Blindsided

Peter watched as Daredevil left the communal kitchen, his cane ticking against the floor.

Steve was ranting but Peter wasn’t listening. He couldn’t believe how the others reacted to Daredevil being honest.

Sure, Peter could understand that they were mad about him lying about losing his sight but he had a good reason! He was protecting his identity, and the people close to him.

If it were Peter in that situation, he probably would have done the same. He couldn’t believe that the others didn’t see that.

And let’s not forget that Daredevil did suffer through some pretty messed up stuff if Peter could believe what Mr Stark had told him. He knew they’d found Daredevil tied to a metal surface and he had obviously been tortured judging from the injuries he had.

Peter found that he had reason enough not to tell them the truth.

“-about something like that?” Steve said, his voice dripping with venom. “I can’t believe he’d hold something that important back! For what? To make us feel guilty? To pity him?”

Peter couldn’t believe it when he saw every other Avenger agree. He got up, his chair scraping against the floor.

“Stop it!” he said. “Mr Rogers, I don’t think you’re in any position to judge him. Nor are any of you.” Peter let his gaze fall on the others.

“Kid-“ Tony started but Peter shook his head, narrowing his eyes.

“No, Mr Stark. Daredevil just told us why he didn’t say anything. He wanted to keep his friends and family safe, he needed to protect his identity. And not one of you knows what that is like,” Peter spoke, trying to keep his voice level. “You don’t get to judge him for trying to take back the little control he still had. He was forced to show his face to you guys when it was pretty clear he didn’t want us to know what he looked like. He went through shit to keep you from spilling secrets.”

This time Peter held eye contact with Steve, who looked away. It seemed he got the message.

“The only thing that could keep us from knowing who he is was to lie about his blindness. And don’t pretend to know what it’s like to lie to the people around you because none of you knows what that’s like. None of you knows what it’s like to have to hide a part of who you are. So you don’t get to judge. Not about this.”

His chest ached and Peter took in a deep breath, realising that he hadn’t done so since he started talking. He exhaled shakily, his gaze flickering over the table where everyone stared at him.

Steve avoided his eyes, instead opting to look at his plate.
Tony had a thoughtful look on his face but didn’t say anything.

Peter shook his head, unclenching his hands. The back of his chair had two very visible dents in them but he didn’t care.

He turned and left the room, following the path Daredevil had walked just moments before. He needed to be alone, right now.

*

Matt didn’t go back to his apartment. His feet brought him to Foggy’s doorstep and it wasn’t until the other man opened the door that Matt figured out what he was doing here.

Foggy’s smell was strong, familiar and Matt found himself relax.

“Matt?” Foggy asked, his voice soft and worried.

Matt almost cried at the sound and he stepped forward, hugging the man tightly.

“Matt? Are you okay?” Foggy asked. He didn’t protest the hug though, just wrapped his arms around his best friend, his hand reaching up to cup the back of Matt’s head. A gesture that was so familiar.

Here he could safely fall apart, knowing his friend would help piece him back together.

*

He was wrapped in Foggy’s smell. The soft fabric of Matt’s favourite sweater rubbed against his skin and he resisted the urge to inhale the scent of his best friend like a crazy person.

He must not have done a great job because Foggy snorted.

“If you’re done trying to inhale that sweater, can you tell me what happened?”

Matt didn’t move yet, soaking in his surroundings first. He was on Foggy’s couch, a soft blanket was thrown over his body. He didn’t remember making it into the apartment.

Foggy was on his left, in an armchair his mother had given him. The springs squeaked and the fabric still smelled faintly of the cigars Mr Nelson used to smoke.

“I told the truth,” Matt admitted.

Foggy moved. “They kicked you out?”

Matt tilted his head, eyes moving across the room. They burned every now and then, a lasting effect from the attack it seemed.

“More or less,” he sighed.

The sound of Foggy’s hair brushing through his fingers told Matt he ran his hand through his hair. “They know who you are, then? Should we be worried?”

“I’ll handle it if they do. I never told them my name but I’m sure they’ll figure it out,” Matt shrugged. He didn’t want to deal with them if they did decide to confront him. He doubted they would, though.

“If you’re sure,” Foggy trailed off and when Matt nodded he sighed. “Fine. Have you had dinner yet? I was going to order some from that little Thai place we went to with Karen but I wasn’t sure if you wanted something.”

Matt smiled. “No, that sounds good.”

“Great,” Foggy replied, already on the phone to place their order.

*

Despite Foggy’s insistence, Matt went back to work the next day. He wanted to get back in his old rhythm as fast as possible and he knew they had cases enough.

He busied himself with the cases he’d missed in the two weeks he’d been gone. He listened as Foggy talked to Karen about their latest case, a sexual assault case that was pretty much already solved. There was enough evidence to send the guy away for at least five years.

He’d had to lie to Karen about where he’d gone, had stumbled over his words when she asked him how it went.

Apparently Foggy had told her that Matt had gone to a training retreat for service dogs. He had to tell her that it hadn’t worked out.

Well, he only had himself to blame for that.

He’d reached out to Melvin for a new suit. Natasha had informed him that his old one had been ruined, not that they thought he’d need a new one.

So, at night he donned his old costume again. The fabric was warm against his face and everything felt the way it was supposed to be.

Except it wasn’t. Not really.

Whatever chemicals HYDRA had used on him, they’d done something to his senses. They’d messed them up and Matt found himself having regular sensory overloads, unable to filter anything out. Sometimes it was one sense that had the upper hand, leaving the others useless. Other times everything worked at the same time, making it impossible for Matt to focus. That usually ended with him trying to find a quiet place and falling apart.

He thought it’d pass but it had been weeks now. It wasn’t getting better.

It scared him, terrified him. He felt weak. He’d spent most of his life relying on his senses and now they were betraying him. Most days, he couldn’t focus enough to know where he was. He had to rely on Foggy more, needed his friend to guide him as he tried to find his way around. He felt blind, in every sense of the word.

A soft rap on wood made Matt snap back to the present.

“Matt? You okay?” Karen asked, eying her friend curiously. “You seemed kind of out of it.”

Matt blinked, noticing the worried tone in her voice. “Sorry, I was lost in thought.” He shook his head. “Did you need anything?”

“Yes, actually. There’s someone here for you.”

The way the air shifted around her suggested that she made some kind of gesture with her hand.

It was only then that Matt registered another heartbeat in the room. Their footsteps came closer until the person was standing just behind Karen.

“Mr Murdock,” Tony said, sending the blonde woman a smile. “My name’s Tony Stark.”

Matt tried to conceal his surprise on his face by getting up, pointedly ignoring the way Karen’s heartbeat sped up and how blood rushed to her cheeks.

“Mr Stark,” he replied, unsure of the man’s intentions. “What can I do for you?” he kept up the pleasantries because he knew Karen was still listening. He was pleased and surprised that Tony initiated the act.

His heart was beating normally and he didn’t seem to be angry. He wasn’t in his Iron Man suit so Matt took that as a good sign.

Tony entered the office, letting the door fall shut behind him with a soft click.

Matt felt Foggy’s gaze on him, knowing that the other man had seen the billionaire enter. “Say the word and I’ll get him out of here,” Foggy whispered under his breath, still scribbling down notes as not to alarm Karen.

“So you’re a lawyer by day and a vigilante by night,” Tony stated. “How’s that work?”

Matt didn’t answer and Tony moved over to the window.

Both of them stayed silent for a while. The silence stretched through the room, heavy and thick.

“What are you doing here, Stark?” Matt asked, trying not to take a defensive stance. He settled for leaning against his desk.

Tony let out a dramatic sigh. “We were forced to see your perspective of the situation and I felt like we left things on unfair terms.”

Matt’s eyebrows rose before his lips formed into a smirk. “Peter?”

Tony sighed exaggeratedly. “That kid’ll be the death of me.”

“He’s a good kid,” Matt agreed. “What I did to you, not telling you the truth, wasn’t fair of me. I admit that, and I am sorry for how it made you all feel. You had every right to be mad.”

It wasn’t difficult to admit this. Matt knew it was true, he had acted wrong. After everything that had happened, he knew that keeping secrets only ended in others being hurt.

“We could have tried to see it from your perspective, though,” Tony said. “Peter tried to explain why you must’ve lied. I cannot imagine living with two identities, we both know how that turned out for me, but he can. And I think I understand it now.”

Matt simply nodded. He didn’t know how to respond to that.

He felt Tony’s gaze on him and tried to make out what the other man was thinking.

“That’s not the only reason why I came here, though,” he continued. “HYDRA is still out there and we still need Daredevil.”

“I’m sure you guys can handle it,” Matt replied, fiddling with a rubber dinosaur Foggy had gotten him in college.

“We could,” Tony didn’t deny is, “But we don’t know Hell’s Kitchen. We could use your insight on that part.”

Matt raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sure how much insight I can give you,” he said, a smirk tugging at his lips.

“I just rolled my eyes at you,” Tony told him.

Matt shook his head. “I’m sorry, Stark, but I’m not the guy for this. HYDRA is the Avengers’ mess and I would rather stay out of it.”

“You are aware that you could be an Avenger, right? Because we all think you should be.”

Matt bit his lip, tilting his head to focus on the sounds outside. It was difficult to focus on the sound of the homeless woman on the street with Tony’s arc reactor buzzing loudly in his ears.

“I fight for the little guys, Stark. I’m not an Avenger.”

“Spiderman does the same,” Tony pointed out. “But that’s not the point. The point is that we need your help. Whether you like it or not, HYDRA is still operating out of Hell’s Kitchen and if you want to help the little guys then you must first take out the big guy.”

Matt sighed but didn’t reply. He could hear Foggy talking to a client and hoped they needed him.

“Please think about it, Mr Murdock,” Tony sighed before he left Matt’s office. He said goodbye to Karen and Matt listened as he left the building and got into a car.

It wasn’t long before Karen approached him, leaning against his door with a soft knock.

“So, what brought Mr Billionaire to our humble abode?” she asked.

Matt smiled, keeping his hand on his desk as he walked around it to sit in his chair. “He wanted my opinion on something. I said I’d get back to him.”

He could feel Karen’s curious stare on him but he didn’t elaborate, just moved to grab his laptop and earbuds.

She eyed him a bit longer before eventually moving back to her desk, leaving Matt alone with his thoughts.

They knew who he was now, they knew where he worked, who his friends were. And he wasn’t sure how he felt about that.