Getting to know you.
None of this was fair. All he wanted was to help people. Life wasn’t fair-yeah he knew that already, but he would like it if it could give him a single break.
It wasn’t Tony. Despite the face, and the voice, and the names, and the looks-it wasn’t him. Peter wasn’t going to be fooled again, and his own want for him to be real wasn’t going to sway him. His firm-belief in the beginning had to be right-and he should be ashamed for trying to find a way around what had to be the truth.
It might not be Beck who’s car he willingly climbed into-
For the second time.
-but it certainly wasn’t Mister Stark. Peter knew Mister Stark. Mister Stark was dead, and he watched it happen. He watched the life fade from his eyes.
He couldn’t come back from that. He still had nightmares about him crawling out of his grave, and condemning him for being a horrible hero. He still called his phone when he was upset-and no oneanswered. He wasn’t coming back.
Mister Stark-the man who sacrificed himself for the-well the entire planet, wouldn’t be so…what was it? Disgruntled-disapproving? One of those over Peter’s minor sacrifices. His ‘sacrifices’ weren’t even close to what was expected of him. He was supposed to be the next Tony-and he’d barely been able to fill that role. Tony wanted Peter to be better than him-better was not what he was. Tony functioned for what seemed like weeks without sleep-or properly eating, and even when he did properly sleep it wasn’t for long. Peter wasn’t even able to go a few days. How was he going to be better than Tony if he couldn’t even manage what Tony did?
Tony would be disappointed. Not disconcerted. Not disapproving. He’d be wondering why Peter wasn’t doing more. Not playing twenty something questions about him being alone. Tony was alone at first.
All heroes ended up alone eventually-and Tony would know it was for the best, even if he was retiring. Only the best heroes were brave enough to have other people, and Peter had yet to reach inhuman as Spider-Man.
That’s what heroes were. They were inhuman saviors that were above everything. Tireless beings that everyone expected-and needed to be saved by. And eventually-like every good hero, he would die trying, and people would enjoy that.
But right now, he wasn’t doing enough, and there was no way he had gotten in the car with who he wished he had.
He still couldn’t bring himself to force his way out. If he didn’t look-and sound and feel so much like his long-gone mentor-if you could call it that-it would have been much easier to run away-and not get into his car, and not sit there, and try to ignore his own mixed feelings. They weren’t really mixed. He knew how he should be feeling-he just wasn’t feeling it.
It’s one of his flaws.
It wasn’t his fault his feelings weren’t easy to ignore. He was trying to just keep his head down, and ignore all of this.
He really really wanted it to be real. He wanted Tony to not be disappointed in him-and to do…whatever this was. But that wouldn’t happen.
It didn’t matter if he wanted it to or not, Tony couldn’t just not be dead.
Peter’s tried that before-on several different people, and so far none of it had worked.
If anyone could make it back it could be Tony. He was stubborn.
Stubborn didn’t mean undead. Besides-even if he was back that didn’t explain anything else. He wouldn't remember Peter-for starters. Even if he did he wouldn’t go out of his way to find him for-for whatever this was.
Maybe he was a nice alien trying to fit in.
Peter’s met nice alien’s, and they don’t impersonate people (almost) to a T, all in an effort to make someone trust them. They don’t make Peter have to explain himself to them, or buy him something he’s sure he can’t eat. And they don’t make him question himself this much.
Except for that one with the antenna thingies, she was nice-but she made him question a lot.
He wanted to just get up and go. Disappear, maybe go by Peter again-even if he knew he wasn’t going to do that deep down-and never be found as anyone again.
He couldn’t do that though. He was Spider-Man, and he couldn’t disappear-that and it felt like if he moved he might just fall over, and never have the energy or the strength to get back up.
The question-of which he had been thinking while he watched him get into the car-had slipped out of his mouth before he had so much as a second to censor himself
He was too tired to start a fight like this.
Why did he always open his stupid mouth when he wasn’t ready to fight someone?!
He wasn’t sure he could fight someone who looked like Tony.
No. He was sure that he couldn’t. He was pretty sure he’d rather die than hit Mister Stark…again. He thought he was going to disperse-even momentarily like an illusion-and now he was sitting in his car, letting his own suspicions drive him crazy.
It’s not crazy to be suspicious of something impossible. If it was, he’d be utterly insane by now.
That wasn’t helping.
“Kid. We’ve been through this already, you know who I am.”
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Tony was starting to wish Peter was Morgan’s age. Not that he wanted a six year old wandering the streets in spandex-but issue-wise, Tony was almost sure this would be easier to fix if Peter just so happened to be six years old. Instead Peter was…a lot older, and he had no real idea as to what he should be doing. So far, what he has been doing hasn’t helped.
What was he supposed to do then? He couldn’t just force Peter to trust him, and he didn't want to get himself punched once again. He wasn't so sure he would survive it.
"I don’t believe you." That's exactly what the problem is, now isn't it? There was no reason for Peter to not trust him, or not believe him. He was him, they had a good relationship-Tony thought they did at least. He could see him being a bit uncomfortable after him being gone so long, but really? If he was a super villain, especially one that wanted Pete dead? Pete would be dead by now-poisoned food, or just plain fighting by now.
If he was someone who for some inconceivable reason thought that kid should be dead? He wouldn't have waited for him to get in the car, now would he?
"Why not? There’s nothing I’ve done to even suggest that I’m not me, is there?” No, there wasn’t. He was Tony-and whatever he did would not make him not Tony. Everything he did was something he would do.
That’s just how it was.
“Tony Stark is dead-and people don’t come back from the dead-and I would know, I’ve tried that before-and it doesn’t work.” Tony-Tony wasn’t even going to look into that one. He wasn’t going to think about it at all-and he wasn’t going to wonder who Peter tried to dabble into the ‘dark arts’ for. Instead he was going to just…pull right through.
“Peter, I’m not dead-I wasn’t-I wasn’t all the way dead.” Unbelievable as that was-he was only ‘dead’ for a year. Why no one told Peter-or apparently Happy-or…or anyone that..that he was almost not dead was a mystery-all of his friends and family thought he was going to die like that too-but he didn’t-and apparently Peter never got any of those memo’s.
“I heard his breathing-and his pulse-and his everythingstop-he died infront of me. He’s not alive, and you’re not him.” Tony tried to search his brain for any semblance of a way to make Peter believe him. For some reason-Tony was sure that if he wasn’t careful he might receive more than bruised ribs-and he’d rather just have a civil conversation with him.
“Pete, there wasn’t a funeral-or a body-or…or anything-”
“Yes there was-I-I wasn’t invited-but there was. There were pictures of Pepper, and his daughter going back home after it-” Bull fucking shit.
“No-No No No, you wait a second-why in-in what world would younot be invited?!” Peter Parker was like Tony’s pre-child child-and he still was-why would he of all people not be invited to his fucking funeral?
“I-I don’t know-and it doesn’t matter-he’s dead either way.”
“Peter, what would it possibly take to convince you that I’m not dead?” Peter didn’t answer him, clearly too busy being already convinced the other way-and in that exact moment, Tony came up with a solution. Well-what was hopefully a solution. “Pete-do you remember EDITH? Well-Happy was supposed to give her to you if I was to kick the bucket.” Tony took EDITH off of his face. “It’s funny because he said he remembered giving her to someone-but no, she was there with all his stuff at the old tower.” Tony had the firm belief-well, he had developed it once he remembered Peter-but he firmly believed that Peter had returned them when the whole ‘forgotten thing’ happened. “But you know-EDITH knows everything-so I guess, if you really wanted to know if I was alive or not, you could ask her.” Peter looked between Tony-and the unassuming glasses like Tony was instead offering him a ticking bomb instead. “What’s wrong?” Peter-who had begun to look unnecessarily pale-shook his head.
“Is-Is that really EDITH?” If this was the time for sarcasm-and not gentle urging, Tony would be having the time of his life with all the opportunities Peter kept giving him.
“Why don’t you ask her?” Peter glanced between EDITH, and Tony, like if he looked suspicious enough of Tony-and EDITH, he would suddenly have an answer as to what he should do.
It’s still upsetting that Peter’s terrified of both Tony-and who Tony could be, and EDITH-for no apparent reason.
“Here Peter, she’s not going to bite.” Tony shook the glasses at him, receiving little more than a worried look. He continued to look between the glasses, and Tony, before finally taking them out of his hand. That was good-now he could ask EDITH for proof-of either his death (of which he’d find no real proof) or him not being dead-which he was bound to find something of.
Hopefully.
Maybe then they could actually talk.
There’s a few things Tony would like to ask him right about now.