ornery

It was surprisingly easy to break into a morgue, especially with Thing. The hand was able to break in through the vents and open the door for Wednesday and Reena.

"While I do the autopsy, you find the files of the monster's other victims and make copies," Wednesday instructed, already on her way to the new body. "Don't pout. Your scalpel skills are questionable." She unrolled her tools. "Do you remember my thirteenth birthday, when Uncle Fester gave me that cadaver? You sliced right through that man's carotid."

"We need this to be quick and efficient," Reena reiterated. "There's no room for messing up right now, Thing."

Wednesday opened one of the doors. "No." Another. "No. Magnificent hematoma." She finally found the right one. "There you are. Thursday, 7:23 p.m. The body is that of a 50-year-old male. Lacerations and defensive wounds appear on both hands. What remains of the chest and torso indicates a frenzied attack. Subject has been almost entirely disemboweled."

"Hey, Wednesday," Reena got her attention. "Check this out."

"This is curious. Subject's left foot is missing. It appears to have been chewed off at the ankle." Thing came running into the room. "Have you seen a left foot anywhere? Calm down. Who's coming?"

"Shit," Reena muttered as she pushed the body back in and the door shut. "We need to hide."

Wednesday, with her death-like complexion, hid in one of the cold lockers, Thing chose the head of a skeleton, and Reena was behind the table farthest from the door.

"Appreciate you coming back to the office, Doc," Reena heard the Sheriff's voice.

"No problem, Sheriff," the coroner assured. "Whatever I can do to help. Whatever or whoever is responsible for these killings... In all my years, I've never seen injuries like them. I thought you should see this before I issued my report on the latest victim. It's a real noodle-scratcher. The killer cut off two toes from the victim's left foot. Best guess, they used a surgical saw. The final autopsy report's still pending."

"Minute you're done, send it straight to my desk. Media blackout on the toes."

"Sure thing, Sheriff. Been a busy couple of weeks, huh? At least I'm going out in style. Friday's my last day."

"Happy retirement, Doc. Gonna surprise Mrs. Anwar with a four-week cruise. Excited to trade rib shears for Mai Tais. See yourself out. I'll lock up."

The corner looked around, and the slightly open door on the cold locker caught his eye.

He went over and opened it open, Wednesday lying there, eyes staring back at him. "I don't remember this one coming in. Full rigor. You've been dead a while. Guess you won't mind waiting another day for me to cut you open."

The corner then shut the door and left.

Thing went over and reopened the door where Wednesday was. "Five more minutes. I was just getting comfortable."

Reena sighed and got up. "Wednesday, we need to get going. Enid's going to question us if we're gone too long."

Wednesday pushed the door open. "Fine. I'll make it quick."

* * *

In every TV show or movie where a murder took place, there was always a murder board. Of course, Wednesday and Reena had to have one as well.

Although, Enid was a bit disturbed by it. "When I suggested giving your side of the room a makeover, I did not have Ted Bundy's Pinterest in mind."

Reena scoffed. "This is far better than any Pinterest board Ted Bundy could ever make."

"And still not as creepy as your stuffed unicorn collection," Wednesday shot at Enid.

"Is this why you snuck out last night?" Enid asked.

"Thing, Reena, and I made an unsanctioned trip to the morgue to copy the files of the monster's victims," Wednesday explained

Enid cringed. "Okay, there are so many levels of ew in that statement, I don't know where to begin."

"We need to get inside its head. Discover any patterns or anomalies. We've already made a big discovery." Wednesday took the photos of the missing body parts off the board and presented them to Enid. "The first one a kidney, the second a finger..."

Enid panted. "Wednesday, I don't feel..."

"Third a gall bladder. And the bearded man from the meeting house, two toes. Do you understand what this means? These murders aren't mindless. He's collecting trophies like a seasoned serial killer. It's impressive, actually."

"We're still not sure what he's doing with them," Reena continued. "But we're working on it."

Enid didn't respond as she had passed out. "Fetch the smelling salts. Again."

"We should keep those at arms reach," Reena suggested. "This is the third time this week."

* * *

"While most plants reward their pollinators with sweet nectar, many carnivorous varieties turn to sеxual trickery or deception," Ms. Thornhill went on with her lesson.

Xavier grunted as he went to grab his sketchbook out of his backpack. "I tweaked my back fencing."

"He's lying," Reena whispered to Wednesday. "His explanation was too quick."

"The orchid produces a pheromone that mimics a female insect, luring the males in," Ms. Thornhill taught. "Now, once the plant is pollinated, what do the male insects get in exchange?"

"Nada. Just like all the guys at the Rave'N," Biance joked and some students laughed.

Ms. Thornhill smiled. "Okay, okay. I know you're all excited about Saturday, which is why I haven't assigned any homework. But I do still need volunteers for the decorating committee. Anyone interested, come and see me up here."

"You're not gonna volunteer?" Xavier teased. "Aren't you pumped about disco balls and spiked punch? There's even a DJ. MC Blood Suckaz."

Wednesday gave him a blank look. "I'd rather stick needles in my eyes. I'll probably do that anyway."

Xavier started putting his stuff away. "Or you could invite someone and have a little fun."

As he leaned over, the two girls could see the red claw marks on his neck. Like anyone would do after this discovery, the two followed him after class to a shed in the middle of the woods.

Thing sat on Wednesday's shoulder. "We need to do this. Xavier didn't get those scratches from fencing. He's hiding something."

"I knew he was lying," Reena mentioned. "I used to lie the same way. If you answer too quickly, it sounds rehearsed."

Once they were sure Xavier was gone, they entered the shed and turned the lights on, revealing many drawings of the monster they had encountered before.

Wednesday took it in. "I suppose every artist needs a muse." She picked up a few drawings. "Xavier, you just became that much more interesting."

"An interrogation might be in order," Reena noted as Wednesday hid the drawings in her jacket.

They both would have been in the clear if they weren't found by Xavier only a few seconds after they had left the shed. "Wednesday. Reena."

"Xavier." Wednesday turned around. "Hello."

Reena fake smiled. "It's funny seeing you here, Xavier."

"What are you doing?" Xavier questioned.

"Nothing."

"Just hanging out."

"We just saw you come out this way," Wednesday continued. "What is this place?"

"It's kind of my private art studio," Xavier answered. "I cleared it out, fixed it up, so Weems let me use it."

"How very entrepreneurial. I would love to see inside. Why don't you give me a tour?" Wednesday tried to convince him.

Xavier shook his head. "Not right now. It's a total mess."

"I shadowed a crime scene photographer last summer. I'm not easily fazed."

"I have plenty of little cousins. I can handle mess really well," Reena shared.

"Maybe another time," Xavier denied. "Why were you looking for me?"

"We wanted to go over Ms. Thornhill's homework assignment," Wednesday tried to lie.

"She didn't give us homework. Remember?" Xavier caught Wednesday's lie. "Why are you really out here? Is this about a certain dance that makes you want to poke needles into your eyes, perhaps? I'm all ears."

Reena bit the bullet for Wednesday. "I was wondering if you wanted to go to the dance with me? You know, two archery buddies going together? I asked Wednesday to come with me 'cause I'm not a huge fan of the woods."

Xavier chuckled. "Yes, Reena, I would love to go to the dance with you. Honestly, I thought you hated me for a little bit."

"Oh, no!" Reena lied. "I'm just a bit competitive."

"Well, great. I'll see you there?"

"See you there."

Wednesday grabbed Reena's sleeve and dragged her away. "Why would you do that?"

"I know you don't want to go, so I sucked it up for you," Reena explained. "Now, you have no obligation to go."

"But now you do," Wednesday countered.

"I understand that. I didn't want to go, but it's fine."

"But I--" Wednesday tried to argue.

"Wednesday, it's too late," Reena cut her off. "I already asked Xavier, so I have to go. It probably won't be too bad, anyway."

"Fine."

"Fine."