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Bliss was short lived, it always was for Miles. Weeks of normalcy (rather, what they considered normal) made them get a little comfortable.
And no one said their normal was good, either.
Ganke woke up to Miles heaving, sweat on his brows and panic in his eyes before he screws them shut again. He's seen this one before, he saw it last night actually- and saw it for the past week. He knows the only thing he can do is hold Miles close and keep his hands in front of him so he doesn't scratch his shoulder open again or end up with a fist narrowly missing his face and hitting the floor because Miles didn't see Ganke's face. He saw nothing.
Miles can't even explain what he truly sees, but he knows if he keeps his eyes open long enough he'll start to see spots in his vision again. No matter if his eyes are closed or open or in that halfway point where he might be ready but ultimately he can't bring himself to just open them.
Ganke knows its worse if he flicks the light on too, so he sits, quiet and patient with Miles in his arms.
Miles grasps at his neck, sputtering as he finally takes what felt like his first breath. Ganke slowly takes his hand from around his throat and gives his hand a light squeeze.
"You're okay Miles."
Am I? Miles wants to retort. But he knows exactly what Ganke's trying to say and keeps his mouth shut.
"Shit, I'm sorry..." Miles mumbles, pressing a light kiss to the back of Ganke's hand.
"It's fine. I know what I signed up for. Wait I-"
"I know what you mean, don't worry." Miles chuckles, finally relaxing in Ganke's arms.
His dreams hadn't been this bad in a while, and that's saying a lot considering what he saw. What he showed him. He, however obsolete, however distant, showed him. However faint he was in the grand scheme of things, Spot remained one his memory. His namesake was not forgotten, and he’d made sure of it.
"Are you alright? Can I turn the light on now?"
"Not yet please, my head hurts."
"Alright- mind the window?"
"No, window's fine." It's only around four in the morning anyway. He should be fine if light comes in slowly.
Once the sun rises and Miles has the strength to get out of bed, Ganke makes it a point for Rio and Jeff to make sure the TV's down a little lower than usual, that they talk a little quieter and keep the shouting across the house to a minimum.
Because Miles has "been a little sick cause' of allergies". And Rio narrows her eyes but doesn't pry, but she feels something brewing behind Ganke's eyes as he crosses over her son.
When Jeff says goodbye and Miles gives him a halfhearted hug from his place on the couch, Rio pulls Ganke aside to Miles' room. He feels his pulse beat in his chest when the door locks behind her. She's careful with her hands, taking Ganke's in hers with a pleading look in her eyes.
"What's going on with Miles?"
And it's here Ganke's heart breaks for Rio. He knows exactly what's wrong with her son, has known for five years.
"I-He's been a bit sick."
"No, he's not sick. There's something else and I just want to know what it is. He was going to tell me a little while back but then he actually got sick." She chuckles half-heartedly.
Ganke's phone rings in his pocket, Miles' name briefly popping up before he reads the texts.
i can hear you guys
she wants to know what's wrong
should we tell her?
For the first time, Ganke was at a standstill. He types and retypes until Miles finally sends something over, heart stuttering in his chest when it finally comes through.
lets tell her
are you sure? you want me to tell her for you?
yes, i'm sure. no, don't tell her
i'll do it
"Is that Miles?" Rio asks tentatively, keeping her place on the bed.
"Yeah..."
are you sure you're sure?
because i can lie for you
"What's he saying?"
Her hands grip the sheets, as if she’s about to get up and bolt to her son. He’s been in that position before, he doesn’t blame her.
i know
but you don't have to do that this time
come back out to the living room
let me do it
"He wants you to come out to the couch." Ganke holds a finger up to stop Rio from opening the door.
one more time
are you sure?
no, not really
but i'm gonna do it anyway
want me to be there?
no, that's ok
i'll be okay
let me know how it goes
Miles sighs, long and low. Ganke’s too good to wait on him like this.
i will
"Alright- you can go out now."
Ganke escorts Rio out the room and over to the couch, where she takes her son's hand in hers. Ganke leaves the two of them alone, him biding his time by playing games. But in the living room, the TV was paused on the 10 A.M. news.
Rio has her son’s hands in hers. Something that Miles forgot the feeling of, even though he hugged her last week and sat around the table for meals and vented to her on the couch about whatever or whoever irritated him that day and-
When's the last time Miles was her son? Not her son, per se, but her little boy? When was the last time he was her son and not Jeff’s son or Ganke’s boyfriend or Spider-Man or a friend or part of something they can’t even start to comprehend. When did his world get so big? And why does he feel so, incredibly small?
Especially now, with his mother’s hand wiping his cheek with the other simply cradling his head so lovingly within her palms. His mom.
In the rush to create his own, he forgot. How did he let himself forget he was their world? Her world. One of the only ones left in it at that.
“Mami, I’m sorry.” He whispers, voice still cracking even though he feels he’s grown past that point in his life.
"Mami, promise me you'll still love me."
"Miles.” She squeezes his hand tighter. “There is nothing you could say to me to make me stop loving you."
"Are you sure, mami? You have to promise me."
"Of course. Now, what’s been going on-?”
Miles winces when his head jolts up, even though it pains him. Seconds later, shots resound on the ground near their apartment. Jeff’s voice booms from over the radio in his cop car. He’s not there yet- he still sounds about ten or so miles out. That’s good, he won’t be near.
His body resists as much as it can, shoulder feeling heavy when he digs it up from underneath his mother’s own arm, though hers bore no weight to it. And the look across her eyes tells him he can’t keep doing this. He knows it too.
“Miles." He doesn't answer, the lightest sigh falling from his lips.
"Miles Gonzalo Morales don't you dare get up I know you heard that.”
Rio grasps her son’s hand tighter as if to say “stay, please.”
Miles nudges his hand out of her grasp, taking in the look on her face when he pulls his mask from in between the couch cushions. He shakes out whatever's on it, then she swipes it from him, gripping it to see if it’s fake. But the spandex feels too real between her fingers. The mesh around the eyes is sewn tight, the red trims smelled faintly of spray paint, and she only remembers that scent from the mural on the police station as it was drying, from Miles’ sketchbooks which stack up endlessly on the corner of his desk, and the few shirts and the one jacket with too many paint stains that he wears them to sleep most nights.
Miles holds back a sob when Rio hugs him as tight as she can, taking a moment to be her little boy for just another second. Tears threaten to fall out of her eyes too, but Miles hears Jeff’s voice louder in his ear. Now it’s really ten miles, which means ten minutes, meaning he has to go. Now. But his mom won't take that.
Instead of out to the car door or the school steps, she walks him over to the window in his room for the first time. Ganke nods slightly to acknowledge her.
Miles hugs her again, even tighter than the first. “I’ll be back, Mami.”
Will you? She wants to say, but looking towards Ganke soothes her worries. His brow furrowed softly, watching him swing off to the scene of the crime. It probably isn't jarring to him anymore, but she let out a screech when he first jumped out. She'll probably never get used to that. Then again, the way Ganke looks sometimes- she doesn't particularly want to. Ganke guides her back towards the bed when her knees didn't move like they were supposed to, a steady hand on her shoulder.
They don't speak, even though their minds race. Rio's the first to break the silence- Ganke's the first to reinstate it.
“He’ll come back,” He reassures, looking intently at his phone. “I know he will."
"But how do you truly know?"
"I don't." The words hurt to come out because he's not ready to truly admit that. "But I trust him to take care of himself."
"And how often does he actually do that?"
Ganke's breath hitches in his throat, but the truth follows anyway.
"Not as often as he should. He'll come back though."
They're both watching the little screen now, Rio's eyes can't tear themselves away from Miles' backflips and dodges. He lets her watch, his wrist cramping from holding the angle. Ganke mumbles one last thing before they fall back into silence.
"I'll make sure of it."