Iris

“Love never goes away; it just changes form.” —Pamela Anderson

Time has a way of passing without being noticed. 

Steve took a deep breath. Praying had never come very natural to him. But God, I want this. Please bless us with a child. 

Bucky squeezed his hands. He was supposed to have his eyes closed too, but he was too restless for that. 

“I’m afraid to look,” Steve whispered. 

“I’ll do it,” Bucky said softly. He prayed for Stevie’s sake. 

But the pregnancy test was negative. 

Whimpering, Steve blinked rapidly trying to hide tears. “I don’t— I’m doing something wrong!”

“No, you’re not,” Bucky’s voice cracked. “We just started tryin, doll.”

Steve looked devastated like the aftereffects of an earthquake. 

Bucky waggled his eyebrows. “And ain’t it fun trying?” He sighed with relief when Stevie giggled. Wrapping his arms around him, he assured himself that they were ok. 

But they weren’t, not really. 

This was the fifth negative pregnancy test. 

Steve had to switch gears. He couldn’t keep thinking about it; he couldn’t keep being so sad. So, he focused solely on his big monologue.

“Hey, are you alright?” Sam asked. 

A lie was on the tip of his tongue, but the truth slipped out. “No.”

Sam sat next to Steve. 

“W-We’ve been trying,” he whispered. 

“You only got married a few months ago!” Sam immediately wished he hadn’t said anything. 

Steve was crying. “W-What if I can’t get pregnant?”

Sam hugged his friend. “Don’t think like that. You know that’s part of the problem. You’re putting way too much pressure on yourself. Sarah only got pregnant when they stopped trying.”

“I just want to be an oma so badly.” Steve wrapped his arms around himself.  

“You’ll be one,” Sam promised. 

Bucky stormed into the house, startling the construction workers. 

“Everything alright, boss?” Fury asked. 

“No,” Bucky said. “I need you to scrap that secret project of ours.”

“If you say so,” Fury said. “Any other changes?”

Bucky nodded and tried to remember what Stevie had been saying. “Stevie didn’t like where the bed was placed. He was wondering if it could be moved next to the windows?”

Fury frowned. “I’m sure it’s an easy fix.”

Bucky didn’t care if it wasn’t. He only cared about Stevie. 

Steve still wasn’t used to having someone there. 

Someone who actually cared. 

“C’mon, doll.” Bucky grinned at him. 

“Ok,” Steve whispered. Taking a deep breath, he slipped into character. “I’m sick of the way you treat me. I’m worth more than this. I deserve better. You don’t get to treat me like I’ve got nothin better than to be yours. Cause being someone else’s ain’t right.”

Just like that, the character slipped away. 

“That was incredible!” Bucky clapped. 

“Really?” Steve asked. He curled up in Bucky’s lap. “You know I’ve been rehearsing the shit out of it. It’s the first time I’ve been given more than two lines in a row this season.” 

Bucky kissed him. “I am so proud of you.”

Deepening the kiss, Steve lost himself in Bucky. 

Bucky’s calloused hands slipped under Steve’s t-shirt. Teasing Steve’s nipples, he evoked such pleasure. “God, baby, I want you so bad.”

“Want you, Alpha” Steve panted. 

Bucky shucked off his shirt. He had every intention of ravaging his sweet omega. 

“W-Wait.” Steve pulled away. “I can’t. I’ve gotta get up early for the shoot.”

Bucky took a deep breath. “You go to bed, honey. I’m gonna take a real cold shower.”

Steve giggled. “I love you.”

“Love you, doll.” Bucky kissed him again. “You’re gonna do amazing.”

Steve woke to the trill of his alarm. He hurried to silence it, not wanting to wake Bucky. Leaning over Bucky, he pressed a soft kiss against his cheek. 

Bucky smiled in his sleep. 

Steve smiled back. He dressed quickly and tip-toed downstairs. Filling Hushie’s dog bowl, he patted her and said. “Oh, I know. I know you’re hungry. Mama loves you.”

Happy was waiting for him outside. “Mornin', boss.”

Steve yawned. “It’s too early for morning.”

The drive was quiet. 

Steve might have nodded off, but he was too excited for his big monologue. “Thanks, Happy,” he said as he stepped out of the car and onto the set. 

Hair and makeup were always time-consuming. 

But Steve chatted with the artists and listened to the radio. 

“I’m nervous,” he admitted. 

“Don’t be nervous,” Darcy said, applying more eye shadow. 

Steve was about to say something, but “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” came onto the radio. He and Darcy squealed and started to sing along. 

This thing called love, I just can’t handle it

This thing called love, I must get round to it

I ain’t ready

Crazy little thing called love

“New script, Mr. Roger,” a stagehand dropped a pile of papers onto his lap. 

Steve started leafing through it. He already knew his lines…

But his lines weren’t there. 

Frowning, he excused himself and walked over to the director’s tent. 

The director was there talking with the writers. They didn’t even look up when Steve approached. 

“Hey, guys,” Steve forced himself to sound sweet. 

“Did you get the new pages?” One of the writers asked.

Steve nodded. “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“What's up?” He asked. 

“My monologue,” Steve started. “It’s been cut. Now it’s just me running into the water and losing my swimsuit.”

“We just felt it was more powerful that way,” the director said. “It's so kinetic.”

“But…” Steve wanted to fight. But he saw the way they looked at him.

“We just thought it was stronger,” the director repeated. “Wordless.”

Just like a good Omega was supposed to be. 

“Oh, yeah sure.” Steve forced a smile. 

“You’re such a pro,” one of the writers said. 

“Yeah.” Steve was a pro, wasn’t he?

So, Steve did the shoot, wordless. He didn’t even flinch when the director and the writers stared at his naked body. 

And it wasn’t until after…

It wasn’t until after that Steve finally broke apart like a hurricane. 

Sam braved the storm, just like he always did. 

“I am so over it,” Steve’s voice cracked. 

“It’s your last season,” Sam said. “You’re gonna be a movie star.”

Steve wasn’t so sure. 

“When have you ever failed at anything your entire life?” Sam asked. 

Steve didn’t know what to say to that. He’d failed at so many things he didn’t see a way out. 

Steve exhaled as he stepped inside his home. 

There’s something comforting about coming home after a bad day. 

For a moment, he leaned against the door and closed his eyes. 

Bucky ran down the stairs and swept him off his feet. “You’re home!”

Steve laughed. He wrapped himself around his alpha, needing comfort more than he’d admit. 

Bucky needed the closeness too. Hungry for more of it, he brought them even closer together with a breathless kiss. Huskily, he asked, “Are you hungry?”

“Starved.” Steve kissed the corner of Bucky’s mouth. 

Still carrying Steve, Bucky twirled them into the kitchen. “Close your eyes, close your eyes.”

“Ok.” Steve giggled. Closing his eyes, he smelled something heavenly.

Bucky drummed his hands. “One, two, three!”

Opening his eyes, Steve gasped at the feast laid out before him. 

Bucky grinned. “I’ve prepared for you the traditional cuisine of my people!”

“When did you do this?” Steve asked. 

Bucky didn’t answer his question. “This is Ciorbă, it’s a chicken soup. This is Sarmale, cabbage rolls. This is salata de vinete, it’s a roasted eggplant salad. And for dessert, it’s julfa with hemp mousse.”

“This is amazing!” Steve exclaimed. “Can I try it?”

Bucky sang in Romanian as he filled Steve’s plate. 

Aşa joacă pe la noi2

Iac-aşa doi câte doi,

Iacă, iac-aşa.

Vezi, aşa se joacă fata,

Şi pe stânga şi pe dreapta

Iacă, iac-aşa.

This is how we dance here

Like this, two by two

See, this is how you dance with a girl

You turn on the left, you turn on the right

And don’t let her get away that easily

Look, like this

“That’s beautiful,” Steve said softly. 

“My ma always sang that when she was cooking,” Bucky told him. 

“What’s your mom’s name?” Steve asked. 

“Winnifred Creţu Barnes.” Bucky was filling his plate. 

“Is your dad Romanian too?” Steve asked. 

He imitated a New York accent before saying, “He’s from Brooklyn, but he joined the military young. Traveled around a lot. That’s actually how he met my ma, they met when he was stationed overseas.”

“What’s your dad’s name?” Steve asked. He was curious tonight and wanted to know more about his husband. 

“George,” Bucky said sitting across from Steve. “What’s your dad’s name?”

“Joseph,” Steve said softly. “But he died when I was little.”

The truth was, Steve, didn’t remember his father. He hadn’t thought about those early days of hospitals and sickness. “Oh, my God! This is delicious!”

Grinning, Bucky asked, “So, how was your day?” 

Steve’s smile fell. He wrung his hands on his lap. 

“What?’ Bucky asked. 

Sighing, Steve said, “They cut my monologue. Said it was stronger wordless .”

“Wait, what?” Bucky frowned. 

“Anyway, it’s not a big deal. It’s not a big deal.” Steve smiled forcefully. “It happens all the time.”

“That was your big scene!” Bucky growled. 

“I know.” Steve sighed. 

“You practiced the shit out of it!” Bucky continued. He was worried by Steve’s lack of reaction. 

“I know,” Steve said. “I just… I don’t know.”

“You’re doing it!” Bucky said. 

Steve huffed a laugh. 

“I’m serious,” Bucky said. “C’mon, you’re doing it. You’re about to be the biggest movie star in the world! You go in there and tell them you’re doing that scene or you walk!”

“God, I wish I could be more like you.” Steve smiled sadly. 

“You can be,” Bucky insisted. “You deserve so much better than that.”

“I love you.” Steve took Bucky’s hand. 

“I love you more,” Bucky kissed his hand. 

“Not possible.” Steve leaned forward and kissed him. 

Trouble like time has a way of approaching without being noticed.

***

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