call (him)
Miles remembered the last time someone loved him too much.
It was September, maybe near October- one of those bipolar weather weeks where you could've sworn it was going to snow early (to everyone's disdain). But alas, no clouds, no muddied snow along the sidewalk, not even a car drove past as he laid his uncle down in the alleyway- hearts bleeding as one.
That's the part he hates most, remembering how he set him down instead of at least trying to take him to the hospital. He hated all of it, actually- the first breather they had when he was pinned against May's window. He could've took off the mask then, why didn't he? He could've kept their fight in the backyard and not the front roof where Kingpin didn't have a clear enough shot off on him. He could've told Aaron at the apartment, probably would've shit his pants in the process, but he still would've known.
He was responsible, still.
He led him there but he followed you so was it really your fault? He backed away and you saw the bullet too late but you didn't know he was going to shoot him.
What he didn't know hurt him bad, and whatever he knew hurt worse. Perhaps stasis of the heart was the best way to forget it in his mind. In time.
If anyone knew what happened that day- would they forgive him would his father ever forgive him?
No, because of the way older minds work. They pick what they want to hear, eat what they must to digest what they want to believe- and shit out the most nonsensical conclusions known to man by the end of it.
So no, he wouldn't tell him unless his life was on the line. And no, he didn't want to love anyone back this time, not this deeply. The pain of losing him would hurt less, even if for a while.
But Ganke, Lord- that boy he loved too much and too hard for. Loved him since seventh but it wasn't till this year that he'd truthfully fallen, mind, body, and soul.
"Miles? Miles? You alright? Hey." Soft voice, as are his hands and lips and skin. Something wet crawled down his face in the moments after, wishing he'd blinked them away.
"I know it hurts. Don't know how much, but-"
"-Not about that. It's about you."
Shit, he shouldn't have said that.
"Why? Do you not-"
Please don't make that face.
"...I think your love would be too much." They're falling faster, Aaron's body fresh behind his eyelids. Purple, red, brown, gray, blue skies under which he said goodbye and the feeling the body go cold in his arms- he doesn't like the color purple anymore.
"If it's too much then..." Ganke only pecks his cheek, hesitant to suffocate him anymore.
Miles, consciously moving Ganke towards his lips- was about to do something he'd regret.
"Miles Morales, Ganke Lee, are you all in there?"
If that's the Dean then- this is about their attendance, isn't it. Miles huffs, "We're leaving."
"What?!"
"I'm not gonna avoid him forever, just don't feel like dealin' with that big bitch today."
Ganke tosses him a web shooter from the desk, sandwiches strapped to his back by the handle. All the while keys jingle in the lock. "Come on, we goin' to the roof for a bit."
"Morales! Lee! I know you're in there!" Pushy as ever Mister...damn. Forgot his name. Y'know maybe he should attend class- or at least walk around school.
Ganke's on the ledge of the windowsill, Miles just above him. "Hurry!"
"I hear you in he- huh? Where'd you two go?"
The dean pokes around, under the bed, in the bathroom- and storms back out. His shouting weakens as he goes down the hall.
Miles and Ganke dink sandwiches atop the roof they sat, a pigeon pecks at the crumbs of their toast on the ledge below.
"A toast to toast." He's about to bite but he feels Miles' gaze on him, snickering. His eyes are saying 'are you fucking serious?' and he can't help but laugh.
"...Ganke I should throw you off this roof right now. Just for that." Miles Morales fell in love with an idiot.
"Kiss me before you do." He muses.
Don't say that cause' now he has to do it. But first, he lowers Ganke onto the ledge, lets him crawl inside.
"You comin' down or-"
Miles slipped that mask off, webbed Ganke over to the windowsill and finally got to taste cherries. Instead of zipping off like he usually would, he lowered himself down and into their room where Ganke was geeking out. Mentally, that is.
Ganke might've just short circuited. Did- did he?- he did.
Miles, suspended in midair, paused and mentally slapped himself because he did the upside down kiss. God he's gonna have to tell Peter B. B standing for because he was right. He always ended up being right in some way- baby powder on the joints of the costume? Fucking genius, hurts less on impact. Baby powder on the hands and a bit of vaseline or cooking oil on the suit? Now that's an Avengers level play right there.
But, he'd told him in some intermission point between getting to the bus from the diner:
"Remember Miles, never do an upside-down kiss cause' you'll both fall in love. Trust me, we'll all do it. Even Noir, but especially you."
He really should listen to his elders sometime.
"Do it again." Ganke doesn't say 'the Asian was too stunned to speak!' or 'he didn't get it the first time'. And he won't get it until he smells that cocoa from his skin and combs his fingers through his hair.
Miles grabs him by the collar of his olive button-down, probably popping a button off with the sheer force of which he did. Ganke couldn't process it till he tasted that hint of honey. Ganke didn't process it fully until he was pulling him back over- leaning into Miles with all certainty that if he were to fall anywhere, it'd be into Miles' arms.
Miles pulled back and thought Ganke was going to cook from how red his cheeks were. Y'know? Maybe he can make this what he thinks of when he sees red.
"Oh- oh my God?" He's scrunched into a little ball- really committed to the cherry bit aren't you Ganke?
"You gotta' stop daring me Keke, you know I'll do it."
"Then how about this." Miles is back on the edge, somewhat splayed back. Ganke got as close as he could. Was he about to-?
"I dare you to love me." Wow, that's more of a dare than sex, okay.
Miles felt like backing down again but no, not this time. Instead of his love being too much, maybe he could make it enough for the both of them.
Miles slips off for patrol later that night and made sure to leave a note. Took his phone for once too.
"I love you, and please go to bed."
Ganke fired up the Spiderweb archives and opened up his editing apps because the day he sleeps is the day he's dead.
Meanwhile, Miles swung to the top of an old building, kicking around scrap metal and bottles as he calls Peter B to admit defeat.
"Hey Miles!"
"Peter, hey!- am I interrupting anything?"
"No, no, Mary Jane went home a few hours ago, what's up?"
"You were right."
"About what?" A lot of things, but this one felt better than the rest.
He really didn't wanna say it. "The upside-down kiss."
"I knew it! Wait- are you two dating now or?"
"Yes? No? I don't know! I want to, I really want to but-"
"-Are you're scared of him losing you, or of you losing him."
Miles sighs, the crisp November air filtering through his mask. "Both."
"Whew- okay. What did I tell you at the start of all of this?"
"It's a leap of faith, that's all it is, Miles." He mocks.
"Exactly, and you told me the same." Peter's munching on something. Miles feels like it's pepperoni pizza with a nice crust.
"No but seriously, I know what it feels like. I didn't want kids back then cause...what if they don't have a father at some point? What if Mary Jane doesn't have a husband due to some freak accident? I used to think about it all the time...and I still do."
"What if I end up losing him though? I don't want anyone else to die because of me-"
"-Oh Miles." Dead uncles, blaming themselves, someone else shot em'- they really were the same. "You didn't do that. You didn't do any of that- you couldn't have known he would shoot him or that he'd bring everyone else to follow along...Hey, you still with me?"
"M' still here, don't worry. I think the same thing, "Just, still don't fully believe it yet."
"...You never got to talk about it, huh, either of them."
"No, I didn't. I saw my Peter die, didn't want you to follow after him. My uncle followed me and look where he is. But- let's uh, let's not talk about that right now."
"You don't have to." Easy silence drifts over the line, thank you Peter B.
"So about this kiss, who was it?" Peter played up the voice, but he really did feel like that inside. Miles was like a son to him now- not like, practically was.
"What do you mean? Peter, you know who this is."
"Miles, you've had more partners than all of us combined. How would I know at this point."
"...You know that pic Gwen sent you of that dude sitting in my lap at like two-three in the morning that you said was my boyfriend? Yeah, him. You said he was my roommate. I mean he is, but-"
"...Oh my God they were roommates."
"Peter," Miles dissolves into giggles, "That was good, but this is not the time."
"Seems like this is the time man." God, those two are the same.
"Yeah but uh, he's my best friend. He had the crush first. Actually, I don't know who had the crush first we kinda fell in love at the same time so-"
"-You had a crush first didn't you."
"Yeah..." Miles' voice cracks. Damn, how is he always right?
"Honestly? Seems like you two have it figured out already."
"Peter!"
"I'm serious! Why say you're dating at all? Why put a label on it? Why put a label on love?"
"...Peter you're getting married in like three months."
"Good point, but not the point!" He fiddles with his engagement ring. It's got ruby and sapphire intertwined on a silver ring. He got Mary Jane one with smoky quartz dotted around intricate bronze.
"You don't need to label everything, kid. Hell, you don't even need to speak it half the time. He knows who you are, right? You know him- both of you reckless-"
"-Hey!"
"I'm right! Anyway, you two have worked it out so far. All you gotta do now is figure it out together." Crunch.
"That pizza good ain't it."
"Paulie Gee's, best place in town!"
"Alright, you eat the rest of that. Thanks again, Peter."
"Anytime kid."
Peter's right. Always is, always will be.