t real flirting…it’s all fake charm. Cause when I really like someone, well I pick on them like a school kid with a crush apparently.”
He took another step toward Sam, “and yes…I tell you to shower first to make sure you get hot water even though I hate cold showers. But now that I got all my marbles back I know what I saw when you were looking at me when I got out of the shower earlier. So here’s a proposition,” he said cocking his eyebrow, “how about from now on…we just shower together?”
“Yes,” Sam said, cupping Bucky’s face in his hands, “God yes.” Bucky closed the last bit distance between them, crashing his lips into Sam’s. And yes, he was hit with some weird energy gun then electrocuted earlier in the day, but it was nothing compared to the sparks Bucky felt kissing Sam. It was somehow new and exhilarating, yet familiar and comfortable at the same time. Sam pulled away first, resting their foreheads together.
“Bucky,” Sam said, catching his breath, “I really…really…want to continue this in the bedroom…but honestly, I am so exhausted. Today was…today was terrifying. I thought I lost you.”
Bucky grabbed Sam’s hand. “I’m right here. And I’m not going anywhere. There’s no rush.”
“Well then,” Sam said smiling, “James Buchanan Barnes, would you like to come to bed with me?”